I thought this was quite good........!!!!!
Mar 1st 2009, 7:01 pm
#16
BE Forum Addict
Thread Starter
Joined: Oct 2007
Location: UK
Posts: 1,830
Re: I thought this was quite good........!!!!!
Here's one
Jim and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while
they
were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into
the
deep end.
He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly
jumped
in to save him.
She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out.
When the hospital director
became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered that Edna be
discharged from the hospital because she now considered Edna to be
mentally
stable.
The director went to Edna and said, "I have some good news and some
bad
news. The good news is that you're being discharged because you
responded
so rationally to a crisis by jumping in the pool to save the life of
another patient.
Your action displays sound mindedness. The bad news is that Jim, the
patient you saved, hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt
right
after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead."
Edna replied, "He didn't hang himself. I put him there to dry. How soon
can I go home?"
Jim and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while
they
were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into
the
deep end.
He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly
jumped
in to save him.
She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out.
When the hospital director
became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered that Edna be
discharged from the hospital because she now considered Edna to be
mentally
stable.
The director went to Edna and said, "I have some good news and some
bad
news. The good news is that you're being discharged because you
responded
so rationally to a crisis by jumping in the pool to save the life of
another patient.
Your action displays sound mindedness. The bad news is that Jim, the
patient you saved, hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt
right
after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead."
Edna replied, "He didn't hang himself. I put him there to dry. How soon
can I go home?"
Mar 1st 2009, 8:14 pm
#20
Sawdust making harpy
Joined: Sep 2007
Location: Alberta
Posts: 11,291
Re: I thought this was quite good........!!!!!
A blonde walks into a bank in London and asks to see the manager.
She says she's going to Hong Kong on business for two weeks and needs to borrow £5,000.
The manager says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Ferrari.
The car is parked on the street in front of the bank; she has the title and everything checks out.
The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan.
The manager and the tellers all enjoy a good laugh at the blonde for using a £200,000 Ferrari as collateral against a £5,000 loan.
An employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the Ferrari into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.
Two weeks later, the blonde returns, repays the £5,000 and the interest, which comes to £17.41.
The manager says, 'Miss, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled.
While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a millionairess.
What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow £5,000?'
The blonde replies...'Where else in central London can I park my car for two weeks for only £17.41
See, I always knew blondes were smart!!!
She says she's going to Hong Kong on business for two weeks and needs to borrow £5,000.
The manager says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Ferrari.
The car is parked on the street in front of the bank; she has the title and everything checks out.
The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan.
The manager and the tellers all enjoy a good laugh at the blonde for using a £200,000 Ferrari as collateral against a £5,000 loan.
An employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the Ferrari into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.
Two weeks later, the blonde returns, repays the £5,000 and the interest, which comes to £17.41.
The manager says, 'Miss, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled.
While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a millionairess.
What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow £5,000?'
The blonde replies...'Where else in central London can I park my car for two weeks for only £17.41
See, I always knew blondes were smart!!!
Goddam I know I should've stayed in financial planning - it was obviously my calling .............. now where to get a Ferrari from
hahahaha
