Justme

">
    > Are you likely to be harmed by anything deadly around Melbourne?
    > Cars. 400 or so people a year die on Victorian roads. A death from
    > snake, spider, platypus or octopus is rare and major news.

Something long suspected as hazardous, has been recently confirmed by some
very serious incidents.

Hanging around night clubs, and/or exchanging "pleasantries" with the door
staff, has been shown to be life threatening. Indulge in this at your peril.

JustMe

P.S. Drop Bears too.

Mick

"JustMe" <á@á> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
    > ">
    > > Are you likely to be harmed by anything deadly around Melbourne?
    > >
    > > Cars. 400 or so people a year die on Victorian roads. A death from
    > > snake, spider, platypus or octopus is rare and major news.
    > Something long suspected as hazardous, has been recently confirmed by some
    > very serious incidents.
    > Hanging around night clubs, and/or exchanging "pleasantries" with the door
    > staff, has been shown to be life threatening. Indulge in this at your
peril.
    > JustMe
    > P.S. Drop Bears too.
And don't forget about the roof rats that go thump in the middle of the
night. HUGE BUGGERS!!!!!!!

Graham

"Mick" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
    > "JustMe" <á@á> wrote in message
    > news:[email protected]...
    > >
    > > ">
    > > > Are you likely to be harmed by anything deadly around Melbourne?
    > > >
    > > > Cars. 400 or so people a year die on Victorian roads. A death from
    > > > snake, spider, platypus or octopus is rare and major news.
    > >
    > > Something long suspected as hazardous, has been recently confirmed by
some
    > > very serious incidents.
    > >
    > > Hanging around night clubs, and/or exchanging "pleasantries" with the
door
    > > staff, has been shown to be life threatening. Indulge in this at your
    > peril.
    > >
    > > JustMe
    > >
    > > P.S. Drop Bears too.
    > >
    > And don't forget about the roof rats that go thump in the middle of the
    > night. HUGE BUGGERS!!!!!!!

but whenever I'm attacked by roof rats, I look on the positive side as I
will have to hire a Roof Rat Team to get them out of my flat. I've found
that if I pay the team extra, they give me the rat pelts. I've made a few
jackets so far..very warm

gra

Graham W

Graham wrote:
    > but whenever I'm attacked by roof rats, I look on the positive side as I
    > will have to hire a Roof Rat Team to get them out of my flat.

I keep my own in-house Roof Rat Team.

    > I've found that if I pay the team extra, they give me the rat pelts.

I'm trying to persuade my team NOT to bring me the pelts.





Meow.

Graham

"Graham W" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
    > Graham wrote:
    > > but whenever I'm attacked by roof rats, I look on the positive side as I
    > > will have to hire a Roof Rat Team to get them out of my flat.
    > I keep my own in-house Roof Rat Team.
    > > I've found that if I pay the team extra, they give me the rat pelts.
    > I'm trying to persuade my team NOT to bring me the pelts.

if you dont want them, try selling them on Ebay

gra

    > Meow.

Slimdonnybabe

Michael Hoffman <[email protected]> wrote in message news:<[email protected] .0.13>...
    > [email protected] (slimdonnybabe) wrote in
    > news:[email protected]:
    >
    > > 6. If we want to be near the sea with a big garden and in the
    > > countryside/semi-rural/very green area not far from CBD (1/2hr by
    > > train), which areas should we look?
    >
    > You don't. If you have the money to afford such a place, then you let
    > OTHERS do the looking for you.
    >
    > Serious, I have no idea of your finances, but do you have the slightest
    > idea what such a place would cost you? Not that I think it exists, I would
    > wager. Maybe down the peninsula.
    >
    > If you find an affordable one (for mere mortals), please send me a personal
    > email. We'll move in next door.
    >
    > Mike

Thanks for the answers, we've had some really good laughs from them,
but I've got some more questions:
1. What are 'Drop Bears', I've never heard of them?
2. Are the Tiger Snakes and Black Snakes deadly and how do we
recognise them? I've also heard somewhere that you may get the odd
brown snake.
3. Do the Red Back Spiders really have a red back is that how we
recognise them and the same with White Tail Spiders (I've never seen
spiders with tails!)?
4. Why do you get more snakes near the sea, or is this just a wind up?
5. Are roof rats, ordinary rats that inhabit tops of houses and how do
we keep them away?
6. Why did someone say that the sea was 100km away at Torquay? I
thought the beaches at Brighton/St Kilda/Sandringham were meant to be
OK.
7. Anybody recommend a decent airline to fly out with? We'd like to
put down in Dubai and Singapore. Came with out Emirates last July and
I'd quite like to sit with the rest of my family next time!
8. What's Altona and Sanctuary Lakes like?
9. Someone recommended Geelong, are the properties cheaper here and is
the employment plentiful and are there still plenty of places to get a
nice meal out?
Thanks again in advance.
Kim

Peter Parker

"slimdonnybabe" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...

