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So is this what 'homesickness' feels like?.....

So is this what 'homesickness' feels like?.....

Old Jun 13th 2020, 11:49 pm
  #61  
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Default Re: So is this what 'homesickness' feels like?.....

Originally Posted by Former Lancastrian View Post
So do others. I just think it is him doing his thing now that his sidekick/partner in crime or whatever has left Canada and splitting their time between France and the UK.
I think you are referring to my primary ex-wife who lives in Switzerland and who has a holiday place in France. We typically meet every couple of years at my mother's house in England. The ex moved to Switzerland because our daughter, who is disabled, aged out of the support system in Canada. In Switzerland the state is ultimately responsible for her care. I am here, in Canada, because the income potential and generous tax system allow me to support them while running numerous cars and keeping some horses.

Originally Posted by Former Lancastrian View Post
Who am I to judge.
No one. No one at all.
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Old Jun 14th 2020, 1:48 am
  #62  
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Default Re: So is this what 'homesickness' feels like?.....

Originally Posted by dbd33 View Post
I think you are referring to my primary ex-wife who lives in Switzerland and who has a holiday place in France. We typically meet every couple of years at my mother's house in England. The ex moved to Switzerland because our daughter, who is disabled, aged out of the support system in Canada. In Switzerland the state is ultimately responsible for her care. I am here, in Canada, because the income potential and generous tax system allow me to support them while running numerous cars and keeping some horses.



No one. No one at all.
No I wasn't referring to your ex wife but a certain poster still active on BE whose user name possibly begins with N and ends in N. All the reasons you give to remain in Canada make perfect sense to me. So in the spirit of harmony let's leave it at that.
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Old Jun 14th 2020, 1:51 am
  #63  
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Default Re: So is this what 'homesickness' feels like?.....

Originally Posted by Alex2201 View Post
I am not a cat lover but I am sure that I read somewhere that they do this because they think that you are a poor hunter and they are concerned you might starve.
I think that rumour was started by a cat, why they really do it is they love scaring the shite out of you
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Old Jun 14th 2020, 2:15 am
  #64  
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Default Re: So is this what 'homesickness' feels like?.....

Originally Posted by Former Lancastrian View Post
No I wasn't referring to your ex wife but a certain poster still active on BE whose user name possibly begins with N and ends in N. All the reasons you give to remain in Canada make perfect sense to me. So in the spirit of harmony let's leave it at that.
Oh, I see what you mean (thanks to some helpful hinting). I don't know what's become of the poster in question, I haven't seen him here for a while and I haven't seen him in person for years. Fair enough, let's move on.
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Old Jun 14th 2020, 2:27 am
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Default Re: So is this what 'homesickness' feels like?.....

Originally Posted by spouse of scouse View Post
At least they bring us the odd present. Dead mice, grasshoppers, nice presents like that.
We had this big orange cat when I was a kid, he was a big cat, but friendly towards humans, but chased dogs down the street, anyhow we had gophers in the area and in our yard, but as we had dogs and cats my parents didn't want to use poison as you never know if a pet will find it, but this orange cat would sit at the gopher hole for hours on end waiting, would refuse to even come in and eat when on the hunt, but a few times a week he would leave a gopher on the door step. The car refused to live inside, he would literally push the screen out to get outside so my parents finally gave up, but this cat had street smarts, he somehow managed to live 15 years outside 90% of the time, in a semi rural area filled with coyotes.

Never had another cat like that one, and his purr was so loud, could wake a sleeping giant with it. His named was Tiger because of his orange color and stripes.

We also had a dog that was obsessed with rocks, damn dog had a rock quarry in the back yard with all the rocks he dug up in his lifetime.
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Old Jun 14th 2020, 2:29 am
  #66  
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Default Re: So is this what 'homesickness' feels like?.....

Originally Posted by dbd33 View Post
I didn't say "Brit". I said something to the effect most people I have known in Canada ultimately went home. Some were British, they tend to leave in the first year or stay until retirement and then leave. Others are. or were. Lebanese, Chinese, nationals of Macao (dunno how to conjugate that), Hong Kong nationals, Indians, Turks, Ukrainians, all sorts. Some come, make enough to be affluent at home and go, so less than a decade but probably long enough to be citizens. Indians seem always to have one eye on the US and many go there.

I don't think even cradle Canadians retire here, unless things have gone badly wrong. They go to Florida or Arizona for half the year minus a day.
My mom lives in Palm Springs, in winter it almost feels like being in a warm version of BC with all the BC license plates and in winter time the airport looks like a Canadian hub at times with the Air Canada and Westjet aircraft generally out numbering US airlines.

My mom's complex September to April is full and active, but April to mid September its empty neighborhood, more than half the people are part-time winter residents, majority of them Canadian's.

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Old Jun 14th 2020, 2:33 am
  #67  
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Default Re: So is this what 'homesickness' feels like?.....

Originally Posted by Jsmth321 View Post
My mom lives in Palm Springs, in winter it almost feels like being in a warm version of BC with all the BC license plates and in winter time the airport looks like a Canadian hub at times with the Air Canada and Westjet aircraft generally out numbering US airlines.

My mom's complex September to April is full and active, but April to mid September its empty neighborhood, more than half the people are part-time winter residents, majority of them Canadian's.
I know someone here who has a seasonal place in Palm Springs. They're a tennis crazy family and Palm Springs seems to be a place for that.
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Old Jun 14th 2020, 3:48 am
  #68  
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Default Re: So is this what 'homesickness' feels like?.....

