Feeling homesick - 6 months in Calgary

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Nov 26th 2015, 3:55 pm

#16

Shard

Joined: Nov 2012

Location: UK

Posts: 24,474

Re: Feeling homesick - 6 months in Calgary

Quote:

Originally Posted by beckiwoo

I agree Vancouver is very strange for breaking into social circles. A few British friends have said the same thing as well as Canadian friends from other provinces. It has been difficult to make male friends though as most are either married, uninterested in friendship or want something else

I also sometimes think that because I'm not a size 0, petite, yoga obsessed, frenchbull dog owner living in a condo that goes against me lol - who could say.

Just sniff out the out-of-towners and hang with them. I find true Vancouverites very smug, I think they are told so many times from a young age that they live "in the best place on earth" that they truly believe it. Torontonians tend to think they live in the best city in Canada, but they know full well it's not New York, it's not even Chicago. Rest of Canada is a bit more down to earth.

Last edited by Shard; Nov 26th 2015 at 3:57 pm.

Nov 26th 2015, 4:02 pm

#17

Oink

Joined: Sep 2008

Posts: 20,185

Re: Feeling homesick - 6 months in Calgary

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shard

Just sniff out the out-of-towners and hang with them. I find true Vancouverites very smug, I think they are told so many times from a young age that they live "in the best place on earth" that they truly believe it. Torontonians tend to think they live in the best city in Canada, but they know full well it's not New York, it's not even Chicago. Rest of Canada is a bit more down to earth.

You're pretty bang on here but rather than smugness, I think its a more insecurity and narcissism. It is this mix that makes them rather unpleasant people.

Nov 26th 2015, 4:04 pm

#18

Shard

Joined: Nov 2012

Location: UK

Posts: 24,474

Re: Feeling homesick - 6 months in Calgary

Quote:

Originally Posted by Oink

You're pretty bang on here but rather than smugness, I think its a more insecurity and narcissism. It is this mix that makes them rather unpleasant people.

Narcissism, yes. But insecurity?

Nov 26th 2015, 4:17 pm

#19

Oink

Joined: Sep 2008

Posts: 20,185

Re: Feeling homesick - 6 months in Calgary

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shard

Narcissism, yes. But insecurity?

I believe so. While it may not be a very large sample the ones I've interacted with seem to have a deep vein of insecurity. Culturally speaking, being Canadian must be a very hollow and impotent experience. I think its why it manifests itself as jealously and passive-aggressive vengefulness.

Of course my analysis may be somewhat influenced by the awful fact that we've just run out of chocolate biscuits.

Last edited by Oink; Nov 26th 2015 at 4:19 pm.

Nov 26th 2015, 4:32 pm

#20

JamesM

Dive Bar Drunk

Joined: Nov 2006

Location: Toronto

Posts: 8,648

Re: Feeling homesick - 6 months in Calgary

Quote:

Originally Posted by beckiwoo

I'm the other way, it is male friends I miss. I have loads in the UK and very few here. I also don't have a partner (even after a year of being here but that is probably because I am in Vancouver - a dater's nightmare). I'm sure Calgary is easier for that sort of thing.

Yoga is great but like the gym, it probably won't get you meeting people. I used to do dancing in the UK and met loads of girl friends through that but when I tried it here it was very clicky and again didn't meet anyone.

My work colleagues are the people I am closest to.

1) Go to local dive bar.

2) Pull up stool and order alcohol.

3) Life improves in Canada.

I can't make life any simpler for you folks. All I can do is repeat the recipe.

Nov 26th 2015, 5:32 pm

#21

Scottishgirl89

Just Joined

Thread Starter

Joined: Nov 2015

Posts: 4

Scottishgirl89 is an unknown quantity at this point

Re: Feeling homesick - 6 months in Calgary

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shard

How about joiñing the Scottish society and taking up the bagpipes or something?

Now there is an idea! We can eat haggis and wear kilts right?

Thanks everyone for your advice - I'll stick at it and keep my chin up. Looking forward to seeing the family at Christmas!

Nov 26th 2015, 5:47 pm

#22

haggis88

BE Forum Addict

Joined: Dec 2011

Location: Back in Scotland after 4 years in Calgary

Posts: 1,403

Re: Feeling homesick - 6 months in Calgary

If you find decent haggis in Calgary, let me know...the stuff from the so called "best place" in Calgary is pretty horrible, even the stuff out of the tin is better!

Nov 26th 2015, 5:50 pm

#23

haggis88

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Joined: Dec 2011

Location: Back in Scotland after 4 years in Calgary

Posts: 1,403

Re: Feeling homesick - 6 months in Calgary

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scottishgirl89

Why do you say especially in Canada?