    > 6. Why did someone say that the sea was 100km away at Torquay? I
    > thought the beaches at Brighton/St Kilda/Sandringham were meant to be
    > OK.

St Kilda is good for the cakeshops and the restaurants. As for the beach,
its fine to look at from the pier, but you'd need to be desperate to use
it - it's probably Melbourne's yukkiest!

The other beaches are OK, but those suburbs are deep in suburbia and very
expensive. You'll need to go much further out to find semi-rural places.

Peter

Graham

    > 2. Are the Tiger Snakes and Black Snakes deadly and how do we
    > recognise them? I've also heard somewhere that you may get the odd
    > brown snake.


I dont know about deadly, but the buggers can kill you....however, I think a
fair estimate would be that 80% of Aussies have never seen a snake in the
wild. The snake would have seen them, but they did not see the snake.

    > 3. Do the Red Back Spiders really have a red back is that how we
    > recognise them and the same with White Tail Spiders (I've never seen
    > spiders with tails!)?

from memory, the red bit is a stripe.

    > 5. Are roof rats, ordinary rats that inhabit tops of houses and how do
    > we keep them away?

    

    > 6. Why did someone say that the sea was 100km away at Torquay?

because Torquay maybe is 100K away from the Melb CBD

I
    > thought the beaches at Brighton/St Kilda/Sandringham were meant to be
    > OK.

lovely, but who would live there or could affford to..

    > 7. Anybody recommend a decent airline to fly out with? We'd like to
    > put down in Dubai and Singapore. Came with out Emirates last July and
    > I'd quite like to sit with the rest of my family next time!


gee, would you like me to make you a cup of tea when you arrive as well


    > 9. Someone recommended Geelong, are the properties cheaper here and is
    > the employment plentiful and are there still plenty of places to get a
    > nice meal out?

I would recommend Geelong but I'm not sure what for...it is however, the
home of God ( or is he being detained as I type for yet another indiscretion
?)

gra


    > Thanks again in advance.
    > Kim

Nick Coleman

slimdonnybabe wrote:

    > Michael Hoffman <[email protected]> wrote in message
    > news:<[email protected] .0.13>...
    >> [email protected] (slimdonnybabe) wrote in
    >> news:[email protected]:
    >>
    >> > 6. If we want to be near the sea with a big garden and in the
    >> > countryside/semi-rural/very green area not far from CBD (1/2hr by
    >> > train), which areas should we look?
    >>
    >> You don't. If you have the money to afford such a place, then you let
    >> OTHERS do the looking for you.
    >>
    >> Serious, I have no idea of your finances, but do you have the slightest
    >> idea what such a place would cost you? Not that I think it exists, I
    >> would wager. Maybe down the peninsula.
    >>
    >> If you find an affordable one (for mere mortals), please send me a
    >> personal email. We'll move in next door.
    >>
    >> Mike
    >
    > Thanks for the answers, we've had some really good laughs from them,
    > but I've got some more questions:
    > 1. What are 'Drop Bears', I've never heard of them?
    > 2. Are the Tiger Snakes and Black Snakes deadly and how do we
    > recognise them? I've also heard somewhere that you may get the odd
    > brown snake.

Yes they are deadly, but there are anti-venenes; all hospitals have them.
The basic rule is to treat _all_ snakes with caution, so don't worry about
having to identify them.

    > 3. Do the Red Back Spiders really have a red back is that how we
    > recognise them and the same with White Tail Spiders (I've never seen
    > spiders with tails!)?

Red-backs are black with a red dot or stripe. White tails are a small brown
house-spider with a white dot on the end of the spider. There is an urban
myth that their bite causes a festering sore like a large boil. There is
no research to support this.

    > 4. Why do you get more snakes near the sea, or is this just a wind up?

AFAIK, it is a wind up.

