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-   -   So is this what 'homesickness' feels like?..... (https://britishexpats.com/forum/maple-leaf-98/so-what-homesickness-feels-like-933054/)

no good name Jun 6th 2020 11:37 pm

So is this what 'homesickness' feels like?.....
 
I can be distracted for a while (TV, Movie, ect)
then I will hear a canadian accent outside the house and boom... a feeling of 'dread', 'sadness' comes over me.

I'll be in my overpriced rental, I will walk to the kitchen sink, look out the window at the street outside which after 4 years I still feel disconnected to and boom.... that feeling....

I will be sitting in a group, whether at work or social gathering, they will be acting in a way or talking about things I just dont relate to, boom that feeling of detachment....

I'll be driving, listening to a radio station, daydreaming listening to a song, it finishes, the presenter starts talking in that canadian accent, and boom.... im reminded of where I am...

On the occasions I have visited back home. I will have that feeling of 'returning' to where I should be. Similar to that feeling you get when you have had a holiday in the sun, and although most would say that is great, but "it will be nice to get back to my own bed"...

HGerchikov Jun 6th 2020 11:49 pm

Re: So is this what 'homesickness' feels like?.....
 

Originally Posted by no good name (Post 12863012)
I can be distracted for a while (TV, Movie, ect)
then I will hear a canadian accent outside the house and boom... a feeling of 'dread', 'sadness' comes over me.

I'll be in my overpriced rental, I will walk to the kitchen sink, look out the window at the street outside which after 4 years I still feel disconnected to and boom.... that feeling....

I will be sitting in a group, whether at work or social gathering, they will be acting in a way or talking about things I just dont relate to, boom that feeling of detachment....

I'll be driving, listening to a radio station, daydreaming listening to a song, it finishes, the presenter starts talking in that canadian accent, and boom.... im reminded of where I am...

6th

You clearly are not happy here. Maybe you should.seriously look at your options for going 'home'.

dbd33 Jun 7th 2020 12:09 am

Re: So is this what 'homesickness' feels like?.....
 

Originally Posted by no good name (Post 12863012)
I can be distracted for a while (TV, Movie, ect)
then I will hear a canadian accent outside the house and boom... a feeling of 'dread', 'sadness' comes over me.

I'll be in my overpriced rental, I will walk to the kitchen sink, look out the window at the street outside which after 4 years I still feel disconnected to and boom.... that feeling....

I will be sitting in a group, whether at work or social gathering, they will be acting in a way or talking about things I just dont relate to, boom that feeling of detachment....

I'll be driving, listening to a radio station, daydreaming listening to a song, it finishes, the presenter starts talking in that canadian accent, and boom.... im reminded of where I am...

On the occasions I have visited back home. I will have that feeling of 'returning' to where I should be. Similar to that feeling you get when you have had a holiday in the sun, and although most would say that is great, but "it will be nice to get back to my own bed"...

I would like to make a more positive suggestion than Ms. Gerchikov. You can't fit in. You won't ever relate to whatever it is that interests Canadians, ice hockey, poutine, them pesky aboriginals. The culture is alien and the friends far away. Accept that and get Sirius in the car; then you can listen to the BBC.

MillieF Jun 7th 2020 1:24 am

Re: So is this what 'homesickness' feels like?.....
 

Originally Posted by dbd33 (Post 12863027)
I would like to make a more positive suggestion than Ms. Gerchikov. You can't fit in. You won't ever relate to whatever it is that interests Canadians, ice hockey, poutine, them pesky aboriginals. The culture is alien and the friends far away. Accept that and get Sirius in the car; then you can listen to the BBC.

I am in agreement with dbd....I married a Canadian 20 years ago, and love him to death...but the sound he makes is still not ‘the Today Programme’ . He will never understand when I come home and on a Friday night, and might occasionally, shout...”it’s Friday night, it’s 5 o’clock, and it’s Crackerjack” (nor, will lots of you who aren’t my age!).

It’s the same language but a completely different culture. I moved here, and it’s not their fault that I sometimes miss my past. Why try? If you can like it, and have peace and are winning - then it’s good. I often wonder how Asians and Africans and the whole diaspora of cultures that have arrived and settled here find mental stability, but they do, which speaks to Canadian inclusivity I think? I lived for a long time in ‘proper’ foreign cultures and I think it was easier, as I never expected to fit in...here because we are all speaking the same language I thought it might be easy...but it isn’t so I ‘think’ I’ve adapted. I just know it’s not so hard as it once was.

Former Lancastrian Jun 7th 2020 1:37 am

Re: So is this what 'homesickness' feels like?.....
 

Originally Posted by dbd33 (Post 12863027)
get Sirius in the car; then you can listen to the BBC.

Yeah but those pesky BBC announcers don't have a North West of England accent so how would that help me. Perhaps the OP is from there so how would it help him?

Partially discharged Jun 7th 2020 2:54 am

Re: So is this what 'homesickness' feels like?.....
 

Originally Posted by no good name (Post 12863012)
I'll be driving, listening to a radio station, daydreaming listening to a song, it finishes, the presenter starts talking in that canadian accent, and boom.... im reminded of where I am...

The problem is you're listening to Canadian radio which other than some university radio stations, and some cbc programmes is a vast wasteland of 'the best of yesterday with the hits of today' '90 minute rock rides' 'no repeat Tuesday's' or 'morning zoo crew' shows.

