Home Alone too?
Sep 17th 2010, 10:12 pm
#16
has got PPR yay baby !!!!
Joined: Dec 2005
Location: cambridge ON , but originally ...otley, west yorks
Posts: 518
Re: Home Alone too?
i cant comment ont he situation because we didnt do it .... we contemeplated hubby coming on his own for a bit but i dont think it would have worked for either of us (hes worked away before and it was awful , lol )
i hope you get things sorted fast so you can be together again
xx
i hope you get things sorted fast so you can be together again
xx
Sep 17th 2010, 10:13 pm
#17
Beep
Joined: Jan 2009
Location: Here
Posts: 8,311
Re: Home Alone too?
I am asking myself that every day
, but it is lots of boring reasons.
We have pets to transport and a house to sell. We didn't want his job offer to disappear, so we wanted him to start asap but we didn't want to risk selling everything and both moving out there in case
a) job didn't work out
b) OH thought Canada wasn't for us after all
c) PR didn't come through in time (or at all!)
in which case we would have to come back.
Also, I am a teacher, which is a regulated profession and it would be a while before I could get my BCCT registration and then jobs take time. (Could do other jobs and probably will do initially, but I love teaching and want to continue if possible.)
SO, this is the most sensible option - I can still work here as normal, OH gets to decide whether B.C really is for us without any pressure and plan is he scopes out places to live, gets bank account, builds up credit rating etc and then I tie up everything here when PR comes through
(Also exchange rate is pants - PR processing time might be enough for it to improve a bit and hopefully also UK housing market.)
BORING, but I think it is my turn to support my OH for a change - he has supported me so many times.
, but it is lots of boring reasons.We have pets to transport and a house to sell. We didn't want his job offer to disappear, so we wanted him to start asap but we didn't want to risk selling everything and both moving out there in case
a) job didn't work out
b) OH thought Canada wasn't for us after all
c) PR didn't come through in time (or at all!)
in which case we would have to come back.
Also, I am a teacher, which is a regulated profession and it would be a while before I could get my BCCT registration and then jobs take time. (Could do other jobs and probably will do initially, but I love teaching and want to continue if possible.)
SO, this is the most sensible option - I can still work here as normal, OH gets to decide whether B.C really is for us without any pressure and plan is he scopes out places to live, gets bank account, builds up credit rating etc and then I tie up everything here when PR comes through
(Also exchange rate is pants - PR processing time might be enough for it to improve a bit and hopefully also UK housing market.)BORING, but I think it is my turn to support my OH for a change - he has supported me so many times.
Sep 17th 2010, 10:24 pm
#18
Island life at last
Thread Starter
Joined: Aug 2009
Location: BC
Posts: 2,715
Re: Home Alone too?
Although, I may get one of my moods on one day and just put the cats in the kennels and get on the plane! I have been known to be somewhat impulsive. I am fighting the urge, but if I blow, I'll just go
Sep 18th 2010, 3:11 am
#19
half a century
Joined: Mar 2008
Location: Sarf Lundun to East Van :)
Posts: 10,222
Re: Home Alone too?
My oh went in the Nov, we followed in Dec -I had a riot for a month
Sep 18th 2010, 3:17 am
#20
Sawdust making harpy
Joined: Sep 2007
Location: Alberta
Posts: 11,291
Re: Home Alone too?
My o/h works away for up to 5 weeks at a time (currently on week 3 of a 4 week hitch) - I'm sad and cry when he leaves, love the time alone for the first day, then get bored shitless for the rest - hence the random nonsensical posts on here
Sep 18th 2010, 3:21 am
#21
half a century
Joined: Mar 2008
Location: Sarf Lundun to East Van :)
Posts: 10,222
Re: Home Alone too?
that doesn't surprise me
My o/h works away for up to 5 weeks at a time (currently on week 3 of a 4 week hitch) - I'm sad and cry when he leaves, love the time alone for the first day, then get bored shitless for the rest - hence the random nonsensical posts on here
My o/h works away for up to 5 weeks at a time (currently on week 3 of a 4 week hitch) - I'm sad and cry when he leaves, love the time alone for the first day, then get bored shitless for the rest - hence the random nonsensical posts on here
Sep 20th 2010, 2:18 am
#22
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Posts: 536
Re: Home Alone too?
