angeli

Agree with everything TR just said...use the forum, have found everyone helpful when I've had a problem or just wanted to get something off my chest so as to speak. Funny, you saying just wished you had friends closeby to go and have a coffee and a natter with, friend in uk just e-mailed me the same thing, we would meet for coffee and always have a cheese scone....infact that was the only time I ever eat cheese scones..Miss 'special' friends but hopefully will find a few soon.....Take care x

durobird

Yes it is lonely for me here. Thats why I loved having Piccola with me in the house. We only moved here in Sept. I barely speak the language and obviously all my friends are still in London.
I know the neighbours to nod my head at...but thats all. Its a small village and very pretty etc,but not where they are used to foreigners.
Roberto is at work till about 7pm each day,and at weekends he has his teenage son here.
It actually hurt more this weekend when they were both here,as they carried on with life,and basketball and football as if nothing had happened. Whilst my heart was breaking.
Roberto does try and calm me and talk to me and explain it wasnt our fault etc etc and we did all we could for her.
But then I hear the 2 of them laughing at the tv and I just shut myself in the bedroom and cry.
I'm not saying Roberto didnt care...but he's a biologist and has a scientists mentality over death. So life just goes on for him. I feel awful just sitting there crying in front of them both,so I go away and sit alone.
People on here may think I'm nuts for reacting like this to a young cat who's died. But I cant help the way I feel. Thank you all you kind people for listening and being my shoulder.

TestaRossa

Been here over 3 years and not found what I would call a "special" friend - best friend sounds a bit childish, but I suppose that is what I mean! I think they are an elusive beast tbh. I had one where I was living before coming here, but prior to that I hadn't since leaving school. I'm still in touch with my BF from school, but it isn't that kind of relationship anymore. I DO have good friends here, but none I feel I can call yet in an emergency - there are some that tell me to, but I'm not comfortable doing it and I know their lives are such that they couldn't always answer the call anyway!! Anyway, back to the thread - we are here if you need us!

Durobird, in answer to your last post. I think your reaction also has alot to do with your circumstances...I don't know what the answer is as I don't know your village or it's amenities, but it sounds like your OH has an established life there with his work and his son. Teens aren't easy and I can't imagine what your weekends must be like in normal circumstances, hopefully you have fun with your OH's son there - I have a teenage boy and he can be great fun if you know the buttons to press. Sounds like you need to work out what your life should be and go from there...It wasn't his puss, so you can't expect him to react or even understand your pain and his dad has to put him before puss unfortunately - it's the way it goes when you have kids. Believe me if it had been his cat he would've been as upset as you, otherwise what you were seeing is a normal teen - sensitivity doesn't figure too high in their natures unless it directly affects them! Hth...

37100

Durobird, I'm so sorry. I know it's not easy when you lose a cat. I love them, but we don't have one because I don't want to lose another one. A good natter in English really makes the difference sometimes and when you can't do that, things seem even harder. When Indiebird and I manage to get together we walk for miles just jawing about things.

Testarossa's right. Teenagers boys can be wonderful and funny, but they can also be a great pain in the ****!

Stay on here and laugh and cry with us - and groan at duffers comments. Big hugs.

indiebird

Too right!! I know exactly where you're coming from! I have plenty of acquaintances here but no really close friends. Must admit that I've had a bit of a shock and am a little peeved too. One of my dearest friend's husbands had a seizure on tuesday and is now in ICU. I only found out from another friend last night via Facebook. 'Noone thought about telling me' apparently.... but our other good friend who lives in Aus has known for a few days. Sometimes they can be very insensitive. Didn't want to hassle my friend so just sent her a mssg telling her I'm thinking of her. Must be hell though! I would normally see everyone on a daily basis when I was there but being here makes me feel like 'out of sight out of mind.' Makes it all doubly hard doesn't it??!! Then when something goes wrong it all escalates into something huge. My dh couldn't for the life of him understand why I might be upset. He just said 'well not much you could do anyway is there.' Soooo not the point and so ooo not helpful when you are feeling a certain way is it??!!

