driving in Italy, the definitive guide......
Nov 7th 2007, 5:30 pm
#1
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
Joined: Oct 2007
Location: Pisa
Posts: 63
driving in Italy, the definitive guide......
1. Drive as fast as humanly possible at all times, ignore all speed limits or potential hazards. The throttle is an On/Off switch.
2. Only concentrate on the road ahead to a maximum of 2 meters in front of you, never look any further ahead
3. Yes, it IS a race
4. Stopping at junctions is only for tourists.
5. If you MUST stop, for example, at a red light, move away as quickly as possible. You have on average 0.001 sec from when the lights turn green to pull away before somebody will beep the horn behind you. NOTE: stopping at red lights seems to be entirely optional for cars and not required at all for scooters and bicycles.
6. NEVER queue, nobody else will and you'll just end up never getting anywhere
7. However fast you think you're going, always expect to be overtaken by a scooter ridden by 75 year old lady with 2 grandchildren on the back, with her poodle in the basket on the front and 2 bags of shopping between her legs.
8. Nobody will EVER give way for you, so don't ever expect it
9. Never signal to turn, nobody knows what it means and you'll just confuse everybody
10. Frightening pedestrians, cyclists and scooter riders almost to death IS sport
11. The optimum distance between you and the car in front is 2 to 6 inches, independent of speed at the time. Any more than that and somebody will squeeze into the gap!
12. Fiat Panda's ARE capable of doing 135mph, even with 7 people inside.
13. When confronted with a hazard, such as a queue of traffic or an old person crossing the road, any route that gets you around the obstacle quicker than everyone else is the best (unlike England, here everybody that is just sitting stationary will applaud your tactics). This may include: using the pavement/someone's garden as a bypass, creating a third line of traffic down the centre of the road or driving on the wrong side of the road into the oncoming traffic.
14. No journey is complete without using the horn at least 4 times
15. Gesticulate wildly with both hands at the slightest excuse.
16. For optimum safety it is preferred if you have a cigarette in one hand and a mobile phone in the other whilst attempting any dangerous overtaking maneuvers.
17. Nobody here understands how a roundabout works. The safest bet is to study the road map and mark all roundabouts on it with a highlighter pen, then never go down those roads. If you find that you have inadvertently strayed into the 'roundabout zone', the best way through is to close your eyes, stamp on the throttle and hope for the best. Consider it a bit like driving through a minefield!
18. Parking...there are no rules, except one that states it is absolutely fine to leave your car wherever you like (eg, blocking a junction, in the middle of the road, on a pedestrian crossing) as long as you remember to leave your hazard warning lights on. These 4 flashing orange lights apparently make your car completely impervious to any road laws
19. Even if you had a Ferrari and you were traveling at 300kph on the Autostrada, is still wouldn’t be fast enough for some people. Somebody, probably somebody driving an SUV would be attached to your rear bumber flashing their lights at you to get out of their way!
And finally, the most important....
19. Flashing your lights here does not mean 'GO', it means the opposite, if somebody flashes their lights at you, it does not mean 'Please, after you old boy', it means, 'pull outta and I smasha you into da leedle pieces, you Ingleesh PEEG!'
Other than that, it's pretty straight forward!
2. Only concentrate on the road ahead to a maximum of 2 meters in front of you, never look any further ahead
3. Yes, it IS a race
4. Stopping at junctions is only for tourists.
5. If you MUST stop, for example, at a red light, move away as quickly as possible. You have on average 0.001 sec from when the lights turn green to pull away before somebody will beep the horn behind you. NOTE: stopping at red lights seems to be entirely optional for cars and not required at all for scooters and bicycles.
6. NEVER queue, nobody else will and you'll just end up never getting anywhere
7. However fast you think you're going, always expect to be overtaken by a scooter ridden by 75 year old lady with 2 grandchildren on the back, with her poodle in the basket on the front and 2 bags of shopping between her legs.
8. Nobody will EVER give way for you, so don't ever expect it
9. Never signal to turn, nobody knows what it means and you'll just confuse everybody
10. Frightening pedestrians, cyclists and scooter riders almost to death IS sport
11. The optimum distance between you and the car in front is 2 to 6 inches, independent of speed at the time. Any more than that and somebody will squeeze into the gap!
12. Fiat Panda's ARE capable of doing 135mph, even with 7 people inside.
13. When confronted with a hazard, such as a queue of traffic or an old person crossing the road, any route that gets you around the obstacle quicker than everyone else is the best (unlike England, here everybody that is just sitting stationary will applaud your tactics). This may include: using the pavement/someone's garden as a bypass, creating a third line of traffic down the centre of the road or driving on the wrong side of the road into the oncoming traffic.
