BristolUK

Yes, thank you. Having all the little things cropping up at the moment...like step daughter reading something in a book that her mum was familiar with and wanting to say something about it to her.

Or coming across a grocery item like her favourite ice cream not opened yet.

And more....

But we're getting through.

Shirtback

Re bold: For what it's worth : my sister & I still do this. Mum's been gone 2 years. We still "talk" to her everyday [wobbly smilie]. We tend to worry when she replies !

Consuming the last "cooked/bought by mum" items from the freezer was tough .

X

SchnookoLoly

This made me think of something I read a few weeks back. It's an emotional read, but it touches on the same stuff.

http://www.reddit.com/r/offmychest/c...ad_of_laundry/

Shirtback

That's a tough read, Schnooks.

Howefamily

oh my. My deepest condolences to you, thats a terrible week.

BristolUK

Tough alone. Luckily I'm not.

Tootlepootle

Working with people to arrange Funerals I often warn them that it is not the big things that trip them up but the little things. The way someone might say something, a funny phrase, a weird habit, or even a special foodstuff that brings the tears, but often they bring smiles too. It's tough, you don't ever get over it, your just learn to live with it in a different way. Love and prayers to you all.

BEVS

Yup. Mum has been gone for 18 years and Dad for 6. If they ever reply back, I shall never speak to them again !

True. You do.

Day by day BristolUK. It is very early days yet but as you say, you will get through.

I read that your avatar is an urn BristolUK. It is beautiful.

BristolUK

Yes it is. I was surprised what alternatives to traditional were available. It's called 'Teardrop' and sits on a shelf next to her dad's.

moneypenny20

That's lovely. The traditional ones are very bleugh, that is a beautiful thing to have on display.

Rosemary

The urn is absolutely beautiful. You are going through the worst time of your life so be very patient with yourself, do not force yourself to do certain "milestones" by certain dates because someone has told you that you should. Each person experiences grief in their own unique way so remember that at all times and do not let anyone tell you what you should or should not be feeling. Yes there is a process to it all but there are no definite steps, no set path and also there is no set timeline but instead it is a series of taking little steps forward into the different life that you now lead.

If you want to shout and scream at someone feel free to pm me as I have been a bereavement counsellor for years so am unshockable and I have also walked the tightrope of bereavement as I lost my soulmate almost 3 years ago.

Rosemary

SchnookoLoly

+1 for the gorgeous urn.

MillieF

I didn't know what your new avatar was Bristol, and I just Googled it and got a bigger picture, what a beautiful thing.

Siouxie

You don't forget, you just learn to cherish their memory - thinking of them brings a little smile and a chuckle of remembrance of something they said or did. Birthdays, anniversaries and Christmas are the hardest days, wishing they were still around to share them.

Thinking of you Bristol, I completely understand how hard it is but know that you can get through it. Don't let anyone tell you how you 'should' be feeling, just feel what ever, when ever.


<<hugs>>

Piff Poff

Bristol, The urn is beautiful. Don't hurry your grief, don't bottle up your feelings and put on a brave face - no one expects you to be brave.

It's coming upto the three year anniversary of my Mum's passing, I can now look at her photos and not cry, I can't look for long at her mini urn, I feel at some point I need to scatter her ashes but I'm not ready and there is still a mini urn with googley eyes experiencing the everyday things (look for toots adventures on fb), when my sister is ready to let her go she will. I received a welcome to your new home card a week after Mum died, it was the last thing she ever wrote - I can't look at that. I cherish the smell of cigarette smoke when it strangely pervades the bedroom, it doesn't happen so much anymore.

Grief is hard, it's painful and can be debilitating and it can pop up from no where, all of a sudden, on a happy day, don't ever feel guilty if you need a moment to surrender to it.