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The unhappiest age - 47?

The unhappiest age - 47?

Old Jan 15th 2020, 5:52 am
  #16  
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Default Re: The unhappiest age - 47?

Originally Posted by Scamp View Post
I'll let you know in 16 years when I get there.

But **** me, reading this thread is making me think I need to live faster, harder, smoking and drinking like a champion so I die before I get to my 40s.
Nah, it's not all doom Scamp.

I'm 42 this year, and so a few years away from peak unhappiness, but I'm on track for a happy 47. My first child will be 18 and going to Uni, and the second will be six and a whole pile of fun. Professionally, I'm doing well - but have hit peak-earnings, and there is limited room for further growth unless I really step it up a gear and go alone. Still, I set myself annual (positive) goals and generally work towards them on a self-fulfilling basis. Don't think I can face another 25 years of this, but at the same time, I do not intend to. I hope to be out of the industry by 50 and doing something I would be more passionate about at the time.

This year has been unsettling a bit for me, the eldest is very independent and going through the phase of realising his mates are more interesting his family which has been quite an adjustment. I was expecting it, but it came a bit quicker and harder than I was hoping.

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Old Jan 15th 2020, 6:08 am
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Default Re: The unhappiest age - 47?

Originally Posted by Millhouse View Post
Nah, it's not all doom Scamp.

I'm 42 this year, and so a few years away from peak unhappiness, but I'm on track for a happy 47. My first child will be 18 and going to Uni, and the second will be six and a whole pile of fun. Professionally, I'm doing well - but have hit peak-earnings, and there is limited room for further growth unless I really step it up a gear and go alone. Still, I set myself annual (positive) goals and generally work towards them on a self-fulfilling basis. Don't think I can face another 25 years of this, but at the same time, I do not intend to. I hope to be out of the industry by 50 and doing something I would be more passionate about at the time.

This year has been unsettling a bit for me, the eldest is very independent and going through the phase of realising his mates are more interesting his family which has been quite an adjustment. I was expecting it, but it came a bit quicker and harder than I was hoping.
Weirdly, I'm setting myself some goals at the moment. I change jobs next month and have health / wellbeing and financial targets for the year....well, I will have when I set them. I'm starting work on it all today and shouldn't take too long. Applying great meaning behind them and remembering their purpose is important I think.

All kids turn into scumbags when they're teens mate, but if you keep being a good Dad they come back to normality.
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Old Jan 15th 2020, 9:49 am
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Default Re: The unhappiest age - 47?

Originally Posted by Scamp View Post
Weirdly, I'm setting myself some goals at the moment. I change jobs next month and have health / wellbeing and financial targets for the year....well, I will have when I set them. I'm starting work on it all today and shouldn't take too long. Applying great meaning behind them and remembering their purpose is important I think.

All kids turn into scumbags when they're teens mate, but if you keep being a good Dad they come back to normality.
Sounds good - set your self positive goals (i.e. I will do this, etc) rather than negative ones (I will stop this).

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Old Jan 15th 2020, 9:58 am
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Default Re: The unhappiest age - 47?

Originally Posted by Millhouse View Post
Sounds good - set your self positive goals (i.e. I will do this, etc) rather than negative ones (I will stop this).
"I will get healthier" is OK but "I will stop smoking and drinking like a 17 year old" is bad?

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Old Jan 16th 2020, 3:22 am
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Default Re: The unhappiest age - 47?

Originally Posted by BristolUK View Post
Are you really at your most miserable at 47.2 years old?

On a visit to Canada during which I became 47, we got our marriage licence or whatever it was called and arranged the wedding for 3 months later.
I have a photo at the wedding dinner where I look the most contented ever.

At 47 and 5 months I left my job (yessssssssssssssssssss) and moved to Canada.

Miserable at 47? I must be the exception that proves the rule.

So...47...how was it for you?
Feeling unhappy is hardly age related, I've felt variously unhappy and happy at many stages in my life.
In ones 80's it's difficult to feel optimistic about ones future, or present for that matter.
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Old Jan 16th 2020, 5:57 am
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Default Re: The unhappiest age - 47?

Originally Posted by Sugarmooma View Post
Never say never! Life is never smooth, sometimes it totally surprises you.
I could win the lotto, that would solve pretty much every problem we have...lol

Majority of my unhappiness is situational just hard to get out of the situation causing it....
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Old Jan 16th 2020, 7:23 am
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Default Re: The unhappiest age - 47?

