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The unhappiest age - 47?

The unhappiest age - 47?

Old Jan 14th 2020, 3:16 pm
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Default The unhappiest age - 47?

Are you really at your most miserable at 47.2 years old?
According to a study from the US’s National Bureau of Economic Research, 47.2 is the unhappiest age you can be.
On a visit to Canada during which I became 47, we got our marriage licence or whatever it was called and arranged the wedding for 3 months later.
I have a photo at the wedding dinner where I look the most contented ever.

At 47 and 5 months I left my job (yessssssssssssssssssss) and moved to Canada.

Miserable at 47? I must be the exception that proves the rule.

So...47...how was it for you?
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Old Jan 14th 2020, 3:20 pm
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Default Re: The unhappiest age - 47?

Originally Posted by BristolUK View Post
Are you really at your most miserable at 47.2 years old?

On a visit to Canada during which I became 47, we got our marriage licence or whatever it was called and arranged the wedding for 3 months later.
I have a photo at the wedding dinner where I look the most contented ever.

At 47 and 5 months I left my job (yessssssssssssssssssss) and moved to Canada.

Miserable at 47? I must be the exception that proves the rule.

So...47...how was it for you?
Professional life was great at 47, personal life was crap (the two aren't linked!). Now happy as a pig in mud
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Old Jan 14th 2020, 6:52 pm
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Default Re: The unhappiest age - 47?

It's no surprise people are at their most miserable in their mid-late 40s. It's when the realization sinks in that you're only halfway through the bullshit cycle of working. You've done 25 years of this crap and you still have another 25 years left to go. Then, if you're lucky, you might have 10-15 left to finally enjoy your time off. I'm only just 40 and I've had the sense of impending doom for at least ten years.

Shit ****ing sucks.
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Old Jan 14th 2020, 7:19 pm
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Default Re: The unhappiest age - 47?

Just finished reading this article which touches on the same subject:

https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/why-midlifers-who-run-off-with-younger-women-usually-live-to-regret-it-lbt8mbhv9

... it’s no coincidence that the median age for divorce for men is 46.1 years, and the late forties are also a peak for male suicide and for male stress.

Thankfully still quite a few years off for me!
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Old Jan 14th 2020, 7:20 pm
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Default Re: The unhappiest age - 47?

In some ways i guess i was but it was work related not relationship. Kids had flown the coop, returned and left again! I wasn't happy in my job and was worried about future pensions,benefits etc. It took me about a year to make a career change, at 48 i landed a new job that had good benefits, better pay and a chance for promotion. After 16 1/2 years I was able to retire at almost 65 and be comfortable financially.

At 47 i had envisioned working until I was on my death bed!
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Old Jan 14th 2020, 8:51 pm
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Default Re: The unhappiest age - 47?

Originally Posted by SultanOfSwing View Post
It's no surprise people are at their most miserable in their mid-late 40s. It's when the realization sinks in that you're only halfway through the bullshit cycle of working. You've done 25 years of this crap and you still have another 25 years left to go. Then, if you're lucky, you might have 10-15 left to finally enjoy your time off. I'm only just 40 and I've had the sense of impending doom for at least ten years.

Shit ****ing sucks.
True. My dad was pretty miserable by his mid to late 40's, hated job but couldn't leave because his wage as good and nothing comparable he could get with the pension he had, so was tied to the job as he had 27 years in at that time so may as well stick it out til retirement, which he did, but the day he turned 57 or 58 and the pension was available, he quickly retired, birthday was middle of January and he was gone by February. Now he seems quite happy being able to do what he likes and what he wants with his time.

My step mom can retire in another 3 years or so.

Flip-side my mom's husband is miserable in retirement, absolutely miserable but he was one of those workers who had a pension, but then his company went bankrupt, and pension is fraction of what it should be through whatever federal program it is that took over the pension from the bankrupt company.

My mom is certainly less happy now, and I don't think she will ever be able to retire, most of her savings/retirement was eaten up in 2003-2005 with cancer treatments even with insurance aggressive cancer still costs a fortune, there were a few times she was thinking about stopping treatment due to the cost.

I can say for myself my happiest was between 19 and 25, looking back it was probably the best time of my life, and I doubt I will ever see that again, at least it was good while it lasted lol

Based on family history, I think my highest risk age will be from 44-50.

Last edited by Jsmth321; Jan 14th 2020 at 8:54 pm.
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Old Jan 14th 2020, 8:58 pm
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Default Re: The unhappiest age - 47?

