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my 15 year old daughter, can't speak Italian, will she cope?

my 15 year old daughter, can't speak Italian, will she cope?

Old Sep 15th 2012, 7:42 am
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Default my 15 year old daughter, can't speak Italian, will she cope?

Hello all.
My 15 year old Daughter will be coming to live in Italy with us next year when we all move there. now she is Italian by birth, she can't speak a lick of Italian.
I want to put her into Italian school because I am looking at the big picture.
we will be living in Italy for 5+ years. so that will get her through high school and then into University. so I believe it will give her some sense of Italian childhood, and hopefully make her fluent by the time she leaves.
how well are Italian schools prepared for foreign children coming to learn Italian?
are children put into second language classes at the school all day? part time?
part of the year? do they also go into normal class? even though she can't understand the language. how would this work?
so from experience can someone tell me what will happen her first year at school.
thank you..
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Old Sep 16th 2012, 6:39 am
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Default Re: my 15 year old daughter, can't speak Italian, will she cope?

it depends where you are in Italy. There may be no support system at all.
It is one thing bringing a 6 or 7 year old over and quite another with a teenager. You have a year before she comes to Italy. Do something now.
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Old Sep 16th 2012, 7:15 am
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Default Re: my 15 year old daughter, can't speak Italian, will she cope?

Originally Posted by Juvefan
Hello all.
My 15 year old Daughter will be coming to live in Italy with us next year when we all move there. now she is Italian by birth, she can't speak a lick of Italian.
I want to put her into Italian school because I am looking at the big picture.
we will be living in Italy for 5+ years. so that will get her through high school and then into University. so I believe it will give her some sense of Italian childhood, and hopefully make her fluent by the time she leaves.
how well are Italian schools prepared for foreign children coming to learn Italian?
are children put into second language classes at the school all day? part time?
part of the year? do they also go into normal class? even though she can't understand the language. how would this work?
so from experience can someone tell me what will happen her first year at school.
thank you..
Do you speak Italian? Or anyone around her? Too late for classes, she needs exposure, ASAP.
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Old Sep 16th 2012, 7:16 am
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Default Re: my 15 year old daughter, can't speak Italian, will she cope?

Originally Posted by modicasa
it depends where you are in Italy. There may be no support system at all.
It is one thing bringing a 6 or 7 year old over and quite another with a teenager. You have a year before she comes to Italy. Do something now.
support system? what do you mean?

we have family there. my family are all there,

sure we can start her on language lessons, but I am more concerned about the school life in general. will she be isolated, maybe teased, lack of education because she can't understand the materials, no second language classes,
she is half Italian by blood the other half is Asian, she is very pretty so that should work in her favor with the boys I guess LOL.
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Old Sep 16th 2012, 7:18 am
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Default Re: my 15 year old daughter, can't speak Italian, will she cope?

Originally Posted by RICH
Do you speak Italian? Or anyone around her? Too late for classes, she needs exposure, ASAP.
unfortunately I am working in Asia on business, and my daughter is staying with my mother in NZ, so she is going to school there. I will be moving back to Italy next year and will be sending for her then. so no, she can't really get exposed now to Italian, so it will be thrown into the deep end once she gets to Italy.
I am looking at the long term, the big picture, 5 years down the road.
I hope she is fluent and enjoying an Italian lifestyle and entering her Adult life as an Italian speaker and improving daily.
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Old Sep 16th 2012, 7:27 am
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Default Re: my 15 year old daughter, can't speak Italian, will she cope?

There must be an ITalian teacher in NZ.
Putting a 15 year old girl into a liceo with no Italian and expecting her to keep up with the diploma syllabus is a nonsense. She will lose at least 2 years while getting her Italian good enough, pass maturity at 20 instead of 18, be stuck in classes with kids younger than her. I think you should let her finish her schooling and then think about moving her. 15 is an age where teens are very vulnerable. To change a life completely at that age could cause huge problems.
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Old Sep 16th 2012, 7:35 am
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Default Re: my 15 year old daughter, can't speak Italian, will she cope?

