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Well known people coming out as gay

Well known people coming out as gay

Old Feb 7th 2020, 1:25 pm
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Default Well known people coming out as gay

So, one of the biggest stories on TV in the UK today is the fact that Phillip Schofield has announced he's gay, this is after 27 years of mariage nad having 2 grown up daughters.
Is this something that should be making the headlines as it is, or should it be one of the footnotes in a news programme and left to the discussion programmes like Good Morning, The One Show, etc.
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Old Feb 7th 2020, 1:38 pm
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Default Re: Well known people coming out as gay

Originally Posted by mikelincs View Post
So, one of the biggest stories on TV in the UK today is the fact that Phillip Schofield has announced he's gay, this is after 27 years of mariage nad having 2 grown up daughters.
Is this something that should be making the headlines as it is, or should it be one of the footnotes in a news programme and left to the discussion programmes like Good Morning, The One Show, etc.
If publicity around this can help society as a whole understand that sexuality is not a matter of black/white but infinite shades of grey (yes, I know) and that this is perfectly normal and usual for our species, then go for it. Eventually, it would be nice if someone's sexuality gave no cause for comment at all (consenting adults, of course) but we clearly aren't there yet.
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Old Feb 7th 2020, 1:52 pm
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Default Re: Well known people coming out as gay

My first reaction when I saw that in the guardian was "you don't say" [/sarcasm]

Then, stealing a line from Tootsie I thought "Does Gordon know?"
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Old Feb 7th 2020, 1:55 pm
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Default Re: Well known people coming out as gay

Originally Posted by mikelincs View Post
So, one of the biggest stories on TV in the UK today is the fact that Phillip Schofield has announced he's gay, this is after 27 years of mariage nad having 2 grown up daughters.
Is this something that should be making the headlines as it is, or should it be one of the footnotes in a news programme and left to the discussion programmes like Good Morning, The One Show, etc.

I can't understand why it needs to even be discussed. Someone's sexual orientation or preferences have nothing to do with that person's career. BTW I don't see him as gay but bi-sexual. He enjoys sex with both males and females as evidenced by his marriage and his fatherhood.
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Old Feb 7th 2020, 1:56 pm
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Default Re: Well known people coming out as gay

Originally Posted by Rete View Post
I can't understand why it needs to even be discussed. Someone's sexual orientation or preferences have nothing to do with that person's career. BTW I don't see him as gay but bi-sexual. He enjoys sex with both males and females as evidenced by his marriage and his fatherhood.

If he says he's gay, he's gay.

We have no idea what he "enjoyed" or how, tbh.

Nor does it matter.

But it was his choice to be public, so why not? As I said, perhaps it will help people understand that this is all quite normal.
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Old Feb 7th 2020, 2:43 pm
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Default Re: Well known people coming out as gay

I always assumed he was.
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Old Feb 7th 2020, 2:47 pm
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Default Re: Well known people coming out as gay

Originally Posted by mikelincs View Post
So, one of the biggest stories on TV in the UK today is the fact that Phillip Schofield has announced he's gay, this is after 27 years of mariage nad having 2 grown up daughters.
Is this something that should be making the headlines as it is, or should it be one of the footnotes in a news programme and left to the discussion programmes like Good Morning, The One Show, etc.
Its nobodies business really but this families . Hopefully he did not 'fool' his wife for 27yrs.. she isn't humiliated by this ?..or his daughters ? I am assuming this 'caring guy' of the TV adds has factored that in. and everyone is on the same page etc. Otherwise , who cares..
Like LIW says it shouldn't be necessary to splash it on the front page ... but there we are.
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Old Feb 7th 2020, 3:16 pm
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Default Re: Well known people coming out as gay

Originally Posted by Rete View Post
. BTW I don't see him as gay but bi-sexual. He enjoys sex with both males and females as evidenced by his marriage and his fatherhood.
That is not evidence of his preference, it may be evidence of societal pressure.
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Old Feb 7th 2020, 3:42 pm
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Default Re: Well known people coming out as gay

Originally Posted by GeniB View Post
Hopefully he did not 'fool' his wife for 27yrs.. she isn't humiliated by this ?..or his daughters ?
Why would, or should his wife and daughters be humiliated by this? It's not like he suddenly decided he was gay, this is who he is, and I don't know the ins and outs but it likely was something he wrestled with for that 27 years, perhaps longer. Him coming to terms with his sexuality doesn't invalidate the love that he has for his wife and children, or the time they spent together. Surely they would prefer that he be happy above all else?
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Old Feb 7th 2020, 3:46 pm
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Default Re: Well known people coming out as gay

Originally Posted by SultanOfSwing View Post
Why would, or should his wife and daughters be humiliated by this? It's not like he suddenly decided he was gay, this is who he is, and I don't know the ins and outs but it likely was something he wrestled with for that 27 years, perhaps longer. Him coming to terms with his sexuality doesn't invalidate the love that he has for his wife and children, or the time they spent together. Surely they would prefer that he be happy above all else?
Indeed.

People's sexuality is not a humiliation for anyone else.

Also, from the Beeb:

"Steph has been incredible - I love her so very much. She is the kindest soul I have ever met. My girls have been astonishing in their love, hugs and encouraging words of comfort. Both my and Steph's entire families have stunned me with their love, instant acceptance and support."

