do you indulge in spanking
Oct 4th 2008, 6:54 pm
#121
Cynically amused.
Joined: Oct 2002
Location: BC
Posts: 3,648
Re: do you indulge in spanking
Most, if not all of the serious physical harm cases I deal with, are from (religious) fundamentalist families. This is not to start a rant against any particular faith, this is just my reality as a CP worker. Obviously I cannot be too specific, but one of the few cases which has brought me to tears was a six year old, so regularly spanked with spoons, belts and hands, he had scar tissue and weeping welts all over his bottom and legs. But, the excuse I hear all the time is that these parents spank "in the name of God, and only with love". (Yes really :curse
. I nearly got fired a few months ago for telling a room full of church elders precisely what I thought of that excuse for child abuse. 
. I nearly got fired a few months ago for telling a room full of church elders precisely what I thought of that excuse for child abuse.
Oct 4th 2008, 6:58 pm
#122
Account Closed
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 7,284
Re: do you indulge in spanking
Most, if not all of the serious physical harm cases I deal with, are from (religious) fundamentalist families. This is not to start a rant against any particular faith, this is just my reality as a CP worker. Obviously I cannot be too specific, but one of the few cases which has brought me to tears was a six year old, so regularly spanked with spoons, belts and hands, he had scar tissue and weeping welts all over his bottom and legs. But, the excuse I hear all the time is that these parents spank "in the name of God, and only with love". (Yes really :curse. I nearly got fired a few months ago for telling a room full of church elders precisely what I thought of that excuse for child abuse.
. I nearly got fired a few months ago for telling a room full of church elders precisely what I thought of that excuse for child abuse.
Oct 4th 2008, 6:58 pm
#123
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Nov 2007
Location: back in Cambs
Posts: 7,157
Re: do you indulge in spanking
Ok. I didn't want to get seriously involved in this thread at least until it drifted into safety. But I'm in Germany, six hours ahead, slightly drunk and on the internet and so why not?
I recall several occasions when either I or one of my two sisters fell foul of house rules (eldest of us perhaps 9) and were told that we'd get a spanking when Daddy gets home. By our mother.
Sure enough, that did happen, but the spanking was nothing compared to the (sometimes) hours of threatened introspection.
The upshot was (perhaps wrongly so) that all three of us became totally alienated from our father as we moved into independent adulthood.
He died in 1989 and none of us actually cared.
I recall several occasions when either I or one of my two sisters fell foul of house rules (eldest of us perhaps 9) and were told that we'd get a spanking when Daddy gets home. By our mother.
Sure enough, that did happen, but the spanking was nothing compared to the (sometimes) hours of threatened introspection.
The upshot was (perhaps wrongly so) that all three of us became totally alienated from our father as we moved into independent adulthood.
He died in 1989 and none of us actually cared.
i was terrified of my father it has left me with much deeper scares than i will ever poss know, too painful to go into but i also remember the threats.
Last edited by Coffeepot; Oct 4th 2008 at 7:03 pm. Reason: sneezed and hit button by mistake before finishing
Oct 4th 2008, 6:59 pm
#124
Forum Regular
Joined: Jul 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 176
Re: do you indulge in spanking
Are you saying i'm not. Cheers for that !
Oct 4th 2008, 6:59 pm
#125
Born again atheist
Joined: Jul 2005
Location: Europe (to be specified).
Posts: 30,259
Re: do you indulge in spanking
Most, if not all of the serious physical harm cases I deal with, are from (religious) fundamentalist families. This is not to start a rant against any particular faith, this is just my reality as a CP worker. Obviously I cannot be too specific, but one of the few cases which has brought me to tears was a six year old, so regularly spanked with spoons, belts and hands, he had scar tissue and weeping welts all over his bottom and legs. But, the excuse I hear all the time is that these parents spank "in the name of God, and only with love". (Yes really :curse. I nearly got fired a few months ago for telling a room full of church elders precisely what I thought of that excuse for child abuse.
. I nearly got fired a few months ago for telling a room full of church elders precisely what I thought of that excuse for child abuse.
Oct 4th 2008, 7:05 pm
#126
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Nov 2007
Location: back in Cambs
Posts: 7,157
Re: do you indulge in spanking
Most, if not all of the serious physical harm cases I deal with, are from (religious) fundamentalist families. This is not to start a rant against any particular faith, this is just my reality as a CP worker. Obviously I cannot be too specific, but one of the few cases which has brought me to tears was a six year old, so regularly spanked with spoons, belts and hands, he had scar tissue and weeping welts all over his bottom and legs. But, the excuse I hear all the time is that these parents spank "in the name of God, and only with love". (Yes really :curse. I nearly got fired a few months ago for telling a room full of church elders precisely what I thought of that excuse for child abuse.
