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Life's Turning-Points

Life's Turning-Points

Old Aug 23rd 2022, 11:45 am
  #46  
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Default Re: Life's Turning-Points

Originally Posted by Jingsamichty View Post
Enjoying this thread, and getting an insight into the views of the older generation.

I'm lucky enough to still have both my parents, Dad is 81 and very fit and active, Mum is 76 and still reasonably active. But I've noticed that their world-bubble is getting smaller and smaller with every passing year. They just don't take as much interest in the 'outside world' as they used to. They no longer have any desire to travel, they no longer visit anyone other than immediate local family (this was a habit that was very much accelerated by COVID restrictions but they have no interest in reversing it), they show no interest in world affairs. I can understand that age brings physical limitations on one's activities and interests but they also seem to have lost much of their intellectual curiosity about the world at large, which is rather upsetting to observe. Is this normal, is it something you recognise in yourselves or your friends?

I've just been to see my mother, who is 98. I was last there in March. She's still interested in going out and I pushed her in a wheelchair along the cliffs above Hastings and at Beachy Head. My daughter and one of her children joined us and we went out to eat. It was not much different than ten years ago, her house was stiflingly hot then and it is now. She railed against the restrictions on her driving her scooter then and she does now (she is a dangerous driver, inclined to jump double kerbs). She was in her late 80s, when we all went to Vancouver Island, the last of her travels. After that she'd had it with planes.

I don't discuss world affairs with readers of the Daily Mail, I can say though that she retains a sharp eye for the female form noting a waitresses hour glass shape and Sienna Miller's lack of a healthy build.

Her mind is going, she seemed to think her granddaughter was my partner "nice to have met you" she said, as we left. Her ears have already gone, TV quiz shows are blasted at volumes one associates with death metal. I would not want to be the neighbour.
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Old Aug 24th 2022, 3:20 am
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Another of my Life's Turning Points came in 1986 when the Cayman Chamber of Commerce hired me as its first salaried manager. After 20 years of existence as a monthly luncheon club (even one of its past directors called it The Chamber of Comics), a new Board determined to play an active role in the community. Two years later, I was fighting deportation, having been labelled a "subversive" in the local mini-parliament.

With a back-office (me and a part-time secretary) to do the dog-work, the Chamber shook the establishment by publicly opposing two of the elected Government's' proposed laws. We lost the first fight, but won the second. The first was a socialist Labour Law, the second intended to impose a tax on local incomes - in a place that had never had any such thing before. What our back-office did was recruit all our members' employees to the cause, by means of a wildly populist newsletter that was passed around the community, like one of those samizdats that used to carry anti-communist propaganda in the Soviet Union.

My Work Permit was pulled, and I became unemployable. I appealed to the British FCO, and they cut me some slack. Cayman is a British colony, though largely ruled by a local legislature. One of our on-Island newspapers' publisher bravely invited me to write a weekly column, which I used as a provocative platform to become a high-profile martyr to the cause of freedom of speech. Too high-profile to persecute, as it happened. (None of those columns ever hit the web, by the way, when the web came along. So I'm not breaking any BE rule by mentioning them. I have to say that because I've been hammered before for unwittingly breaking rule number 9 or whatever it is.)

Ah well... it's a long story, and this is just a summary. At the end of the day I'm still here - although I have to tread carefully and keep a low profile, even now. What a Turning Point, though, eh?
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Old Aug 24th 2022, 7:19 am
  #48  
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Default Re: Life's Turning-Points

Originally Posted by dbd33 View Post
I've just been to see my mother, who is 98.
You're very lucky to still have a parent at 98 who still seems relatively independent. How often do you manage to get over to the UK to visit her?
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Old Aug 24th 2022, 8:52 am
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Originally Posted by Atlantic Xpat View Post
They are finding the situation with Natalie having leukaemia difficult to deal with. They’d like to visit but its beyond them, they are concerned, but can’t do much directly other than be there on the end of the phone/FaceTime. As a family we are not going to be able to travel to see them for another couple of years at least & that might mean we don’t get to see them at all & that weighs heavily upon me. We took the ability to travel to the UK for granted and first covid and now leukaemia has taken that away. I’m concerned that were anything to happen to them in the next year or two, I’d be faced with an impossible choice of whether I can leave my family here and travel there or not. There will be times when its “not”.
I hope things are going well with the leukaemia treatment for your daughter. My 15 year old niece was recently diagnosed with lymphoma and had a Hickman line fitted in prep for chemotherapy but the docs then decided it wasn't lymphoma after all but something auto-immune related that requires a bone-marrow transplant. Hopefully they will get to the bottom of it.
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Old Aug 24th 2022, 11:09 am
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Default Re: Life's Turning-Points

Originally Posted by Jingsamichty View Post
You're very lucky to still have a parent at 98 who still seems relatively independent. How often do you manage to get over to the UK to visit her?
Pre-covid we used go en-mase once a year and I'd try for another short visit. This year I was there in Match and last week. On these trips I also go to see my autistic daughter in Switzerland so it's a bit of a class in assisted living arrangements.