I have been married 8 years soon and been with him 12, all through that time having a distance relationship.
It sucks some days, makes you resentful other days and fills the relationship with sentences you never got the chance to say, nights you never got to hold them, and days that you never were kissed. But something special evolves from these relationships in my view, something that runs deeper than we realise when we are in them.
There is absoloute trust, a joy of hearing the others voice, a heart that jumps when they walk in the door and the ability to turn the radio on some days and actually feel what someone sings, because you too miss your love.
If I had to choose between a marriage where we took each other for granted or the very unusual one I'm told I have, I would choose this twice over and in fact I did. It's not easy, it's not simple but absoloutely if you have the same dreams it can be worth it and is nothing that thousands of other women haven't already gone through and for much worse reasons than immigration. My marriage (after a lot of work) now is a living thing in it's own right that has to be serviced and looked after and I know that because there are usually many miles between us every day and that's ok because the time we have together, is worth all of it.
You often come across as a right pain in the arse Helcat, but best of luck to you and if all else fails, go to Ann Summers and knock yourself out
A THOUGHTFUL,
Mrs M x
It sucks some days, makes you resentful other days and fills the relationship with sentences you never got the chance to say, nights you never got to hold them, and days that you never were kissed. But something special evolves from these relationships in my view, something that runs deeper than we realise when we are in them.
There is absoloute trust, a joy of hearing the others voice, a heart that jumps when they walk in the door and the ability to turn the radio on some days and actually feel what someone sings, because you too miss your love.
If I had to choose between a marriage where we took each other for granted or the very unusual one I'm told I have, I would choose this twice over and in fact I did. It's not easy, it's not simple but absoloutely if you have the same dreams it can be worth it and is nothing that thousands of other women haven't already gone through and for much worse reasons than immigration. My marriage (after a lot of work) now is a living thing in it's own right that has to be serviced and looked after and I know that because there are usually many miles between us every day and that's ok because the time we have together, is worth all of it.
You often come across as a right pain in the arse Helcat, but best of luck to you and if all else fails, go to Ann Summers and knock yourself out
A THOUGHTFUL,
Mrs M x
Sep 20th 2010, 4:28 am
#23
Sawdust making harpy
Joined: Sep 2007
Location: Alberta
Posts: 11,291
Re: Home Alone too?
I have been married 8 years soon and been with him 12, all through that time having a distance relationship.
It sucks some days, makes you resentful other days and fills the relationship with sentences you never got the chance to say, nights you never got to hold them, and days that you never were kissed. But something special evolves from these relationships in my view, something that runs deeper than we realise when we are in them.
There is absoloute trust, a joy of hearing the others voice, a heart that jumps when they walk in the door and the ability to turn the radio on some days and actually feel what someone sings, because you too miss your love.
If I had to choose between a marriage where we took each other for granted or the very unusual one I'm told I have, I would choose this twice over and in fact I did. It's not easy, it's not simple but absoloutely if you have the same dreams it can be worth it and is nothing that thousands of other women haven't already gone through and for much worse reasons than immigration. My marriage (after a lot of work) now is a living thing in it's own right that has to be serviced and looked after and I know that because there are usually many miles between us every day and that's ok because the time we have together, is worth all of it.
You often come across as a right pain in the arse Helcat, but best of luck to you and if all else fails, go to Ann Summers and knock yourself out
A THOUGHTFUL,
Mrs M x
It sucks some days, makes you resentful other days and fills the relationship with sentences you never got the chance to say, nights you never got to hold them, and days that you never were kissed. But something special evolves from these relationships in my view, something that runs deeper than we realise when we are in them.
There is absoloute trust, a joy of hearing the others voice, a heart that jumps when they walk in the door and the ability to turn the radio on some days and actually feel what someone sings, because you too miss your love.
If I had to choose between a marriage where we took each other for granted or the very unusual one I'm told I have, I would choose this twice over and in fact I did. It's not easy, it's not simple but absoloutely if you have the same dreams it can be worth it and is nothing that thousands of other women haven't already gone through and for much worse reasons than immigration. My marriage (after a lot of work) now is a living thing in it's own right that has to be serviced and looked after and I know that because there are usually many miles between us every day and that's ok because the time we have together, is worth all of it.
