Anyone else acquired an annoying neighbour?
#31
Re: Anyone else acquired an annoying neighbour?
I really hope this doesn't come across as insensitive but i find it interesting how people are not upfront in situations that make them uncomfortable and are clearly unwanted and possibly bordering on distressing.
A good, honest, and as non-confrontation as you're able - "Look, what you're doing makes me/my wife/my husband uncomfortable and i'd appreciate it if you could please stop <insert the issue here>".
Leave it at that or follow up with boundary conditions like ".....but i'm more than happy to <insert here>".
In a condo (forget if the OP is or not) do you have a strata council or something? If so, highlight the issue and request they deal with it.
All of the excuses and hiding that people do surely must wear you down and prolong the situation.
A good, honest, and as non-confrontation as you're able - "Look, what you're doing makes me/my wife/my husband uncomfortable and i'd appreciate it if you could please stop <insert the issue here>".
Leave it at that or follow up with boundary conditions like ".....but i'm more than happy to <insert here>".
In a condo (forget if the OP is or not) do you have a strata council or something? If so, highlight the issue and request they deal with it.
All of the excuses and hiding that people do surely must wear you down and prolong the situation.
#32
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Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 362
Re: Anyone else acquired an annoying neighbour?
I find being honest. If you don't like someone tell them or if they visiting a bit too much. Tell them. if that doesn't work be incredible rude. If they still don't get. Give em a few slaps.
Last edited by Essex_Man; Oct 23rd 2009 at 9:46 pm.
#33
Re: Anyone else acquired an annoying neighbour?
Fight fire with fire.
Noisy dog - Arrange a weekend away - set up a timed recorder to play during 1am and 5am for two or three nights - Loud dog noise/copulation/hammer banging. When they complain on your return you have the opener for negotiations. You will need iron clad home insurance just in case this should go a little awry.
Lunatic neighbour -
Put the phone down as soon as you hear their voice - say nothing. You see them and be totally upfront - tell them that you are not interested in being friends and tell them to stop knocking at your door - or if you are a type (1) see below you keep on being polite until you one day die of a perforated ulcer.
Street people - Because we are Brits we are wired in one of two ways
Type (1) we have been brought up not to say no and to be polite - We must get over the polite thing - if you are asked for money, cigarettes AND dont want to give either say "No" dont mumble it , dont leave them in any doubt.
Type (2) we have been brought up to be rude self opinionated and ignorant - actually this type wont have a problem and will probably tell them to
**** off. Rushman will confirm this
Noisy dog - Arrange a weekend away - set up a timed recorder to play during 1am and 5am for two or three nights - Loud dog noise/copulation/hammer banging. When they complain on your return you have the opener for negotiations. You will need iron clad home insurance just in case this should go a little awry.
Lunatic neighbour -
Put the phone down as soon as you hear their voice - say nothing. You see them and be totally upfront - tell them that you are not interested in being friends and tell them to stop knocking at your door - or if you are a type (1) see below you keep on being polite until you one day die of a perforated ulcer.
Street people - Because we are Brits we are wired in one of two ways
Type (1) we have been brought up not to say no and to be polite - We must get over the polite thing - if you are asked for money, cigarettes AND dont want to give either say "No" dont mumble it , dont leave them in any doubt.
Type (2) we have been brought up to be rude self opinionated and ignorant - actually this type wont have a problem and will probably tell them to
**** off. Rushman will confirm this
#34
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Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 7,284
Re: Anyone else acquired an annoying neighbour?
You would think that would be the case wouldnt you? But the thing with these type of people and I think the OP knows what I mean- is that they really are thick skinned or insensitive and don't get the hint. I've often said oh sorry I wasnt in/didnt hear the door last monday - why dont you call/text me before hand to check I'm here, she will do it for a couple of weeks and then goes back to turning up.
The only way to avoid her would be to be out every monday night (which I dont want to do) or be rude as all the hints in the world dont seem to be getting me anywhere! grrrr!
The only way to avoid her would be to be out every monday night (which I dont want to do) or be rude as all the hints in the world dont seem to be getting me anywhere! grrrr!
If she's lonely it would be the right thing to invite her to your home but control it and have her meet on your terms.
