Canada and children
 

Hi everyone,

This is my first post here, hopefully this is the right place to put it!

The reason I want to live in Canada is mostly for my daughters benefit but I'm not sure my impression of the place isn't completely wrong so I wanted to find out how others feel.


I have a 6 month old baby and am living in Brighton but I'm really concerned about bringing her up here or indeed anywhere in the UK, I have a few years before she starts school so feel I need to start making some big decisions about what is best for us. If I did manage to get in to Canada I would be looking to live somewhere small with loads of space where there is a strong community, I'm worried about the lack of space here, living in a flat with people above and people below and unlikely to be able to afford anywhere with even a garden. I'm worried about the schools, the violence, racism, a friend even said the other day how concerned she was about girl gangs and her daughter and that's in Brighton! I don't want her to have to worry about that kind of thing as well, being a teenager is hard enough! I also want her to lead an active life which is more difficult and expensive here. I would also like her to have some sense of community, to know our neighbours etc



So my questions is do you all find Canada a better place to bring up your kids? Do you feel it's safer? Do your kids seem happier now you've moved? Are they more active or are they just on their playstations as much as ever? Am I actually wanting to bring my daughter up in 1975?!!



Any advice or opinions welcome,



Thanks x

Re: Canada and children
 

If so, this is the place for you.


IMO, the problem is that the smaller the community the greater the likelihood of racism being a problem. Some sort of compromise will be needed.

Re: Canada and children
 

You don't mention the other parent and what they want? I am not being nosey, but in case you are a single parent, that particular status in some parts of Canada is about as well received as a plague of locusts. ( I know from experience). You might want to factor that aspect in, if it is at all relevant to you. Brighton - oh those were the days. The Pink Coconut is now Oceana I'm told by resident eldest daughter.

Re: Canada and children
 

LOL... if she wants 1955, she can try Nova Scotia.

Re: Canada and children
 

There is no doubt that we made the right decision to come to coastal NS and into a great community. We have been here 3 yrs and the kids were 5 and 16 when we left. The 16yr old only making the decision to come over in March2007, because she believed life was better for her age there. A year and a half later she could not wait to leave and never wants to go back. Her life is fuller and more settled here and from this stable base she plans to take a year out now to travel, having just graduated from the local high school. The youngest loves it here and health wise never spends winters in hospital with pneumonia anymore which is what she had and would have been doing had we stayed in the UK. She is now fitter and healthier than we could ever imagined and loves horse riding, skating and this winter is learning snow boarding and skiing. There is often too much to do and not enough time to do it. Only yesterday we tried to find an hour to spend on the beach even with it only being in front of the house our lives are very busy and the summer hols have gone so quick.

Strange you should say about the year in some respects being able to leave both house and car unlocked and surrounded by kind and friendly neighbors may seem like the UK in the 1940'sm but add that to up to date technology like high speed and you can have the best of both worlds, that even the teenagers appreciate.

Re: Canada and children
 

Thanks for the replies, I think it is all going to be about compromise, I may really be looking for too much.

Dingbat - I am a single mum yes, how much of a problem is that do you think? Surely there must be plenty of single mums over there?!

Re: Canada and children
 

There are, of course. Being a single Mum brings with it a host of problems I would not want to have faced unfamiliar with the country or culture. There are some fairly heavy prejudices to overcome in the less enlightened areas too, and outright discrimination can be rife. It doesn't mean you will not make a success of any move as a single parent, but as a new immigrant, you have to work super hard to get settled. Having a baby, with no local support, will limit your options, work schedule wise and career wise.

You may also have an issue actually leaving the UK with babs in tow, because you need the father's notarised consent to take the baby out of the country for more than twenty eight days now, due to the Parental Responsibility issue. Maybe consider a move away from Brighton? Much as I recall my years of wanton debauchery in Brighton with a degree of soft focus lighting, I agree, would not want to raise a child there. The UK has so much to offer and has such diversity crammed into its shores. Best of luck.

Re: Canada and children
 

Hi there,

As other posters have mentioned, it is indeed like the childhood of the 1970s - in the fairly remote places. I'm sure the bigger the city, the more like the UK.

My only comment would be: before making your decision, make a list of all the things you benefit from in England e.g.

