Curse of the Expat
#31
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Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 42




I came here with $350k I am now seriously in debt,no work it sucks so I am going back to the UK where I have a job waiting.
I have some Brit friends here who are on the bones of their ass,he was earning 40 thousand pounds in the Uk here he gets $22k they have no money to go out or do anything and cry to me daily but still tell everyone at home it is sooooooo good here ,I think loads of expats up sell their move to prove they did the right thing!!!!
I have some Brit friends here who are on the bones of their ass,he was earning 40 thousand pounds in the Uk here he gets $22k they have no money to go out or do anything and cry to me daily but still tell everyone at home it is sooooooo good here ,I think loads of expats up sell their move to prove they did the right thing!!!!


#33

Isn't the 'real curse' of the expat returning home and not fitting back in despite trying; and then ping-ponging back or similar?
I deffo won't be doing that as we only left UK for OH's job 8 years ago, dissatisfaction with UK life simply was not any part of the reasoning.
Been in NZ for 5 of the 8 years and company have now given OH a job back in Blighty - yippee.
For every positive of life in NZ there is a massive downside
e.g. sunny = good skin cancer = bad
The biggest downside of all is the geographic isolation and that is simply sth which even unlimited money cannot solve.
I think I will relish the 'why did you want to come back here?' comments as they won't come from close friends and family anyway.
I feel no need to justify anything but like the educational approach others have mentioned.....but will probably hope to shut them up with 'because I love the UK and always have'
SO, so long as you remain happy with your decision, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks and says.
I deffo won't be doing that as we only left UK for OH's job 8 years ago, dissatisfaction with UK life simply was not any part of the reasoning.
Been in NZ for 5 of the 8 years and company have now given OH a job back in Blighty - yippee.
For every positive of life in NZ there is a massive downside
e.g. sunny = good skin cancer = bad
The biggest downside of all is the geographic isolation and that is simply sth which even unlimited money cannot solve.
I think I will relish the 'why did you want to come back here?' comments as they won't come from close friends and family anyway.
I feel no need to justify anything but like the educational approach others have mentioned.....but will probably hope to shut them up with 'because I love the UK and always have'
SO, so long as you remain happy with your decision, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks and says.

#34
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Joined: Jan 2011
Location: The REAL Utopia.
Posts: 9,910












Actually the average person here doesnt earn anything like 71k, the 'mean' figure is quite a bit lower than that. Also dont be fooled by the official unemployment figures, the idea that as long as you have ambition you will be fine is just ridiculous.

#35
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Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 63









Been back in UK for over a year now. Loving being back but silly things still annoy me.
The weather I can handle, it's what makes the UK the UK!
What really gets to me is the constant need to justify my decison to leave Oz. No matter where I go I meet someone who has family there and they love it, so I must be wrong. I then find myself arguing with these people as they compare their life in UK with their relatives lives in Oz. Their rellies tell them it's womderful out there so once again, I must be lying.
Does anyone else have to justify leaving Oz?
Rant Over.
The weather I can handle, it's what makes the UK the UK!
What really gets to me is the constant need to justify my decison to leave Oz. No matter where I go I meet someone who has family there and they love it, so I must be wrong. I then find myself arguing with these people as they compare their life in UK with their relatives lives in Oz. Their rellies tell them it's womderful out there so once again, I must be lying.
Does anyone else have to justify leaving Oz?
Rant Over.
In reality they are bitterly annoyed of you having achieved what they know they never could- that is live and work abroad.
Forget about it..its common.

#36

I have been back 13 months now from Oz and have lost track of the amount of people who have asked why I wanted to come back to this ****hole, what about the beaches and the sun, blah blah blah.
None of my family and friends ask this, only strangers who have never been further than the Costa del Sol for a 2 week holiday and think living in a sunnier climate therefore means you have a holiday lifestyle of lying around the pool all day sipping Pina Colada's. They forget you have to go to work every day and for me as the years went on it became more boring once the novelty wore off as I am not a person to sit around on the beach and get fried!!
I have been to more places of interest to me this last year since I have been back than I did for years in Oz.
A show on ITV at the moment is Poms in Paradise, I haven't watched it but the title says it all.
None of my family and friends ask this, only strangers who have never been further than the Costa del Sol for a 2 week holiday and think living in a sunnier climate therefore means you have a holiday lifestyle of lying around the pool all day sipping Pina Colada's. They forget you have to go to work every day and for me as the years went on it became more boring once the novelty wore off as I am not a person to sit around on the beach and get fried!!
I have been to more places of interest to me this last year since I have been back than I did for years in Oz.
A show on ITV at the moment is Poms in Paradise, I haven't watched it but the title says it all.
Last edited by Beedubya; Apr 15th 2012 at 12:05 pm.

