homesickness..
 

for those of you that have been in Canada for a while, how long was it before the homesickness kicked in if at all? we are both fine at the moment but am wondering when other people started felling it?

just preparing for the future, just in case! :unsure:

Mark

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Just have a read of the BBC News website under the UK section when you start to feel homesick. Once you see all the stabbings and shootings you will realise how lucky you are and it will pass.

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36 years, and I'm not kidding I went into a major depression triggered by contacting an old school chum through the internet.

Other issues going on in my life at the time but that I'm sure was the catalyst.

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Home is where you live,,if you're sick of where you live,thats Home sickness. Move to somewhere that don't make ya sick. Simple

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That might be your interpretation of homesickness it sure isn't mine.

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Jees you truckers have nerves of steel...so goddam rugged and butch hell ya see it like it is and like it as ya see the open road... travellin' from here ta there wherever I lay my head that's ma home let's kick ass on this here highway and burn up them miles till there aint no miles ta burn, home! Paah! Just a sissy load ah namby pampy's cryin in their mammy's tits...christ ah gotta pee.

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:rofl::rofl::rofl:

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Do you have a bladder disfunction?????????????

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totally agree :thumbsup:

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I think everyone is different. We tend not to have any home-sickness bouts any more after about a year and we are finally settled in our own house (i.e. not renting) etc. But perhaps we will get them still.

One thing I really wish I had done before I left was to take a video camera and film all the reasons why we left. You forget them so quickly once you are here and then you start to wonder. If you haven't left yet, please do it. Go out into your home town on a saturday night and film people throwing-up in the street and smashing each other's heads in, film your house so you can see how cramped it is, film the behaviour of the kids in the playground at your kids school (and then film the police who try to arrest you for doing it because they automatically assume you are a child-molester because there are so many of them in the area), film the waitress at your local pub who curtly slams your plates down on the table and says "here's your food", record the person on the other end of the phone at the phone company wh doesn't even listen to what you are complaining about and tells you that they can't help; film the wind and the rain out of the window every day when its really supposed to be summer.

And, when you start to get those home sickness pangs, get your "home" video out and watch it. It will cure them instantly!

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Neither my hubbie or myself (or my son actually) have been homesick as such in the 3 years we've been here. However, there have been times that something here has hit us hard and it has caused a low-period of sorts.

For me it was a really stupid incident in the local Home Depot when one of the assistants was sooooo rude to me. Having come from the UK I just couldn't understand how she could get away with it without any comeback from management. Anyway, this was a culmulation of a few things (she was the straw and I was the camel) and I was very low for a good couple of months (this was about 1.5 years into our time here).

Hubby hit the low point after about a year simply because he does not have the freedom to pop to the pub for a quick pint anymore and have a yarn with friends and other patrons. He's Irish and social chatting is a big part of keeping him happy - that and the beer obviously. Again, this coincided with work problems so he probably got lower than he would normally have. It passed in a few weeks but he still misses that easy interaction with others. We're rural so its not so easy just to pop down the boozer anymore!:)

So for us - it was tiny little things that suddenly kicked off a bigger reaction. But so far, neither of us have even slightly wanted to go back. :)

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I've been here a year in Sept and i'm really feeling it at the moment. I've had small bouts of it here and there but i'm having a major bout now.:(
My MIL was here for all of July and since she went back i've been really unsettled. I think we need a trip back and I keep looking at flights but it's so bloody expensive this time of year, and theres 5 of us and we'd have to hire a car, so it's impossible.
Canada is a lot more expensive place to live and i keep comparing it's down sides with Britain upsides.

I keep telling myself, it'll pass but who knows.

Jo xx

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That's the other option - a trip back will probably cure them too, but the home video option is much cheaper

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That is very true, my Wife made the mistake of calling her best friend in the UK who unknown to us was having a BBQ at home. It just so happened that all of her other friends were also at the BBQ and the phone was passed around to everyone and by the time she finished the conversation she burst out crying as she was missing them all so much.
My day was hell after that :curse:

Top tip = do not call home if you are feeling homesick as it will make you even worse.