#35
Re: Anyone else acquired an annoying neighbour?
So he hasn't banged on our door for a few nights but at 7am the other morning my other half was out clearing ice off the car windows before going to work and the annoying neighbour was in his car and musn't have noticed him until he starts reversing out and he spies my other half and stops the car and gets out to start asking him about the weather in NI...Other half gives him a one word answer and off he goes....
Then tonight we're sitting online and other half logs into yahoo to check his email and annoying neighbour sees him online and starts talking to him immediately on Yahoo IM (He knows his email address as OH emailed him instructions ages ago for a computer prob he kept harping on about). He then says to OH "I'm gonna pop down in a minute for a chat", OH tells him it's a bit late and neighbour then says "Well I'll quickly tell you on here then, Napa Autopro can immediately tell you what type of transmission fluid needed for your car" We're sitting here looking at each other going "well duh, is that not pretty obvious and why is he even telling us this when we've never even indicated we need transmission oil?" No doubt he'll be down tommorrow to tell us this because we told him it was too late tonight...
Then tonight we're sitting online and other half logs into yahoo to check his email and annoying neighbour sees him online and starts talking to him immediately on Yahoo IM (He knows his email address as OH emailed him instructions ages ago for a computer prob he kept harping on about). He then says to OH "I'm gonna pop down in a minute for a chat", OH tells him it's a bit late and neighbour then says "Well I'll quickly tell you on here then, Napa Autopro can immediately tell you what type of transmission fluid needed for your car" We're sitting here looking at each other going "well duh, is that not pretty obvious and why is he even telling us this when we've never even indicated we need transmission oil?" No doubt he'll be down tommorrow to tell us this because we told him it was too late tonight...
#36
Re: Anyone else acquired an annoying neighbour?
I think most people are polite, not just because they have been brought up to be considerate, but also because the person we are dealing/coping with somehow crosses normal boundaries of behaviour. The rule book is gone, so we're not sure what the consequences of various actions/interactions will be.
This uncertainty causes as much angst as the behaviour in question. We start to second guess ourselves and feel less confident, less secure.
Then one day you night get angry, tell the bastard off, and all of sudden you've got peace and quiet.....
....
usually
hopefully.
If you can steel yourself and be upfront el_R is right.
This uncertainty causes as much angst as the behaviour in question. We start to second guess ourselves and feel less confident, less secure.
Then one day you night get angry, tell the bastard off, and all of sudden you've got peace and quiet.....
....
usually
hopefully.
If you can steel yourself and be upfront el_R is right.
#37
Re: Anyone else acquired an annoying neighbour?
So my other half was out working on his car today and got talking to a couple of the other neighbours, they basically were discussing the annoying neighbour for over two hours and they can't stand him either, they told OH he has a history and has been in prison...what for I have no idea, but one of the guys who lives across from us has complained about him as he's just so loud and he can hear him knocking on our door all the time, the other guy puts on a funny voice everytime annoying neighbour talks to him as if he can speak properly in hope it stops annoying neighbour talking to him! They basically try to avoid him at all cost and when standing talking they were ready to desperse everytime they heard a car in fear it was him.
Annoying neighbour even asked one of the guys for money this morning!
Next time I see our apartment manager (who also apparently wants him out)I'm complaining as enough is enough. He was at our door five times this morning within an hour!!
Annoying neighbour even asked one of the guys for money this morning!
Next time I see our apartment manager (who also apparently wants him out)I'm complaining as enough is enough. He was at our door five times this morning within an hour!!
#38
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Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 362
Re: Anyone else acquired an annoying neighbour?
How cowardly.Why don't you be honest. Tell you have nothing in common. Say you're nice guy but we have little or nothing in common. have a good day and close the door. quiet and slowly and be done with it. If he says hello anywhere be polite and go out about your business don't stop.
Last edited by Essex_Man; Oct 25th 2009 at 10:21 pm.
#39
Forum Regular
Joined: Jan 2009
Location: London, UK but want to be in Seeleys Bay
Posts: 245
Re: Anyone else acquired an annoying neighbour?
