Returning to What You Know
Dec 3rd 2017, 5:06 pm
#16
Yo
Joined: Nov 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 24,474
Re: Returning to What You Know
Absolutely.
Especially since the OP is planning on living in Canada for the next 20 years.
After my husband of 23 years (Canadian, like me) and I separated I said that the 3 things I would avoid when dating: Older than I am(my ex was 4 years younger), tradie and being British. Well, it seems I hit the trifecta with my current partner. He's not much older - only 6 months, he's a diesel mechanic who up until recently worked in the mines here in Western Australia, and he's from Middlesborough originally. If I had restricted myself to my rather ridiculous criteria then I never would have been in a great relationship with a great guy who makes me laugh every day, and laughs both with and at me every day.
As someone else said, after the breakup of your marriage you're in a bad place emotionally. Homesickness kicks in and it's not easy to see the bigger picture. Give it some time and maybe a visit back to the UK and most importantly take care of yourself.
Especially since the OP is planning on living in Canada for the next 20 years.
After my husband of 23 years (Canadian, like me) and I separated I said that the 3 things I would avoid when dating: Older than I am(my ex was 4 years younger), tradie and being British. Well, it seems I hit the trifecta with my current partner. He's not much older - only 6 months, he's a diesel mechanic who up until recently worked in the mines here in Western Australia, and he's from Middlesborough originally. If I had restricted myself to my rather ridiculous criteria then I never would have been in a great relationship with a great guy who makes me laugh every day, and laughs both with and at me every day.
As someone else said, after the breakup of your marriage you're in a bad place emotionally. Homesickness kicks in and it's not easy to see the bigger picture. Give it some time and maybe a visit back to the UK and most importantly take care of yourself.
Dec 3rd 2017, 6:01 pm
#17
Oscar nominated
Joined: Jan 2008
Location: Moncton, NB, CANADA
Posts: 50,763
Dec 3rd 2017, 11:19 pm
#19
Assimilated Pauper
Joined: Mar 2005
Location: Ontario
Posts: 40,018
Re: Returning to What You Know
I've been married to, or had a sustained relationship, equivalent to marriage in Canadian law, with, a Swiss, a Newfie, an American and an Irish person. I've lived for a couple of years each with people of other nationalities including, at one point, an English one. I have not been able to conclude anything related to nationality but I have determined that the key to wealth is domestic stability.
Dec 4th 2017, 12:10 am
#20
Oscar nominated
Joined: Jan 2008
Location: Moncton, NB, CANADA
Posts: 50,763
Dec 4th 2017, 3:24 am
#21
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Feb 2013
Location: BC, Canada
Posts: 3,874
Re: Returning to What You Know
The lack of knowledge of a partner's early life doesn't only apply to different nationalities or countries!
and I don't really think it should be used as so much of an excuse for the breakdown in a relationship.
OH and I didn't meet until we were 19 and 21, at university. We were raised in very different areas of England, and had very different childhoods. Even after well over 50 years, it is still difficult sometimes to understand each other's childhoods.
I was the second child, with a brother who was so much older that we never actually had childhood holidays together. Brother left school at 14 and was apprenticing for the next 7+ years, married by the time I was 12, and I was babysitting his first child less than a year later.
OH was the elder child, and almost as much older than his sister as my brother had been, but he had more of a childhood with her than I'd had.
I grew up in a Lancashire cotton mill town, easy access to the moors but grim and grimy streets and buildings, and hard scrabble farming.
He grew up in a country town in Cheshire, close to a farming community, even worked on a farm in summer holidays.
His parents were professionals, my father was a foundry worker and then a foreman.
As different as chalk and cheese.
You just have to make it work, and forge your own traditions etc!
and I don't really think it should be used as so much of an excuse for the breakdown in a relationship.
OH and I didn't meet until we were 19 and 21, at university. We were raised in very different areas of England, and had very different childhoods. Even after well over 50 years, it is still difficult sometimes to understand each other's childhoods.
I was the second child, with a brother who was so much older that we never actually had childhood holidays together. Brother left school at 14 and was apprenticing for the next 7+ years, married by the time I was 12, and I was babysitting his first child less than a year later.
OH was the elder child, and almost as much older than his sister as my brother had been, but he had more of a childhood with her than I'd had.
I grew up in a Lancashire cotton mill town, easy access to the moors but grim and grimy streets and buildings, and hard scrabble farming.
He grew up in a country town in Cheshire, close to a farming community, even worked on a farm in summer holidays.
His parents were professionals, my father was a foundry worker and then a foreman.
As different as chalk and cheese.
You just have to make it work, and forge your own traditions etc!
Dec 4th 2017, 6:43 pm
#22
Seasoned Maritimer
Joined: Jun 2005
Location: Fredericton, New Brunswick CA
Posts: 8,309
Re: Returning to What You Know
The lack of knowledge of a partner's early life doesn't only apply to different nationalities or countries!
and I don't really think it should be used as so much of an excuse for the breakdown in a relationship.
OH and I didn't meet until we were 19 and 21, at university. We were raised in very different areas of England, and had very different childhoods. Even after well over 50 years, it is still difficult sometimes to understand each other's childhoods.
I was the second child, with a brother who was so much older that we never actually had childhood holidays together. Brother left school at 14 and was apprenticing for the next 7+ years, married by the time I was 12, and I was babysitting his first child less than a year later.
OH was the elder child, and almost as much older than his sister as my brother had been, but he had more of a childhood with her than I'd had.
I grew up in a Lancashire cotton mill town, easy access to the moors but grim and grimy streets and buildings, and hard scrabble farming.
He grew up in a country town in Cheshire, close to a farming community, even worked on a farm in summer holidays.
His parents were professionals, my father was a foundry worker and then a foreman.
As different as chalk and cheese.
You just have to make it work, and forge your own traditions etc!
and I don't really think it should be used as so much of an excuse for the breakdown in a relationship.
OH and I didn't meet until we were 19 and 21, at university. We were raised in very different areas of England, and had very different childhoods. Even after well over 50 years, it is still difficult sometimes to understand each other's childhoods.
I was the second child, with a brother who was so much older that we never actually had childhood holidays together. Brother left school at 14 and was apprenticing for the next 7+ years, married by the time I was 12, and I was babysitting his first child less than a year later.
OH was the elder child, and almost as much older than his sister as my brother had been, but he had more of a childhood with her than I'd had.
I grew up in a Lancashire cotton mill town, easy access to the moors but grim and grimy streets and buildings, and hard scrabble farming.
He grew up in a country town in Cheshire, close to a farming community, even worked on a farm in summer holidays.
His parents were professionals, my father was a foundry worker and then a foreman.
As different as chalk and cheese.
You just have to make it work, and forge your own traditions etc!
Dec 4th 2017, 7:23 pm
#23
Proudly Scarberian
Joined: Aug 2014
Location: Scarberia
Posts: 2,196
Re: Returning to What You Know