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Oh dear,its have a go at truckers day:p:p Look if you're going to miss what ya leaving,then why leave??? Am i to pragmatic ?? I left UK 22yrs ago to start a new life in Switzerland,and loved it there. Now i'm here,not because i had too because i want too. I''m not running away from crime,bad weather,unemployment,terrorism or any of the daily going ons in the UK. Those seem to be the main reassons in BE for leaving UK. This is now my home and i'm not sick of it. We all make our own choices in life,we have only our selves to blame. It's not a macho trucker thing whats ya name 666 its my philossophy :p

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Hi Jo - sorry you're feeling down. I can't offer advice, though as I said above, we did have low points just didn't associate them with homesicknesses as such. They passed, we adapted. Just remember that moving countries is very stressful, a big life change, and at some point that stress will come back and bite you - in different ways or different people.

Hugs for you :)

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we have only been here a month so far and have yet to experience it but i suspect it will come eventually. a few things about canada have disapointed me since we arrived, worst of which was discovering the astronomical cost of cheese! why is cheese so expensive??!! :curse:
seriously tho', i know it will come will just have to be prepared for it when it does. things will have to get pretty bad for me to go back permanently!

Mark

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Sure did buddy ten four, but not now, peed ma pants.

Now, where did I put my flower arranging book hmm.

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I read a book about reverse homesickness/culture shock before returning to Canada (I'm from Canada)... as apparently being homesick/culture shocked in your 'home' country can be worse. Although I miss my friends and I had a moment of missing where I lived in England, I've been a-ok... at least in that respect. I think understanding the phenomena has helped.

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Look under your knitting.

Re: homesickness..
 

Thanks for your post ladymoose - just having a down day today. I'm really missing my family and friends, friends that we've had for 20-30 years, it's hard not to miss them. I spoke with my sister and her family on the webcam the other day and have felt worse since then.
We've had a few rough points too, DH had an accident at work (5 weeks in)and had to have surgery on his leg and 6 months off work. He got workers comp which is less than wages and we had to use our savings to live. Then when he was off crutches my daughter broke her leg (she wanted her own set of crutches) We can't seem to get back on top of ourselves, financially or otherwise. Family life i suppose!
Child care costs would be extortionate for us, so me working isn't an option (and i never had to in the UK) just feel like i want my old life back....sometimes!

Thanks Jo xx

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We have been here 7 months and none of us have suffered any kind of homesickness at all thank goodness. We came here after several years planning and was 100% positive, plus OH had a job so that may have helped.

I do wonder though if it may hit us at some point. It must be really tough to deal with. I have a lot of sympathy for people suffering homesickness - I imagine it to be like a depression hanging over you. Homesickness typically would come from missing members of your family and close friends, especially around important dates or during a family crisis/illness etc.

Emigrating works for some and not for others. Don't expect your chosen country to be like UK. They may speak the same language but they are different countries. I have read posts on the MBTUK forum knocking all things Australian, even knocking them for being far too patriotic - excuse me, but it's their country and they have every right to be. Thats one thing that UK definitely was lacking in - pride! It's a real shame too.

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That was us too.

I was fully prepared for the missing friends and family side of it and coming here is something we really wanted to do and give it a good shot. I don't feel as if we've got off the ground yet, not been able to.
The kids are fine they love it here and that was one of the reasons for coming. I just don't know that it's the best thing for us adults.

Jo xx

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Not surprised you are feeling down with your OH and daughter both having accidents. Two broken legs in the same family :ohmy: It would be a trying time for you all even back in the UK. Not having enough income would be a real struggle too. The combination of the two will certainly be draining.

Re child care costs - I can tell you, it was expensive back in the UK too. Perhaps you could consider a p/t evening job. Many mums land up having to work strange hours or take lower paid jobs working part-time in supermarkets, Timmy's and other stores because they can have good flexible hours. That way what you do earn will not have to be spent on child care. :thumbup:

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maybe this would cheer you up http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/6947224.stm (someone now thinks the solution to teenage drinking problems is to raise the price of alchohol. Doh! We don't have a problem like that in Canada and it isn't because teenagers can't afford to buy an eight-pack)

...or this: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/london/6947744.stm (someone killed for confronting youths and its not even the main article - the who country should be in outrage but the police office just describes it as "excessive use of violence" - talk about desensitised!)

or this: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/london/6947449.stm

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It's because weed is more readily available and cheaper.

Also, plenty of teens drink and raise hell... they just do it where they wont get caught. They're called bush parties but most people in Canada aren't affected by them so they don't make headlines.