I've found (as have many others on here going by posts) that cradles are very insular people (especially Albertans) and don't seem to move too far outside of a certain social group, usually highschool/college friends...most of the people i "hang out" with are expats, because they actually want to go out and do stuff...even if it is just going downtown for a pissup

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scottishgirl89

I moved over by myself - it was a good work opportunity. It's a secondment for 3 years, if I like it I can stay and if I don't I can move back to London.

I did the same, 3 years ago

it wasn't a secondment though...and then I got 'laid off' a year and a half ago...almost went home at that point!

Nov 26th 2015, 5:59 pm

#24

Oink

Joined: Sep 2008

Posts: 20,185

Re: Feeling homesick - 6 months in Calgary

Quote:

Originally Posted by beckiwoo

I also sometimes think that because I'm not a size 0, petite, yoga obsessed, frenchbull dog owner living in a condo that goes against me lol - who could say.

Whistker is not my idea of fun. Great for snowboarding and looking round the village but it is all a very young crowd up there who want to party and pass out the next morning - those days are over for me.

I have already thought about moving away from Vancouver but I love my job and the people and it is difficult, especially to up sticks and start all over again somewhere else.

Then again, I am not getting any younger

You want to put yourself out there, try dress a provocatively. Canadians don't like to work too hard so if it looks like a sure thing, you should be in business.

Nov 26th 2015, 6:12 pm

#25

el_richo

Beep

Joined: Jan 2009

Location: Here

Posts: 8,311

Re: Feeling homesick - 6 months in Calgary

Canada's like hemorrhoids. You get used to it if you have to put up with it long enough.

Anyway, who needs close friends and family close by when you can show them what a great life and decision you made via facebook.

On the downside, if you still don't like it after a year or two, your friends will have moved on when you move back home so you'll have to piss around making new ones anyway

Nov 26th 2015, 6:21 pm

#26

haggis88

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Joined: Dec 2011

Location: Back in Scotland after 4 years in Calgary

Posts: 1,403

Re: Feeling homesick - 6 months in Calgary

Quote:

Originally Posted by el_richo

On the downside, if you still don't like it after a year or two, your friends will have moved on when you move back home so you'll have to piss around making new ones anyway

I dunno about that

I popped over to Scotland last month after finishing a job in Portugal, and the only thing that's changed is people have gotten older...everything else is still the same, no-one has even moved house in the 3 and a half years since i left

Nov 26th 2015, 8:10 pm

#27

beckiwoo

Bex in the city

Joined: Jun 2013

Location: Vancouver, BC

Posts: 3,899

Re: Feeling homesick - 6 months in Calgary

Quote:

Originally Posted by JamesM

1) Go to local dive bar. 2) Pull up stool and order alcohol. 3) Life improves in Canada. I can't make life any simpler for you folks. All I can do is repeat the recipe.

Yes you have suggested this before and I may do this if this meet up goes t*ts up.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Oink

You want to put yourself out there, try dress a provocatively. Canadians don't like to work too hard so if it looks like a sure thing, you should be in business.

yes I have noticed this among the male population of Vancouver. One of the worst 'dates' I ever went on was a guy originally from Winnipeg. He turned up late in a location in Kits, in a white stained sweater (maybe from coffee), we went to a coffee shop, I had my gym stuff with me (as I had been that morning) he grabbed his food and cutlery/condiments but did not offer to get any of that stuff for me for me and just sat down- where as I struggled with my back and just expected him to offer to grab the cutlery and stuff. We then sat there for nearly an hour with nothing to say. He then made an a excuse to leave saying his female friend (girlfriend maybe?) was waiting for him and he had to go. Never heard from him again. Was it because I wasn't a supermodel or because I wouldnt sleep with him - who knows? The guy was an accountant who lived in Burnaby - pretty messed up I have so many of these stories that I should just write a book

Nov 27th 2015, 3:28 am

#28

el_richo

Beep

Joined: Jan 2009

Location: Here

Posts: 8,311

Re: Feeling homesick - 6 months in Calgary

Quote:

Originally Posted by haggis88

I don't mean they actually move or change as such. More that they go on without you until they're not really bothered where you're home or not

Nov 27th 2015, 7:44 am

#29

Shard

Joined: Nov 2012

Location: UK

Posts: 24,474

Re: Feeling homesick - 6 months in Calgary

Quote:

Originally Posted by beckiwoo

had to go. Never heard from him again. Was it because I wasn't a supermodel or because I wouldnt sleep with him - who knows? The guy was an accountant who lived in Burnaby - pretty messed up I have so many of these stories that I should just write a book

Becky Jones Diary ?