You seem a bit obsessed with the whole snake/spider thing. Unless you live
in a semi-rural area, you will never see a snake. Even if you do, nine
times out of ten it is heading at top speed in the opposite direction.
You just be careful in areas where they may be: long grass, scrubby bush,
reeds etc. You don't lift up a bit of tin or wood without banging it first
to scare anything away. You don't walk quietly through long grass, you
tread heavily to alert the snake you are there and to let it get out of the
way. It's all common sense stuff. Same with spiders. Don't stick your
hand into a dark hole without looking first. Red backs like quiet, so they
won't be in any area that is trafficked. They like things like wood
stacks, or the underside of a rock. Despite what some people say, red backs
aren't deadly except maybe to small children and weak elderly. There is an
anti-venene for them (not the small children unfortunately, the redback).

    > 5. Are roof rats, ordinary rats that inhabit tops of houses and how do
    > we keep them away?

They are talking about the bane of urban Melbourne, possums. They are
protected for some reason despite there being thousands of them, and are a
pest if they get into the roof due to their urine stains and scratching
noise in the middle of the night. You have to hire someone to remove them.

    > 6. Why did someone say that the sea was 100km away at Torquay? I
    > thought the beaches at Brighton/St Kilda/Sandringham were meant to be
    > OK.

He was being witty or pedantic, depending. Technically, Melbourne is on a
bay. The sea is outside the bay, a 100km away.

Everyone wants what you want: a house by the bay. Brighton is a very
wealthy/expensive suburb, expect to pay over $1m for a house on the bay.
St Kilda is expensive in parts or a slum with prostitutes and druggies,
it's an interesting eclectic mix of urban funk with trendy wine bars and
restaurants on the main streets, and needles in the back alleys.
Sandringham is a less expensive version of Brighton.

    > 7. Anybody recommend a decent airline to fly out with? We'd like to
    > put down in Dubai and Singapore. Came with out Emirates last July and
    > I'd quite like to sit with the rest of my family next time!

Hmm, I thought Emirates was one of the best. Qantas? Not my personal
favourite, but everyone's opinions vary. Malaysian were good, but go
through Kuala Lumpur, not Dubai or Singapore.

    > 8. What's Altona and Sanctuary Lakes like?

Altona is working class and close to the CBD. Sanctuary Lakes is a newish
development, a fair way out and all the houses look the same. The usual
problems with a new development, lack of infrastructure.

    > 9. Someone recommended Geelong, are the properties cheaper here and is
    > the employment plentiful and are there still plenty of places to get a
    > nice meal out?

Geelong is 80km from Melb, about 50 min drive or an hour by train. It is a
large city by Australian standards, 188,000. Property is cheaper, plenty
of places to eat, employment heavily dependent on Ford manufacturing plant.
Lots of people commute to Melbourne.


--
Nick

Mick

"Graham" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
    > "Mick" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    > news:[email protected]...
    > >
    > > "JustMe" <á@á> wrote in message
    > > news:[email protected]...
    > > >
    > > > ">
    > > > > Are you likely to be harmed by anything deadly around Melbourne?
    > > > >
    > > > > Cars. 400 or so people a year die on Victorian roads. A death from
    > > > > snake, spider, platypus or octopus is rare and major news.
    > > >
    > > > Something long suspected as hazardous, has been recently confirmed by
    > some
    > > > very serious incidents.
    > > >
    > > > Hanging around night clubs, and/or exchanging "pleasantries" with the
    > door
    > > > staff, has been shown to be life threatening. Indulge in this at your
    > > peril.
    > > >
    > > > JustMe
    > > >
    > > > P.S. Drop Bears too.
    > > >
    > > And don't forget about the roof rats that go thump in the middle of the
    > > night. HUGE BUGGERS!!!!!!!
    > but whenever I'm attacked by roof rats, I look on the positive side as I
    > will have to hire a Roof Rat Team to get them out of my flat. I've found
    > that if I pay the team extra, they give me the rat pelts. I've made a few
    > jackets so far..very warm
    > gra
    > >
    > >
Have you tried Roof Rat pie? From what I hear it's not bad with a glass of
red. LOL
--
Mick (:-D
"People demand freedom of speech as a
compensation for the freedom of thought
which they seldom use."
Soren Kierkegaard
Danish Philosopher 1813-1855

Pc

On 21 Feb 2004 09:50:51 -0800, [email protected] (slimdonnybabe)
wrote:

    >2. Are the Tiger Snakes and Black Snakes deadly and how do we
    >recognise them? I've also heard somewhere that you may get the odd
    >brown snake.

You sound like the kind of person that would move to an outer suburb
or semi-rural area at your own peril.. For the sake of our health
sysem, you should probably stick to the inner or middle suburbs..