The Costa Geriatriica is, of course, a good place for a person to be supported at home. There are all sorts of mobile and delivery services. The frozen meals company is dodgy, they know a customer cannot eat three meals a day but keep sending more based on dubious telephone consent, but the rest of the suppliers seem reasonable enough. A residential facility is GBP2.500/week with another couple of grand a month for "medical services" so in budgetary terms there's a lot of space to order premium services. Residential facilities want two years' rent up front so I assume people moving in, hating it and dying quickly is a major profit center tor them. Having to sell the house to move in to a potential hell hole is a powerful incentive to independent living.

Years ago here I knew someone who made a living buying and selling residential homes. He characterized the business it as being extremely sleazy and suggested investing in strip joints instead. That was before Mike Harris and the Ford gang, seems about right though.
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Old Aug 25th 2022, 1:36 am
  #51  
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Default Re: Life's Turning-Points

Originally Posted by Jingsamichty View Post
Enjoying this thread, and getting an insight into the views of the older generation.

I'm lucky enough to still have both my parents, Dad is 81 and very fit and active, Mum is 76 and still reasonably active. But I've noticed that their world-bubble is getting smaller and smaller with every passing year. They just don't take as much interest in the 'outside world' as they used to. They no longer have any desire to travel, they no longer visit anyone other than immediate local family (this was a habit that was very much accelerated by COVID restrictions but they have no interest in reversing it), they show no interest in world affairs. I can understand that age brings physical limitations on one's activities and interests but they also seem to have lost much of their intellectual curiosity about the world at large, which is rather upsetting to observe. Is this normal, is it something you recognise in yourselves or your friends?
Yes that's me, though I've never thought of it as a world bubble but I guess it is. COVID showed me I can cope without much of a social life, I no longer bother with people who are slow to get in touch. Friendship can't be.a one way street. I've lost interest in many things and have mastered the art of doing nothing. Add in to that some serious cardiac crap I'm resolved to not sweat the small stuff. Well at least try.
My mum is 93 and still lives alone, The isolation messes with your intelligence and she worries she's losing her marbles. She is struggling with the software on her new iPad! I've no time for religion myself but mum goes to church and they are age stuff for their seniors and keep in touch to make sure they are ok.
​​​okI guess this is my turning point, the downward slope
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Old Aug 25th 2022, 1:36 am
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Default Re: Life's Turning-Points

Originally Posted by Jingsamichty View Post
Enjoying this thread, and getting an insight into the views of the older generation.

I'm lucky enough to still have both my parents, Dad is 81 and very fit and active, Mum is 76 and still reasonably active. But I've noticed that their world-bubble is getting smaller and smaller with every passing year. They just don't take as much interest in the 'outside world' as they used to. They no longer have any desire to travel, they no longer visit anyone other than immediate local family (this was a habit that was very much accelerated by COVID restrictions but they have no interest in reversing it), they show no interest in world affairs. I can understand that age brings physical limitations on one's activities and interests but they also seem to have lost much of their intellectual curiosity about the world at large, which is rather upsetting to observe. Is this normal, is it something you recognise in yourselves or your friends?
Yes that's me, though I've never thought of it as a world bubble but I guess it is. COVID showed me I can cope without much of a social life, I no longer bother with people who are slow to get in touch. Friendship can't be.a one way street. I've lost interest in many things and have mastered the art of doing nothing. Add in to that some serious cardiac crap I'm resolved to not sweat the small stuff. Well at least try.
My mum is 93 and still lives alone, The isolation messes with your intelligence and she worries she's losing her marbles. She is struggling with the software on her new iPad! I've no time for religion myself but mum goes to church and they are age stuff for their seniors and keep in touch to make sure they are ok.
​​​okI guess this is my turning point, the downward slope
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Old Aug 25th 2022, 2:00 pm
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Originally Posted by bats View Post
​​​okI guess this is my turning point, the downward slope

Posting that twice was a nice touch. Have you forgotten doing so?
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Old Aug 25th 2022, 9:07 pm
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Originally Posted by dbd33 View Post
Posting that twice was a nice touch. Have you forgotten doing so?
I wasn't aware it had posted twice! It's confirmed then, further into the senile pit of crazy go I.

