R2D2

Thats a little harsh on me Steve I think. We didn't come here with the notion that, OK we are in, lets get our Citizenship then, we can go back to England with an open invitation to return anytime.
The timescale we have imposed on ourselves, helps us to not look at this as forever, gives us a period of 3 definate yrs here, then apply for the Citizenship, and by the time we have that, we should 'hopefully' have settled a little more, and have more of an idea where we want to be.

It is a way of keeping a level head, not jumping ship at the first bout of homesickness, giving us time to adjust........................and its as simple as that. No hidden agenda.

Steve_P

You misunderstand this was not at meant as a slight towards you. Besides I did say I no longer feel that way.

It is possible I did feel that way because when I left at sixteen I didn't really have any ties to England and readily adopted my new home.

Although I waited nearly nine years before taking out my citizenship I felt myself to be a Canadian almost from day one.

Cheers
Steve

R2D2

I think, as a female, with close(ish) family and friends back in the UK, and a fondness of Cheshire and all it meant to us............its a little harder to let go of your roots and fully commit to a new life in another country, without taking a backwards glance.

If i came here thinking, OK thats it, we are here for the rest of my days, then I think I would have been scared Sh**less. I need that safety blanket, I need a timescale to work towards, and by obtaining the Citizenship, then we keep our options open, for us and for our childrens future.

Cowtown

You can apply for citizenship at that point but it takes a while to be processed. We waited longer for our citizenship test appointment than we did to get our visas in the first place. I can only imagine that queue will be getting longer by the day.

R2D2

How long was that out of curiousity?

Calgal

Definitely! I agree with Liz; in your head you're longing for the place as you left it. The more time that passes, the less likely it is to exist for you to return to. The experience of living elsewhere changes you considerably, and everything else changes, too; the people you left behind, the places; and even the 'feel' (if that makes sense). It was ten years before I went back for the first time, and it was bitter sweet. In lots of ways I really did feel like a foreigner in my home town; but at the same time it was good to be back! If only for a while (and a 'real' bacon sarnie )......

This thread has been surprisingly therapeutic for me! (So thanks to H143 for that!) It's made me realise, that if I could just stuff my mum in my suitcase next time I'm there, I could finally 'leave' for good, and just enjoy the odd visit as a tourist!

Calgal

I'd be interested to know how long it's taking to get Citizenship these days, too!

For us, it was nine months from application to Ceremony (in 2000).

Exactly the same as immigration (Skilled Worker), application to PR, nine months!

Calgal

That's probably very perceptive Morw - mine only managed twice in ten years and I really believed it would be so much more often!

Another horrible part, is how much more I notice mum ageing as I don't see her so frequently!

H143

I agree with R2D2 about aiming for the citizenship and then re-evaluating. I don't think I ever really planned to come out here forever anyway. After all, I mainly came to snowboard and live in the mountains, and am fast realising that responsible adulthood, careers that earn decent money and trying to spend most of your time enjoying yourself aren't all that compatible!

I also agree about noticing your parents ageing as you don't see them all the time. It's a bit of a wake up call that they're not going to be around forever so don't take them for granted.

I've found this thread really helpful too and am really glad of your replies. For me, it isn't about a move back to England as my family are all in Australia (my parents moved there since I moved here) but a move to be back with them. This year I spent 2 months with them and it was the first time we'd all been together for 7 years. It was so nice to all be together and be a family unit again and I realised how nice it would be if that were to continue. I think we all realised that. I think for me and my sister too we are both single at 30 and 36, so it's nice to have family around.

Thanks for all your replies. Keep posting!

ann m

I am so glad all you guys have written on this post - I have found all your comments very theraputic too ! Both my mum and dad have died, both quite young really - and this is partly the reason why I want to be brave enough to make this big move - 'cos you never know what's around the corner - but ironically, it is also the reason why I think it may be fractionally easier for me to actually go - because they are no longer here.

But your posts have made me extremely mindful about how my husband may, and will, feel in the months or years to come. He has a big, close family and I must never under-estimate how he (and my children) may feel about his parents. Thank you all .

fatdoc

yep . start setting up a nice suit for in-laws! you can always invite them over for few months

Purley

Slightly off topic but what the heck! When we had been in Canada about five years, we went back for a holiday. We went to our local for a drink and the landlord said to my husband "Where've you been Rhys - haven't seen you around here for a while!"

ann m

Ah - nice to be missed !! Makes you feel all warm and fuzzy !
What did he say ?

Amber and Chris

My parents just left after a 2 week visit here in Canada too. Yesterday was a very sad day. It gets harder each time we leave each other! If you're not careful you start counting out the rest of their lives in "number of vistis" - and it doesn't seem enough.

If you don't have a webcam, get one _now_, and have your parents get one!!! We see each other almost every day this way. It isn't the same, but it enables you to have a cup of tea and a chat and see each other enjoying your conversation "face to face". I have even perfected the art of talking to the camera so to my mum it looks as if I'm looking directly at her. It makes a big difference to see their faces and their home in the background. To my parents, when I moved apartments, it meant they could see my new place and picture me there - something that my mum finds particularly helpful in imagining me settled. Any internet phone company that does free computer-to-computer calls is a good idea too.

It is always a difficult decision to be away from family, and some days - believe me, especially today! - it just doesn't seem worth it. But you have to think of your own (current or future) family and what might be best for them in terms of your lifestyle and where you can best implement the values you believe in. Then you find whatever ways you can to be close to your family. I have friends back home who talk to their parents less than I do, and they live in the same town! A close family will always manage to be close, no matter where they are.