. I nearly got fired a few months ago for telling a room full of church elders precisely what I thought of that excuse for child abuse. poor children,Well done for telling the elders off DB
Oct 4th 2008, 7:10 pm
#127
Account Closed
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 7,284
Re: do you indulge in spanking
Yes you can inflict pain mentally as well, and not mean to be cruel, or realise the ramifications.
In my family we had to do things properly, we had to have standards, be decent honest people. This is all good and desirable. The problem came when it wasnt brought about without huge dollops of criticism and negativity. An example of that is when I was a hippy teenager in the 1960s and dressing as one, instead of grasping the fashion and the concept, my parents laughed at me. Methusalah's mother was one comparison, the Wreck of the Hesperus was another. If I got a commended work at school then I was asked why I couldnt do that all the time. Many things were done "for our own good". My poor mum wonders why her only granddaughter doesnt visit her, its because she criticises all the time.
Its a minefield being parent. Glad I missed that boat
In my family we had to do things properly, we had to have standards, be decent honest people. This is all good and desirable. The problem came when it wasnt brought about without huge dollops of criticism and negativity. An example of that is when I was a hippy teenager in the 1960s and dressing as one, instead of grasping the fashion and the concept, my parents laughed at me. Methusalah's mother was one comparison, the Wreck of the Hesperus was another. If I got a commended work at school then I was asked why I couldnt do that all the time. Many things were done "for our own good". My poor mum wonders why her only granddaughter doesnt visit her, its because she criticises all the time.
Its a minefield being parent. Glad I missed that boat
Oct 4th 2008, 7:20 pm
#128
Forum Regular
Joined: Jul 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 176
Re: do you indulge in spanking
Most, if not all of the serious physical harm cases I deal with, are from (religious) fundamentalist families. This is not to start a rant against any particular faith, this is just my reality as a CP worker. Obviously I cannot be too specific, but one of the few cases which has brought me to tears was a six year old, so regularly spanked with spoons, belts and hands, he had scar tissue and weeping welts all over his bottom and legs. But, the excuse I hear all the time is that these parents spank "in the name of God, and only with love". (Yes really :curse. I nearly got fired a few months ago for telling a room full of church elders precisely what I thought of that excuse for child abuse.
. I nearly got fired a few months ago for telling a room full of church elders precisely what I thought of that excuse for child abuse. 
,.. not bothering with school, getting into trouble etc) and pretty much rebelled against everything ! Just his view and strong personality since a young kid. He's still kind of the same 
, only in an adult version - makes me laugh lol.I really didn't want to get down to personal stuff,.. but what the hell. Unfortunately my dad is an alcoholic (different story I know), but you may like to hear he has recovered and I have no grudge, although my bro still does. He's actually a very loving and caring person, (I always realised that, deep down when I was a kid, though many times I found it confusing), it has scarred
. But, now that he's sober he's proving what I believed him to be and knew, and that is an extremely caring person; helping all, the homeless, charities, addicts etc.. with psychological prob's.My mum well,.. I blame her background and hormones lol.
Am over it now though !!
Last edited by Katie76; Oct 4th 2008 at 7:44 pm. Reason: habit this :)
Oct 4th 2008, 8:41 pm
#129
Happy in NB
Joined: Sep 2005
Location: Island View, New Brunswick
Posts: 2,020
Re: do you indulge in spanking
Most, if not all of the serious physical harm cases I deal with, are from (religious) fundamentalist families. This is not to start a rant against any particular faith, this is just my reality as a CP worker. Obviously I cannot be too specific, but one of the few cases which has brought me to tears was a six year old, so regularly spanked with spoons, belts and hands, he had scar tissue and weeping welts all over his bottom and legs. But, the excuse I hear all the time is that these parents spank "in the name of God, and only with love". (Yes really :curse. I nearly got fired a few months ago for telling a room full of church elders precisely what I thought of that excuse for child abuse.
. I nearly got fired a few months ago for telling a room full of church elders precisely what I thought of that excuse for child abuse. I was caned at school and it certainly kept me in line.
My mum used to administer physical punishment with a variety of objects (depends what she had in her hand at the time). I never thought about it much, mainly because you think that your family is normal and that is what is done to everyone. I learnt later on that she felt trapped in a marriage with three young children and was completely frustrated by my father 'playing away'.
Did it effect me?
Not that much, it didnt turn me into a psyhcologically disturbed person. I think the lack of hugs and display of affection has had far more effect on me than being whipped around the legs with a dog lead.