#37
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Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 120












I had one of these conversations with my neighbour in the pub on friday night who when finding out that we had returned from Vancouver last year said "You must be missing that!" I think she began to regret it slightly when I put her straight on this for at least 10 mins and I could have gone on for much longer but noticed her glazed expression
. I don't think I managed to convince her though as she had visited Vancouver a few years ago and had long since dreamt of living there.
Funnily enough she said she had a Brit friend visiting from California next week who is very depressed and wants to return but can't due to teenage kids for most of the same reasons that I gave.

Funnily enough she said she had a Brit friend visiting from California next week who is very depressed and wants to return but can't due to teenage kids for most of the same reasons that I gave.

#38
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Joined: Feb 2012
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and im calling you out !!! if you read my post #21 you will see that I am in Canada not Aus

#39
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Joined: Oct 2011
Location: HOME!!!!!!
Posts: 454












I was back last week for a fleeting visit with my sister and some meetings. I got the same response from people (except my sis of course!) "Why you want to leave California? It's so sunny"
I then respond with "Have you ever been there?" and of course no one has so I go into a 5 minute monologue about the state of the US and why Brits feel it's OK to belittle the UK when they've never lived overseas and they don't know how good they have it and maybe they should start viewing their country with a little more respect.......phew!!!!!
Anyway that usually does the trick!!!
Glazed eyes, nervous cough and then "oh right....well I'd rather live here then..."
I'm sure I'm a bit harsh on poor old US but I really want to give them both sides of the picture when it comes to Expat life in the "good ol' USA" Is not all sunshine and tans.
I then respond with "Have you ever been there?" and of course no one has so I go into a 5 minute monologue about the state of the US and why Brits feel it's OK to belittle the UK when they've never lived overseas and they don't know how good they have it and maybe they should start viewing their country with a little more respect.......phew!!!!!
Anyway that usually does the trick!!!

I'm sure I'm a bit harsh on poor old US but I really want to give them both sides of the picture when it comes to Expat life in the "good ol' USA" Is not all sunshine and tans.

#40
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Joined: Feb 2011
Location: North Yorkshire
Posts: 983












I`m sure if the boot was on the other foot I`d be saying the things they`re saying, but it`s only when you`ve lived in the other country you know the reality! Memo to self, take earplugs back or develop selective hearing!

#41
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Joined: Jun 2011
Location: Croydon
Posts: 103







That's exactly what I tell people when they ask why I came back to the UK from the US after 23 years. "This is my home". Nuff said!

#42
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Joined: Feb 2008
Location: Lincolnshire
Posts: 291












Now I am back I have found that the Brits have been much more understanding than the Canadians. When I tell them that I feel at home, they just say how pleased they are to have me back and have helped me enormously.

#43

Yes, I've found this too. Although some people (usually strangers) start by asking 'why did you come back?' as soon as I say it's because I missed England, they seem really pleased. I wonder if most Brits secretly want to feel proud of their country but get conditioned by the negativity. I don't know if that's right, but I have been quite touched by the genuinely happy reactions people have when they realize you came home because you think Britain is better than wherever you were.

#44
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Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 83


I was back last week for a fleeting visit with my sister and some meetings. I got the same response from people (except my sis of course!) "Why you want to leave California? It's so sunny"
I then respond with "Have you ever been there?" and of course no one has so I go into a 5 minute monologue about the state of the US and why Brits feel it's OK to belittle the UK when they've never lived overseas and they don't know how good they have it and maybe they should start viewing their country with a little more respect.......phew!!!!!
Anyway that usually does the trick!!!
Glazed eyes, nervous cough and then "oh right....well I'd rather live here then..."
I'm sure I'm a bit harsh on poor old US but I really want to give them both sides of the picture when it comes to Expat life in the "good ol' USA" Is not all sunshine and tans.
I then respond with "Have you ever been there?" and of course no one has so I go into a 5 minute monologue about the state of the US and why Brits feel it's OK to belittle the UK when they've never lived overseas and they don't know how good they have it and maybe they should start viewing their country with a little more respect.......phew!!!!!
Anyway that usually does the trick!!!

I'm sure I'm a bit harsh on poor old US but I really want to give them both sides of the picture when it comes to Expat life in the "good ol' USA" Is not all sunshine and tans.

#45
Forum Regular


Joined: Mar 2011
Location: Toronto To Skipton Yorkshire
Posts: 88


Yes, I've found this too. Although some people (usually strangers) start by asking 'why did you come back?' as soon as I say it's because I missed England, they seem really pleased. I wonder if most Brits secretly want to feel proud of their country but get conditioned by the negativity. I don't know if that's right, but I have been quite touched by the genuinely happy reactions people have when they realize you came home because you think Britain is better than wherever you were.