14. No journey is complete without using the horn at least 4 times
15. Gesticulate wildly with both hands at the slightest excuse.
16. For optimum safety it is preferred if you have a cigarette in one hand and a mobile phone in the other whilst attempting any dangerous overtaking maneuvers.
17. Nobody here understands how a roundabout works. The safest bet is to study the road map and mark all roundabouts on it with a highlighter pen, then never go down those roads. If you find that you have inadvertently strayed into the 'roundabout zone', the best way through is to close your eyes, stamp on the throttle and hope for the best. Consider it a bit like driving through a minefield!
18. Parking...there are no rules, except one that states it is absolutely fine to leave your car wherever you like (eg, blocking a junction, in the middle of the road, on a pedestrian crossing) as long as you remember to leave your hazard warning lights on. These 4 flashing orange lights apparently make your car completely impervious to any road laws
19. Even if you had a Ferrari and you were traveling at 300kph on the Autostrada, is still wouldn’t be fast enough for some people. Somebody, probably somebody driving an SUV would be attached to your rear bumber flashing their lights at you to get out of their way!
And finally, the most important....
19. Flashing your lights here does not mean 'GO', it means the opposite, if somebody flashes their lights at you, it does not mean 'Please, after you old boy', it means, 'pull outta and I smasha you into da leedle pieces, you Ingleesh PEEG!'
Other than that, it's pretty straight forward!
Nov 7th 2007, 6:02 pm
#2
The Original Red Head!
Joined: May 2007
Location: Firenze, Italia
Posts: 4,981
Re: driving in Italy, the definitive guide......
Having said all that it was sooo much fun calling out the vigili to get all the cars towed that had parked outside my house when the space had been reserved for my removal van! Oh happy day! 
Nov 7th 2007, 6:08 pm
#3
Senior Moment
Joined: Jan 2006
Location: On the edge
Posts: 20,460
Re: driving in Italy, the definitive guide......
So ....... its much like driving in Spain then
Nov 7th 2007, 6:36 pm
#4
The Original Red Head!
Joined: May 2007
Location: Firenze, Italia
Posts: 4,981
Re: driving in Italy, the definitive guide......
Having done both, much, much worse! Give me a Spanish roundabout anyday !
!
Nov 8th 2007, 6:50 am
#6
Forum Regular
Joined: Sep 2006
Location: Vicenza, Italia
Posts: 119
Re: driving in Italy, the definitive guide......
Another great list MattyC - you should start a book! 
I never forget the first time I saw someone here riding a bike down a busy street on a rainy day and holding an umbrella - priceless!
I never forget the first time I saw someone here riding a bike down a busy street on a rainy day and holding an umbrella - priceless!
Nov 8th 2007, 8:20 am
#7
Just Joined
Joined: Oct 2007
Location: Lunigiana
Posts: 1
Re: driving in Italy, the definitive guide......
Hi - I've only just joined the clan, so forgive my initial amateurish addition to this wonderful list of driving do's and don'ts.
21. Never stop for a pedestrian on a zebra crossing. If you do they will look at you very suspiciously and sometimes won't even attempt to cross the road until you wave them on with exaggerated gestures. Although, as I understand it, and was told this many years ago; if you do knock someone down on a zebra crossing they can claim against you big time - if they survive to claim of course!!
21. Never stop for a pedestrian on a zebra crossing. If you do they will look at you very suspiciously and sometimes won't even attempt to cross the road until you wave them on with exaggerated gestures. Although, as I understand it, and was told this many years ago; if you do knock someone down on a zebra crossing they can claim against you big time - if they survive to claim of course!!
Nov 8th 2007, 9:28 am
#8
Pull my finger
Joined: Feb 2007
Location: Vicenza
Posts: 4,064
Re: driving in Italy, the definitive guide......
Hi - I've only just joined the clan, so forgive my initial amateurish addition to this wonderful list of driving do's and don'ts.
21. Never stop for a pedestrian on a zebra crossing. If you do they will look at you very suspiciously and sometimes won't even attempt to cross the road until you wave them on with exaggerated gestures. Although, as I understand it, and was told this many years ago; if you do knock someone down on a zebra crossing they can claim against you big time - if they survive to claim of course!!
21. Never stop for a pedestrian on a zebra crossing. If you do they will look at you very suspiciously and sometimes won't even attempt to cross the road until you wave them on with exaggerated gestures. Although, as I understand it, and was told this many years ago; if you do knock someone down on a zebra crossing they can claim against you big time - if they survive to claim of course!!
