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Moving to La Marche or Umbria with my 14 year old daughter

Moving to La Marche or Umbria with my 14 year old daughter

Old Jan 18th 2018, 3:49 pm
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Default Re: Moving to La Marche or Umbria with my 14 year old daughter

Originally Posted by mebuddhaful
Hello,

I'm new to this site and so pleased to have found it.

I am planning on moving to Umbria or La Marche in August of this year.
My partner is Italian and will be working in these regions.
I will be moving with my 14-year-old daughter who is adamant she doesn't want to come, but I know it's the right choice to make for us as a family.
We both speak no Italian.
My questions are:

1, Has anyone done this with just one child of the same or similar age?
2, Is it possible to put her into an Italian Secondary School speaking no Italian
and how hard will it be for her to adapt?
3, Also can anyone recommend a good High School and which Town in Umbria or La Marche would you recommend? Although I'm aware it will mostly depend on which school I finally put her into

I've read a lot about Vocational Schools does anyone have any experience of these? My daughter is a very talented artist, is there any Art Vocational Secondary Schools?

Sorry for all the questions but its such a minefield and I'm feeling so nervous about the move, mostly for my daughter. I'm terrified she will hate it and hate me forever.
Hi, just popped in from the French forum, and read your post with considerable interest.
Reflecting on some of your comments:

"I understand that moving her to another country could be catastrophic but it also could be the best opportunity for her."
At your daughter's very difficult age, your own word catastrophic should be taken very seriously. Imho it will certainly not be the best opportunity for her. On the continent with education in general, as already noted the emphasis is on theory rather than practical work, and having to learn the history of Art, Geography, Philosophy, Chemistry & Physics all in Italian will be an absolute killer. Not to mention perfect Italian grammar!

"At least in Italy, she would have another language and a much healthier lifestyle and once she has completed school in Italy she can always return here and go to university".
Having a much healthier lifestyle is extremely debatable (see comments below). Being thrown into the deepest of the deep end, yes she will certainly pick up the language rapidly - especially with help from your partner if you make a point of speaking in Italian together at home. However satisfactorily completing high school there under the circumstances given, is almost doomed to failure for the reasons stated above. And in that case how will she be able to return to UK for university studies?

Moving abroad with a young teenager, even with no language problems, is often a huge gamble. One aspect which is rarely considered is the psychological disorders that can be encountered, and these can manifest themselves in many ways - and I'm speaking here from experience seen with co-workers and their families. My own job necessitated many changes of country, and with a young child generally the problems are non existant or very minor. When they get older and have already established a close network of friends, having to leave that environment - especially under duress - can cause irreversable damage. Forewarned is forearmed.

"Its such a minefield and I'm feeling so nervous about the move, mostly for my daughter. I'm terrified she will hate it and hate me forever."
A potentialy lethal minefield indeed, and rightly so you being nervous about the move. And to prevent that last comment coming back to bite you in the bum, in your shoes I would seriously consider leaving your daughter back in UK with family or friends. No doubt it would take some serious planning, but as Delboy Trotter would say, "You know it makes sense!"

I believe Lorna, Donna Noble and others have also admirably summed things up.

Last edited by Tweedpipe; Jan 18th 2018 at 3:52 pm.
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Old Jan 19th 2018, 11:38 am
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Default Re: Moving to La Marche or Umbria with my 14 year old daughter

Originally Posted by 37100
Some thing else about schools here; teachers. There are some brilliant ones, but there are also some truely awful ones. They are virtually unsackable. They are always right even when totally wrong. It's no good complaining about an incompetent teacher because they will not be removed . They are glued to the chair. Kids soon learn to just get on with things and studying on their own rather than risk a revengeful teacher lowering their grades.
Do you remember Alex's silly cow of an English teacher at middle school who started a fight with me because Alex had written: on the 15th of August and she insisted that he must write, 'on August 15th' ? This is the same teacher who told him he wasn't allowed to say 'small' when he wrote a passage about himself and started with: My name is Alex. I am 13 years old. I have blond hair, green eyes and I'm quite small. She said he had to say that he was 'short'.
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Old Jan 19th 2018, 11:44 am
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Default Re: Moving to La Marche or Umbria with my 14 year old daughter

Originally Posted by Plan B
A well deserved 10 to Lorna for a excellent description of schooling in Italy; for highlighting the few pluses and many pitfalls that foreign children and parents need to be aware of.
Thanks, to you and all the others that have contributed. It's not always nice to come across as being negative and my post seemed to take forever to write ........... but it and the others will stay here now for anybody else that has questions about how schools work here.
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Old Jan 19th 2018, 1:11 pm
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Default Re: Moving to La Marche or Umbria with my 14 year old daughter

It is/was a great post and I'm sure many here realise just how much time and effort such a post would take. Superb for a bad ass non-sprout eater!
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Old Jan 20th 2018, 12:38 am
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Default Re: Moving to La Marche or Umbria with my 14 year old daughter

I showed Lorna's post to my Italian wife, who went through the Italian school system in Northern Italy about 15 years ago. She said it was "absolutely, absolutely correct."

