Patriotic Retirement Plan (UK)
 

Dear Mr. Cameron,

Please find below our suggestion for fixing the UK's economy.

Instead of giving billions of pounds to banks that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan.

You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:

There are about 10 million people over 50 in the work force.

Pay them £1 million each severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:

1) They MUST retire.
Ten million job openings - unemployment fixed

2) They MUST buy a new British car.
Ten million cars ordered - Car Industry fixed

3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage -
Housing Crisis fixed

4) They MUST send their kids to school/college/university -
Crime rate fixed

5) They MUST buy £100 WORTH of alcohol/tobacco a week .....
And there's your money back in duty/tax etc

It can't get any easier than that!

P.S. If more money is needed, have all members of parliament pay back their falsely claimed expenses and second home allowances

If you think this would work, please forward to everyone you know.

Also.....
Let's put the pensioners in jail and the criminals in a nursing home.

This way the pensioners would have access to showers, hobbies and walks.

They'd receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical treatment, wheel chairs etc and they'd receive money instead of paying it out.

They would have constant video monitoring, so they could be helped instantly, if they fell, or needed assistance.

Bedding would be washed twice a week, and all clothing would be ironed and returned to them.

A guard would check on them every 20 minutes and bring their meals and snacks to their cell.

They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose.

They would have access to a library, weight room, spiritual counselling, pool and education.

Simple clothing, shoes, slippers, PJ's and legal aid would be free, on request.

Private, secure rooms for all, with an exercise outdoor yard, with gardens.

Each senior could have a PC a TV radio and daily phone calls.

There would be a board of directors to hear complaints, and the guards would have a code of conduct that would be strictly adhered to.

The criminals would get cold food, be left all alone and unsupervised. Lights off at 8pm, and showers once a week. Live in a tiny room and pay £600.00 per week and have no hope of ever getting out.

Think about this (more points of contention):

COWS
Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Appleby almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the county of Cumbria?

And, they even tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 125,000 illegal immigrants wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each of them a cow.

Re: Patriotic Retirement Plan (UK)
 

Not bad but someone will point out the plagerism in your post :lol:

Re: Patriotic Retirement Plan (UK)
 

Possibly even the spelling in yours, it's plagiarism.

Re: Patriotic Retirement Plan (UK)
 

ooh sorry :o .... probably should have posted that it was an email I received that day .... I never meant it to be construed as my own work :)

Re: Patriotic Retirement Plan (UK)
 

I just used this link to spell it :lol:

http://blog.plagiarisma.net/2011/col...ck-techniques/

Re: Patriotic Retirement Plan (UK)
 

Interesting. Plagerism doesn't appear in the Chambers or Oxford Dictionaries, even as an alternative spelling.

Re: Patriotic Retirement Plan (UK)
 

I know isnt the internet a wonderful resource to help get you out of making a spelling mistake and admitting it :rofl:

Re: Patriotic Retirement Plan (UK)
 

Here's some news for you. There are lots of idiots posting blogs on the internet. The one you linked to uses the correct spelling, "plagiarism" once in the title, followed closely by "plagarism" in the same title, then plagerism throughout. This indicates that the blogger is an idiot and therefore folk quoting him should beware of being tarred with same brush.

Re: Patriotic Retirement Plan (UK)
 

Or the owner of the website wants google to find it no matter how shit the spelling of the person doing the search is.

Re: Patriotic Retirement Plan (UK)
 

That is a possibility. Some years ago I accidentally googled the atrocious misspelling "Antartic" and there were thousands of hits.

Edit: I just did it again for fun, and it appears google has now a built in spell checker for the search terms. So I did it again for plagerism; same thing.

Conclusion: we have our own idiot on the forum.

Re: Patriotic Retirement Plan (UK)
 

I wouldnt call you an idiot for doing it again what was that famous quote again about doing the same thing and expecting different results :lol:

Or is your cop out I just did it again for fun ?

Re: Patriotic Retirement Plan (UK)
 

Just a quick observation: When I reach your age I hope I have more in my life than the ability to criticize others to make me feel important;)

Re: Patriotic Retirement Plan (UK)
 

You only say that because it's your day job;)

Re: Patriotic Retirement Plan (UK)
 

Well, there's a question, what does make you feel important?

I don't think anything makes me feel important, nor should it.

Re: Patriotic Retirement Plan (UK)
 

He wrote this ^^^^^^^