My life experiences in the real world after leaving home (I joined the army) had more impact on me mentally than anything my mum dished out.
Oct 4th 2008, 8:48 pm
#130
Happy in NB
Joined: Sep 2005
Location: Island View, New Brunswick
Posts: 2,020
Re: do you indulge in spanking
"It seems to me that you look at this with a black or white filter, you have no shades of gray. 8 or 9 spanks in early childhood ISN'T the same as beating them weekly for no other reason than to let them know who is in charge."
Oct 4th 2008, 9:08 pm
#131
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Nov 2007
Location: back in Cambs
Posts: 7,157
Re: do you indulge in spanking
Sorry to make you feel smug but it was a typo I meant to type
"It seems to me that you look at this with a black or white filter, you have no shades of gray. 8 or 9 spanks in early childhood ISN'T the same as beating them weekly for no other reason than to let them know who is in charge."
"It seems to me that you look at this with a black or white filter, you have no shades of gray. 8 or 9 spanks in early childhood ISN'T the same as beating them weekly for no other reason than to let them know who is in charge."
Oct 4th 2008, 9:15 pm
#132
Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah
Joined: Jun 2007
Location: Regina Beach, Saskatchewan
Posts: 3,885
Re: do you indulge in spanking
This is the other end of the spectrum from parental spanking.
I was caned at school and it certainly kept me in line.
My mum used to administer physical punishment with a variety of objects (depends what she had in her hand at the time). I never thought about it much, mainly because you think that your family is normal and that is what is done to everyone. I learnt later on that she felt trapped in a marriage with three young children and was completely frustrated by my father 'playing away'.
Did it effect me?
Not that much, it didnt turn me into a psyhcologically disturbed person. I think the lack of hugs and display of affection has had far more effect on me than being whipped around the legs with a dog lead.
My life experiences in the real world after leaving home (I joined the army) had more impact on me mentally than anything my mum dished out.
I was caned at school and it certainly kept me in line.
My mum used to administer physical punishment with a variety of objects (depends what she had in her hand at the time). I never thought about it much, mainly because you think that your family is normal and that is what is done to everyone. I learnt later on that she felt trapped in a marriage with three young children and was completely frustrated by my father 'playing away'.
Did it effect me?
Not that much, it didnt turn me into a psyhcologically disturbed person. I think the lack of hugs and display of affection has had far more effect on me than being whipped around the legs with a dog lead.
My life experiences in the real world after leaving home (I joined the army) had more impact on me mentally than anything my mum dished out.
Oct 4th 2008, 9:54 pm
#133
Forum Regular
Joined: Jul 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 176
Re: do you indulge in spanking
Sorry to make you feel smug but it was a typo I meant to type
"It seems to me that you look at this with a black or white filter, you have no shades of gray. 8 or 9 spanks in early childhood ISN'T the same as beating them weekly for no other reason than to let them know who is in charge."
"It seems to me that you look at this with a black or white filter, you have no shades of gray. 8 or 9 spanks in early childhood ISN'T the same as beating them weekly for no other reason than to let them know who is in charge."
!I'm with Coffeepot's statement after (^this) post.
Oct 4th 2008, 10:00 pm
#134
Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah
Joined: Jun 2007
Location: Regina Beach, Saskatchewan
Posts: 3,885
Re: do you indulge in spanking
Dave's statement didn't say 8 or 9 smacks to make him feel in charge, he wrote that 8 or 9 smacks isn't the same as beating someone just to make the abuser feel they are in charge. Hope that made sense, it did to me.
This seems to be an emotive subject for you, please be careful and look after yourself
This seems to be an emotive subject for you, please be careful and look after yourself
Oct 4th 2008, 10:31 pm
#135
Forum Regular
Joined: Jul 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 176
Re: do you indulge in spanking
Dave's statement didn't say 8 or 9 smacks to make him feel in charge, he wrote that 8 or 9 smacks isn't the same as beating someone just to make the abuser feel they are in charge. Hope that made sense, it did to me.
This seems to be an emotive subject for you, please be careful and look after yourself
This seems to be an emotive subject for you, please be careful and look after yourself
Nothing wrong with emotive opinions,.. well I never thought anyhow
. Just different opinions. Everyone's different, this is a worldwide forum, not just for the Canadians or whoever,.. or have I jumped the fence ?
Shhhh' t,.. man, how high do you want them !!!? As said before,.. I seriously didn't realise we needed a ticket ?
Last edited by Katie76; Oct 4th 2008 at 10:38 pm. Reason: crap typing
