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Curse of the Expat

Curse of the Expat

Old Apr 9th 2012, 11:28 am
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Default Re: Curse of the Expat

I certainly wont be justifying it to anyone, no doubt i will have people who have never been to Australia telling me how much better everything is here and i must be mad to come to the UK. I happen to love both countries, not that I would say that on the other forum The thing is though there is more for US in the UK and we dont need to justify it to anyone.
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Old Apr 9th 2012, 12:30 pm
  #17  
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Default Re: Curse of the Expat

Originally Posted by chris955 View Post
I certainly wont be justifying it to anyone, no doubt i will have people who have never been to Australia telling me how much better everything is here and i must be mad to come to the UK. I happen to love both countries, not that I would say that on the other forum The thing is though there is more for US in the UK and we dont need to justify it to anyone.
Totally agree. I grew up in Oz and my parents returned to the UK when I was 14, I had no choice and resented the move bitterly at the time. I have no regrets about coming back to Oz, I needed to do it to get it out of my system and make me realise how much I loved the UK and what was important to me. I try not to wish my life away but the next 6 months can't go fast enough really. I'm not going to justify myself to anyone, either here or there, but on both a personal and professional level there is more for me in the UK and I'm happy with my decision!
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Old Apr 9th 2012, 12:36 pm
  #18  
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Default Re: Curse of the Expat

Originally Posted by MissBetty View Post
I'm prepared for this, saw my parents go through it with friends and family when they returned to the UK from Oz in the 80's! Going somewhere on holiday is so different from actually living there and people just don't understand unless you have been through it like so many people on this forum. I think a lot of people who immigrate, myself included, go through stages as follows!

1. Hate UK want to leave.
2. Want to live in Oz and prepared to immigrate.
3. All excited, can't wait to start new life!
4. Euphoria, love the sunshine/beaches - this is the life!
5. Reality sets in, still have to work but life is good.
6. First holiday back to UK ,all is great, nice to see everyone but missing Oz.
7. Few years in, start to get fed up, missing family, don't belong.
8. Second holiday back to UK, this time don't want to leave
9. In turmoil, should I stay or go? Weigh up pros/cons - torture!
10. Find British Expats - phew! I'm not alone or going mad!!!!
11. Make decision to leave.
12. Realise the UK is actually a great place to live after all - hurrah!

I'm not dissing Australia, I have had a great time here, its a beautiful country but the UK has so much to offer as well, I had to go away to realise just what I did have - right under my nose! People get stuck in a rut and think all their problems would disappear if they moved to another country but life just isn't that simple! I'm at stage 11 atm, 6 months and I'll be home
You hit the nail on the head!
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Old Apr 9th 2012, 12:37 pm
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Default Re: Curse of the Expat

The only person you need to justify your decision with is yourself, if you are at peace with your decision then it is no-ones business but your own.

In fact, when they ask you why you are moving, just reply 'Because I want to and I can'

Your decision, your choice and nothing to do with anyone. People try to have way to much say in the lives of others yet are thin on the ground when friendship is really needed, you cant see them for dust then.
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Old Apr 9th 2012, 4:38 pm
  #20  
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Default Re: Curse of the Expat

A very interesting thread. I have to been asked to justify why I am leaving Canada to the Canadians and why I am coming back to the UK to the English. I have no qualms about this - people who have never immigrated don't understand ... although they still don't understand it after you have told them why!!!

What bugs me more than anything is all the experts on immigration and international moving who question my decisions on how I am doing it!!! And none of them have any experience or understand all the research we do in making those decisions ...

thank goodness for this forum. It makes me feel more sane!
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Old Apr 9th 2012, 4:54 pm
  #21  
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Default Re: Curse of the Expat

Originally Posted by isleofmanmike View Post
How terrible....all that money gone....how long have you been in AUS for?
I am in Canada and have been for over 10 years but its the same whether its Aus,Can or any other country
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Old Apr 10th 2012, 11:04 am
  #22  
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Default Re: Curse of the Expat

Originally Posted by Moggiemiss View Post
A very interesting thread. I have to been asked to justify why I am leaving Canada to the Canadians and why I am coming back to the UK to the English. I have no qualms about this - people who have never immigrated don't understand ... although they still don't understand it after you have told them why!!!

What bugs me more than anything is all the experts on immigration and international moving who question my decisions on how I am doing it!!! And none of them have any experience or understand all the research we do in making those decisions ...

thank goodness for this forum. It makes me feel more sane!
Isn't it interesting how everyone on both sides weighs in on the issue? I had an easy answer when asked - "I'm getting married" which seemed to shut everyone up at least on the subject of WHY I was leaving but my now husband got his share of it over here along the lines of "well why aren't you going to Canada????". Like others have said, unless you've been an immigrant yourself you can't fully understand what it's like and in the end it really is your own business and you'll run into this whether you went to Canada, US, Aus, NZ etc.

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Old Apr 10th 2012, 1:32 pm
  #23  
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Default Re: Curse of the Expat

Originally Posted by jonmof View Post
Been back in UK for over a year now. Loving being back but silly things still annoy me.

The weather I can handle, it's what makes the UK the UK!

What really gets to me is the constant need to justify my decison to leave Oz. No matter where I go I meet someone who has family there and they love it, so I must be wrong. I then find myself arguing with these people as they compare their life in UK with their relatives lives in Oz. Their rellies tell them it's womderful out there so once again, I must be lying.