Originally Posted by Scamp View Post
"I will get healthier" is OK but "I will stop smoking and drinking like a 17 year old" is bad?

yes. If you focused on health, ie diet, exercise, and wellbeing, you’d probably end up dropping the other stuff naturally.


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Old Jan 16th 2020, 7:58 am
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Default Re: The unhappiest age - 47?

Originally Posted by Millhouse View Post
yes. If you focused on health, ie diet, exercise, and wellbeing, you’d probably end up dropping the other stuff naturally.
I'm working on it chief. 3kgs of chrimbo tub gone.
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Old Jan 16th 2020, 2:17 pm
  #24  
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Default Re: The unhappiest age - 47?

Originally Posted by Jsmth321 View Post
I could win the lotto, that would solve pretty much every problem we have...lol

Majority of my unhappiness is situational just hard to get out of the situation causing it....
It can often cause just as many problems as it solves. Unless you get smart right from the beginning and hire the best lawyer/accountant to help you manage the winnings, of course. It's ridiculous how many people have won the lottery and then spunked all their winnings and end up broke in a matter of years
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Old Jan 16th 2020, 2:31 pm
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Default Re: The unhappiest age - 47?

Originally Posted by SultanOfSwing View Post
It can often cause just as many problems as it solves. Unless you get smart right from the beginning and hire the best lawyer/accountant to help you manage the winnings, of course. It's ridiculous how many people have won the lottery and then spunked all their winnings and end up broke in a matter of years
I occasionally do the 'if I won the lotto' thing. It starts off ok, I bank the lot and live quite well off the interest. But then I think of family members who are doing it tough - how could I win all that money and not give them a good chunk? And I couldn't just give it to the ones struggling, I'd have to give some to the ones who were just doing ok as well. And by the time I'd done all that, what I had left to bank would earn buttons in interest. So the moral of this story is, I don't want to win the lotto Or if I do, I want to win at least $40,000,000.
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Old Jan 16th 2020, 2:44 pm
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Default Re: The unhappiest age - 47?

Originally Posted by spouse of scouse View Post
I occasionally do the 'if I won the lotto' thing. It starts off ok, I bank the lot and live quite well off the interest. But then I think of family members who are doing it tough - how could I win all that money and not give them a good chunk? And I couldn't just give it to the ones struggling, I'd have to give some to the ones who were just doing ok as well. And by the time I'd done all that, what I had left to bank would earn buttons in interest. So the moral of this story is, I don't want to win the lotto Or if I do, I want to win at least $40,000,000.
The important thing to remember is whoever you decide to give money to, they get a fixed amount and no more, and make that clear to them at the time.

I'm lucky in that I only have a handful of close relatives left but let's for the sake of argument assume that I win the lottery in a position where I am the only one making the decisions on what happens with the money. Illinois won't allow you to claim your prize money anonymously so I'd immediately go to Wisconsin and check into a hotel after claiming my prize. Then I go to Chicago, walk into the biggest, most reputable law firm I can find and get their best guy on retainer, and do the same with an accountant. Close family get a set amount each, a few select friends get a smaller set amount. I buy a (modest and new) house in a state with low property taxes, and car, paid for in cash, buy myself whatever cool toys I want and then I'd have my accountant set up some kind of trust or account that will be enough to earn me a certain amount every month (say the equivalent to $75-100k a year, nothing mental). Whatever's left (even, and perhaps especially if it's north of $50-100 million) I have my accountant use to set up some kind of fund for one or more worthy causes (probably something involving medical research, helping children or the homeless) and then I'll go legally change my name and quietly live out the rest of my life traveling, relaxing at home and most importantly never working again for another day ever.

Truth be told I don't want to win the lotto either. At least not the really stupidly big amounts. Something in the $1 million range that would allow me after taxes to pay off our house and put the rest into a pension plan for an early retirement would be more than enough for me. Yeah I'd have to keep working but maybe only for 15 years as opposed to 30, and we'd be essentially debt free and just about all the money we make would be ours to have fun with instead of paying off credit cards and the mortgage. Also I would be able to retrain to do something I want without worrying about potentially having to take a pay cut.

The stress of winning a super large $100 million prize would probably kill me.
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Old Jan 16th 2020, 2:52 pm
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Default Re: The unhappiest age - 47?

Originally Posted by SultanOfSwing View Post
The important thing to remember is whoever you decide to give money to, they get a fixed amount and no more, and make that clear to them at the time.