Originally Posted by Jsmth321 View Post

I can say for myself my happiest was between 19 and 25, looking back it was probably the best time of my life, and I doubt I will ever see that again, at least it was good while it lasted
Never say never! Life is never smooth, sometimes it totally surprises you.
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Old Jan 14th 2020, 9:19 pm
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Default Re: The unhappiest age - 47?

Originally Posted by BristolUK View Post
So...47...how was it for you?
I was living in Rome rent free working for the Italian government earning more money than I'd ever dreamed of, allowing me to retire by the age of 52 so pretty good tbh
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Old Jan 14th 2020, 9:22 pm
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Default Re: The unhappiest age - 47?

Originally Posted by Jsmth321 View Post
True. My dad was pretty miserable by his mid to late 40's, hated job but couldn't leave because his wage as good and nothing comparable he could get with the pension he had, so was tied to the job as he had 27 years in at that time so may as well stick it out til retirement, which he did, but the day he turned 57 or 58 and the pension was available, he quickly retired, birthday was middle of January and he was gone by February. Now he seems quite happy being able to do what he likes and what he wants with his time.

My step mom can retire in another 3 years or so.

Flip-side my mom's husband is miserable in retirement, absolutely miserable but he was one of those workers who had a pension, but then his company went bankrupt, and pension is fraction of what it should be through whatever federal program it is that took over the pension from the bankrupt company.

My mom is certainly less happy now, and I don't think she will ever be able to retire, most of her savings/retirement was eaten up in 2003-2005 with cancer treatments even with insurance aggressive cancer still costs a fortune, there were a few times she was thinking about stopping treatment due to the cost.

I can say for myself my happiest was between 19 and 25, looking back it was probably the best time of my life, and I doubt I will ever see that again, at least it was good while it lasted lol

Based on family history, I think my highest risk age will be from 44-50.
I'm sorry to hear about your mom. It's scary how one serious illness can just throw everything off like that.

Usually (there are exceptions of course) 19-25 are good years for most people. I carry around a shit ton of nostalgia for the 90s too though, so I'd even venture that 11-19 were great years for me, but then I had the luxury of childhood too.

Generally, in my personal life I feel like I'm pretty happy. Just that I always feel like I'm on the verge of some kind of existential crisis and I can't shake it. While if I'm honest I've pretty much been a mess since my mum died, it's just in the last year or two that I noticed it, it's weird, I can't explain it, not like a sadness, just almost a fear. I must be feeling my own mortality or something. Which is why I tend to enjoy many various forms of escapism, like playing my computer and reading books and whatnot.
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Old Jan 14th 2020, 9:30 pm
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Default Re: The unhappiest age - 47?

midlifers run off with younger women
Originally Posted by BritInParis View Post
Just finished reading this article which touches on the same subject. Thankfully still quite a few years off for me!
Before you run off with a younger woman you mean?

I ran off to a younger woman rather than with her.




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Old Jan 14th 2020, 9:35 pm
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Default Re: The unhappiest age - 47?

Originally Posted by BristolUK View Post
I ran off to a younger woman rather than with her.
kept man??
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Old Jan 14th 2020, 9:55 pm
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Default Re: The unhappiest age - 47?

Originally Posted by SultanOfSwing View Post
I'm sorry to hear about your mom. It's scary how one serious illness can just throw everything off like that.

Usually (there are exceptions of course) 19-25 are good years for most people. I carry around a shit ton of nostalgia for the 90s too though, so I'd even venture that 11-19 were great years for me, but then I had the luxury of childhood too.

Generally, in my personal life I feel like I'm pretty happy. Just that I always feel like I'm on the verge of some kind of existential crisis and I can't shake it. While if I'm honest I've pretty much been a mess since my mum died, it's just in the last year or two that I noticed it, it's weird, I can't explain it, not like a sadness, just almost a fear. I must be feeling my own mortality or something. Which is why I tend to enjoy many various forms of escapism, like playing my computer and reading books and whatnot.

I hated school so much, so most of the 90's were not great, but the late 90's was good, which falls into the 19-25 age range for me.

Every-time I hear about someone my age dying it freaks me out more and more, seems once over 40 more and more people near your age start to die and its a reminder time is not on your side, I worry a lot about what is going inside my body and worry its something bad, something has to be causing the pain, tiredness, lack of appetite but the doctor did a battery of tests and can't find anything and since she can't find anything, she wont refer to a specialist since she has no reason for a referral and chances are a specialist would not accept the referral since the GP has no medical reason to refer.

Guess the tests coming back normal is a good sign though.

My mom was right around my age now when she got cancer, she smoked though, so likely increased her risk, cancer in general doesn't run on either side of the family so hopefully that trend continues.