- nearby family/friends for support
- familiarity of surroundings
- public transportation
- established in a career
- income benefits, such as family allowance
- the cost of dentristry, glasses, etc for children

A lot depends on where you intend to settle in Canada. For example in BC; beyond basic medical/hospital services, the parent is responsible for all healthcare costs. For examply, I was horrified to learn that parents with deaf children have to pay for their hearing aids from day one.

I don't have children so I don't know what financial benefits parents get here. However, having got to know many "working poor" families I don't think they're getting much from the government.

My impression of BC is that, with a good job/income level, it's a fabulous place to raise kids. However, it is a gritty existence of many families who are below a certain income level.

All the best,

Sarah

Re: Canada and children
 

I wonder if you have looked into the process of getting into Canada ... you don't say what your skills are or on what basis you might apply for immigration.

If you are a single person, you would have to be earning sufficiently for you and your little one. Parts of Canada are at least as expensive to live as Brighton.

You may be completely organised and have a well-thought-out plan, in which case I apologise for seeming to rain on your parade, but in case you haven't, I just wanted to point out that it's not always possible to just come to live in Canada because you think it would be a better place for your family.

Please check out the wiki pages on this site (http://britishexpats.com/wiki/Category:Canada) if you haven't already done so.

Re: Canada and children
 

Hello, edboo, and welcome to the BE forum.

I don't think you have any idea what it's like raising a child as a single parent in Canada. I have at least a hint of what it must be like, because my then-husband travelled a lot for his work when our kids were young. There were extended periods of time when, effectively, I was like a single parent.

Kids aren't given lunch at school. If they live within walking distance of school, they have to go home for lunch. If there's no adult at home, you have to pay for before and after school and lunchtime supervision. Depending on the arrrangement, the person or business that you're paying to provide the supervision may or may not include lunch in their service. If they don't, you have to send your kid off with a packed lunch from home.

If the child is bussed to school, lunch time supervision usually is provided for free, but the child still has to bring a packed lunch from home.

After-school sports activities are not organized by the schools. They're operated by community (that is, parent volunteer) groups. It is tough to be a working parent and ferry one's child to and from sports practices and games and things of that nature.

I could go on and on, but just let me say that I don't think you know what you'd be undertaking.

I shared a personal story in post #10 of the thread entitled Does anyone feel like this? that elaborates a bit on my experience.

It also would be useful for you to read the School Hours section of the Wiki article called Childcare Options-Canada.

But, come to think of it, I don't know why I'm trying to dissuade you. By all means, come to Canada as a single parent. I'm sure it'll be a character-building exercise.
x

Re: Canada and children
 

Hi Edboo,

I just wanted to say Hi and welcome to Be.

I hope that you will be able to gain lots of useful information to help you from this site.

Good luck:)

Re: Canada and children
 

:thumbsup:
Well put Judy
:thumbsup:

Re: Canada and children
 

You're absolutely right that I have no idea about what it's like to be a single mum in Canada, I hope nothing in my original post suggested I did. I've got a friend of a friend who's a single mum in Calgary and I'm waiting to hear back for her, I obviously have loads of questions for her about finances and practicalities which should help me establish whether this idea is viable.

A lot of the other issues I have thought about (won't bore you) and most of it looks okay, I'm going to go on a trip in the spring and see how I feel after that and after asking lot's of questions everywhere I can!

My post here was really just to get a feel of whether people feel their kids are better of in Canada as opposed to the UK.

Thanks again for your replies. x

Re: Canada and children
 

Hi and welcome to the forum :thumbsup:

It would help us all if you could advise on how you plan on entering
Work Permit, Perm Resident, Family class etc etc

We could then advise better, also the wiki at the top of the page is a good start for newcomers.

I wish you well

:thumbsup:

Re: Canada and children
 

The fact that you asked the questions you did without adding the contextual information about your being a single parent suggested to me that you didn't appreciate how significant a factor that could be.

That should be very useful to you.

Also very useful.

Well, as I've tried to convey, I believe the particulars of your situation are very important in that equation.

As SarahBC said, "My impression of BC is that, with a good job/income level, it's a fabulous place to raise kids. However, it is a gritty existence of many families who are below a certain income level." I would extrapolate her comments to include Calgary.

If you are in an occupation that earns good money, that will help. But I would say that, as a single parent, you need to earn pretty good money to make up for the lack of help from a partner. You need to be able to pay other people to pick up some of the pieces. The other option is to exhaust yourself being all things to all people (your child, your employer, yourself, etc.).
x