23. In car parks, always park right in the middle of 2 spaces. If this is not possible, leave the car diagonally forcing everyone else to do the same.
24. Park the car as close as possible to your destination reducing the distance you need to walk. Be it the school gates, be it the school entrance, the cigarette machine, post office, church or cemetery tombstone.
25. Whilst doing any of the points above make sure you completely disregard the environment and leave the engine running.
Nov 8th 2007, 12:33 pm
#9
The Original Red Head!
Joined: May 2007
Location: Firenze, Italia
Posts: 4,981
Nov 8th 2007, 2:08 pm
#10
Just Joined
Joined: Oct 2007
Location: London & Pescara
Posts: 21
Re: driving in Italy, the definitive guide......
You forgot to add:-
When coming out of a side turning into a main road NEVER stop at the junction but always a few feet out into the road, so everyone (by which I mean tourists) think you're going to drive straight out and not stop, thus causing them to swerve. Very amusing.
By the way the local council around Pescara have, t'would seem, bought a job lot of roundabouts and are sprinkling them everywhere. Italians approaching them seem to have two expressions: utter confusion or complete disregard.
When coming out of a side turning into a main road NEVER stop at the junction but always a few feet out into the road, so everyone (by which I mean tourists) think you're going to drive straight out and not stop, thus causing them to swerve. Very amusing.
By the way the local council around Pescara have, t'would seem, bought a job lot of roundabouts and are sprinkling them everywhere. Italians approaching them seem to have two expressions: utter confusion or complete disregard.
Nov 8th 2007, 4:39 pm
#11
The Original Red Head!
Joined: May 2007
Location: Firenze, Italia
Posts: 4,981
Re: driving in Italy, the definitive guide......
Wait for the traffic cones to appear - maybe Milton Keynes was having a sale!
Nov 8th 2007, 7:04 pm
#12
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
Joined: Oct 2007
Location: Pisa
Posts: 63
Re: driving in Italy, the definitive guide......
I know what you mean about roundabouts springing up everywhere, they put them up over night without any notice, you just go to work one day and there's nothing, the next morning...gridlock. We were in Sicily in spring in a town called Niscemi and we saw them building a small roundabout from steel tubes concreted into a circle, the funny thing was, for two days there was a policeman there instructing the locals on how to use it and big crowds of people standing around like it was a new attraction....I went back in the summer and it was already all smashed up...
Nov 9th 2007, 6:47 pm
#13
Forum Regular
Joined: Jan 2007
Location: UK
Posts: 73
Re: driving in Italy, the definitive guide......
1. Drive as fast as humanly possible at all times, ignore all speed limits or potential hazards. The throttle is an On/Off switch.
2. Only concentrate on the road ahead to a maximum of 2 meters in front of you, never look any further ahead
3. Yes, it IS a race
4. Stopping at junctions is only for tourists.
5. If you MUST stop, for example, at a red light, move away as quickly as possible. You have on average 0.001 sec from when the lights turn green to pull away before somebody will beep the horn behind you. NOTE: stopping at red lights seems to be entirely optional for cars and not required at all for scooters and bicycles.
6. NEVER queue, nobody else will and you'll just end up never getting anywhere
7. However fast you think you're going, always expect to be overtaken by a scooter ridden by 75 year old lady with 2 grandchildren on the back, with her poodle in the basket on the front and 2 bags of shopping between her legs.
8. Nobody will EVER give way for you, so don't ever expect it
9. Never signal to turn, nobody knows what it means and you'll just confuse everybody
10. Frightening pedestrians, cyclists and scooter riders almost to death IS sport
11. The optimum distance between you and the car in front is 2 to 6 inches, independent of speed at the time. Any more than that and somebody will squeeze into the gap!
12. Fiat Panda's ARE capable of doing 135mph, even with 7 people inside.
13. When confronted with a hazard, such as a queue of traffic or an old person crossing the road, any route that gets you around the obstacle quicker than everyone else is the best (unlike England, here everybody that is just sitting stationary will applaud your tactics). This may include: using the pavement/someone's garden as a bypass, creating a third line of traffic down the centre of the road or driving on the wrong side of the road into the oncoming traffic.
14. No journey is complete without using the horn at least 4 times
15. Gesticulate wildly with both hands at the slightest excuse.
16. For optimum safety it is preferred if you have a cigarette in one hand and a mobile phone in the other whilst attempting any dangerous overtaking maneuvers.