I'm lucky in that I only have a handful of close relatives left but let's for the sake of argument assume that I win the lottery in a position where I am the only one making the decisions on what happens with the money. Illinois won't allow you to claim your prize money anonymously so I'd immediately go to Wisconsin and check into a hotel after claiming my prize. Then I go to Chicago, walk into the biggest, most reputable law firm I can find and get their best guy on retainer, and do the same with an accountant. Close family get a set amount each, a few select friends get a smaller set amount. I buy a (modest and new) house in a state with low property taxes, and car, paid for in cash, buy myself whatever cool toys I want and then I'd have my accountant set up some kind of trust or account that will be enough to earn me a certain amount every month (say the equivalent to $75-100k a year, nothing mental). Whatever's left (even, and perhaps especially if it's north of $50-100 million) I have my accountant use to set up some kind of fund for one or more worthy causes (probably something involving medical research, helping children or the homeless) and then I'll go legally change my name and quietly live out the rest of my life traveling, relaxing at home and most importantly never working again for another day ever.

Truth be told I don't want to win the lotto either. At least not the really stupidly big amounts. Something in the $1 million range that would allow me after taxes to pay off our house and put the rest into a pension plan for an early retirement would be more than enough for me. Yeah I'd have to keep working but maybe only for 15 years as opposed to 30, and we'd be essentially debt free and just about all the money we make would be ours to have fun with instead of paying off credit cards and the mortgage. Also I would be able to retrain to do something I want without worrying about potentially having to take a pay cut.

The stress of winning a super large $100 million prize would probably kill me.
For a modest fee, say 95% of your winnings, I could take all that stress away from you.

But seriously - scouse and I are older than you and don't really need anything. I'd like to set up a trust for my 3 kids, and for 2 of scouse's 3. The other one of his could GAGF, horrible piece of work he is. Definitely some donations too. That'd be me happy, to know that my kids were ok.
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Old Jan 16th 2020, 2:56 pm
  #28  
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Default Re: The unhappiest age - 47?

Originally Posted by spouse of scouse View Post
For a modest fee, say 95% of your winnings, I could take all that stress away from you.

But seriously - scouse and I are older than you and don't really need anything. I'd like to set up a trust for my 3 kids, and for 2 of scouse's 3. The other one of his could GAGF, horrible piece of work he is. Definitely some donations too. That'd be me happy, to know that my kids were ok.
As long as my kids are taken care of and I can set it up so I never have to work again, I'd rather see the bulk of the money go to others. I could give every living relative and close friend multiple millions and still be able to use a ridiculous amount of money to make things better for others too.

Honestly if I could take home exactly what I make right now and be debt free, even if I won $500 million, I'd be fine offloading 95% of that right away. I would be a hypocrite if I sat on that much money and didn't use it to help people.
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Old Jan 16th 2020, 3:01 pm
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Default Re: The unhappiest age - 47?

Originally Posted by SultanOfSwing View Post
As long as my kids are taken care of and I can set it up so I never have to work again, I'd rather see the bulk of the money go to others. I could give every living relative and close friend multiple millions and still be able to use a ridiculous amount of money to make things better for others too.

Honestly if I could take home exactly what I make right now and be debt free, even if I won $500 million, I'd be fine offloading 95% of that right away. I would be a hypocrite if I sat on that much money and didn't use it to help people.
Your lotto/lotteries there have huge prizes don't they? Just the thought of hundreds of millions of dollars is scary.

Yep, bottom line is take care of your family (but leave a little room for personal responsibility from them too), make sure you're not vulnerable to being homeless or hungry, and gift the rest where you feel it's most needed.
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Old Jan 16th 2020, 3:10 pm
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Default Re: The unhappiest age - 47?

Originally Posted by spouse of scouse View Post
Your lotto/lotteries there have huge prizes don't they? Just the thought of hundreds of millions of dollars is scary.

Yep, bottom line is take care of your family (but leave a little room for personal responsibility from them too), make sure you're not vulnerable to being homeless or hungry, and gift the rest where you feel it's most needed.
The current estimated Powerball jackpot is $321 million dollars. If you take the lump sum, you typically get half that, then maybe take off 40% for taxes. That's still basically $100 million when all's said and done. It's more money than I could ever spend on myself in ten lifetimes.

The record jackpot was $1.5 billion. I would have to donate at least 50% of that right away or I would have had to guillotine myself. Better to be dead than be a billionaire.
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