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Mouse gone or not

Mouse gone or not

Old Apr 9th 2010, 3:57 am
  #46  
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Default Re: Mouse gone or not

Originally Posted by karonious View Post
Excellent!!
Have just ordered one online

Kiwi Bloke and the girl have just come back with the shopping - they have just bought 'mouse attractant' to put on the traps we already have....
FFS!!! we KNOW the bastard LIKES the traps!! It's been dining well off them for the past bloody week!
Hmmm - I wonder if this stuff smells like panting, turned on, other-sex (or indeed same-sex for all I care) mouse and the twat will rub itself all over the traps in an attempt at self-gratification? Gotta to be worth a try And if perchance the trap slams down on it's little furry neck would there be a fleeting moment of mousie auto-eroticism?




Originally Posted by Leslie66 View Post
If you ever say "bloke" you'll be up for severe sanctions.
Originally Posted by another bloody yank View Post
No worries there, I can't even make myself think it much less say it or type it.
'BLOKE'......
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Old Apr 9th 2010, 7:40 am
  #47  
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Default Re: Mouse gone or not

Right, the mauser (mouse gun, geddit?) just isn't coming together.
So Plan B
A monster catapult - by monster I mean really big, not one for catapulting monsters with cos that would just be silly, wouldn't it?
And a Triumph Doreen bra size 38 DD. Have you SEEN one of those buggers - heavy duty or what??
In the left cup, a cute fluffy loveable kitten
In the right cup, mean old snarly tom cat.
But wait I hear you say - the weight difference means it won't fire straight...
Wrong!! Cute fluffy kitten has a cute lead cosh snuggled in the waistband of it's cute fluffy underpants and when the little bastard mouse that has taken up residence in my pan cupboard (twat is claiming squatters rights now) is helpless with laughter and pissing itself yet again, cute flurry kitten is going to cosh his ****ing brains out.
Sounds like a plan eh??

{Someone once referred to him as Kiwi Bloke and that's how I tend to refer to him on here. My sincere and genuine apologies. Please don't ban me}
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Old Apr 9th 2010, 11:26 am
  #48  
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Default Re: Mouse gone or not

Originally Posted by karonious View Post
Cos if I haven't got the little twat with 2 mousetraps already, I'm going in the all guns blazing.....ahh what about a mouse gun - that'll sort the bastard out.....
FYI- when you use poison, the mice usually die in some obscure spot in a wall or ceiling and stink to high hell for weeks
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Old Apr 9th 2010, 4:14 pm
  #49  
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Default Re: Mouse gone or not

Get a trap that kills the little bggrs. If you get a humane trap and let them out somewhere outside, they will find their way back and you will have the same problem all over again. Be done with them once and for all. Bait the trap with peanut butter with a raisin stuck on it.
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Old Apr 9th 2010, 4:20 pm
  #50  
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Default Re: Mouse gone or not

Originally Posted by joto View Post
Get a trap that kills the little bggrs. If you get a humane trap and let them out somewhere outside, they will find their way back and you will have the same problem all over again. Be done with them once and for all. Bait the trap with peanut butter with a raisin stuck on it.
I once caught a mouse in a humane trap. I was afraid to open it myself so I took it to work and gave it to one of the guys I worked with to deal with. He squished it with a brick.
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Old Apr 9th 2010, 4:41 pm
  #51  
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Default Re: Mouse gone or not

Originally Posted by Leslie66 View Post
I once caught a mouse in a humane trap. I was afraid to open it myself so I took it to work and gave it to one of the guys I worked with to deal with. He squished it with a brick.
Our old neighborhood in the city was infested with cats. A house across the alley and a couple houses down from us had an old cabin cruiser boat in the back yard and the cats had taken it over. At any one time you could see about 30 cats laying on it or in it's immediate vicinity. At night all these cats would fight and yell at each other and make a general ungodly racket.

We had an old retired guy who lived down the street from us and decided to do something about it. He went and got a bunch of humane traps from the Humane Society. After a while we noticed the cat population decreasing and figured that his plan was working.

