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Schools, teachers, kids and parents. Education in general.

Schools, teachers, kids and parents. Education in general.

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Old Dec 8th 2009, 4:27 pm
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You're right. However I expected my sn to have reacted quite differently, i.e. saying he didnt want to go, etc. However, he hasnt. Hes been more than willing to cooperate and tries so hard to learn the language.
Nevertheless I am to blame , because in my ignorance and probably arrogance, I expected him to have had as much support and reassurance here as he would have back home!

I hold my hands up! I am the guilty part!
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Old Dec 8th 2009, 4:44 pm
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Default Re: Schools, teachers, kids and parents. Education in general.

Ruth - sending a child to a psychologist is alien to me too, because they don't do that in the UK unless they want a child statemented. Here it is just another form of support, not a failure on your part. Also most sessions are free or cost next to nothing, or are here in Florence according to a friend that is now taking her son to one. Also, it can take a while here to take the decision to go and see one - my friend has been having difficulties with her adopted son for many years, he is 12, and only started down this path at the beginning of last year. Parents don't take the step lightly. For Indie it looks like a good way forward if you have read all her posts, and again her son has been at school here nearly 3 years and they are only just taking this step, so it isn't a case of child being different one day, off to the psychologist the next.

Finally, my eldest sister was sent to see the educational psychologist - she's nearly 67! She was extremely shy and withdrawn as a child, can't say it helped her, but it doesn't help that we don't speak!! Anyway, this was in the UK and it wasn't to get her extra help, like it is now, it was to try and treat her shyness, so it does happen. If a child isn't making friends because they can't socialise then I think it is a good approach. I regarded myself as shy as a child but my sister still would be even now! How much it helped her, I can't say, but at least that help was there.
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Old Dec 8th 2009, 5:30 pm
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Default Re: Schools, teachers, kids and parents. Education in general.

Originally Posted by Ruth2003 View Post
You're right. However I expected my sn to have reacted quite differently, i.e. saying he didnt want to go, etc. However, he hasnt. Hes been more than willing to cooperate and tries so hard to learn the language.
Nevertheless I am to blame , because in my ignorance and probably arrogance, I expected him to have had as much support and reassurance here as he would have back home!

I hold my hands up! I am the guilty part!
Ruth, me too!! I find it the hardest part. The fact that he seemingly goes in every day. I actually feel that I missed something with the lingo along the lines somewhere and the italian teachers did too. It is a cultural thing I think....
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Old Dec 9th 2009, 3:00 pm
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Default Re: Schools, teachers, kids and parents. Education in general.

Originally Posted by Ruth2003 View Post
You're right. However I expected my sn to have reacted quite differently, i.e. saying he didnt want to go, etc. However, he hasnt. Hes been more than willing to cooperate and tries so hard to learn the language.
Nevertheless I am to blame , because in my ignorance and probably arrogance, I expected him to have had as much support and reassurance here as he would have back home!

I hold my hands up! I am the guilty part!
I don't think you are either ignorant or arrogant. Naive maybe, but weren't most of us when we first arrived. BTW any type of counsellor here is usually a pyschologist (or a priest) and not just a counsellor trained in marriage guidance, drug abuse etc.
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Old Dec 9th 2009, 3:29 pm
  #245  
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Default Re: Schools, teachers, kids and parents. Education in general.

Ruth, I often think I am ignorant AND arrogant and I know that I have certain friends who think so too but I do think we were naive to say the very least. Doesn't mean it can't be a goer though if you can get some support for him. I strongly felt for the first year or so that the situation just needed time.... however the trouble with time is that bad habits on everyone's part become ingrained, which is what has happened in our case I think. Will update you all with how things go with the psychologist after tomorrow.
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Old Dec 11th 2009, 12:48 pm
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Default Re: Schools, teachers, kids and parents. Education in general.

