Lorna at Vicenza

My mother-in-law is great too.

OH is fiercely independent and I am too, but I have no problems about ringing her if I really am stuck with something. She doesn't stick her nose into anything and never just calls round, but she knows that I know that I can count on her.

I know he loves his mum but he's not a chit chat person, hates the phone and I have to tell him to call his mum sometimes if he's just got back from a long work trip. Heck, even when he's away he usually only calls me every third evening.

I don't think my MIL is bothered that her son is with an English girl. Her older boy married a prim and proper Italian who has OCD in my opinion and hardly lets anybody in her house because they will bring in dirt and germs. I know my MIL loves the way my kids are compared to the other grandkid who can never invite friends to her house to play or for supper.
My house is often full of friends and their kids.

My MIL doesn't even care if the house is not all tidy and spotless because she knows that it means we've been out and the kids have been at the park or the pool or with friends rather than hanging around doing eff all just because mummy MUST do the washing, ironing, the kitchen from top to bottom and all the windows too.

She did ask me a few times if the kids needed a scarf or did I want her to buy them some slippers but she stopped saying things like that years ago when she realised they never get sick and we're as tough as old boots.

In some respects she thinks I've been a good thing for her son and she is so very proud of Chloe and Alex and loves the fact that she could take them anywhere and they will be nice, well mannered and well behaved.

She is a 6 year survivor of breast cancer so maybe that helped her to slow down and fuss less about trivial things.

I can't comment on OH's father as he died when OH was a teen, but I think the man that married MIL in 2000 is lovely and we all treat him just the same as MIL and he is Nonno and not just some "step" figure.

My OH eats too much bread and cheese and loves a pint of Guinness with my dad.

Petra R

Engliano, I think the dynamics are very different between a daughter and her parents (especially her father) and a son and his parents (especially his mother) - and that is (from what I have seen, heard, researched, been told) especially true when it comes to Italians, and then again varies regionally (and, of course; individually.)

I am still flying (or being flown, more precisely) very much under the radar as far as "his" family is concerned. His brother is the only one who knows the full story, without his help (and his ability to construct far-fetched but amazingly convincing cover-stories) we would not have been able to bugger off to Italy for two blissful weeks together. His father kind of has an idea from what I can gather, but the women in his family are thus far blissfully unaware that I (still) exist... Long and "complicated" story.