Snowy560

I am becoming very resentful. I have two girls: one age 16 and the other age 20 both live with us (the younger is at school; the older is at university). Both have part time jobs. So they have very little "free time" to contribute to the household tasks (they don't do what they're asked) and neither believes they need to contribute financially. They pay for the "non essential" things they want (brand name clothes etc etc.) but we are paying for all "essentials" like cell phone; school fees; utilities etc.

If they did more round the house I wouldn't feel so irritated about it. But it's generally the case that they say they will but don't or at least not very well and/or I have to go on and on about it.

Just wondering: what do or did you expect your "children" to do in similar circumstances? (And how do you get them to do it?!)

Thank you!

uk_grenada

Its quite simple, stop buying stuff, and make it clear you have done so.

Since when was a mobile phone essential, and if they have jobs a percentage should be saved and a percentage should be paid towards itilities, not a lot, but its a habit worth forming.

We kept our childrens contributions, as percentages, when they got good paying holiday then permanent jobs, and at university both worked as waitresses at weekends, invested in savings then the stock market which they managed from the age of 21. I now have 2 young investment lovers with circa 75k each in their tax free investment vehicles by the age of 24.

Oink

Nothing, they're young and they have better things to worry about. They're trying to get through school, navigate complex social interactions, dealing with the intensity of the ego-ideal. As long as they're kind, friendly and supportive I wouldn't make them pay for anything. They'll have the rest of their lives to deal with that.

Shard

+1 and well said on the future.

Remarkably, my kid never wants anything, so it's a bit untested, but I certainly don't expect any contributions.

Snowy560

Not even in terms of helping keep the house tidy? I think everyone should do their fair share in the house. And I personally don't think I'm doing them any favours paying for everything. One of them often goes over on her data allowance on the phone and it's really hard sometimes impossible to get the overages from her.

uk_grenada

You'll be sorry one day, remember, its not about the money, its not about how much, its the ethic, like working, financial proberty isnt an accident.

Shard

That's a matter of 'training from a young age' I think, not financial incentives. But, it depends on the household.

Shard

Excess data would be for the kid's account.

Oink

No, not really. We're the adults, it's our responsibilty to maintain the household. They'ed be times when you might do a project together, like put a shed up, install a new sail on a boat, go shopping with you to help choose weird Anuty Cheryl's wedding present but apart from stuff like washing off their wellies when they've come home from a music festival, cleaning their eclectic toothbrush or takin the dog out to do it's business while you're trying to wrestle a Thanksgiving turkey into the oven, then no.

Oink

Teaching and instilling management and investment skills is a different issue than making them tidy up the garage or buy their own clothes.

uk_grenada

I met a young lady last year who was seven years old. She has $4 million in her bank account and mother has 200 million and the grandfather has several billion.

In the house there are a number of servants however the young lady in question makes her bed, tidies her room, washes the kitchen floor at weekends and works week end in a local mom and pop diner. Her work ethic is taught, she enjoys working, sure its a hobby and she cannot fear loss of work, and she will in time im sure become hollywood royalty, but she has humility beyond The average and she has been taught to value money.

uk_grenada

They are all life skills...

Danny B

As soon as my children started earning money from part time jobs, they paid for 'upgrades'.
For example if my Daughter goes over her 3GB of cellphone data (that we pay for) and incurs an additional charge, she pays for the extra $10 or $20. Now she rarely goes over.

We obviously buy all the essential things a child needs in life, but one month she decided she needed a GoPro. She saved and she bought it with her own money. I think it is very important to teach children money managing skills. Last thing I want is a child moved out of home and up to their eyes in debt because they didn't realise you had to pay back a credit card.

As for housework, she keeps her room tidy and helps with the drying up but that's about it. Occasionally cleans the cat litter

Oink

That's nothing. I remember opening the wrong mail from the family across the road and both their children (13-14) had $75 million each of their names in Connecticut state bonds alone. That was 1989.

Danny B

I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that you don't have children....yet.

Kids in my days were never at home to mess up the house, we were always out playing on our bikes and had to be dragged inside. My Mum never got me to tidy up someone else's mess, only my own.

Kids these days are at home all the time and leave their crap everywhere. Why should the parents clean up after them all the time?