Originally Posted by JamesM

Well well well- here comes Mr Helpful himself

Originally Posted by Alan2005

I'll tell you something about living here - the christmas cracker jokes are really shit; especially the french ones. I know shitness is something you expect from such things, but fcking hell these were bad. French canadians must have an even worse sense of humour than normal canadians.

Originally Posted by Alan2005

I'll tell you something about living here - the christmas cracker jokes are really shit; especially the french ones. I know shitness is something you expect from such things, but fcking hell these were bad. French canadians must have an even worse sense of humour than normal canadians.

Originally Posted by Novocastrian

Christmas crackers are unknown in France and likely in Quebec too. I've always put the problem down to the difficulty of making pains in French.

Originally Posted by Alan2005

I don't think they really understand them in this part of canada either. Sometimes there wasn't even a joke. One had "Q: if you have 3 meals a day in july, how many meals would you eat? A: 93" - ffs, reading that nearly spoilt my dinner. Still at least they had the hat and I got a mini rubiks cube in mine which I thought was quite fancy compared to the plastic moustache I usually get.

Originally Posted by Novocastrian

There you are, you missed the joke. I'm sure it said "quatre-vins treize". Hilarious. Very.

Originally Posted by Alan2005

I don't think they really understand them in this part of canada either. Sometimes there wasn't even a joke. One had "Q: if you have 3 meals a day in july, how many meals would you eat? A: 93" - ffs, reading that nearly spoilt my dinner. Still at least they had the hat and I got a mini rubiks cube in mine which I thought was quite fancy compared to the plastic moustache I usually get.

Originally Posted by TheBear

I arrived in Canada back in July. I have loved it here from the get go. Yes I get annoyed at a few things, like we are totally ripped off here on certain items, the TV is total rubbish (thank goodness iPlayer is now available here) and the 401 makes the M25 look like a quiet country road full of polite thoughtful people, but I know that this place is way better than the country I was born in and lived in for 43 years. Going back at Christmas totally confirmed this.

England is a DREARY OVERPRICED CHAV INFESTED DUMP.

I saw the sun for about 10 minutes for the whole of the week I was there. I was gobsmacked at how small my friends houses felt after getting used to sizes here. The aggression and general look on people's faces was depressing. I had a group of drunken chavs pick a fight with me on Christmas day. Everywhere looked a bit run down and worn out. Lots of stuff was expensive, and especially houses still. Even villages that I once thought were cute just looked grim.

The only thing I miss about the UK is the wonderful friends and family I have left behind, but with time, hard work and patience, I will develop a good social network here.

Basically, I couldn't wait to get home...Canada.

Originally Posted by Oink

I know what yo mean, the 'jokes' were really crappy and I like crappy Christmas cracker jokes. I seem to remember the toys were particularly good although I was little tipsy and HID scooped them all up to bribe the kids at school.

To help you out as I did win an award lately.

What did the slug say to the snail? 'Big Issue, sir?'

What has four legs and says, "Aaaa'?
A sheep with no lips.

How to women get minks? Same as minks get minks.

Originally Posted by Cyan

It's clear that some people here can't separate the idyllic setting of Vicar of Dibley from the reality of living in the UK.

Originally Posted by Lorry1

and the fact that people don't socialise in a pub

Originally Posted by ergyngfeld

Pubs are probably the one thing I miss the most, actually. Seems like plenty of people agree with me, since the few pubs that do exist here always seem to be rammed with expats!

Originally Posted by teacher1000

I'm fairly new here but I saw this thread and thought it would be appropriate to share what living in the uk as a Canadian is like. I moved to the uk 4 years ago now to marry and have had the worst 4 years of my life. My marriage is fantastic but living in this hell hole is anything but. People here are outrageously rude and stuck up their own asses. I've yet in the 4 years I've lived here met anyone id actually want to stay in contact with. The government policies are just laughable and terrible, the work situation is griiiim... I've been out of work for ages. When I was working, I was abused by my manager, sworn at, gossiped about and put down constantly for my work which to anyone else but my manager was fine. In fact I quit that job actually after my psycho boss punched the printer and spent half an hour ranting about something which was not my fault.
She actually had a drug problem and brought her weed to work but no one had the balls to say boo to this lady and till this day, she's still employed there.
Anyway, the housing market is ridiculous here. You will get like a semi detached property for like 280-300 thousand £, and it will be hidious on the outside and most likely have about 1000 sqr ft on the inside. Rip off. In Canada I could buy a beautiful home with like 2000 sqr ft for same price in dollers.
People are always going to defend where they are from but Canada is one of the best places in the world to live. As for Canadians, we aren't boring, we just have good morals. I know I have much better things to do with my time than to waste every single evening down at a pub getting wasted.
Btw I am moving back to Canada hopefully with my husband this year so it's not all bad news. One things for sure, once I leave this anti social, disgustingly filthy place I'll never ever come back.

Originally Posted by Lord Vader

lol, I love the reaction to your post. I feel vindicated. The irony has missed many of them though, ironically.

Originally Posted by Novocastrian

Irony? I don't think I've contributed to this thread because it's silly, but I don't think Canadians do irony.