Lorna, can I suggest putting your post through an edit, perhaps brushing up the tone a bit, adding a bit more information and then submitting it to the mods as a potential sticky - "Guide to the Italian School System for Brits?"
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Old Jan 20th 2018, 6:50 am
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Default Re: Moving to La Marche or Umbria with my 14 year old daughter

A thing that surprises me is how well behaved Italian children are in public given the education system. Umbrian children are not abusive to adults in the street and they don't do much vandalism. As the OP notes there is a policeman outside of her daughters school to stop them annoying the residents.
If the UK could put a stop to vandalism it would save as much money as Boris's Brexit.
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Old Jan 20th 2018, 7:12 am
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Default Re: Moving to La Marche or Umbria with my 14 year old daughter

Originally Posted by Lorna at Vicenza
Thanks, to you and all the others that have contributed. It's not always nice to come across as being negative and my post seemed to take forever to write ........... but it and the others will stay here now for anybody else that has questions about how schools work here.
Brilliant post Lorna. A bit depressing to see nothing has changed since my kids were in the system in the 60's and 70's; and a grandson in Liceo Scientifico now, about same age as Alex.
ciao for now,
'o nonno

Last edited by ononno; Jan 20th 2018 at 7:14 am. Reason: missed a bit
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Old Jan 24th 2018, 1:53 pm
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Default Re: Moving to La Marche or Umbria with my 14 year old daughter

I'm sure that Lorna and others are right to underline the drawbacks and to urge you to think hard and explore all your options. I would just say, however, that I showed the exchange of posts to a friend whose son started a degree course at Florence University last autumn, and she struck a more positive note. She knows a family with three children who moved to Tuscany when the oldest was your daughter's age. None could then speak Italian but all have thrived, and two are now at Pisa University. My friend agrees that school can be tough and that the teachers are not always great. But she believes that the standard of education achieved by children in Italy who work hard is not necessarily lower than that provided in the UK and can be higher.
I'm not myself qualified to adjudicate on all this. But I just wanted to pass on her thoughts to provide a measure of comfort in case you reach the conclusion that a move to Italy is really what you want to do.
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Old Jan 24th 2018, 2:14 pm
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Default Re: Moving to La Marche or Umbria with my 14 year old daughter

They must be very able young people. Pisa is one of the best Universities in Italy and difficult for Italians to get in. Tuscany is probably one of the best managed regions so probably there are more opportunities for young people.
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Old Jan 24th 2018, 5:09 pm
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Default Re: Moving to La Marche or Umbria with my 14 year old daughter

Originally Posted by mebuddhaful
Concierge, I don't understand why you believe my daughter "would be destined to fail".
My first priority is my daughter and her well being is all that matters to me. Currently, we live in London and I work full time, I spend most days working until late and I'm just about able to cover my bills and rent, I don't get home till late so my daughter spends most of her time alone and she is always in her room on her phone watching youtube videos. Its a struggle to afford to pay for extra curriculum lessons, as life in London is expensive and as a single parent even more so. My daughter goes to the local school which at the end of the day has police outside the gates to ensure the kids don't cause a nuisance to the local residents. My daughter always complains she doesn't feel as though she is learning because her teachers are constantly leaving and being replaced with new ones. I have placed her on the waiting list of other schools. I understand that moving her to another country could be catastrophic but it also could be the best opportunity for her. I look around and I see many people in London really struggling to get by and people always complain about the secondary education here, the classes are over full and the teachers are overworked and underpaid. At least in Italy, she would have another language and a much healthier lifestyle and once she has completed school in Italy she can always return here and go to university. Her main reason for not wanting to move is because of her friends not because of school, I'm sure she would easily make new friends and now with social media, she can stay in touch with her friends from London. I believe us staying in London would be more likely of failure then moving to Italy. I really would like to hear from anyone who has done this with one child in a similar age.
As you describe the situation while there will be challenges for your daughter to be sure, and a lot depends on what part of Italy you plan to move to, I actually think it is an excellent idea to have your daughter study there at this age. Sure it will be tough the first year or two learning the language, but she will make friends and most likely you will have more time around her. Learning as second language fluently can only be a benefit, and I suspect she will have a healthier lifestyle let alone diet. I studied two years in Italy many years ago not knowing a word of Italian when I arrived. I would be more concerned where in Italy as some large cities can be just as problematic as London.
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