You often come across as a right pain in the arse Helcat, but best of luck to you and if all else fails, go to Ann Summers and knock yourself out
A THOUGHTFUL,
Mrs M x
Sep 20th 2010, 5:02 am
#24
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Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 536
Re: Home Alone too?
Many thanks.
I think
Mrs M x
I think
Mrs M x
Sep 20th 2010, 7:16 pm
#25
half a century
Joined: Mar 2008
Location: Sarf Lundun to East Van :)
Posts: 10,222
Sep 20th 2010, 9:54 pm
#26
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Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 536
Re: Home Alone too?
Now that I read it back, it was definitely um, pointed?
Sep 21st 2010, 1:37 am
#27
Displaced Disgrace
Joined: Sep 2008
Location: HRM N.S.
Posts: 745
Re: Home Alone too?
More rounded one would hope..
Sep 22nd 2010, 9:31 pm
#28
Island life at last
Thread Starter
Joined: Aug 2009
Location: BC
Posts: 2,715
Re: Home Alone too?
Hmmmm.... Don't think Anne Summers has got what I am looking for, unfortunately
I wish it did!
I seem to be going through a cycle where I get upset and mope, then give myself a good kicking for being so c**p, get loads of jobs done and feel happier, then that wears off and I go back to feeling upset again.That's what is getting to me. I never know how I am going to feel from one minute to the next and I am usually quite practical and sensible.
I know the deep trust described here and I have no fear of this harming us as a couple, I am just finding the physical separation such a shock to the system after 17 years of almost constant shared living. We both feel like only half a person, if you know what I mean.
I am usually the talker and OH is the quieter one, but now I am pretty much silent for the majority of our Skype time and have nothing to say at all. Mundane daily concerns seem so trivial and not worth saying and what I want to say doesn't need saying - he knows it already.
It would be nice to know when this phase might end and some kind of holding pattern take over until we can be back together properly (date dependent on PR, so as yet unknown.)
I wish it did!I seem to be going through a cycle where I get upset and mope, then give myself a good kicking for being so c**p, get loads of jobs done and feel happier, then that wears off and I go back to feeling upset again.That's what is getting to me. I never know how I am going to feel from one minute to the next and I am usually quite practical and sensible.
I know the deep trust described here and I have no fear of this harming us as a couple, I am just finding the physical separation such a shock to the system after 17 years of almost constant shared living. We both feel like only half a person, if you know what I mean.
I am usually the talker and OH is the quieter one, but now I am pretty much silent for the majority of our Skype time and have nothing to say at all. Mundane daily concerns seem so trivial and not worth saying and what I want to say doesn't need saying - he knows it already.
It would be nice to know when this phase might end and some kind of holding pattern take over until we can be back together properly (date dependent on PR, so as yet unknown.)
Sep 23rd 2010, 1:37 am
#29
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Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 536
Re: Home Alone too?
The whole idea of normalization of any situation is totally relevant to the individual.
The more you look at the negatives of the situation the harder it's going to be, although I understand why you are doing so fully. It's totally up to you really, as surely its about how you frame your current moment in time. If you frame it as being lost and mundane then it's going to be a more difficult than if you search for the opportunity that lies within the period to positively reframe this time.
Sincere good luck x
The more you look at the negatives of the situation the harder it's going to be, although I understand why you are doing so fully. It's totally up to you really, as surely its about how you frame your current moment in time. If you frame it as being lost and mundane then it's going to be a more difficult than if you search for the opportunity that lies within the period to positively reframe this time.
Sincere good luck x
Sep 23rd 2010, 1:50 am
#30
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Location: Norfolk
Posts: 417
Re: Home Alone too?
I'd say take the opportunity to spend time with friends and family. You'll be leaving them soon so make the most of it while you can.
You have to look for the positives and keep living your life, not putting it on hold. (I have been there and done it on quite a few occasions)
Good luck
You have to look for the positives and keep living your life, not putting it on hold. (I have been there and done it on quite a few occasions)
Good luck