Sorry
 

Ok dont ask why but a variation on an old joke just flashed thru my mind................................. are you all ready......................................


Grow your own dope









Plant a Newfie

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Ooookay that just flew over the top of my head. :D

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Revised version:

Grow your own dope









Plant someone from Stafford

:D :D :D

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You are sooo funny my sides are splitting :p :D

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Did you hear about the Newf who was standing in his front yard watching his house burn down.

His neighbor runs up in a huge panic and says aren't you going to do something, call the fire department, get a hose, try to get some of your stuff out, something!!!!

The Newf calmly looks at his neighbor and says it's alright I've got enough wood in the attic to build another one. :D:D

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Like it Like it.

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Where is eddie with his dirty jokes.....! ;)

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There is a new study out about women and how they feel about their asses.

I thought the results were pretty interesting:

25% of women think their ass is too fat...

10% of women think their ass is too skinny...

The other 65% say that they don't care; they love him, he's a good man, and they would have married him anyway. :D:D:D

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How does a Newfie take a shower?


By pissing into the wind.

Happy Canada Day :D

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ahem......football pitches and women.....similarities

A waterlogged pitch can be unplayable for approximately 5 days per month.
This amount of time can, of course, be extended by continually harassing the pitch owner to let you play up the good end.

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Sue not a dirty one, no offence meant BTW to blondes

A blonde is driving along a deserted country road with fields on either
side. She looks out the window and sees another blonde in the middle of a
field, in a rowboat, rowing and rowing.
She stops the car, rolls down the window and yells, "You know it's
blondes like you who give the rest of us blondes a bad name!"
Getting no reaction from the blonde in the rowboat, she screams,
"If I could swim I'd come out there and punch your lights out!"

A brunette, a redhead and a blonde were camping when they ran out of food.
The brunette went out hunting and came back the next morning with a deer.
How did you get that? asked the redhead.
Well, said the brunette found the tracks, followed the tracks,
shot the deer.
The next night the redhead went hunting.
The next morning she came back with a bear.
How did you get that? asked the blonde.
Found the tracks, followed the tracks,
shot the bear, said the redhead.
The third night the blonde went out and the next morning
she came back brusied, bloody, and clothes torn.
What happened said the brunette? The blonde
replied, found the tracks, followed the tracks,
got hit by the train


BOOM BOOM as my mate Basil would often say

Eddie

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Well, it's not a mid-life crisis, but here's how things worked out for me.


Married 25 years, took a look at my wife one day and said, "Honey, 25 years ago, We had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10 inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 25 year old blond.


Now, we have a nice house, nice car, big bed and plasma screen TV, but I'm sleeping with a 50 year old woman. It seems to me that you are not holding up your side of things."


My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot 25 year old blond, and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap apartment, driving a cheap car, watching a cheap TV, and be sleeping on a sofa bed.

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A Newfoundland woman "of a certain age", visited her physician to ask his help in reviving her husband's poor sex drive.

"What about trying Viagra?", asks the doctor.

"Oh, no, doctor, I couldn't do dat," she said. "He won't even take an aspirin."

"Not a problem," replied the doctor. "Drop it into his coffee. He won't even taste it. Give it a try and call me in a week to let me know how things went."

It wasn't a week later, that she called the doctor, who directly inquired as to progress.

The poor dear exclaimed, "Oh jaysus mary and joseph, doctor, twas horrid. Just terrible!"

"Really? What happened?" asked the doctor.

"Well, I did like you said and slipped it into his coffee, la? De effect was almost immediate. He jumped hisself straight up, with a twinkle in his eye, and with his pants a-bulging something fierce! With one swoop of his arm he sent the cups and tablecloth flying, ripped me clothes to tatters and then, lard tunder and jaysus, didn't he take me right then and there, making wild, mad, passionate love to me on the tabletop! It was a nightmare, I tell you!"

"Why so terrible?", asked the doctor. "Do you mean the sex was not good?"

"No, no, no, Doctor. The sex was fine. Indeed, 'twas the best sex I had in 25 years. But, oh me son, I'll never be able to show me face in Tim Horton's ever again!"

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At least that wont be happening to You and Mrs Hangman. ;)

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Not in the foreseeable future. :(