notathome

So sorry to hear of your loss. I know only too well what it feels like. During our 42 years of marriage, we have had to say goodbye to two dogs. Both were nearly 14 when they died and the pain was terrible. We still could cry when thinking of our last dog. The best thing is to cry, cry and cry. Eventually the pain wears off a bit.
We now have two dogs, both rescues and ex research beagles. They were 6 years old when we took them in and they are now 10. It does help to get another animal, the only trouble is that we know that at some point these will die as well.
All I can suggest is that you let the pain ease a bit and then consider another cat. Or continue feeding those poor strays, who need people like you.

portia

Dear Durobird
How we give our hearts to these dear creatures. What a privelege it is when a cat or dog trusts us to be their friend. And what a price we pay when they die.
However what is the alternative for people like us? I cannot be catless or dogless. Piccolo is not replaceable but in time the pain will subside and you will be able to think of her and smile at the memory. I promise

nolimits

So sorry Durobird, I would be with you in an instance, but I am miles away in the UK. I usually still talk to my cat even tho she has passed on, because I still believe she is around. Sit down and have a cuppa and think about her and she will be with you. I find it a great comfort. X

durobird

Once again my thanks for all the replies. Especially the thoughts of having a cuppa with me if I was closer. I could really do with an English friend here. So I will keep on chatting on here when things get too bad.
On an extreme and weird note.....
Has anybody come across Animal Psychics? I have been put in touch with one. She doesnt charge but would like a small gift such as a t shirt.
She says with photos,she can contact all 3 of my past pets.
What are your opinions on this? Is it all bogus or has anybody tried it?

Lorna at Vicenza

I'm really sorry about you losing Piccola so soon but all this psychic stuff ????
Personally I think it's a load of hogwash but if she doesn't charge at least she isn't scamming people out of their hard earned cash.

TestaRossa

I have to say I think I am with Lorna on this one. Not sure, even if she can contact them, what use it would be. How is it possible that she would be able to understand how they are or what they are thinking - assuming this is the line she takes. If she can talk to and understand a living, breathing cat or dog, then I would be less sceptical, as it is I think she may well believe she can do this, but I also think it would end up doing you more harm than good. Give yourself another couple of weeks - it will, genuinely, get better! I'd be more inclined to try and find an animal shelter you can volunteer at. You obviously have a kind heart and you could probably do a lot of good for these poor animals. Is there no-one in the UK you can call and talk to? It sounds like you are lonely - a feeling I know and appreciate - someone you trust in the UK may be more help than a psychic...

37100

If you believe in these things then you know that Piccola is happily chasing a catnip ball around. You do not need the psychic to tell you that. Hang a catnip ball on a photo of her and smile every time you look at it knowing she is now blissfully happy after all the love you gave her. Then make yourself a cup of tea or pour yourself a glass of wine and have a good cry. When you feel up to it you could offer a few hours help at a local cat sanctuary in Piccola's memory. It helps to keep busy.

nolimits

I think you should do what feels right for you. I feel lost ones human and animals around me from time to time. So I guess I would not need to.
There are some genuine people out there who can offer comfort, this person is obviously not in it for the money, if she or he were charging then I would be very wary. Go with your intuition and if it feels right and brings you comfort then do it.

sabato

I'm so sorry to read about your Piccola. Cats are so special and it hurts big time when they are gone.
I didn't like cats until a ginger cat turned up and wouldn't go away. So decided I wanted to try to like them. I had to ask my husband how do you make friends with a cat - yes, that much I didn't like them!
He was my perfect cat, loved being tickled and curling up on my lap, never scratched or hissed. Although we knew he was the King of the patch!
He would go off the weeks but always returned. But one day he didn't. Some others in the neighbour had been feeding cats and we heard that somebody had posioned them as they were being a pest to them and that included ours!
It upset for months & months.
But I can look back and enjoy the memories of him and have an understanding of this unique animal. So will never regret that time.
(We have another stray called Treacle - who turned up gnarled and weighing 1/2lb. But that's another story)

angeli

Sabato, sorry about 'ginger boy'....... Think this happens often here.....poisoning...not nice. Most of the problem is of course caused by the sheer number of wild / ferral cats here. I live in 'Marche' and heard of free neutering / steralization scheme here...have friend locally with big and growing cat problem and she is looking into....(by the way her husband is italian and had not heard of such a scheme).....maybe other regions do have similar scheme but do not advertise...can get form from vets..... Enjoy 'Treacle', she sounds soooo sweet x