What made you smile today? Part III
Sep 28th 2011, 3:03 pm
#6843
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jul 2004
Location: Victoria, BC Canada
Posts: 61,698
Re: What made you smile today? Part III
Originally Posted by Jerseygirl
Waking up to this every morning.
Sep 28th 2011, 6:23 pm
#6845
Yeah that guy.
Joined: Dec 2008
Location: Arizona
Posts: 6,922
Re: What made you smile today? Part III
Originally Posted by SultanOfSwing
Sounds like you got an early Christmas present there 
Dear Human Resources.
I am extremely interested in working in this role at your company. So much so that I have actually changed the name of the job and the company in this generic letter to match the job title you posted and the name of your company. However I wasn't careful enough to ensure that the font for these two things is the same as the rest of the sentence making me look clumsy and un-serious.
I have many of the qualities and skills that you desire in this role. As long as those involve inappropriately touching horses, doing everything wrong, accusing all my coworkers of being escaped criminals and inventing fatal illnesses that will lead to all of my transgressions being ignored. In my previous role I was promoted to a role that prevented me from screwing anything else up because I simply wouldn't stop messing around with things short of my superiors actually handcuffing me to the desk. And I say promoted but it didn't involve a pay rise or an increase in responsibilities. Instead what it involved was me lording it up over my colleagues, behaving as if I some idea how the job was supposed to be conducted, destroying other people's work, closing other people's work (oh the power!) making the English guy at work cry in frustration and vaguely hiding my disturbingly shaped horse dildos on my desk from the view of my colleagues. In all seriousness though - I was totally in charge of a whole department who's name I can't actually remember correctly, and also pressed some numbers on my keyboard from time to time. Incorrectly, obviously.
As you can see, I am ideal for [insert job title here] that you have posted on your website/in the newspaper. Please feel free to ask any of my coworkers for a reference, especially the red head who likes ferrets almost as much as I like Lipinzaner ponies. Although please know that she worked for me and not the other way around so don't believe her, no matter what she says. Don't believe the others either. They are all liars, rapists and computer hackers.
Neigh, Whiney, Neigh.
My name.
Sep 28th 2011, 6:35 pm
#6846
Banned
Joined: Aug 2011
Location: Sweden
Posts: 171
Re: What made you smile today? Part III
Originally Posted by Herpes Simplex
Dear Human Resources.
I am extremely interested in working in this role at your company. So much so that I have actually changed the name of the job and the company in this generic letter to match the job title you posted and the name of your company. However I wasn't careful enough to ensure that the font for these two things is the same as the rest of the sentence making me look clumsy and un-serious.
I have many of the qualities and skills that you desire in this role. As long as those involve inappropriately touching horses, doing everything wrong, accusing all my coworkers of being escaped criminals and inventing fatal illnesses that will lead to all of my transgressions being ignored. In my previous role I was promoted to a role that prevented me from screwing anything else up because I simply wouldn't stop messing around with things short of my superiors actually handcuffing me to the desk. And I say promoted but it didn't involve a pay rise or an increase in responsibilities. Instead what it involved was me lording it up over my colleagues, behaving as if I some idea how the job was supposed to be conducted, destroying other people's work, closing other people's work (oh the power!) making the English guy at work cry in frustration and vaguely hiding my disturbingly shaped horse dildos on my desk from the view of my colleagues. In all seriousness though - I was totally in charge of a whole department who's name I can't actually remember correctly, and also pressed some numbers on my keyboard from time to time. Incorrectly, obviously.
As you can see, I am ideal for [insert job title here] that you have posted on your website/in the newspaper. Please feel free to ask any of my coworkers for a reference, especially the red head who likes ferrets almost as much as I like Lipinzaner ponies. Although please know that she worked for me and not the other way around so don't believe her, no matter what she says. Don't believe the others either. They are all liars, rapists and computer hackers.
Neigh, Whiney, Neigh.
My name.
I am extremely interested in working in this role at your company. So much so that I have actually changed the name of the job and the company in this generic letter to match the job title you posted and the name of your company. However I wasn't careful enough to ensure that the font for these two things is the same as the rest of the sentence making me look clumsy and un-serious.
I have many of the qualities and skills that you desire in this role. As long as those involve inappropriately touching horses, doing everything wrong, accusing all my coworkers of being escaped criminals and inventing fatal illnesses that will lead to all of my transgressions being ignored. In my previous role I was promoted to a role that prevented me from screwing anything else up because I simply wouldn't stop messing around with things short of my superiors actually handcuffing me to the desk. And I say promoted but it didn't involve a pay rise or an increase in responsibilities. Instead what it involved was me lording it up over my colleagues, behaving as if I some idea how the job was supposed to be conducted, destroying other people's work, closing other people's work (oh the power!) making the English guy at work cry in frustration and vaguely hiding my disturbingly shaped horse dildos on my desk from the view of my colleagues. In all seriousness though - I was totally in charge of a whole department who's name I can't actually remember correctly, and also pressed some numbers on my keyboard from time to time. Incorrectly, obviously.
As you can see, I am ideal for [insert job title here] that you have posted on your website/in the newspaper. Please feel free to ask any of my coworkers for a reference, especially the red head who likes ferrets almost as much as I like Lipinzaner ponies. Although please know that she worked for me and not the other way around so don't believe her, no matter what she says. Don't believe the others either. They are all liars, rapists and computer hackers.
Neigh, Whiney, Neigh.
My name.
Sep 28th 2011, 6:53 pm
#6847
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Nov 2002
Location: Harbor Springs, Michigan *again*
Posts: 2,340
Re: What made you smile today? Part III
Waking up to another beautiful fall day in Alaska. Still some colour in the trees and the temps are around 50F. I was going to head out for some retail therapy but I'm thinking a trip out and a short hike may be in order.
Photos from yesterdays wanderings ..
Photos from yesterdays wanderings ..
Sep 28th 2011, 6:55 pm
#6848
I have a comma problem
Joined: Feb 2009
Location: Fox Lake, IL (from Carrickfergus NI)
Posts: 49,596
Re: What made you smile today? Part III
Originally Posted by Jan Alaska
Waking up to another beautiful fall day in Alaska. Still some colour in the trees and the temps are around 50F. I was going to head out for some retail therapy but I'm thinking a trip out and a short hike may be in order.
Photos from yesterdays wanderings ..
Photos from yesterdays wanderings ..
Sep 28th 2011, 6:59 pm
#6849
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 26,969
Re: What made you smile today? Part III
This on the back of one of our students cars.
Soy bombero. No es mi trabajo, es mi vida
translation: I am a fireman. It is not my job, it's my life.
It is an all volunteer fire department here, in a city of more than 6 million, and they are truly dedicated.
Soy bombero. No es mi trabajo, es mi vida
translation: I am a fireman. It is not my job, it's my life.
It is an all volunteer fire department here, in a city of more than 6 million, and they are truly dedicated.
Sep 28th 2011, 9:17 pm
#6851
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jul 2004
Location: Victoria, BC Canada
Posts: 61,698
Re: What made you smile today? Part III
Originally Posted by Jerseygirl
It sure is.
Makes me almost but not quite want to move back east.....
Sep 28th 2011, 9:19 pm
#6852
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jul 2004
Location: Victoria, BC Canada
Posts: 61,698
Re: What made you smile today? Part III
Receiving notice from revenue canada that our assessment is complete and we dont owe them any money.....
Bunch of crooks - accountants with far to much time on their hands.....
Bunch of crooks - accountants with far to much time on their hands.....