Gibber gibber
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Old Aug 27th 2022, 3:23 pm
  #55  
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Default Re: Life's Turning-Points

Originally Posted by Jingsamichty View Post
Enjoying this thread, and getting an insight into the views of the older generation.

I'm lucky enough to still have both my parents, Dad is 81 and very fit and active, Mum is 76 and still reasonably active. But I've noticed that their world-bubble is getting smaller and smaller with every passing year. They just don't take as much interest in the 'outside world' as they used to. They no longer have any desire to travel, they no longer visit anyone other than immediate local family (this was a habit that was very much accelerated by COVID restrictions but they have no interest in reversing it), they show no interest in world affairs. I can understand that age brings physical limitations on one's activities and interests but they also seem to have lost much of their intellectual curiosity about the world at large, which is rather upsetting to observe. Is this normal, is it something you recognise in yourselves or your friends?
This is exactly me and my DH. I'm 74 and he's 81. Our world is so small these days that they encompass the grocery stores and Walmarts. I no longer wish to travel to the next city let alone the world. I find myself sitting comfortably in front of the computer, television or reading a book. My main reason for moving to the south of the US was for my oldest daughter and my DH. She passed away 20 months ago and if he predeceases me, my world will be even smaller. Not at all how I envisioned my retirement years but actually am comfortable with it. You start to realize that the end of life can be at any time now and I've made peace with it.
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Old Aug 27th 2022, 6:51 pm
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Rete, bats and Jingsa - I'm in the same boat, except that my wife died three years ago, aged 79, and I'm on my own now. I don't want to move from the house - either permanently or temporarily. I force myself to drive to the supermarket once a week, and to meet up with two old tennis mates for a couple of hours every Friday. And that's about it. I used to fly to Norway where my son and his kids live, but now I make them come to me here in the Caribbean. I'm glad to know I'm not the only old codger whose "world bubble" has shrunk!

WhatsApp has made a huge difference to my life. Gone are the days when one got edgy when the three-minutes time-limit was nearly up for overseas phone calls!
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Old Aug 29th 2022, 1:55 am
  #57  
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Default Re: Life's Turning-Points

Originally Posted by Atlantic Xpat View Post
In 2000ish when internet dating was still a novelty I responded to a profile for a "crazy Canadian, landlocked in London". That was a life changing moment as it lead to me emigrating with said Canadian in 2004 to part of Canada I'd barely heard of and only visited once in the depths of winter. The other life changing events of course were the birth of my kids in 2009 and 2012 respectively. Sadly, the youngest is also responsible for a life changing moment a little over three weeks ago when she was diagnosed with leukemia. Not all life changing moments are good, but we overcome adversity and fight on.

So sorry to hear of your daughter's health issues. I hope her treatment goes well for her.
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Old Aug 29th 2022, 2:01 am
  #58  
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Aside from the usual life events, having a child, keaving the abuser, being a single parent etc. Meeting my hubs and emigration was a turning point. I've lost a mum. My daughter moved to Ontario. Our next turning point should have been moving to Ontatio. Hubs decided before last Christmas that he wanted to be in England. In reality our next move will likely be moving back into town in a cheaper house with no mortgage whilst my husband undergoes however many years of dialysis, until a kidney can be found...then we will decide on where we end up.
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Old Aug 29th 2022, 3:50 pm
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Default Re: Life's Turning-Points

Originally Posted by Piff Poff View Post
Aside from the usual life events, having a child, keaving the abuser, being a single parent etc. Meeting my hubs and emigration was a turning point. I've lost a mum. My daughter moved to Ontario. Our next turning point should have been moving to Ontatio. Hubs decided before last Christmas that he wanted to be in England. In reality our next move will likely be moving back into town in a cheaper house with no mortgage whilst my husband undergoes however many years of dialysis, until a kidney can be found...then we will decide on where we end up.
Sorry to read of your tribulations. Good luck with it all..
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Old Aug 29th 2022, 11:37 pm
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Originally Posted by dbd33 View Post
Sorry to read of your tribulations. Good luck with it all..
Thanks. It's all been a bit of a shock. He'll not be able to lift more that 25lbs - so no work and no hobby.
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