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Life's Turning-Points

Life's Turning-Points

Old Sep 25th 2022, 5:14 am
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Piff Poff. I look in with the hope that something has improved or been solved somehow. Not sure what but something.

Bats. Best wishes to you and yours . That your OH heals well .

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Old Sep 25th 2022, 5:17 am
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Originally Posted by Gordon Barlow
I said last week (#98 above) that my next Turning Point would be my last. .
Gordon - I am not sure you intended your thread to take this turn. I shall wish that your next turning point is the one before last - to be with your son and family. In answer to your question - MrBEVS and I have no offspring. Just ourselves. We have simple no fuss or frills arrangements in place. Asstd dying is possible here in NZ. I am for this.

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Old Sep 25th 2022, 12:30 pm
  #108  
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Originally Posted by Gordon Barlow
I said last week (#98 above) that my next Turning Point would be my last. I hope to go quietly and of course without pain - or as little as can be managed. Linda and I had both signed up with the Dignitas place in Switzerland, but when the end is near there are certain things that have to be done, and there just wasn't time for me to do them. I have my "DNR" instructions in an envelope on the fridge door - and my main instruction is "Don't send me to a hospital in the US"! I don't trust them at all. They have the reputation - here, at least - of not letting a patient go until the money runs out. I'd be interested in knowing if anybody agrees with that.

I've told my son not to give me a funeral. I'm not a believer, so there won't be a church service. Linda was, so I had a memorial service for her, and a reception in the church hall, three weeks after she died; But there was no funeral - just a cremation, without ceremony.
When my daughter was dying she reached the point where she knew that continuing to suffer would not lead to an affirmative conclusion. She said she had had enough. Her exact words were "I'm done."

They gave her a small test to determine she was lucid and aware of her actions. An injection to help her cope with the pain when they disconnected the machines and she slipped away.

A DNR on the refrigerator door is not enough. Have a wallet size card produced and laminated and put it in your wallet and give your instructions to your doctor. You can also where a bracelet with DNR engraved on it.

Blessings.
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Old Sep 25th 2022, 9:03 pm
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Originally Posted by BEVS
Piff Poff. I look in with the hope that something has improved or been solved somehow. Not sure what but something.

Bats. Best wishes to you and yours . That your OH heals well .
ah Bev, thank you for thinking of us. I go from copi g to a ball of mess in a matter of hours. He still won't talk about things. In such denial. We've just had a failed trip to Vancouver, he is wiped out and asked why I'm not. I just said I'm not the one with Chronic Kidney Disease. We see our financial advisor tomorrow hopefully that will bring it home a touch more.
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Old Sep 29th 2022, 6:31 pm
  #110  
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Our hearts must all go out to those who have lost their children, more than any other loss. Linda and I were very close to losing our son in his early-to-mid twenties, twenty or so years ago. I still can't talk about it to friends without choking up.

I didn't mean this thread take that turn, BEVS, but it is what it is, I guess. Not all of Life's Turning Points are harmless. And of course turning-points in general can be quite mundane - taking this bus instead of that one, or (in my travelling days) one road instead of another. Well off the beaten track in Turkey, back in the day, Linda and I had to choose which of two rock-strewn roads to take in my VW Beetle. Naturally, we chose the one with the fewer rocks, but after a hundred yards or so we realised we were on the bed of a dry creek. We (well, I...) swore mightily and gingerly turned around and took our chances with the other one. For the next couple of months we pumped our tubeless tyres up first thing every morning. She still married me, a year later, so my reaction to the wrong turning back in Turkey didn't do any lasting damage. Even to the car, really.
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Old Oct 2nd 2022, 10:47 pm
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Originally Posted by Rete
A DNR on the refrigerator door is not enough. Have a wallet size card produced and laminated and put it in your wallet and give your instructions to your doctor. You can also where a bracelet with DNR engraved on it.
You're right of course, Rete. I have given our local hospital a copy, which they have in their A & E records. I think I gave another copy to my doctor, but I'd better check that. I need to up-date my Last Will and Testament anyway, so thanks for your nudge, Rete. Does everyone visiting this thread know what a DNR is? It's a US term, I think, standing for "Do Not Resuscitate". If I recall correctly, the British term is "Living Will". It is useful for doctors and ambulance people to know what their patient wants done when he or she is in no position to tell them. It doesn't amount to a licence to kill (!), just "not to strive, officiously, to keep alive". When there is a realistic option.
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Old Oct 3rd 2022, 1:20 am
  #112  
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Originally Posted by Gordon Barlow
You're right of course, Rete. I have given our local hospital a copy, which they have in their A & E records. I think I gave another copy to my doctor, but I'd better check that. I need to up-date my Last Will and Testament anyway, so thanks for your nudge, Rete. Does everyone visiting this thread know what a DNR is? It's a US term, I think, standing for "Do Not Resuscitate". If I recall correctly, the British term is "Living Will". It is useful for doctors and ambulance people to know what their patient wants done when he or she is in no position to tell them. It doesn't amount to a licence to kill (!), just "not to strive, officiously, to keep alive". When there is a realistic option.
DNR is a medical term that works in English speaking countries. It's put in your notes/chart, can all so be "Not for Resus".