    >3. Do the Red Back Spiders really have a red back is that how we
    >recognise them

http://images.google.com.au/images?s...back+spider%22

    >and the same with White Tail Spiders (I've never seen spiders with
    >tails!)?

http://images.google.com.au/images?s...tail+spider%22

    >6. Why did someone say that the sea was 100km away at Torquay? I
    >thought the beaches at Brighton/St Kilda/Sandringham were meant to be
    >OK.

Port Philip Bay (which Melbourne is situated around) is not the sea..


It's only connection to the sea is a narrow channel a few hundred
metres wide between Portsea and Queenscliff, which is quite a ride if
you ever get the ferry to Tasmania.. A channel which has claimed an
awful lot of ships, and one prime minister..

But the kind of sea that Australia is generally proud of, with clean
sea water and good surf, is not what you'll find at any of Melbourne's
local beaches.. You need to go down to somewhere along Bass
Strait/Southern Ocean for that..

    >8. What's Altona and Sanctuary Lakes like?

Whatever you do, don't move anywhere that doesn't have a train or tram
service nearby.. Melbourne's buses are totally useless, and you will
be forever ferrying your kids around town by car all weekend, school
holidays etc.. At least with the trains and trams, they can get
somewhere, though chances are you won't use them much yourself unless
you're going to or from work, or are headed to Melbourne's CBD..

Sanctuary Lakes is one of those isolated places..

    >9. Someone recommended Geelong, are the properties cheaper here

Yes, but with good reason..

    >and is the employment plentiful and are there still plenty of places to
    >get a nice meal out?

Geelong's CBD/Waterfront area is gentrifying more and more all the
time.. There's lots of nice places to eat in that area..

Jobs, well, there are jobs in Geelong, but I wouldn't apply for
anything at the Ford plant or any of the businesses that depend on
trade from Ford employees if I were you.. That plant is ancient, and
there's always talk of them moving to larger, more modern facilities
elsewhere..

Geelong will survive, but for the few years after TSHTF, it won't be
pretty.. Well, not unless you are after cheap real estate..


PC

Daniel Bowen

"slimdonnybabe" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
    > 2. Are the Tiger Snakes and Black Snakes deadly and how do we
    > recognise them? I've also heard somewhere that you may get the odd
    > brown snake.

If you live in the typical suburb, you will never see them.

    > 3. Do the Red Back Spiders really have a red back is that how we
    > recognise them and the same with White Tail Spiders (I've never seen
    > spiders with tails!)?

Don't get too obsessed by the whole wildlife thing. I know some English
people who are terrified at the thought of Australian wildlife, but fact is
you rarely see this stuff in the suburbs, and if you're remotely sensible,
won't suffer from them.

    > 4. Why do you get more snakes near the sea, or is this just a wind up?

Yes.

    > 6. Why did someone say that the sea was 100km away at Torquay? I
    > thought the beaches at Brighton/St Kilda/Sandringham were meant to be
    > OK.

Someone got confused between "ocean" and "sea". The sea is at Port Phillip
Bay. You would have to go about 100km to reach *ocean*.

    > 8. What's Altona and Sanctuary Lakes like?

Really depends what you like. Have you actually been to Melbourne?

    > 9. Someone recommended Geelong, are the properties cheaper here and is
    > the employment plentiful and are there still plenty of places to get a
    > nice meal out?

Yes / No / No.


Daniel
--
Daniel Bowen, Melbourne, Australia
Email: dbowen at custard dot net dot au
http://www.danielbowen.com/

Graham W

    > > Graham wrote:
    > > > but whenever I'm attacked by roof rats, I look on the positive
    > > > side as I will have to hire a Roof Rat Team to get them out of my
    > > > flat.

    > A different Graham wrote:
    > > I keep my own in-house Roof Rat Team.

    > > > I've found that if I pay the team extra, they give me the rat pelts.

    > > I'm trying to persuade my team NOT to bring me the pelts.

Graham wrote:
    > if you dont want them, try selling them on Ebay

My Roof Rat Team IS NOT FOR SALE!

Meow.




Oh, you mean the pelts? Unfortunately the team tend to eat off the good
bits and leave the rest. Including contents. The week I fitted them both
with bells they brought me a roofrat *and* a bird to demonstrate that
bells don't work. Now they spend nights indoors.

They're so much better with mini-rats (mice). At first the older cat
would play with them until their little batteries went flat and then
abandon them, but one day he cottoned on that they were not merely
excellent toys, but also tasty little morsels. Now I find nothing.
Absolutely nothing.


There's nothing worse than a cat that leaves the paws and tails behind.

Except perhaps a cat that leaves the kidneys behind.