Radio 4 or 5 or 6 or the World Service will help you try to pretend you're not living in Cana

dbd33 Jun 7th 2020 4:01 am

Re: So is this what 'homesickness' feels like?.....
 

Originally Posted by Partially discharged (Post 12863067)
The problem is you're listening to Canadian radio

The broader problem is that the immigrant trade has failed in the case of the OP. It's supposed to be that you give up your friends, family and culture and you gain lots of consumer durables,

When we came we were in Port Credit, which like Oakville, is a dormitory town for Toronto. We were poor and it wasn't much of a place but it was easy to see that, since a house cost a bit more than a year's salary, it wouldn't be long before we could have a house and a ride on lawn mower and, perhaps, a central vac. Houses in London then cost, at least, ten times a year's salary so the arithmetic was simple. At the time I felt guilty that I was taking the soft option, someone with talent wouldn't need to go to a secondary economy, but I was happy enough to take the small pond option.

Now the equation is quite different, Even if you're willing to take the ego hit of moving to the colonies, the benefits aren't there. Houses are quite expensive even in Oakville and the reason for moving there is that they be cheap. There's no longer a reason to go.



Jsmth321 Jun 7th 2020 4:35 am

Re: So is this what 'homesickness' feels like?.....
 

Originally Posted by dbd33 (Post 12863082)
The broader problem is that the immigrant trade has failed in the case of the OP. It's supposed to be that you give up your friends, family and culture and you gain lots of consumer durables,

When we came we were in Port Credit, which like Oakville, is a dormitory town for Toronto. We were poor and it wasn't much of a place but it was easy to see that, since a house cost a bit more than a year's salary, it wouldn't be long before we could have a house and a ride on lawn mower and, perhaps, a central vac. Houses in London then cost, at least, ten times a year's salary so the arithmetic was simple. At the time I felt guilty that I was taking the soft option, someone with talent wouldn't need to go to a secondary economy, but I was happy enough to take the small pond option.

Now the equation is quite different, Even if you're willing to take the ego hit of moving to the colonies, the benefits aren't there. Houses are quite expensive even in Oakville and the reason for moving there is that they be cheap. There's no longer a reason to go.

Well the cost of housing in more and more areas of Canada likely does make it harder and less ideal for new arrivals.It's bad when the "cheaper" city's an hour away from the big city is still not exactly cheap nor affordable. But then 500,000 is cheaper than 1 million so I guess technically speaking those areas are cheaper, just not affordable really.

I do think if I could have maintained my quality of life of California in Canada, I may have adapted to Canada better than I did.

tooboocoo Jun 7th 2020 1:03 pm

Re: So is this what 'homesickness' feels like?.....
 

Originally Posted by Jsmth321 (Post 12863091)
I do think if I could have maintained my quality of life of California in Canada, I may have adapted to Canada better than I did.

Well, umm, yes, that is quite likely true for most people!

tooboocoo Jun 7th 2020 1:07 pm

Re: So is this what 'homesickness' feels like?.....
 

Originally Posted by dbd33 (Post 12863082)
Now the equation is quite different, Even if you're willing to take the ego hit of moving to the colonies, the benefits aren't there. Houses are quite expensive even in Oakville and the reason for moving there is that they be cheap. There's no longer a reason to go.

Although you have a wacky way of putting things, 100% correct. The 'golden age' for moving to Canada (for 1st-worlders) ended sometime in the '90s.

no good name Jun 7th 2020 2:14 pm

Re: So is this what 'homesickness' feels like?.....
 

Originally Posted by tooboocoo (Post 12863226)
Although you have a wacky way of putting things, 100% correct. The 'golden age' for moving to Canada (for 1st-worlders) ended sometime in the '90s.

Fully agree

no good name Jun 7th 2020 2:17 pm

Re: So is this what 'homesickness' feels like?.....
 
Just curious as to why this thread was moved ?

MillieF Jun 7th 2020 8:15 pm

Re: So is this what 'homesickness' feels like?.....
 
Well I’m not a mod, but I would have thought it was a Maple Leaf thread. I thought the Canada bit was for more generalized Canadian queries...When you are in the Maple Leaf, you have realized you love the place, hate it, hate the price of cheese or are on a ‘rollercoaster” of indecision...:blink:

Something odd which did occur to me; I’ve become much more used to the sound of the language, I do stop and think now, are they English, or Canadian, as it washes over me... I think it’s assimilation? Or the onset of hearing difficulties...

Shard Jun 7th 2020 8:19 pm

Re: So is this what 'homesickness' feels like?.....
 

Originally Posted by MillieF (Post 12863046)

It’s the same language but a completely different culture. I moved here, and it’s not their fault that I sometimes miss my past. Why try? If you can like it, and have peace and are winning - then it’s good. I often wonder how Asians and Africans and the whole diaspora of cultures that have arrived and settled here find mental stability, but they do, which speaks to Canadian inclusivity I think? I lived for a long time in ‘proper’ foreign cultures and I think it was easier, as I never expected to fit in...here because we are all speaking the same language I thought it might be easy...but it isn’t so I ‘think’ I’ve adapted. I just know it’s not so hard as it once was.

You seem to have answered your own question Millie.

OP I tend to agree with HG, you don't seem to be happy, you should consider a return to where you are more comfortable.

no good name Jun 7th 2020 8:38 pm

Re: So is this what 'homesickness' feels like?.....
 

Originally Posted by Shard (Post 12863402)

OP I tend to agree with HG, you don't seem to be happy, you should consider a return to where you are more comfortable.

I wish it was that simple. I really do.


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