British Expats

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-   -   Curse of the Expat (https://britishexpats.com/forum/lounge-7/curse-expat-754112/)

jonmof Apr 7th 2012 10:08 am

Curse of the Expat
 
Been back in UK for over a year now. Loving being back but silly things still annoy me.

The weather I can handle, it's what makes the UK the UK!

What really gets to me is the constant need to justify my decison to leave Oz. No matter where I go I meet someone who has family there and they love it, so I must be wrong. I then find myself arguing with these people as they compare their life in UK with their relatives lives in Oz. Their rellies tell them it's womderful out there so once again, I must be lying.

Does anyone else have to justify leaving Oz?
Rant Over.

Lorry1 Apr 7th 2012 10:19 pm

Re: Curse of the Expat
 

Originally Posted by jonmof (Post 9993311)
Been back in UK for over a year now. Loving being back but silly things still annoy me.

The weather I can handle, it's what makes the UK the UK!

What really gets to me is the constant need to justify my decison to leave Oz. No matter where I go I meet someone who has family there and they love it, so I must be wrong. I then find myself arguing with these people as they compare their life in UK with their relatives lives in Oz. Their rellies tell them it's womderful out there so once again, I must be lying.

Does anyone else have to justify leaving Oz?
Rant Over.

Hello,
You shouldn't have to justify to anyone why you left OZ. You left because you wanted to...simple.
Not worth arguing about. These people have never lived in another Country, they just hear stories from their relatives. Let them dream if they want to. You lived it for a while but it didn't work out.
You came back to England because you could. End of :)

johnh009 Apr 7th 2012 10:40 pm

Re: Curse of the Expat
 

Originally Posted by jonmof (Post 9993311)
Been back in UK for over a year now. Loving being back but silly things still annoy me.

The weather I can handle, it's what makes the UK the UK!

What really gets to me is the constant need to justify my decison to leave Oz. No matter where I go I meet someone who has family there and they love it, so I must be wrong. I then find myself arguing with these people as they compare their life in UK with their relatives lives in Oz. Their rellies tell them it's womderful out there so once again, I must be lying.

Does anyone else have to justify leaving Oz?
Rant Over.

I left Canada and get the same. People go for a holiday to Niagara Falls for 2 weeks in summer, get cheap food and petrol and think that it is paradise. Living there is a different issue. To be fair, Canada is very vanilla, nothing really bad about it but it seems that people either love or hate Oz. The relatives may have been led up the garden path, often, when people emigrate, they feel the need to justify that they have made the right decision.

bigals Apr 8th 2012 12:01 am

Re: Curse of the Expat
 
I came here with $350k I am now seriously in debt,no work it sucks so I am going back to the UK where I have a job waiting.
I have some Brit friends here who are on the bones of their ass,he was earning 40 thousand pounds in the Uk here he gets $22k they have no money to go out or do anything and cry to me daily but still tell everyone at home it is sooooooo good here ,I think loads of expats up sell their move to prove they did the right thing!!!!:thumbdown:

dragon5254 Apr 8th 2012 4:35 am

Re: Curse of the Expat
 

Originally Posted by jonmof (Post 9993311)
Been back in UK for over a year now. Loving being back but silly things still annoy me.

The weather I can handle, it's what makes the UK the UK!

What really gets to me is the constant need to justify my decison to leave Oz. No matter where I go I meet someone who has family there and they love it, so I must be wrong. I then find myself arguing with these people as they compare their life in UK with their relatives lives in Oz. Their rellies tell them it's womderful out there so once again, I must be lying.

Does anyone else have to justify leaving Oz?
Rant Over.

To be honest, i don't understand why so many people seem to "know' what is the best for other people. Bottom line is, you went to Australia - the other side of the world - tried it, decided that long term you didn't want to live there. I'm sure you've got some good and not so good memories but hey, it was an adventure and good on you for trying! Why argue with people....none of their business. And well done!!

quoll Apr 8th 2012 7:34 am

Re: Curse of the Expat
 
I do sometimes have to justify but for the most part I am over enthusiastic about my leaving Aus and my preference for UK so that they dont bang on about it beyond the first "I bet you wish you were back there now". I usually launch into a 5 minute diatribe about the things I hated and that shuts them up - occasionally you see a little glimmer of understanding so my mission will continue!!! At the moment it doesnt bother me and if I can educate in the process then all to the good!

brissybee Apr 8th 2012 7:52 am

Re: Curse of the Expat
 

Originally Posted by quoll (Post 9994414)
I do sometimes have to justify but for the most part I am over enthusiastic about my leaving Aus and my preference for UK so that they dont bang on about it beyond the first "I bet you wish you were back there now". I usually launch into a 5 minute diatribe about the things I hated and that shuts them up - occasionally you see a little glimmer of understanding so my mission will continue!!! At the moment it doesnt bother me and if I can educate in the process then all to the good!

Please keep up the good work... it will (hopefully) make my life easier (eventually!) :lol:

dunroving Apr 8th 2012 12:29 pm

Re: Curse of the Expat
 
You won't change people's attitudes so change the way you respond (don't let it bug you so much, just acccept that's the way they are).

J.JsOH Apr 8th 2012 12:34 pm

Re: Curse of the Expat
 
I don't see why a return to UK from abroad has to be 'justified' any more than one would justify a move back to their home town after living elsewhere within the UK.
It suited me at the time to be overseas and now it suits me to now be in the UK. It is what I want. End of conversation.

