How do you cope with the problem of love?
 

How do you cope with the problem of love is a very akward title but love and relationships are something I'm really, really struggling with at the moment.

Last year I came over to canada on an exchange program and had an amazing time but I was only in canada for 3 months, I wanted to come out and have fun. Starting a relationship just seemed like a bad idea because the fact that I'd be going home and would be unlikely to come back other than for holidays was alway looming over head.

But being out in canada was one of the most amazing experiences of my entire life, the friends I made are amazing and I really, really felt at home here more so than in the UK (I have a close group of friends at home but at uni espcially I dont really fit in, I hate the drinking culture there and I'm bored constantly).

Fortunatly for me, my degree program (film and television production) lets me do an internship for a semester and I managed to arrange one in the city I first visited, living in the same university accomodation so I've managed to come out for another three months.

But I'm still in a situation where I'm bouncing back and forth between canada and the uk with a possibility that it could be a long time before I'm back in canada.

How do you start a relationship with someone knowing that your going to be so incredibly far apart and you might never see each other again and if your in a relationship how do you cope with the distance?

Re: How do you cope with the problem of love?
 

I guess the answer is that you don't set out to start one. If something happens, then it happens. And then, if you want to pursue the relationship, you find a way to make it work; making sacrifices if the relationship is worth it.

I had plans, but by chance I met a Canadian, things developed unexpectedly, I visited Canada when the relationship developed further. I had to juggle annual leave, flexi time etc to make further visits. Suddenly everything was invested in the relationship.

With the obstacles of distance, little chance of getting employment in Canada, not being at an age where I could yet retire and get my pension to say nothing of the original plan, we developed a way to make it possible to make a life for us in Canada and I left work, sold my home and left the UK. We've lived that life, so far, since 2004.

Re: How do you cope with the problem of love?
 

The level and quality of your love is tested by distance.

Re: How do you cope with the problem of love?
 

^^^ what they said. Let it flow, young Jedi. What will be, will be what you let be.:cool::wub:

R.

Re: How do you cope with the problem of love?
 

Do you write an Agony Aunt column in your local free rag?

Re: How do you cope with the problem of love?
 

I should explain that in the last few days a girl and I have been hitting it off but were nowhere near the point of calling anything a relationship, its not like I planned it to happen and it sucks balls, I might be able to come back out in may but that would mean not paying my parents back the money I owe right away and either way shes going to be in the maritimes for a month then 4 hours up north.

It feels like this is going to happen everytime I'm in canada because I have no idea how to get a more permenant residence.

Re: How do you cope with the problem of love?
 

Thanks for the advice everyone, I'm just feeling lousy because I'm going to miss everyone, I made friends out here that are far better than most of the people I know at home.

Part of me just wants to drop out of university and head straight back out here and use up the rest of my work visa.

Re: How do you cope with the problem of love?
 

And if all else fails just climb the old mango tree and yank it like a monkey:rofl::rofl:

Re: How do you cope with the problem of love?
 

I met my boyfriend in Toronto in 2007 while I was out here on a holiday...I thought that was bloody typical given I'd lived here for a year btw 2004-2005 and eligible canadian men seemed to be few and far between. Then he pops up right at the end of my 2 week holiday.

I'm not going to lie long distance relationships are hard but they can work if you're both willing to try and if there is some end in sight i.e. you are going to be in the same country again at some point. Plus Canada isn't the other side of the world it's not cheap but you can take turns to fly back and forth.

I really wouldn't advise you drop uni to come back out here, especially so early on in a relationship. Are you having to go back to uni in January is that why you can't use up the visa? Is there any way you could defer it and go back next year?

Re: How do you cope with the problem of love?
 

Your nuts if you drop out of Uni for some girl you've only been pumping for a few weeks.

Get your degree and then get back out there. In the meantime keep her sweet with emails and the odd visit if you can afford it.

Re: How do you cope with the problem of love?
 

So beautifully put, but I agree the sentiments. University takes priority then your options in the future will be much greater. Dont sacrifice your long term for the short term at this stage.:)

Re: How do you cope with the problem of love?
 

Doesnt sound like he has that long to go with Uni either. Am I right in saying a degree only takes 3 years in England? I dont imagine you'd get to do a semester abroad in your 1st year so at most you're looking at another 18 months of Uni. Also if someone's not into the binge drinking culture of british Uni life it'll be easy to put some cash away and do a bunac type thing in the uni holidays.

GIP and forget about it.

Re: How do you cope with the problem of love?
 

Also remember you dont need to screw your mind up thinking shall I choose England or shall I choose Canada, you can choose BOTH. Enjoy the best of both countries.

Enjoy your time when in England at Uni and enjoy being in England, dont yearn for Canada. When you are in Canada enjoy Canada and dont think of England.

Please dont give up Uni.

Where in Canada were you?

Re: How do you cope with the problem of love?
 

Thanks everyone, though it doesnt really make me feel a whole lot better.

and I'm sorry for making the blog sound like I'm thinking of dropping out of uni for a girl, I'm not its an idea thats been floating around before she was really on the scene. I'm far happier out there, I have amazing friends and I have bunac visa that lasts until september and the company I worked for said they'd hire me.

I'm just desperate to get back because everythings going well out there and its looking unlikely that I'll be able to get back with work visa's or as a skilled worker if I want to stay in the film industry.

I have one semester left of uni, which I know isnt much but I've never liked uni and its really not all that useful to me.

The only other thing I've been thinking about is transfering from my uk uni to the university of regina sk, but that means I'm in uni for another two years, which is both a good and bad thing.

I'm just all over the place at the moment I'm blogging from toronto international airport, I'm very tired and I miss my friends, I've havent felt this bad in a longtime I broke down crying before.

Its a good thing coming out here is worth it because this is the hardest thing I've ever done.

Re: How do you cope with the problem of love?
 

Oh p.s I've been living in Regina sasketchewan, I want to move to alberta but that wouldnt be for a long time, way after I'm established in sk.

Re: How do you cope with the problem of love?
 

Sorry Im still in English mode, what is one semester? A year or a term?

Re: How do you cope with the problem of love?
 

Its ok, a semester is two terms so i'll be done in may the problem is that getting a work visa seems unlikely because contracts in my industry rarely last more than three months, to make matters even more complicated companies use a parent company system.


What that basically means is the parent company starts a brand new company everytime it starts a new film, so for example if I worked on back to the future, I would of worked for a company called back to the future productions. When the film finishes then I move to another film and another company.

From what I've read about work visa's, it needs to be atleast a year and changing companies is difficult at best, at worst impossible.

All i know is I need to get back to canada, my friends made a dvd of some of the stuff we got to over the last year and they had a message for me at the end of it and it sums up everything perfectly:

Merry Christmas Phil!
If you dont come back to Canada, we will punch you straight in the junk
p.s We heart you
p.p.s Make love to a beautiful Canadian woman so you can live here.

- Your Canadian Friends :)

Re: How do you cope with the problem of love?
 

the first five years of my relationship with OH was spend only seeing each other at weekends.....then he went to the antarctic for 2.5 years......then cambridge for two years....etc etc etc.......we've just celebrated 30 years together.......can be done......and i'm looking forward to the next 30 years....