Graham W

slimdonnybabe wrote:
    > Thanks for the answers, we've had some really good laughs from them,
    > but I've got some more questions:
    > 1. What are 'Drop Bears', I've never heard of them?

Thats because no one has ever survived meeting one.....

    > 2. Are the Tiger Snakes and Black Snakes deadly

Yes.

    > and how do we recognise them?

They're snake shaped. Leave snakes alone. Don't bother trying to
identify the harmless ones and patting them, just leave ALL snakes well
alone.

    > I've also heard somewhere that you may get the odd brown snake.

They're also snake shaped. Leave them alone too.

Seriously, you don't need to be able to identify snakes, just to leave
them alone.

    > 3. Do the Red Back Spiders really have a red back is that how we
    > recognise them and the same with White Tail Spiders (I've never seen
    > spiders with tails!)?

Google will show you pictures of both. They're similar smallish black
spiders, with a red or a white spot on the top of their abdomen.

Unlike snakes, with spiders it's worth knowing a few that aare harmless,
like daddylonglegs and huntsmen, so that you don't spend your life
avoiding the harmless ones, since they're relatively common.

    > 4. Why do you get more snakes near the sea, or is this just a wind up?

Did someone say that? I missed it. You get snakes near bush or long
grass. They're not common in urban areas, but they are more common on
fringe areas.

    > 5. Are roof rats, ordinary rats that inhabit tops of houses and how do
    > we keep them away?

No comment.

    > 6. Why did someone say that the sea was 100km away at Torquay?

I think they were referring to the ocean, as distinct from Port Phillip.
Torquay is an ocean beach outside Port Phillip.

    > I thought the beaches at Brighton/St Kilda/Sandringham were meant to
    > be OK.

By local standards they're not the pristine clean beachs we get on Bass
Strait. By European standards they're probably pretty damn good, close
to the city and not at all crowded.

    > 7. Anybody recommend a decent airline to fly out with? We'd like to
    > put down in Dubai and Singapore. Came with out Emirates last July and
    > I'd quite like to sit with the rest of my family next time!

Make it clear to your travel agent that you will only accept a block of
seats together.

    > 8. What's Altona and Sanctuary Lakes like?

Altona is an older area, but Sanctuary lakes and much else beyond Altona
is relatively new.

Whilst the standard residential lease is 12 months here, if you push
many places will accept 6 months which would give you time to live in
Melbourne and do some research before buying or renting your long term
home.

    > 9. Someone recommended Geelong, are the properties cheaper here and is
    > the employment plentiful and are there still plenty of places to get a
    > nice meal out?

I believe real estate is cheaper. Employment will depend on your
profession. I don't know what the restaurant situation is like in
Geelong.

Graham W

    > > 4. Why do you get more snakes near the sea, or is this just a wind up?

Nick Coleman wrote:
    > AFAIK, it is a wind up.
    >
    > You seem a bit obsessed with the whole snake/spider thing. Unless you
    > live in a semi-rural area, you will never see a snake. Even if you do,
    > nine times out of ten it is heading at top speed in the opposite
    > direction.

Over new year I was up on the Murray river near Yarrawonga. One
afternoon we were swimming in the Murray when a red bellied black snake
came swimming down the river. Needless to say everyone left the water
(you'd have thought someone had seen a shark!). Now this is well and
truly a rural area, country folk who would all have seen snakes before.
And we all rowed up along the river bank and admired this snake from a
safe distance of perhaps 20 feet as it made it's way downstream.

Even country people stopped for a look.

Stop worrying about snakes and spiders.

    > > 5. Are roof rats, ordinary rats that inhabit tops of houses and how do
    > > we keep them away?

    > They are talking about the bane of urban Melbourne, possums.

They were???

    > They are protected for some reason despite there being thousands of
    > them,

My cats would never dream of hunting protected possums!

Damn some of the rats they get are big though. Cute white tips on their
tails too.

    > and are a pest if they get into the roof due to their urine
    > stains and scratching noise in the middle of the night.

You left out the hobnail boots.

    > You have to hire someone to remove them.

Can't imagine why. It's not like they're hard to trap in a possum cage
and relocate. And if they don't like being relocated by residents, what
difference is a licence going to make?

    > > 8. What's Altona and Sanctuary Lakes like?

    > Altona is working class and close to the CBD.

Have you had a look around Altona lately? It's upwardly mobile,
particularly the beachfront, and gentrifying fast. Start at the beach
front and walk or drive back a couple of blocks and see the change over
a few hundred metres!