Does anyone else have to justify leaving Oz?
Rant Over.
LOLLLLL people in Britain are forever thinking that life in any other western-type country in the world is vastly superior to theirs. The response I get when I tell people that I live in NYC and that I'd like to trade it in for a nice quiet life in Cornwall or somewhere is amazing, they look at me like I've slapped them!
They're just ignorant of the experience, and have bought into the fantasy that because Australia/Canada/US are sunny and big, life must be all rainbows and fairytales.
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Old Apr 10th 2012, 1:42 pm
  #24  
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Default Re: Curse of the Expat

That is exactly right, it MUST be better in another country. They have never even been to Australia but will tell you what a great place it is to live.

Originally Posted by Sarah View Post
LOLLLLL people in Britain are forever thinking that life in any other western-type country in the world is vastly superior to theirs. The response I get when I tell people that I live in NYC and that I'd like to trade it in for a nice quiet life in Cornwall or somewhere is amazing, they look at me like I've slapped them!
They're just ignorant of the experience, and have bought into the fantasy that because Australia/Canada/US are sunny and big, life must be all rainbows and fairytales.
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Old Apr 11th 2012, 1:51 am
  #25  
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Default Re: Curse of the Expat

I wonder if it is something to do with the British psyche of running themselves down ...

Not valuing the beauty of the countryside, the history and culture, the architecture, the sense of humour, etc.

When you have lived somewhere where they consider an old building dates back to the 19th century, you realise that newer is not necessarily better!!

I have been watching the US Antiques Roadshow on TV (must get a life) and anything older than 150 years is ususally from Europe!
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Old Apr 11th 2012, 4:44 am
  #26  
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Default Re: Curse of the Expat

Originally Posted by Moggiemiss View Post
I wonder if it is something to do with the British psyche of running themselves down ...

Not valuing the beauty of the countryside, the history and culture, the architecture, the sense of humour, etc.

When you have lived somewhere where they consider an old building dates back to the 19th century, you realise that newer is not necessarily better!!

I have been watching the US Antiques Roadshow on TV (must get a life) and anything older than 150 years is ususally from Europe!
I watch that on occasion. Stuff that really is just old, not antique baffles me.
I remember when I'd only been here a few years and was in one really pissy mood, someone (one of MIL's friends) was bragging about something being old and antique, I blurted out, "thats not old I've used toilets older than that" MIL laughed coffee out her nose.
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Old Apr 12th 2012, 4:26 pm
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Default Re: Curse of the Expat

To flip the coin.

I would consider myself very level headed. I cannot believe how ignorant people are since I have decided to emigrate.

When I tell people we are emigrating, all I get it is:

"Best decision you have ever made"
"Get out of this **** hole"
"UK has gone to the dogs"

etc etc

They have never been there!! I actually find myself saying I am sure there are things we will hate about canada andmiss about the U.K and I just get a blank expression or "I doubt that"!

So I can imagine how annoying people are if you do ever return! Not one person has said why would you want to leave?
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Old Apr 12th 2012, 4:33 pm
  #28  
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Default Re: Curse of the Expat

Originally Posted by jonmof View Post
Been back in UK for over a year now. Loving being back but silly things still annoy me.

The weather I can handle, it's what makes the UK the UK!

What really gets to me is the constant need to justify my decison to leave Oz. No matter where I go I meet someone who has family there and they love it, so I must be wrong. I then find myself arguing with these people as they compare their life in UK with their relatives lives in Oz. Their rellies tell them it's womderful out there so once again, I must be lying.

Does anyone else have to justify leaving Oz?
Rant Over.
If I'm asked why I would like to return to the UK I always say...'because it's home and the US will never be my home.' I don't normally get much of a response to that.
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Old Apr 12th 2012, 4:55 pm
  #29  
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Default Re: Curse of the Expat

Originally Posted by Jerseygirl View Post
If I'm asked why I would like to return to the UK I always say...'because it's home and the US will never be my home.' I don't normally get much of a response to that.
I like this

I wish I could say it, but unfortunately, it'll be a loooong time before I've been in the UK long enough to call it home and be done with it. All I can say (and do say when asked) is that the US just isn't home. Dunno where home is exactly, but this sure isn't it. And that's all. It does make me feel a bit traitorous though because my parents live here and love it to pieces. *Sigh*

That's the hardest thing to do about all this- brush off all those "well meaning" comments like "Trust me, this place is terrible" or "We've got the highest unemployment rate in 20 years!" Or "It's just too expensive, and you probably won't find a job". All of which I've been told by my rellies time and time again. In the end though, all of us can only find out for ourselves. That's the real curse of the expat: you're always having to do it yourself.
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Old Apr 12th 2012, 5:07 pm
  #30  
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Default Re: Curse of the Expat

Originally Posted by Tel8 View Post
I like this

I wish I could say it, but unfortunately, it'll be a loooong time before I've been in the UK long enough to call it home and be done with it. All I can say (and do say when asked) is that the US just isn't home. Dunno where home is exactly, but this sure isn't it. And that's all. It does make me feel a bit traitorous though because my parents live here and love it to pieces. *Sigh*

That's the hardest thing to do about all this- brush off all those "well meaning" comments like "Trust me, this place is terrible" or "We've got the highest unemployment rate in 20 years!" Or "It's just too expensive, and you probably won't find a job". All of which I've been told by my rellies time and time again. In the end though, all of us can only find out for ourselves. That's the real curse of the expat: you're always having to do it yourself.
Exactly...you have to experience it. When I visit the UK people often say...'you are lucky...I wish I could get out of this dump'...or something similar. I then say 'have you ever lived outside the UK'...of course the answer is no. I then smile and say 'quite often you have to live overseas before you really appreciate what a great country the UK is.'
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