dbd33

I think you are referring to my primary ex-wife who lives in Switzerland and who has a holiday place in France. We typically meet every couple of years at my mother's house in England. The ex moved to Switzerland because our daughter, who is disabled, aged out of the support system in Canada. In Switzerland the state is ultimately responsible for her care. I am here, in Canada, because the income potential and generous tax system allow me to support them while running numerous cars and keeping some horses.

No one. No one at all.

Former Lancastrian

No I wasn't referring to your ex wife but a certain poster still active on BE whose user name possibly begins with N and ends in N. All the reasons you give to remain in Canada make perfect sense to me. So in the spirit of harmony let's leave it at that.

spouse of scouse

I think that rumour was started by a cat, why they really do it is they love scaring the shite out of you

dbd33

Oh, I see what you mean (thanks to some helpful hinting). I don't know what's become of the poster in question, I haven't seen him here for a while and I haven't seen him in person for years. Fair enough, let's move on.

scrubbedexpat091

We had this big orange cat when I was a kid, he was a big cat, but friendly towards humans, but chased dogs down the street, anyhow we had gophers in the area and in our yard, but as we had dogs and cats my parents didn't want to use poison as you never know if a pet will find it, but this orange cat would sit at the gopher hole for hours on end waiting, would refuse to even come in and eat when on the hunt, but a few times a week he would leave a gopher on the door step. The car refused to live inside, he would literally push the screen out to get outside so my parents finally gave up, but this cat had street smarts, he somehow managed to live 15 years outside 90% of the time, in a semi rural area filled with coyotes.

Never had another cat like that one, and his purr was so loud, could wake a sleeping giant with it. His named was Tiger because of his orange color and stripes.

We also had a dog that was obsessed with rocks, damn dog had a rock quarry in the back yard with all the rocks he dug up in his lifetime.

scrubbedexpat091

My mom lives in Palm Springs, in winter it almost feels like being in a warm version of BC with all the BC license plates and in winter time the airport looks like a Canadian hub at times with the Air Canada and Westjet aircraft generally out numbering US airlines.

My mom's complex September to April is full and active, but April to mid September its empty neighborhood, more than half the people are part-time winter residents, majority of them Canadian's.

dbd33

I know someone here who has a seasonal place in Palm Springs. They're a tennis crazy family and Palm Springs seems to be a place for that.

spouse of scouse

Hahahaaaa, you sure had pets with character! I especially love that Tiger would chase dogs down the street I would have collapsed in a screaming heap if I'd seen a dead gopher on the doorstep though!

scrubbedexpat091

My mom seems to have the talent of picking pets with character, even now her dog and cat are both a little eccentric, how she does it, is a mystery....

Gophers were about the only thing he hunted, rare bird, or mouse, but he had this obsession with gophers. Despite being outdoors most of the day, he outlived the 2 indoor only cats we had by several years.

BEVS

'Course he did. Raisond'être innit. Only reason my Dad managed as long as he did was hacking off supermarket staff. i hope I will be of the same stuff. You certainly are Mr CheekBones.

Said it before, quietly and on here, and I will say it again. I am really proud of you. Proud of you both.
---

Not meaning to distract from that homesickness thing at all. It is a horrid rotten feeling which I personally know first hand.

MillieF

There can be, and I know of, the sort of thing that ‘we are in Canada’ which can basically equate to ‘now you are stuck’. Surely this happens frequently? It’s a long way...you can’t just leg it?

BEVS

Yeah. Same for New Zealand I feel. You cannot just 'go home'.

susanmountain

My tale to tell is that I lived in calgary for 5 years, and I was terribly homesick but couldnt admit it to my husband, as I had initated the move from the Uk. We couldn,tt watch the bbc, or have fb messaenger, of bbc radio in that time, I am sure that would have helped. And I thought I was going to be in calgary forever, I think that made it worse. We moved back to the Uk, all settled, then moved back to Toronto, but we see this as temporary, not sold our house in the uk, and daughter living over in the Uk, I will be back in about 18 months, and I have the bbc, ITV, channel 4 etc, that all helps. I don,t get homesick as much... So I think its the thinking of always being in canda that was just too hard for me.. And toronto suits us much better than calgary, the weather just beat me down there.

bats

This is more than homesickness . It sounds to me that you and your wife are on different paths. The kids being settled is an excuse, people move their kids all the time. She knows how unhappy you are and won't budge to help you. You know all this. It's harsh I know. Put yourself first and make steps for your mental wellbeing.

Shard

I don't think it's that simple. People do move kids all the time, but usually when they are both on board. When one views the kids as being in a really good place (figuratively) and the other is ambivalent about it, then it's a serious difference on what's best.