TrickyTrev

My daughter has had a boyfriend for the last 18 months or so and we are off to Oz in July. They have both always known this is/was the plan but now;- she doesn't want to leave him here and he doesn't want her to go without him.

What a position we find ourselves in.

He is currently at college and wants to be a P.E. teacher. We have looked on the internet and it seems that the student route is a no-go option for him as he would have to pay for his own studies and the costs are enormous.

Does anyone know;- Is there anyway that we could get him in to Australia on a permanent basis??

We have looked at the WHV but this is only short-term and he would have to give his studies up. Not what he, or we, would want.

We would love to hear from anybody who can give any guidance or have found themselves in a similar position.

Many thanks.

In desparation,

Trev

lainey70

if you dont mind me asking how old is your daughter?

emmyjc1

Thats a tricky one - i think you should get him to contact a migration agent to see what his options are, the only ones I can think of are to go for the WHV and take a year out.
If he is going to Australia and not willing to pay the Uni fees he will have to give up his studying.
If he stays in the UK untill he is qualified he can come on a WHV and then try and get sponsored once he is here.
Or your daughter validate her visa then go back to stay in the UK untill he has done his course then he will be eligable for a De facto visa.

TrickyTrev

Hi lainey

Daughter was 16 in January, boyfriend will be 18 in October.
Our visas expire in April of next year so she doesn't have the luxury of waiting too long and coming out to us later.

Trev
x

TrickyTrev

Hi Emmy

Yes we have looked at the WHV but I do not think he will be too keen on giving up his studies and we wouldn't him too either as his (and their) future is important.

At the end of the day they are both very very young and the other option to sponsor him as a de facto partner seems to have come too early in their lives and relationship to have to commit to something like that. (plus our visas expire in April next year as stated already)

Our daughter realistically would be living with us and dependant upon us for several more years yet you would think.

We are happy for the boyfriend to live with us and be part of the family but would this still count as them living together??

Regardless of this we STILL have the problem that he can not seriously consider studying in Oz due to the substantial money required to pay the fees.

What to do. My daughter is distraught and we are broken hearted for her as well as ourselves. We hate to see her suffering like this.

You can't help how you feel for someone and who knows this boyfriend may be 'the one' for her?

Thanks for listening Emmy, and you too Lainey!

Trev x

Australia_bound?

Any chance you can explain how your visa's expire? Are you on WHV? If you mean you need to validate before then, how come your daughter can't return to UK for 3-4 years and live with her boyfriend until he's qualified then come out on defacto (also will be a bit more mature and know how they feel, as how many people marry those who they've been with since they were 16?).
Otherwise there's no option open to them, unless it's the WHV route (which he won't do as has greater priorities)

mark213

Trev,
Really feel for the predicament you are in any trying to balance your families requirements.

This forum is really for visas only and from reading this, it seems to be more of an emotional and personal decision that maybe the main Australia forum above may help. I'm sure you are not the only families who have already migrated with teenage children who had partners, and may be able to offer more personal advice as to how they resolved it, than purely visa options.

As you can see from above there's very little you can do visa wise. WHV, defacto, student seem all to be wrong for him and if he wants to stay in the UK there is little option.

He needs to study and you all agree, you want to migrate and that as a family you need to decide which is the best option for you as a family long term. There is nothing to stop her b/f later in life coming out to Oz on a skilled visa if hes qualified, or even on working holiday after his studies. She could stay in the UK if you want that to be an option but it sounds like she is too dependant on you. Remember she can always go back to the UK once resident or a citizen in Aus.

In the meantime a long distance over skype can work (did with me for a year with my australian g/f whilst i was waiting for my visa) with regular trips/visits. If they want it to work, it will. Just try to always spin the good side about migrating and be positive to her about the future options available.

Good luck

emmyjc1

Hi Trev

I have sent u a PM but it kinda just says the same as aus bound and Mark
I think that if he is really serious about her he should give the WHV a go and he can always go back to studying. I know easier said than done!

Emma

Pollyana

Looks from previous posts like they have already ping-ponged a couple of times, so it's not validation, its the move before the visa expires.

OriginalSunshine

tough

life sucks

if they want to play at being adults then they have to take some adult decisions on their own

ianbrown

I would speak to an agent, but looks like their options are very limited to be honest, she has to decide to stay or go with you, thats if he cant decide between his career and his girlfriend.

martin888

you don;t want your daughter to marry at this age do you.

anyway best of luck in getting through this

TrickyTrev

Thanks to everybody for their input......... apart from Originalsunshine who seems to be having a bad day........ it is much appreciated.

Trev

emmyjc1

Thats really helpful!

lainey70

hi Trev
my daughter just turned 16 when we decided to start thinking about moving to Oz, at the time she had a boyfriend and even though they were young she wanted to stay. We explained about all the different visas etc, but we tried not to argue about it.
Then when she 17 her dad passed away ( we had separated years earlier) and that her even more determined to stay here because of her dads mum being on her own, and that his ashes were here, she was still with her boyfriend. By this time she was working and not classed as a dependant once she turned 18, but I still wanted her to come with us, as time has gone on she is now 20 and not with her boyfriend and now wants to come with us.

She will be a quailfied hairdresser in Sept and then put in her TRA, Then is coming over on a WHV and going to do seasonal work (fruit picking) for 3 mths, then work for 6mths, apply for another WHV which you are allowed to do as she has done seasonal work for 3mths.Work for another 6mths for another employer, then can show 12mths work to apply for a PR visa, it sounds a bit confusing but looking back 4 years ago its nothing to how heart broken I was.

My mum emigrated to Italy when I was 16 and I stayed with my boyfriend here in England, it wasn't much fun and I think my life would have been a lot different.In other words I wish she had taken me.
All I can say is she is still in your care till she is 18. If her boyfriend really loves her he will want whats best for her.
Things change over time and it will be hard for every one at first, but it will work out in the end.
Hope it all goes well and good luck. x