MissBetty Apr 8th 2012 12:46 pm

Re: Curse of the Expat
 
I'm prepared for this, saw my parents go through it with friends and family when they returned to the UK from Oz in the 80's! Going somewhere on holiday is so different from actually living there and people just don't understand unless you have been through it like so many people on this forum. I think a lot of people who immigrate, myself included, go through stages as follows!

1. Hate UK want to leave.
2. Want to live in Oz and prepared to immigrate.
3. All excited, can't wait to start new life!
4. Euphoria, love the sunshine/beaches - this is the life!
5. Reality sets in, still have to work but life is good.
6. First holiday back to UK ,all is great, nice to see everyone but missing Oz.
7. Few years in, start to get fed up, missing family, don't belong.
8. Second holiday back to UK, this time don't want to leave :(
9. In turmoil, should I stay or go? Weigh up pros/cons - torture!
10. Find British Expats - phew! I'm not alone or going mad!!!!
11. Make decision to leave.
12. Realise the UK is actually a great place to live after all - hurrah!

I'm not dissing Australia, I have had a great time here, its a beautiful country but the UK has so much to offer as well, I had to go away to realise just what I did have - right under my nose! People get stuck in a rut and think all their problems would disappear if they moved to another country but life just isn't that simple! I'm at stage 11 atm, 6 months and I'll be home :thumbsup:

jemima55 Apr 8th 2012 2:50 pm

Re: Curse of the Expat
 
I fear that most of us who return will get this to a certain extent, due to us Brits and our media having a general downer on our own country and not sufficiently appreciating what is good about Britain. Maybe you can only see that when you go elsewhere for a while. Also, as someone said, what people at home are fed is "dreams" of what life is like elsewhere.It`s always couched in that stupid language "living the dream", as if other countries are like Shangri-la and hold all the secrets to a happy life. Many of our friends and neighbours are well aware that they either dont want to leave the UK or are just not brave enough to go and live in another country, being comfortable enough where they are! I`m probably going to have to formulate some non offensive reply to anyone who thinks we`re mad to return without ever having given up their "comfort zone" themselves, although I do realise we`ve been lucky to have had this opportunity to find out what it`s like to live in another country.
Dont take it personally. Brits seem to be conditioned to do down their own country!

jemima55 Apr 8th 2012 3:17 pm

Re: Curse of the Expat
 
Should point out I`m in the USA but still anticipate the stuff you`re talking about when I return!

isleofmanmike Apr 9th 2012 7:16 am

Re: Curse of the Expat
 

Originally Posted by bigals (Post 9994133)
I came here with $350k I am now seriously in debt,no work it sucks so I am going back to the UK where I have a job waiting.
I have some Brit friends here who are on the bones of their ass,he was earning 40 thousand pounds in the Uk here he gets $22k they have no money to go out or do anything and cry to me daily but still tell everyone at home it is sooooooo good here ,I think loads of expats up sell their move to prove they did the right thing!!!!:thumbdown:

How terrible....all that money gone....how long have you been in AUS for?

isleofmanmike Apr 9th 2012 7:21 am

Re: Curse of the Expat
 

Originally Posted by MissBetty (Post 9994721)
I'm prepared for this, saw my parents go through it with friends and family when they returned to the UK from Oz in the 80's! Going somewhere on holiday is so different from actually living there and people just don't understand unless you have been through it like so many people on this forum. I think a lot of people who immigrate, myself included, go through stages as follows!

1. Hate UK want to leave.
2. Want to live in Oz and prepared to immigrate.
3. All excited, can't wait to start new life!
4. Euphoria, love the sunshine/beaches - this is the life!
5. Reality sets in, still have to work but life is good.
6. First holiday back to UK ,all is great, nice to see everyone but missing Oz.
7. Few years in, start to get fed up, missing family, don't belong.
8. Second holiday back to UK, this time don't want to leave :(
9. In turmoil, should I stay or go? Weigh up pros/cons - torture!
10. Find British Expats - phew! I'm not alone or going mad!!!!
11. Make decision to leave.
12. Realise the UK is actually a great place to live after all - hurrah!

I'm not dissing Australia, I have had a great time here, its a beautiful country but the UK has so much to offer as well, I had to go away to realise just what I did have - right under my nose! People get stuck in a rut and think all their problems would disappear if they moved to another country but life just isn't that simple! I'm at stage 11 atm, 6 months and I'll be home :thumbsup:

Great post...Hope it works out for you.....Where about in the UK are you moving too...

MissBetty Apr 9th 2012 7:48 am

Re: Curse of the Expat
 

Originally Posted by isleofmanmike (Post 9995748)
Great post...Hope it works out for you.....Where about in the UK are you moving too...

Thank you lol! Well firstly I'll be moving back to the South Coast where my parents live as it will just be easier for me as I took a career break from my job. I really fancy a move up North though I must admit just not sure where atm. I'm a paramedic and I see Yorkshire are recruiting as are North West Ambulance Service. I really like Leeds, Manchester and Wigan so somewhere around there would be great but I'll have to do my research first, houses are sooooo cheap up there and I love how friendly Northerners are in general. I might start a thread on here just before I come back to ask for a bit of advice but I'd be happy to see if I can get a job up North first and rent for a while. I realise I'd not be round the corner from the family but its only a 5 hour drive and I could travel down on week days due to being a shift worker and avoid heavy traffic. After working in the Outback, driving 7 hours to go to the movies and go shopping 5 hours is nothing ha ha!!! :thumbsup:


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