Now heart attacks and strokes do run on my dad's side in males, so I figure one of those will take me out at some point, especially considering how out of shape my heart must be, should learn to enjoy exercise but in winter the weather is so crappy the last thing you want to do is go out and exercise for an hour.

Seems the only people who remain active in winter are those who enjoy and can afford winter sports like skiing/snowboarding and such. It's 19F today, I don't even have appropriate clothing to go out in that weather...lol



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Old Jan 14th 2020, 10:10 pm
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Default Re: The unhappiest age - 47?

Originally Posted by Jsmth321 View Post
I hated school so much, so most of the 90's were not great, but the late 90's was good, which falls into the 19-25 age range for me.
I'd say 1997 might have been the best year for me growing up. But that's when I turned 18 and left school, so that's a big part of it.

I didn't mind school that much though, but I was so quiet I was great at blending into the background so if nobody notices you, nobody can bother you

Originally Posted by Jsmth321 View Post
Every-time I hear about someone my age dying it freaks me out more and more, seems once over 40 more and more people near your age start to die and its a reminder time is not on your side, I worry a lot about what is going inside my body and worry its something bad, something has to be causing the pain, tiredness, lack of appetite but the doctor did a battery of tests and can't find anything and since she can't find anything, she wont refer to a specialist since she has no reason for a referral and chances are a specialist would not accept the referral since the GP has no medical reason to refer.

Guess the tests coming back normal is a good sign though.
There's nothing quite like seeing '1979- ' on an obituary to really drive home your mortality, is there? I really hope you're OK though. Do you think anxiety about what might be wrong is amplifying some of the symptoms and making you think you're worse than you are?

Originally Posted by Jsmth321 View Post
My mom was right around my age now when she got cancer, she smoked though, so likely increased her risk, cancer in general doesn't run on either side of the family so hopefully that trend continues.

Now heart attacks and strokes do run on my dad's side in males, so I figure one of those will take me out at some point, especially considering how out of shape my heart must be, should learn to enjoy exercise but in winter the weather is so crappy the last thing you want to do is go out and exercise for an hour.

Seems the only people who remain active in winter are those who enjoy and can afford winter sports like skiing/snowboarding and such. It's 19F today, I don't even have appropriate clothing to go out in that weather...lol
Fingers crossed that her cancer was smoking related and not genetic, sounds like you have enough to worry about.

You can exercise at home as well though, there are bodyweight fitness programs that can keep you going until it's nice enough to go out for a walk/run. I have my indoor soccer over the winter but I really need to get back to the gym, or cancel there and find something else to do because I'm an embarrassment to myself right now as far as fitness goes.
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Old Jan 14th 2020, 11:11 pm
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Default Re: The unhappiest age - 47?

I figure it something with the GI system, I have GI issues for 21 years now (IBS) so the doctor is saying its likely stress or something making it flare more often. I liked my pre-IBS life, ha ha, seems that a GI infection I caught in 1999 when I was spending time visiting my grandfather is likely the culprit as until that GI infection, I had 0 GI issues, all started after that infection. No amount of pre and probiotics helps, before someone asks, and I have colonoscopies and there isn't any sign of disease, but the doctor called my colon very spastic one of the worse he has seen, but tissue was healthy looking and the samples they took came back healthy, these were done in 2011 and 2016 to rule out more serious issues.

It could very likely be stress induced, its speeding up my graying, I have more gray hair then my dad, but I still have more hair on my head then he does...lol

I was quiet in school, but apparently weird enough to attract unwanted attention from bullies so it didn't work in my advantage lol

Originally Posted by SultanOfSwing View Post
I'd say 1997 might have been the best year for me growing up. But that's when I turned 18 and left school, so that's a big part of it.

I didn't mind school that much though, but I was so quiet I was great at blending into the background so if nobody notices you, nobody can bother you



There's nothing quite like seeing '1979- ' on an obituary to really drive home your mortality, is there? I really hope you're OK though. Do you think anxiety about what might be wrong is amplifying some of the symptoms and making you think you're worse than you are?



Fingers crossed that her cancer was smoking related and not genetic, sounds like you have enough to worry about.

You can exercise at home as well though, there are bodyweight fitness programs that can keep you going until it's nice enough to go out for a walk/run. I have my indoor soccer over the winter but I really need to get back to the gym, or cancel there and find something else to do because I'm an embarrassment to myself right now as far as fitness goes.
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Old Jan 15th 2020, 5:18 am
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Default Re: The unhappiest age - 47?

Originally Posted by BristolUK View Post
So...47...how was it for you?
I'll let you know in 16 years when I get there.

But **** me, reading this thread is making me think I need to live faster, harder, smoking and drinking like a champion so I die before I get to my 40s.
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