Originally Posted by modicasa
There must be an ITalian teacher in NZ.
Putting a 15 year old girl into a liceo with no Italian and expecting her to keep up with the diploma syllabus is a nonsense. She will lose at least 2 years while getting her Italian good enough, pass maturity at 20 instead of 18, be stuck in classes with kids younger than her. I think you should let her finish her schooling and then think about moving her. 15 is an age where teens are very vulnerable. To change a life completely at that age could cause huge problems.
emmmmm.. yes, I understand what you mean.

but plenty of children all over the world move to foreign countries at this age and get put into schools with native children. sure they will struggle at first.
but kids are quick to pick up languages because they are forced too, I am not expecting my daughter after 1 year to be like a native child.
but I will put her one year back, and then after 2 years she should be pretty fluent in the language, then two more years before she graduates hopefully now she is almost fluent. then we can prepare her for university or another 1 year of intense language classes at a language school. but like I said, I am looking at the broad picture, when she is 20 years old, 22 years old, living independently in Italy. not bringing her over at 19 to try and integrate then.
also, that will mean the next 4 years we have to live without my daughter?
naaaaaa, not doing that.
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Old Sep 16th 2012, 7:47 am
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Default Re: my 15 year old daughter, can't speak Italian, will she cope?

I agree with modicasa. Since you have a year to go before the child comes to Italy, you must get her to start learning some basic Italian like yesterday. Enrol her in night school, enrol her in an online language course, buy her a Linguaphone or similar course, but do something.
The Italian education system, if you are not familiar with it, is totally different to anything you can imagine coming from a Northern European or Anglo Saxon educational system.
That is what modicasa meant by no support system. Yes, lots of kids; children of Eastern European or African immigrants; get thrown in at the deep end, but they struggle, and no one cares.
She will cope no doubt, but she will be vulnerable, and she will struggle.
good luck,
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Old Sep 16th 2012, 11:19 am
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Default Re: my 15 year old daughter, can't speak Italian, will she cope?

ohh yes, I understand, of course I will get her studying as much as she can.
I was also hoping to hear from some people who have taken their children to Italy and put them into schools here without knowing the language and how they coped. I did hear that many schools are set up for foreign children, they offer second language classes like our ESL programs, and help them get ready.
I am also wondering how the kids felt emotionally? did your kids settle in, or were they ostracized from the other kids because they couldn't communicate or being foreign, I guess it really depends some kids might know some English so they might talk to her, and of course the faster my daughter can communicate the better for her. my daughter is an out going person. anyway I am going to give it a try, 6 months and we will see how she copes, if she doesn't cope then I can always send her back to NZ..
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Old Sep 16th 2012, 2:46 pm
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Default Re: my 15 year old daughter, can't speak Italian, will she cope?

With all due respect, spend six months trial in Italy yourself to see if it's suitable for your family, then ask your daughter if she'll consider being an outsider while she learns the lingo.
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Old Sep 16th 2012, 6:57 pm
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Default Re: my 15 year old daughter, can't speak Italian, will she cope?

Originally Posted by modicasa
There must be an ITalian teacher in NZ.
Putting a 15 year old girl into a liceo with no Italian and expecting her to keep up with the diploma syllabus is a nonsense. She will lose at least 2 years while getting her Italian good enough, pass maturity at 20 instead of 18, be stuck in classes with kids younger than her. I think you should let her finish her schooling and then think about moving her. 15 is an age where teens are very vulnerable. To change a life completely at that age could cause huge problems.
100 pct right here , the language is the first problem , then you face an entirely different school system , a different social set up ....... In the next year she needs to learn as much Italian as much as possible
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Old Sep 16th 2012, 7:15 pm
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Default Re: my 15 year old daughter, can't speak Italian, will she cope?

Why not the International School where she should not have the language difficulty?