17. Nobody here understands how a roundabout works. The safest bet is to study the road map and mark all roundabouts on it with a highlighter pen, then never go down those roads. If you find that you have inadvertently strayed into the 'roundabout zone', the best way through is to close your eyes, stamp on the throttle and hope for the best. Consider it a bit like driving through a minefield!
18. Parking...there are no rules, except one that states it is absolutely fine to leave your car wherever you like (eg, blocking a junction, in the middle of the road, on a pedestrian crossing) as long as you remember to leave your hazard warning lights on. These 4 flashing orange lights apparently make your car completely impervious to any road laws
19. Even if you had a Ferrari and you were traveling at 300kph on the Autostrada, is still wouldn’t be fast enough for some people. Somebody, probably somebody driving an SUV would be attached to your rear bumber flashing their lights at you to get out of their way!
And finally, the most important....
19. Flashing your lights here does not mean 'GO', it means the opposite, if somebody flashes their lights at you, it does not mean 'Please, after you old boy', it means, 'pull outta and I smasha you into da leedle pieces, you Ingleesh PEEG!'
Other than that, it's pretty straight forward!
2. Only concentrate on the road ahead to a maximum of 2 meters in front of you, never look any further ahead
3. Yes, it IS a race
4. Stopping at junctions is only for tourists.
5. If you MUST stop, for example, at a red light, move away as quickly as possible. You have on average 0.001 sec from when the lights turn green to pull away before somebody will beep the horn behind you. NOTE: stopping at red lights seems to be entirely optional for cars and not required at all for scooters and bicycles.
6. NEVER queue, nobody else will and you'll just end up never getting anywhere
7. However fast you think you're going, always expect to be overtaken by a scooter ridden by 75 year old lady with 2 grandchildren on the back, with her poodle in the basket on the front and 2 bags of shopping between her legs.
8. Nobody will EVER give way for you, so don't ever expect it
9. Never signal to turn, nobody knows what it means and you'll just confuse everybody
10. Frightening pedestrians, cyclists and scooter riders almost to death IS sport
11. The optimum distance between you and the car in front is 2 to 6 inches, independent of speed at the time. Any more than that and somebody will squeeze into the gap!
12. Fiat Panda's ARE capable of doing 135mph, even with 7 people inside.
13. When confronted with a hazard, such as a queue of traffic or an old person crossing the road, any route that gets you around the obstacle quicker than everyone else is the best (unlike England, here everybody that is just sitting stationary will applaud your tactics). This may include: using the pavement/someone's garden as a bypass, creating a third line of traffic down the centre of the road or driving on the wrong side of the road into the oncoming traffic.
14. No journey is complete without using the horn at least 4 times
15. Gesticulate wildly with both hands at the slightest excuse.
16. For optimum safety it is preferred if you have a cigarette in one hand and a mobile phone in the other whilst attempting any dangerous overtaking maneuvers.
17. Nobody here understands how a roundabout works. The safest bet is to study the road map and mark all roundabouts on it with a highlighter pen, then never go down those roads. If you find that you have inadvertently strayed into the 'roundabout zone', the best way through is to close your eyes, stamp on the throttle and hope for the best. Consider it a bit like driving through a minefield!
18. Parking...there are no rules, except one that states it is absolutely fine to leave your car wherever you like (eg, blocking a junction, in the middle of the road, on a pedestrian crossing) as long as you remember to leave your hazard warning lights on. These 4 flashing orange lights apparently make your car completely impervious to any road laws
19. Even if you had a Ferrari and you were traveling at 300kph on the Autostrada, is still wouldn’t be fast enough for some people. Somebody, probably somebody driving an SUV would be attached to your rear bumber flashing their lights at you to get out of their way!
And finally, the most important....
19. Flashing your lights here does not mean 'GO', it means the opposite, if somebody flashes their lights at you, it does not mean 'Please, after you old boy', it means, 'pull outta and I smasha you into da leedle pieces, you Ingleesh PEEG!'
Other than that, it's pretty straight forward!
Nov 9th 2007, 8:42 pm
#14
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
Joined: Oct 2007
Location: Pisa
Posts: 63
Re: driving in Italy, the definitive guide......
the crazy thing is, and I'm sure you've all found this too, is that after more than two years out here I've actually started to do some of these things myself! I have to drive back to England at Christmas, I'm going to have to re-boot the old grey cells once I get off the Eurotunnel in Folkestone!
Nov 10th 2007, 7:59 am
#15
Forum Regular
Joined: Apr 2007
Location: Tucked away in the lush green of Kent
Posts: 270
Re: driving in Italy, the definitive guide......
Watch your speed Matty! Two speeding fines and you're banned from driving. Zero tolerance! (Source from Sky news yesterday).