I think all your replies are all too true and if I was the OP I would be inclined to risk it and worry about the consequences! Hopefully you will never have to see him again.
My problem is (and sorry wasn't trying to hijack this post) is that she is my husbands cousin and I actually don't wont to hurt her- which is what got me into the situation in the first place (being kind an inviting her in for a cup of tea!).
Her daughter works for us and often tells me how she drives her mad by her interfering and insensitive ways- I've even tried to tell her how annoying it is and she agrees! Cant quite bring myself to say "can you tell your mum to piss off for me!".
Sorry to whine on as I said its my own fault!
My problem is (and sorry wasn't trying to hijack this post) is that she is my husbands cousin and I actually don't wont to hurt her- which is what got me into the situation in the first place (being kind an inviting her in for a cup of tea!).
Her daughter works for us and often tells me how she drives her mad by her interfering and insensitive ways- I've even tried to tell her how annoying it is and she agrees! Cant quite bring myself to say "can you tell your mum to piss off for me!".
Sorry to whine on as I said its my own fault!
#40
Re: Anyone else acquired an annoying neighbour?
Had a knock on the door this morning at 7:05 am...lying in my bed going "surely he wouldn't knock on our goddamn door at this time", I texted my other half who had gone out to get the car ready and idiot neighbour had followed out after him so yes it was him and I'm pissed off...last straw for me really as I haven't been feeling the best and was trying to get some extra sleep this morning. Apartment manager will be recieving a complaint and the next time he knocks at the door I may have to have words even though I NEVER talk to him as quite frankly I get annoyed just looking at him!
#41
Re: Anyone else acquired an annoying neighbour?
Had a knock on the door this morning at 7:05 am...lying in my bed going "surely he wouldn't knock on our goddamn door at this time", I texted my other half who had gone out to get the car ready and idiot neighbour had followed out after him so yes it was him and I'm pissed off...last straw for me really as I haven't been feeling the best and was trying to get some extra sleep this morning. Apartment manager will be recieving a complaint and the next time he knocks at the door I may have to have words even though I NEVER talk to him as quite frankly I get annoyed just looking at him!
Linda
#42
Re: Anyone else acquired an annoying neighbour?
He tried the door then when no-one answered he probably went outside to look and saw him! I'm sooo fed up with him it's unreal, couple that with the fact I'm incredibly homesick and feeling down and it's a case for going home now rather than February!
#43
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Joined: Oct 2007
Location: British Columbia
Posts: 1,370
Re: Anyone else acquired an annoying neighbour?
Have you not told him to just simply not knock on your door? That you find it unsettling? That you need your alone time?
If the building managers fail, I'd move. It's not worth the hassle. Your neighbour has serious issues - he's clearly not all there, and frankly, I don't know if simply telling him to go away will do much good. He clearly can't take a hint.
If the building managers fail, I'd move. It's not worth the hassle. Your neighbour has serious issues - he's clearly not all there, and frankly, I don't know if simply telling him to go away will do much good. He clearly can't take a hint.
#44
Re: Anyone else acquired an annoying neighbour?
Have you not told him to just simply not knock on your door? That you find it unsettling? That you need your alone time?
If the building managers fail, I'd move. It's not worth the hassle. Your neighbour has serious issues - he's clearly not all there, and frankly, I don't know if simply telling him to go away will do much good. He clearly can't take a hint.
If the building managers fail, I'd move. It's not worth the hassle. Your neighbour has serious issues - he's clearly not all there, and frankly, I don't know if simply telling him to go away will do much good. He clearly can't take a hint.
#45
Account Closed
Joined: Mar 2008
Location: Just outside of decency
Posts: 7,837
Re: Anyone else acquired an annoying neighbour?
Street people - Because we are Brits we are wired in one of two ways
Type (1) we have been brought up not to say no and to be polite - We must get over the polite thing - if you are asked for money, cigarettes AND dont want to give either say "No" dont mumble it , dont leave them in any doubt.
Type (2) we have been brought up to be rude self opinionated and ignorant - actually this type wont have a problem and will probably tell them to
**** off. Rushman will confirm this
However, typical of Jemima she forgot to mention kneeing the unwashed begging peasants in the knackers.