Gordon Barlow

If you check out my thread in the Australian section ("The Barbie"), you will find a brief discussion of this very topic! You're welcome to join it...

bats

I've met several people via the internet, some have become good friends, some were absolute shits, the best one became my husband.

bats

I've met several people via the internet, some have become good friends, some were absolute shits, the best one became my husband.

dbd33

Please do (though Guelph would be better). In years gone by I met quite a full posters from this board that way. I kind of lost interest when it went from "going for a beer, wanna come?" to a more formalized meet-up structure.

Mostly though, before WebEx changed the world, I used to find myself bored in obscure places and would look for someone who would go out on a Tuesday night in King of Prussia or a Thursday in Laramie. I found them from the Gruaniad board. As they say, the odds were good but the goods were odd.

Gordon Barlow

I'm too old now for any more turning-points, except the last one of all! I might move to Norway to be with my family, but I'd really rather stick here on my Caribbean island. I know where everything is, here.

50 years ago, Linda and I decided to retire with our baby and live in a Kombi van beside the caves of Crete with the hippies there, but another Turning Point put the kibosh on that. I nearly killed us all when - distracted by the baby - I ran a dangerously pale red light in Malaga. That convinced us to abandon the plan and re-join the orthodox world. We ended up in Cayman, which was a perfect place to bring up our boy. He's in Norway now, but I'm still here. Sigh. What can you do, eh?

Anybody else with a story of how a traumatic event changed their lives?

not2old

piping in that there isn't one single traumatic event in my life that changed anything in my life.

I wouldn't say emigrating to Canada at age 20 or moving to OZ then NZ in our mid 30's & returning back, then working globally for several weeks to mths at a time in some of the nastiest places on earth... none of those things were traumatic... more the *eventful* or *life-changing for the better* (not traumatic).

since emigrating its been a wonderful 55 years learning experience, makes one a wee bit wiser & more tolerant.

now should one or both of our children die before we do, then yes, this is traumatic.

should my wife pop her clogs before I do, then this would be a traumatic life changing event.

it would be decision time where I would live - yet definitely sell the property that we both lived in.

our parents passing away was not traumatic, it was sad, we accepted it as a fact of life knowing that it would happen.

@Gordon would you consider in your 80's pulling up sticks to move to Norway?

Gordon Barlow

Yes, I am considering it. My only child is there, and my only grandchildren. We're in close touch on WhatsApp, and visits are now available post-Covid, but still... If he erects a pre-fab cottage for me in a block he owns in a forest, it will be hard to resist. Of course there is the cold - but one doesn't have to be cold, inside somewhere. (No colder than Canada, probably. My winter in Toronto in '67 is the coldest I've ever lived through!) I'm giving myself 12 months to decide.

not2old

theres a plan, however managing cold weather in your 20's will be different in your later years as will be mobility issues in icy, snowy weather - easily slip & break something that you wont recover from... now that will be a life changing event.

could you test drive it first, try it for 3 mths Jan through to end March

Gordon Barlow

Thanks for the feedback! At my age, I can't afford to give it a three-months trial! But what I'll probably do is give it two weeks, once the cabin is up and ready to live in. If it doesn't fit the purpose, I won't live there. He can sell it, while I keep living here where I'm comfortable. This here is a fully equipped house, with everything I need, pretty much. So I don't think I would move to a place that isn't fully equipped. Still, it's only fair to check the other one out.

Are you yourself happy where you are? Calling yourself "not2old" indicates that you're actually "not2young", either, so what are your plans for when you're old? I've never been old before, and I'm still getting used to it. I need all the advice I can get!

BEVS

All the very best with your future decision Gordon
You are a brave enough man whichever you choose.
Sometimes being close to those we love and a whole new adventure brings a new lease in life.

not2old

"happy" & contented, life is good-one day at at time, young at heart in mind & sprit ... the bones creak.

age is just a number, at 75 years old (wife is the same age) so yes, we are young compared to you.

in good health as long as possible, my end of days at 100 would be just fine for me & the wife, better still we go together within 24 hrs.

have you got an end of days numbers when you'd like to pop your clogs?

any thoughts of making a trip back to OZ?

Gordon Barlow

Q1: not really. I'm content with life at the moment. A state of decrepitude, but that's standard. As long as the end isn't prolonged unnecessarily. Linda died three years ago, of cancer, aged 79. That was traumatic, yes; but as cancer deaths go, hers was mercifully quick. I was expecting something much worse. We had been members of Dignitas in Switzerland for years, but there wasn't time to involve them.

Q2. no. The last visit was in 1995. My brothers and their families are all there, but there would be no purpose in my going there now. WhatsApp takes good care of my Australian contacts. And Norwegian ones too, really.

not2old

@Gordon, thanks for your response, feedback along with the personal items.

wishing you all the best.

Jingsamichty

Enjoying this thread, and getting an insight into the views of the older generation.

I'm lucky enough to still have both my parents, Dad is 81 and very fit and active, Mum is 76 and still reasonably active. But I've noticed that their world-bubble is getting smaller and smaller with every passing year. They just don't take as much interest in the 'outside world' as they used to. They no longer have any desire to travel, they no longer visit anyone other than immediate local family (this was a habit that was very much accelerated by COVID restrictions but they have no interest in reversing it), they show no interest in world affairs. I can understand that age brings physical limitations on one's activities and interests but they also seem to have lost much of their intellectual curiosity about the world at large, which is rather upsetting to observe. Is this normal, is it something you recognise in yourselves or your friends?

Atlantic Xpat

Jings, I’m having a similar experience with my folks. They are a little older - 87/80 - and reasonably active and in reasonably good health. Anno Domini on top of Covid has definitely closed their horizons in a bit in terms of travel and activities. It’s been 10 years or more since they visited us in Canada and that’s been off the cards for years now. Even a trip to Norwich to go shopping is somewhat of a big deal since Covid. They used to go on vacation to Yorkshire/Lake District but I don’t think mum would want that drive anymore & dad, well he’s basically given up driving at this point, They are still pretty interested and engaged in the world around them albeit largely virtually in my, and my immediate families case. They do see their grand daughter who lives nearby & my sisters.

They are finding the situation with Natalie having leukaemia difficult to deal with. They’d like to visit but its beyond them, they are concerned, but can’t do much directly other than be there on the end of the phone/FaceTime. As a family we are not going to be able to travel to see them for another couple of years at least & that might mean we don’t get to see them at all & that weighs heavily upon me. We took the ability to travel to the UK for granted and first covid and now leukaemia has taken that away. I’m concerned that were anything to happen to them in the next year or two, I’d be faced with an impossible choice of whether I can leave my family here and travel there or not. There will be times when its “not”.