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Afer reading NSPauls last input i wonder how anyone could have Homesickness?? for the UK

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joelsa - that is pretty rotten luck, no matter where you live - but coming hot on the heels of your move here, that's just downright bad planning! :p

I do hope things pick up for all of you soon - health/work/money wise.

I've heard that comment about kids loving it, but adults not being so sure. But the people who said things like that a year or so ago, are now (I think) very happy here. It just takes us older peeps that much longer to settle.

Lots of best wishes to you all :thumbsup:

(Where abouts 'just outside Calgary' are you ? )

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I have thought of working in Timmies or Walmart, I wouldn't mind doing that at all. Although i fear if i work in Timmies i'd end up eating and drinking all the profits:lol:
I never looked in to child care costs in the UK so can't compare, we just made do with one wage. We, mistakenly, thought we'd be better off here and i don't think we are, financially i mean. So, I agree me working eves might be the way we'd have to go.

Jo xx

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Yeah Joelsa - absolutely rotten luck, but as is said above, even if you were in the UK this would be a pretty hard thing to cope with - even with family support. I hope things turn around for you soon :)

PS We're broke too!:(

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actually this is probably a better example: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/london/6948366.stm

I remember when I moved here finding it a little strange when teenage kids kept holding doors open for us or saying hello as we walked past. I kept expecting it to be some sort of joke and that if I looked round I would discover they were spitting at me or sticking their fingers up behind my back or sniggering amongst their friends because they were being polite sarcastically! But, no - it was genuine, they were just really nice kids. So when I read things like the article above, well, Gremmie (despite being ultra-macho trucker!) does have a good point.

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I am sorry to here your bad luck Jo. I hope things improve. You are bound to have thoughts of home, when things arent going so well.

Take care.

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Daycare is quite affordable if you qualify for subsidy. You might want to check into it.
http://www.child.gov.ab.ca/whatwedo/...%20Information

If your kids are school age, after school care costs are really not so bad and are tax deductible. It might help you to settle if you had a life outside the home too.

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We are to the south in "Little England".

Thanks for your post, i'm just having a down day.
I think you're right about adults taking longer to settle, we're more aware than kids of what we've left behind (good or bad).
Having said that though, we've all made some lovely friends. Some of who i think will be friends forever, so thats good plus.

Jo xx

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Wherever we've lived has been our home. We too have resolved not to refer to past domiciles as 'home'.

We are not leaving the UK because its bad but because Canada is different and we're up for the challenge.

IMHO 'home' is a state of mind - it's where we live now. As soon as we land we'll be 'home'.

Simon & Laura:thumbup:

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See they say the same as me ,,,,but better :thumbsup:
And i'm no macho trucker:curse::curse:

despite being ultra-macho trucker!)

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Yip, things aren't so cheap when you are no longer a British tourist :blink:

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Once everything is in dollars living here financially became a total slap in the face. I figure that we are about 10% worse off as far as diposable income goes here. But then again, my son is in a class of 17 not 31, I sleep at night when my husband works away, I enjoy living in a community and it's well worth not having that 10% if it means the only way the kids get to talk to Daddy is via sattelite phone to Afghanistan or Iraq..... so it's pros and cons.

But I have had to seriously look at the whole financial thing, and at one point in our second week here nearly thought that we were going to have to chalk this down to experience! But here we are two months on and a lot less money later and we are going to keep going. It would take so much for us to give up I think now.

My very best friend had her baby three weeks ago, and yes I had a bit of a tear that I wasn't there for her. Then I had a bit more of a tear when I opened the mail box this morning and seen the photos of him. Then I took the kids to the local nature reserve for a workshop afterwards and looked at them walking through the coulees talking about nature,,,, that made me feel so much better.

You can have bad times where ever you are. And don't forget that everything passes the good times and the bad. That's why when I am having or have a had a good day I always say it out loud - even if its just to the kids. That way, it's easier to stay positive when shit does happen.

Also, I have found on days when I have felt a little lonelier to go do something I could never do in the UK.....works everytime.

All the best
Mrs M x

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Photos in the mail, how quaint, why not just download and email?

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Thats an awful way to refer to our Steve...you could at least have checked his name.:ohmy: Geez...I think you make Howard seem a whole lot nicer:frown: