do you indulge in spanking
Oct 1st 2008, 9:32 pm
#46
Account Closed
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 7,284
Re: do you indulge in spanking
Indulge in spanking - no, we get no pleasure from having to spank either of our kids - although this rarely happens. However my brother, sister and I were spanked on the rare occasion as kids, and we turned out ok.
We have found especially with my 4 year old daughter katie that withholding privileges such as swimming, hockey, etc., things that she really loves is a far more effective way to discipline our wildly enthusiastic daughter.
We have found especially with my 4 year old daughter katie that withholding privileges such as swimming, hockey, etc., things that she really loves is a far more effective way to discipline our wildly enthusiastic daughter.
My twopennyworth. Spanking, slapping, is just plain wrong, its wrong when its an adult being assaulted and even more wrong when its a child.
Oct 1st 2008, 10:26 pm
#48
Sawdust making harpy
Joined: Sep 2007
Location: Alberta
Posts: 11,291
Re: do you indulge in spanking
Nope not on the kids anyone else is fair game! 
Joking aside if you spend quality time with your kids and they are disciplined correctly from day one there's not the need.
I tell a lie actually I smacked my oldest daughter ages ago and felt so bad about it that I cried, it was me that lost my temper and that isn't good.
Joking aside if you spend quality time with your kids and they are disciplined correctly from day one there's not the need.
I tell a lie actually I smacked my oldest daughter ages ago and felt so bad about it that I cried, it was me that lost my temper and that isn't good.
Oct 1st 2008, 11:10 pm
#49
Banned
Joined: Dec 2005
Location: In Limbo
Posts: 15,706
Re: do you indulge in spanking
Nope not on the kids anyone else is fair game!
Joking aside if you spend quality time with your kids and they are disciplined correctly from day one there's not the need.
I tell a lie actually I smacked my oldest daughter ages ago and felt so bad about it that I cried, it was me that lost my temper and that isn't good.
Joking aside if you spend quality time with your kids and they are disciplined correctly from day one there's not the need.
I tell a lie actually I smacked my oldest daughter ages ago and felt so bad about it that I cried, it was me that lost my temper and that isn't good.
Oct 2nd 2008, 7:45 am
#51
Cynically amused.
Joined: Oct 2002
Location: BC
Posts: 3,648
Re: do you indulge in spanking
I use the "Paddington Hard Stare" method. My lot scatter like ants when they see that.
Oct 2nd 2008, 8:30 am
#52
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Nov 2007
Location: back in Cambs
Posts: 7,157
Re: do you indulge in spanking
Nope not on the kids anyone else is fair game!
Joking aside if you spend quality time with your kids and they are disciplined correctly from day one there's not the need.
I tell a lie actually I smacked my oldest daughter ages ago and felt so bad about it that I cried, it was me that lost my temper and that isn't good.
Joking aside if you spend quality time with your kids and they are disciplined correctly from day one there's not the need.
I tell a lie actually I smacked my oldest daughter ages ago and felt so bad about it that I cried, it was me that lost my temper and that isn't good.
same hear MMC i smacked mine because i didn't know how to deal with them and i am the first to admit it was very wrong , i have talked to the boys about it since they are okay with it but insist they will never smack there kids I find it strange when people say they grew up with a smack and it didn't harm them, Lots of children grow up perfectly ok with awful things happening in there child hood, i for one can speak from personal experience of this, i have no doubt there are lots of people on this site of a similar age that have been through some horrible experiences and turned out OK
Does that mean its okay for them to go through the same ? because we turned out OK wonder how many didn't ?
We have the means and the knowhow to deal without violence even a tap ( how do you define that ? why do it at all if its not meant to hurt ?? )on a child is wrong.
If everyone spent more time with there children listening and playing instead of rushing from A to B all the time got to get them to do this activity or that and include them im sure there would be a lot less reason to discipline there children and more respect from them in later years,
Children need to feel loved and valued im not saying they aren't loved if you smack them surely you wouldn't hit your wife or husband if they did something you didn't like ?
The other thing is be consistent no good allowing them to do something one day and then not the next.
Oct 2nd 2008, 8:31 am
#53
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Nov 2007
Location: back in Cambs
Posts: 7,157
Oct 2nd 2008, 11:46 am
#54
Forum Regular
Joined: Jul 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 176
Re: do you indulge in spanking
I have never smacked my 7 year old, We reason with him have done since he could talk, just discipline in other ways, would you hit a grown person for not doing what they are asked ?
i was hit as a child and yes it has scarred
The thing that most parents don't do is listen to there children they have a lot more understanding than we give them credit for
Be firm and stick by what you say and teach a child NO means NO right from the start
Wonder if that works on OHs as well
i was hit as a child and yes it has scarred
The thing that most parents don't do is listen to there children they have a lot more understanding than we give them credit for
Be firm and stick by what you say and teach a child NO means NO right from the start
Wonder if that works on OHs as well
I was smacked as a child, and it's really not nice
. Ha ! Crazy parents I had 
. With my kiddies, I pretty much bring them up in the complete opposite approach to how my parents brought me up
Seems odd to me that an adult smacks their children, especially when they turn round and disapprove their kids of smacking other kids
{scratches head}, makes no sense to me.
Oct 2nd 2008, 11:54 am
#55
Forum Regular
Joined: Jul 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 176
Re: do you indulge in spanking
Hitting a child - your own or someone elses, is child abuse. The minute you hit, you've lost control and given that most smacks are dealt by an angry parent, are a hell of a lot harder than a light slap. If a child of any age is going to learn what is acceptable behaviour, it has to be explained to them rationally and calmly - might take a lot of repetition but its the only way they're going to take in what you're telling them. Time outs, naughty step, confiscating toys etc etc are all way more effective because the parent remains in control and the child can clearly see the impact their own behaviour is having. Smacking generally is a nice easy option for parents who can't be bothered.
Oct 2nd 2008, 12:01 pm
#56
Assimilated Pauper
Joined: Mar 2005
Location: Ontario
Posts: 40,018
Re: do you indulge in spanking
I suppose it doesn't much matter what we think of spanking, it's not legal in Canada (granted everything is illegal in Canada, but this is one of those things that's enforced). Canadians are, I think, conformists and busybodies, so a slap delivered in anything but complete secrecy is likely to result in the Children's Aid turning up on the doorstep.
Oct 2nd 2008, 1:11 pm
#57
Sawdust making harpy
Joined: Sep 2007
Location: Alberta
Posts: 11,291
Re: do you indulge in spanking
same hear MMC i smacked mine because i didn't know how to deal with them and i am the first to admit it was very wrong , i have talked to the boys about it since they are okay with it but insist they will never smack there kids I find it strange when people say they grew up with a smack and it didn't harm them, Lots of children grow up perfectly ok with awful things happening in there child hood, i for one can speak from personal experience of this, i have no doubt there are lots of people on this site of a similar age that have been through some horrible experiences and turned out OK
Does that mean its okay for them to go through the same ? because we turned out OK wonder how many didn't ?
We have the means and the knowhow to deal without violence even a tap ( how do you define that ? why do it at all if its not meant to hurt ?? )on a child is wrong.
If everyone spent more time with there children listening and playing instead of rushing from A to B all the time got to get them to do this activity or that and include them im sure there would be a lot less reason to discipline there children and more respect from them in later years,
Children need to feel loved and valued im not saying they aren't loved if you smack them surely you wouldn't hit your wife or husband if they did something you didn't like ?
The other thing is be consistent no good allowing them to do something one day and then not the next.
I'll explain - if they are playing nicely by themselves - or even if you're in the middle of tidying up - stop go to them and say "come on lets play a game, draw a picture, act stupid or something. Then spend an hour with them and i've always found that this way you don't get pestered when you need to do stuff because they have had their you time - without tugging at your skirt bottom for it.
Because its at these times - when they need your attention and start acting up to get it you can lose it. Don't get me wrong i'm far from the perfect parent and my little (well not so little) are back in England with their dad but wonderful kids that you can take anywhere.
Another tactic has always been to see things through - for instance the fighting in the back of the car. We went bowling once and my two boys were nearly killing each other - so i said stop or we'll go home.
They didn't stop - so we went home - friends and all, took them all back to their respective parents. My boys were so mad but they know I mean what I say!
Oct 2nd 2008, 1:23 pm
#58
ModerĪ±tor Emeritus
Joined: Sep 2003
Location: Upstate South Carolina
Posts: 30,768
Re: do you indulge in spanking
"Spanking allowed, implements forbidden to be used on children under 24 months or over 12 years old"
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spanking#Legal_status
Oct 2nd 2008, 1:33 pm
#59
Assimilated Pauper
Joined: Mar 2005
Location: Ontario
Posts: 40,018
Re: do you indulge in spanking
Spanking is legal in canada.
"Spanking allowed, implements forbidden to be used on children under 24 months or over 12 years old"
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spanking#Legal_status
"Spanking allowed, implements forbidden to be used on children under 24 months or over 12 years old"
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spanking#Legal_status
http://www.cbc.ca/news/background/spanking/
Oct 2nd 2008, 1:36 pm
#60
Just Joined
Joined: Feb 2007
Location: Cheshire, England
Posts: 25
Re: do you indulge in spanking
my 3yr old can be a stubborn little madam(cant think where she gets it from)
but a short sharp shock is what is sometimes needed.nothing to drastic just a tap on the bum.it restores the balance of things
but a short sharp shock is what is sometimes needed.nothing to drastic just a tap on the bum.it restores the balance of things