Originally Posted by Jsmth321 View Post
We had this big orange cat when I was a kid, he was a big cat, but friendly towards humans, but chased dogs down the street, anyhow we had gophers in the area and in our yard, but as we had dogs and cats my parents didn't want to use poison as you never know if a pet will find it, but this orange cat would sit at the gopher hole for hours on end waiting, would refuse to even come in and eat when on the hunt, but a few times a week he would leave a gopher on the door step. The car refused to live inside, he would literally push the screen out to get outside so my parents finally gave up, but this cat had street smarts, he somehow managed to live 15 years outside 90% of the time, in a semi rural area filled with coyotes.

Never had another cat like that one, and his purr was so loud, could wake a sleeping giant with it. His named was Tiger because of his orange color and stripes.

We also had a dog that was obsessed with rocks, damn dog had a rock quarry in the back yard with all the rocks he dug up in his lifetime.
Hahahaaaa, you sure had pets with character! I especially love that Tiger would chase dogs down the street I would have collapsed in a screaming heap if I'd seen a dead gopher on the doorstep though!
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Old Jun 14th 2020, 7:40 am
  #69  
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Default Re: So is this what 'homesickness' feels like?.....

Originally Posted by spouse of scouse View Post
Hahahaaaa, you sure had pets with character! I especially love that Tiger would chase dogs down the street I would have collapsed in a screaming heap if I'd seen a dead gopher on the doorstep though!
My mom seems to have the talent of picking pets with character, even now her dog and cat are both a little eccentric, how she does it, is a mystery....

Gophers were about the only thing he hunted, rare bird, or mouse, but he had this obsession with gophers. Despite being outdoors most of the day, he outlived the 2 indoor only cats we had by several years.
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Old Jun 14th 2020, 8:17 am
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Default Re: So is this what 'homesickness' feels like?.....

Originally Posted by Jsmth321 View Post
My mom seems to have the talent of picking pets with character, even now her dog and cat are both a little eccentric, how she does it, is a mystery....

Gophers were about the only thing he hunted, rare bird, or mouse, but he had this obsession with gophers. Despite being outdoors most of the day, he outlived the 2 indoor only cats we had by several years.
'Course he did. Raisond'être innit. Only reason my Dad managed as long as he did was hacking off supermarket staff. i hope I will be of the same stuff. You certainly are Mr CheekBones.

Said it before, quietly and on here, and I will say it again. I am really proud of you. Proud of you both.
---

Not meaning to distract from that homesickness thing at all. It is a horrid rotten feeling which I personally know first hand.
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Old Jun 14th 2020, 10:03 pm
  #71  
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Default Re: So is this what 'homesickness' feels like?.....

There can be, and I know of, the sort of thing that ‘we are in Canada’ which can basically equate to ‘now you are stuck’. Surely this happens frequently? It’s a long way...you can’t just leg it?
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Old Jun 14th 2020, 10:44 pm
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Default Re: So is this what 'homesickness' feels like?.....

Originally Posted by MillieF View Post
There can be, and I know of, the sort of thing that ‘we are in Canada’ which can basically equate to ‘now you are stuck’. Surely this happens frequently? It’s a long way...you can’t just leg it?

Yeah. Same for New Zealand I feel. You cannot just 'go home'.
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Old Jun 15th 2020, 1:13 pm
  #73  
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Default Re: So is this what 'homesickness' feels like?.....

Originally Posted by no good name View Post
I can be distracted for a while (TV, Movie, ect)
then I will hear a canadian accent outside the house and boom... a feeling of 'dread', 'sadness' comes over me.

I'll be in my overpriced rental, I will walk to the kitchen sink, look out the window at the street outside which after 4 years I still feel disconnected to and boom.... that feeling....

I will be sitting in a group, whether at work or social gathering, they will be acting in a way or talking about things I just dont relate to, boom that feeling of detachment....

I'll be driving, listening to a radio station, daydreaming listening to a song, it finishes, the presenter starts talking in that canadian accent, and boom.... im reminded of where I am...

On the occasions I have visited back home. I will have that feeling of 'returning' to where I should be. Similar to that feeling you get when you have had a holiday in the sun, and although most would say that is great, but "it will be nice to get back to my own bed"...
My tale to tell is that I lived in calgary for 5 years, and I was terribly homesick but couldnt admit it to my husband, as I had initated the move from the Uk. We couldn,tt watch the bbc, or have fb messaenger, of bbc radio in that time, I am sure that would have helped. And I thought I was going to be in calgary forever, I think that made it worse. We moved back to the Uk, all settled, then moved back to Toronto, but we see this as temporary, not sold our house in the uk, and daughter living over in the Uk, I will be back in about 18 months, and I have the bbc, ITV, channel 4 etc, that all helps. I don,t get homesick as much... So I think its the thinking of always being in canda that was just too hard for me.. And toronto suits us much better than calgary, the weather just beat me down there.
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Old Jun 15th 2020, 5:57 pm
  #74  
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Default Re: So is this what 'homesickness' feels like?.....

This is more than homesickness . It sounds to me that you and your wife are on different paths. The kids being settled is an excuse, people move their kids all the time. She knows how unhappy you are and won't budge to help you. You know all this. It's harsh I know. Put yourself first and make steps for your mental wellbeing.

Last edited by bats; Jun 15th 2020 at 6:00 pm.
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Old Jun 17th 2020, 8:51 am
  #75  
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Default Re: So is this what 'homesickness' feels like?.....

Originally Posted by bats View Post
This is more than homesickness . It sounds to me that you and your wife are on different paths. The kids being settled is an excuse, people move their kids all the time. She knows how unhappy you are and won't budge to help you. You know all this. It's harsh I know. Put yourself first and make steps for your mental wellbeing.
I don't think it's that simple. People do move kids all the time, but usually when they are both on board. When one views the kids as being in a really good place (figuratively) and the other is ambivalent about it, then it's a serious difference on what's best.


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