What we didn't know was that as he collected the cats out of the traps he was gassing them with the exhaust from his car.

About two months after he got the traps, we saw him on the news getting arrested. He had called the humane society to tell them that the traps were working great, and could they come and pick up all the dead cats out of his freezer.

He had no clue what he had done wrong. He kept saying "But they gave me the traps!"
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Old Apr 9th 2010, 5:03 pm
  #52  
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Default Re: Mouse gone or not

Originally Posted by another bloody yank View Post
Our old neighborhood in the city was infested with cats. A house across the alley and a couple houses down from us had an old cabin cruiser boat in the back yard and the cats had taken it over. At any one time you could see about 30 cats laying on it or in it's immediate vicinity. At night all these cats would fight and yell at each other and make a general ungodly racket.

We had an old retired guy who lived down the street from us and decided to do something about it. He went and got a bunch of humane traps from the Humane Society. After a while we noticed the cat population decreasing and figured that his plan was working.

What we didn't know was that as he collected the cats out of the traps he was gassing them with the exhaust from his car.

About two months after he got the traps, we saw him on the news getting arrested. He had called the humane society to tell them that the traps were working great, and could they come and pick up all the dead cats out of his freezer.

He had no clue what he had done wrong. He kept saying "But they gave me the traps!"
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Old Apr 9th 2010, 5:04 pm
  #53  
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Default Re: Mouse gone or not

Originally Posted by willmore View Post
I told you - ritz crackers and peanut butter. Put them in a humane mouse trap and before you can say "canada won the gold medal at the olympics in hockey" they will be trapped in there.....seriously it works.....we can rent them here, so check it out....
OMG!! rent mousetraps??
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Old Apr 9th 2010, 8:41 pm
  #54  
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Default Re: Mouse gone or not

Originally Posted by Leslie66 View Post
I once caught a mouse in a humane trap. I was afraid to open it myself so I took it to work and gave it to one of the guys I worked with to deal with. He squished it with a brick.
Another case of man's inability to live side-by-side and in harmony with all creatures great and small. Instead because of his insecurity he must kill, kill, kill in order to satisfy and prove his manhood.....

No wonder there are so many wars - all started by men.....

Originally Posted by Englishtart View Post
OMG!! rent mousetraps??
More of a donation to the SPCA and well worth it....
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Old Apr 9th 2010, 8:56 pm
  #55  
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Default Re: Mouse gone or not

Originally Posted by willmore View Post
Another case of man's inability to live side-by-side and in harmony with all creatures great and small. Instead because of his insecurity he must kill, kill, kill in order to satisfy and prove his manhood.....

No wonder there are so many wars - all started by men.....


Men!
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Old Apr 9th 2010, 9:47 pm
  #56  
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Default Re: Mouse gone or not

Originally Posted by willmore View Post
No wonder there are so many wars - all started by men.....
Utter nonsense! If women were in charge there would be wars everytime two of them turned up in the same dress!

In fact, the world would be in anarchy for one week of every month and you know it.
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Old Apr 10th 2010, 11:17 pm
  #57  
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Default Re: Mouse gone or not

Originally Posted by zargof View Post
Utter nonsense! If women were in charge there would be wars everytime two of them turned up in the same dress!

In fact, the world would be in anarchy for one week of every month and you know it.
Let the record show, that history proves you very wrong....
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Old Apr 11th 2010, 12:06 am
  #58  
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Default Re: Mouse gone or not

Originally Posted by another bloody yank View Post
"Chum" sprang to mind as well but the context was wrong.

Chump, would have been perfect.
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Old Apr 11th 2010, 1:29 am
  #59  
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Default Re: Mouse gone or not

Originally Posted by zargof View Post
Utter nonsense! If women were in charge there would be wars everytime two of them turned up in the same dress!

In fact, the world would be in anarchy for one week of every month and you know it.
Not if they were post menopausal.

You've obviously lived with some very vain and volatile women.
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Old Apr 11th 2010, 1:33 am
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Default Re: Mouse gone or not

Originally Posted by St.Georges Girl View Post
You've obviously lived with some women.
I removed the redundant words for you.
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