Well, I trundled off to see the Psychologist yesterday afternoon. She seemed very nice and she asked me all about the sort of problems we were experiencing with Harrison. I told that there were big problems in the class with him and the teacher and his not always telling the truth etc. She then asked about my other child and it seems that she met Julia a couple of years ago when she went to the Asilo to talk to the teachers about another child. She complimented me on producing such a lovely little girl She gave me a bit of advice for my son. The biggest thing that she felt was important was for him to spend time with his dad on a one to one basis so there is some 'space' for him to discuss with a male role model and mentor the changes that he will be facing in the near future.' She said it was very interesting that he preferred the company of women and girls but must admit that I have no idea why. She then said that she really would like to speak to his teachers as she was interested in the fact that he doesn't get away with the sort of disrespect that he shows them at home. She then asked which teachers he had... when I told her she said: 'Quinta B???' 'Yes' I replied. 'Oh that was a very unfortunate choice for a child coming in from outslde.' I asked her why and she said that there are many problems with other children in that class in the first place. There are also a number of children that the teachers can't communicate with, and a number of parents who the teachers can't communicate with or who refuse to communicate with the teachers. She also told me she is already dealing with a number of cases from the same class now. I was left feeling a bit deflated to be honest but it does make me realise it's not just us or me either which was good in a way I suppose. However, more bad notes in the diary as it seems that Harrison didn't do some homework he was supposed to again and I need to control this.... difficult to control when he doesn't bring the books home from school for the homework though!! :curse:

I have an appointment again with her at the end of January to see how things are progressing from my point of view, but it seems a bit odd to not want to see the child... a bit like parenting classes rather than psychological help to be honest. But hey, it makes it clearer that we do have his best interests at heart and we are not going to let things plod on that need to change.
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Old Dec 11th 2009, 1:00 pm
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Default Re: Schools, teachers, kids and parents. Education in general.

Wow Indiebird! At least you know that the problems go way beyond just your boy's apparent behaviour and that the teachers may need a bit of help themselves, namely some sessions on how to communicate with children and adults.

I do hope the sessions help, at least to feel a bit more relaxed and at ease with the situation. Again got my fingers and toes crossed for ya!
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Old Dec 11th 2009, 3:05 pm
  #248  
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Originally Posted by TestaRossa View Post
Ruth - sending a child to a psychologist is alien to me too, because they don't do that in the UK unless they want a child statemented. Here it is just another form of support, not a failure on your part. Also most sessions are free or cost next to nothing, or are here in Florence according to a friend that is now taking her son to one. Also, it can take a while here to take the decision to go and see one - my friend has been having difficulties with her adopted son for many years, he is 12, and only started down this path at the beginning of last year. Parents don't take the step lightly. For Indie it looks like a good way forward if you have read all her posts, and again her son has been at school here nearly 3 years and they are only just taking this step, so it isn't a case of child being different one day, off to the psychologist the next.

Finally, my eldest sister was sent to see the educational psychologist - she's nearly 67! She was extremely shy and withdrawn as a child, can't say it helped her, but it doesn't help that we don't speak!! Anyway, this was in the UK and it wasn't to get her extra help, like it is now, it was to try and treat her shyness, so it does happen. If a child isn't making friends because they can't socialise then I think it is a good approach. I regarded myself as shy as a child but my sister still would be even now! How much it helped her, I can't say, but at least that help was there.
How is going to see an educational psychologist at 67 going to help your sister?
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Old Dec 11th 2009, 3:42 pm
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Originally Posted by duffer View Post
How is going to see an educational psychologist at 67 going to help your sister?

Fair point....just for once....

What I should have said was she went when she was about 11 or 12 so hundred's of years ago they were using ed. psychs in schools in case anyone thought it was a new thing....
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Old Dec 11th 2009, 7:13 pm
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Originally Posted by indiebird View Post
Well, I trundled off to see the Psychologist yesterday afternoon. She seemed very nice and she asked me all about the sort of problems we were experiencing with Harrison. I told that there were big problems in the class with him and the teacher and his not always telling the truth etc. She then asked about my other child and it seems that she met Julia a couple of years ago when she went to the Asilo to talk to the teachers about another child. She complimented me on producing such a lovely little girl She gave me a bit of advice for my son. The biggest thing that she felt was important was for him to spend time with his dad on a one to one basis so there is some 'space' for him to discuss with a male role model and mentor the changes that he will be facing in the near future.' She said it was very interesting that he preferred the company of women and girls but must admit that I have no idea why. She then said that she really would like to speak to his teachers as she was interested in the fact that he doesn't get away with the sort of disrespect that he shows them at home. She then asked which teachers he had... when I told her she said: 'Quinta B???' 'Yes' I replied. 'Oh that was a very unfortunate choice for a child coming in from outslde.' I asked her why and she said that there are many problems with other children in that class in the first place. There are also a number of children that the teachers can't communicate with, and a number of parents who the teachers can't communicate with or who refuse to communicate with the teachers. She also told me she is already dealing with a number of cases from the same class now. I was left feeling a bit deflated to be honest but it does make me realise it's not just us or me either which was good in a way I suppose. However, more bad notes in the diary as it seems that Harrison didn't do some homework he was supposed to again and I need to control this.... difficult to control when he doesn't bring the books home from school for the homework though!! :curse:

I have an appointment again with her at the end of January to see how things are progressing from my point of view, but it seems a bit odd to not want to see the child... a bit like parenting classes rather than psychological help to be honest. But hey, it makes it clearer that we do have his best interests at heart and we are not going to let things plod on that need to change.
Well done Indie - at least you know now that it isnt all Harrison and that there seems to be a general problem with that class. Maybe some of the problems actually stem from the teacher ? Anyway she gave you a few pointers and maybe some of this will help. Now just try and enjoy the Xmas period and try not to worry (easier said than done I know) Maybe at the next appointment you could politely suggest that she meets your son too - or maybe that HE would like to meet her ? It is a bit odd that she hasnt met him.
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Old Dec 11th 2009, 7:18 pm
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Default Re: Schools, teachers, kids and parents. Education in general.

Originally Posted by Ruth2003 View Post
Wow Indiebird! At least you know that the problems go way beyond just your boy's apparent behaviour and that the teachers may need a bit of help themselves, namely some sessions on how to communicate with children and adults.

I do hope the sessions help, at least to feel a bit more relaxed and at ease with the situation. Again got my fingers and toes crossed for ya!
Ahhh alas, I don't think the advice stretches to the teachers Ruth... they are the experts after all!! *cough*

How are things with you and your boy at the moment?
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Old Dec 11th 2009, 7:22 pm
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Originally Posted by Patty View Post
Well done Indie - at least you know now that it isnt all Harrison and that there seems to be a general problem with that class. Maybe some of the problems actually stem from the teacher ? Anyway she gave you a few pointers and maybe some of this will help. Now just try and enjoy the Xmas period and try not to worry (easier said than done I know) Maybe at the next appointment you could politely suggest that she meets your son too - or maybe that HE would like to meet her ? It is a bit odd that she hasnt met him.
I do feel a bit better tbh and do intend to enjoy xmas now Patty.... after he finally gets his finger out and gets all this darn outstanding homework done (again) and then the castigo for not doing it in the first place.... you'd think even he would learn that he might as well just do it in the first place....
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Old Dec 11th 2009, 7:28 pm
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If it makes you feel better Indie my 19 yr old still hasnt learnt this lesson - I get so mad with him - but he just doesnt seem to understand this basic rule. So dont worry - I'm sure with your son if you nip it in the bud now it will get better
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Old Dec 11th 2009, 7:32 pm
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Originally Posted by Patty View Post
If it makes you feel better Indie my 19 yr old still hasnt learnt this lesson - I get so mad with him - but he just doesnt seem to understand this basic rule. So dont worry - I'm sure with your son if you nip it in the bud now it will get better
oh no... and 37100 was telling me their brains shrink too and they do loads of stupid things that make no sense.... I am looking at a book on Amazon called 'Raising Boys' .... I need to buy it by the sounds of it!!!!
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Old Dec 12th 2009, 9:36 am
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Default Re: Schools, teachers, kids and parents. Education in general.

Originally Posted by Patty View Post
Well done Indie - at least you know now that it isnt all Harrison and that there seems to be a general problem with that class. Maybe some of the problems actually stem from the teacher ? Anyway she gave you a few pointers and maybe some of this will help. Now just try and enjoy the Xmas period and try not to worry (easier said than done I know) Maybe at the next appointment you could politely suggest that she meets your son too - or maybe that HE would like to meet her ? It is a bit odd that she hasnt met him.
No, this is normal. They saw my friend and her husband on their own for the first few sessions. As much as anything they need the parents background on what is going on before they see the kid and get their version. This way the psych can pick out the truth from the nonsense where the kid is concerned or be able to seriously question what is going on if the parents and child have too different a story! But they do it over several sessions so they have a full picture. Also they are telling the parents what they need to start implementing at home before the kid gets seen so that some groundwork is already being done before involving the child. This way when the child goes to see the psych there is hopefully a more structured atmosphere or whatever is needed and the child is more open to the help the psych will give them. Does this make sense??

Originally Posted by indiebird View Post
oh no... and 37100 was telling me their brains shrink too and they do loads of stupid things that make no sense.... I am looking at a book on Amazon called 'Raising Boys' .... I need to buy it by the sounds of it!!!!
Don't bother - it only tells you what you already know, i.e. needs a father figure, secure environment, loads of encouragement etc......Lol!
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