Moving her for 6 months at 15/16 strikes me as the wrong time to have that sort of disruption.
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Old Sep 16th 2012, 7:37 pm
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Default Re: my 15 year old daughter, can't speak Italian, will she cope?

Originally Posted by PAT M
With all due respect, spend six months trial in Italy yourself to see if it's suitable for your family, then ask your daughter if she'll consider being an outsider while she learns the lingo.
Hi, butting in from the France forum, what does your daughter think about this potential dramatic upheaval in her life? Is she as enthusiastic as you are? in which case she'll have immersed herself in everything Italian already, without hesitation, and will make it work. If not, and you have your way, you are going to have extra problems in addition to the usual ones all parents of adolescents encounter....
I realise that this isn't what you want to hear, but the language/culture shock at that sensitive age is too great. Not to mention the emotional period when you'll be getting used to living with each other again. You don't say how long she has been living in NZ, (a minor detail, but what does her grandmother think of your plan?), where she has lived before, what "all my family there" consists of, nor whether you or your family speak Italian.
This is a universal problem which is why I've taken the liberty of writing as though you were planning to come to France. Many parents moving to France with adolescents put them in International Schools and this may be a solution for your daughter. She'd finish her secondary schooling while learning Italian on the spot and will decide herself whether and where she'll continue studying....
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Old Sep 16th 2012, 7:57 pm
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Default Re: my 15 year old daughter, can't speak Italian, will she cope?

I changed school when I was 16, we didn't move house never mind country, yet I still had a settling in period.

My eldest is ten and we are making plans now that will see her and her siblings through school.

I am sure that you want someone here to say that everything will be okay but I don't think that you will find that person on this forum. You said that all your family are in Italy yet your mother is in New Zealand, will she be moving with you?

If you are set on coming to Italy then you really should be looking at the International School route. This way your daughter is more likely to meet other children who will have also travelled because of their parents' work and will understand what she is experiencing.

Last edited by LivingHere; Sep 16th 2012 at 9:13 pm.
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Old Sep 16th 2012, 8:40 pm
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Default Re: my 15 year old daughter, can't speak Italian, will she cope?

Originally Posted by Juvefan
Hello all.
My 15 year old Daughter will be coming to live in Italy with us next year when we all move there. now she is Italian by birth, she can't speak a lick of Italian.
I want to put her into Italian school because I am looking at the big picture.
we will be living in Italy for 5+ years. so that will get her through high school and then into University. so I believe it will give her some sense of Italian childhood, and hopefully make her fluent by the time she leaves.
how well are Italian schools prepared for foreign children coming to learn Italian?
are children put into second language classes at the school all day? part time?
part of the year? do they also go into normal class? even though she can't understand the language. how would this work?
so from experience can someone tell me what will happen her first year at school.
thank you..
My experience of Italy is that very little support is given to foreign children unless they are able to go to an international school. I've seen children at age 7 in an Italian private school environment who were ostracised from the other children in the class - no additional language support is given and they are just expected to get on with it.

I witnessed a 7 year old dealing with these issues and it was a very uncomfortable experience, I can only imagine the problems for a 15 year old who is used to a totally different culture, has her own friends and has nothing in common with the children at school, be that background, language or culture. My own personal experience of Italy, albeit in the north, is very negative towards foreigners of any nationality and it would make zero difference even if I'd got family here.

I appreciate you say you are looking at the "big picture" but I, personally, given what I know, would be very reluctant to move my son here at such a sensitive age. Also, even sensing your positive outlook for the future, I would be even more cautious moving to Italy in the current economic climate. It may be that financially you are in a very advantageous position, in which case, international school would have to be the answer. Personally, I would let your daughter finish school in NZ and then she stands more of a chance at an international university in or outside Italy, with a chance to learn the language in her own time rather than as a necessity to finish high school.

Italy, in principle, is not necessarily the only problem here, although you face additional challenges. Perhaps like some of the other people posting on here I speak as a parent, and for me I would have to make personal sacrifices for the sake of my son.
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