What you are talking about is an advance directive that outlines the type of care you want. You can also nominate someone to make decisions about your care when you are not capable of doing so.

Last edited by bats; Oct 3rd 2022 at 1:27 am.
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Old Oct 4th 2022, 12:29 am
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Originally Posted by bats
DNR is a medical term that works in English speaking countries. It's put in your notes/chart, can all so be "Not for Resus".

What you are talking about is an advance directive that outlines the type of care you want. You can also nominate someone to make decisions about your care when you are not capable of doing so.
We are in the process of doing all that at the moment.

Hubs and I had a good chat this weekend. He's had to tell a couple of people the situation, so I think it's sinking in.
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Old Oct 4th 2022, 2:18 pm
  #114  
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Originally Posted by Piff Poff
We are in the process of doing all that at the moment.

Hubs and I had a good chat this weekend. He's had to tell a couple of people the situation, so I think it's sinking in.
That's good. If you can access a MyChart account, I don't know if if that's an Alberta thing too but it's your medical records from various hospitals online, there's a section for your care wishes.

You'll get there. We've decided we are moving back, as long as the exchange rate stays as is we can do it.
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Old Oct 7th 2022, 8:22 pm
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I wonder how many of us know how and why our parents got together. After all, if they hadn't met, we wouldn't be here. Or we would be somebody else, and - er, well... I'm not quite sure how that works... But you know what I mean.

Usually, I think, it's some kind of fluke that brings couples together. My Mum was a staid and scholarly type, who went on a weekend visit to a tourist-town up in the hills one time, with her younger brother as a chaperon. At the end of a train journey, a bank of taxis carried passengers for the last hour or so, and Dad happened to be in the same taxi as them. He was a tearaway, on his way back to his parents' home after an all-night party. He and she kissed on parting, she told me. They married a year later, and she went to live with him and his brother in a one-room (!) home-made shack miles from civilisation. Not an ideal beginning, but theirs was a blissfully happy life together. They got lucky.
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Old Oct 9th 2022, 3:14 am
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Originally Posted by bats
That's good. If you can access a MyChart account, I don't know if if that's an Alberta thing too but it's your medical records from various hospitals online, there's a section for your care wishes.

You'll get there. We've decided we are moving back, as long as the exchange rate stays as is we can do it.
​​​​
the ostrich has lifted his head! He is talking about things, we've had conversations with various people, we have a game plan of sorts.
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Old Oct 9th 2022, 5:28 am
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Originally Posted by Piff Poff
the ostrich has lifted his head! He is talking about things, we've had conversations with various people, we have a game plan of sorts.
I am flipping well so pleased to read this from you. Thank goodness.
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Old Oct 9th 2022, 6:36 pm
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Originally Posted by BEVS
I am flipping well so pleased to read this from you. Thank goodness.
Yes thank goodness. He told someone at work, which he was really worrying about. They had a sit down meeting. They are taking him off the bonus system and putting him on a salary - equivalent or better than his current renumeration and getting him a trainee of some sort to train to do what he does. They have tried other techs to do what he does and it never works.

We have more of an idea of Financials if and when the time comes that he cannot work too. I don't need to put the house on the market this week! We have some breathing space. We are going to start organizing ready to market when needs must.
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Old Oct 11th 2022, 8:05 pm
  #119  
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Originally Posted by Piff Poff
Yes thank goodness. He told someone at work, which he was really worrying about. They had a sit down meeting. They are taking him off the bonus system and putting him on a salary - equivalent or better than his current renumeration and getting him a trainee of some sort to train to do what he does. They have tried other techs to do what he does and it never works.

We have more of an idea of Financials if and when the time comes that he cannot work too. I don't need to put the house on the market this week! We have some breathing space. We are going to start organizing ready to market when needs must.
Excellent news. Phew
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Old Oct 11th 2022, 9:03 pm
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Originally Posted by Piff Poff
Yes thank goodness. He told someone at work, which he was really worrying about. They had a sit down meeting. They are taking him off the bonus system and putting him on a salary - equivalent or better than his current renumeration and getting him a trainee of some sort to train to do what he does. They have tried other techs to do what he does and it never works.

We have more of an idea of Financials if and when the time comes that he cannot work too. I don't need to put the house on the market this week! We have some breathing space. We are going to start organizing ready to market when needs must.
Sounds like you are getting there, slowly but surely. Good luck.
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