Doesn't sound like humiliation to me.
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Old Feb 7th 2020, 4:15 pm
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Default Re: Well known people coming out as gay

Originally Posted by SultanOfSwing View Post
Why would, or should his wife and daughters be humiliated by this? It's not like he suddenly decided he was gay, this is who he is, and I don't know the ins and outs but it likely was something he wrestled with for that 27 years, perhaps longer. Him coming to terms with his sexuality doesn't invalidate the love that he has for his wife and children, or the time they spent together. Surely they would prefer that he be happy above all else?
Because some men do not 'come out' to their partners. They marry them ,giving them the impression that they are straight. This happened to a friend of mine.. The shock was enormous when he finally 'came out' after 22 yrs of marriage, She felt that he had betrayed her, not given her the option of being with someone who could truly love her. If he been bisexual it would have been perhaps different. No doubt the love was there ..but sexual fidelity is extremely strong ..and she was left with the thought that it had never been there
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Old Feb 7th 2020, 4:20 pm
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Default Re: Well known people coming out as gay

Originally Posted by Lion in Winter View Post
Indeed.

People's sexuality is not a humiliation for anyone else.

Also, from the Beeb:

"Steph has been incredible - I love her so very much. She is the kindest soul I have ever met. My girls have been astonishing in their love, hugs and encouraging words of comfort. Both my and Steph's entire families have stunned me with their love, instant acceptance and support."

Doesn't sound like humiliation to me.
No not in his case. It does sound as though he was up front about it from the beginning .. so maybe more Bisexual than completely Gay.?. My friend was humiliated.., her OH chose to run off with another guy... Its not all sweetness and light when they bare all in public unfortunately.. and its not about their sexuality .Thats their business .Its about the way its handled when it affects other people and their feelings
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Old Feb 7th 2020, 4:24 pm
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Default Re: Well known people coming out as gay

Originally Posted by GeniB View Post
Because some men do not 'come out' to their partners. They marry them ,giving them the impression that they are straight. This happened to a friend of mine.. The shock was enormous when he finally 'came out' after 22 yrs of marriage, She felt that he had betrayed her, not given her the option of being with someone who could truly love her. If he been bisexual it would have been perhaps different. No doubt the love was there ..but sexual fidelity is extremely strong ..and she was left with the thought that it had never been there
That's an unfair burden to put on the partner who comes out, and it's also unfair to suggest that they entered into the marriage in bad faith. Being gay isn't a choice, and some people don't realize they are gay until a lot of time has passed. It's unfair to say he didn't truly love her, and just because he came out as gay after so many years doesn't automatically mean he cheated on her. Isn't it better to be honest with someone and end the marriage, than live a lie behind their backs? Marriages break down for all sorts of reasons, this is really no different. Feeling betrayed is natural but it is only a feeling, a partner coming out as gay is not evidence of any betrayal, or infidelity.
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Old Feb 7th 2020, 4:39 pm
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Default Re: Well known people coming out as gay

Originally Posted by GeniB View Post
No not in his case. It does sound as though he was up front about it from the beginning .. so maybe more Bisexual than completely Gay.?. My friend was humiliated.., her OH chose to run off with another guy... Its not all sweetness and light when they bare all in public unfortunately.. and its not about their sexuality .Thats their business .Its about the way its handled when it affects other people and their feelings

All of which are private matters about which we have no knowledge. In this case all we know is what he has shared so your comments about them are speculation and unrelated to the feelings of your friend.
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Old Feb 7th 2020, 5:17 pm
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Default Re: Well known people coming out as gay

Originally Posted by SultanOfSwing View Post
Why would, or should his wife and daughters be humiliated by this? It's not like he suddenly decided he was gay, this is who he is, and I don't know the ins and outs but it likely was something he wrestled with for that 27 years, perhaps longer. Him coming to terms with his sexuality doesn't invalidate the love that he has for his wife and children, or the time they spent together. Surely they would prefer that he be happy above all else?
Originally Posted by Lion in Winter View Post
Indeed.

People's sexuality is not a humiliation for anyone else.

Also, from the Beeb:

"Steph has been incredible - I love her so very much. She is the kindest soul I have ever met. My girls have been astonishing in their love, hugs and encouraging words of comfort. Both my and Steph's entire families have stunned me with their love, instant acceptance and support."

Doesn't sound like humiliation to me.
Pretty much my take on it too. My very best friend (apart from scouse of course!) wrestled with his sexuality in much the same way that Sultan suggests. He had a wife and daughter, but he felt like he was living a lie. After lots of talks with his wife (who is absolutely lovely) they agreed to divorce and have remained on excellent terms with each other. He went a bit crazy with the gay bars and clubs for awhile but that was ok because he took me with him and I had some of the best nights of my life. He's yet to find 'the one' but he's looking! Most importantly, he's happy. And gay

He and scouse get on really well which is probably just as well, because when scouse phoned me from offshore not long after we'd met, I was in bed with my mate. Not as strange as it sounds, we wanted a night on the town and booked a hotel room so we could crash afterwards. Was supposed to have twin beds but oh well. Scouse didn't even blink, just said 'when you get up go and buy that lad some breakfast'. As an older man who's a practicing Catholic, he knocked any stereotypes I may have had clean out of the ball park.
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