Thinking of giving up

Old May 22nd 2009, 7:11 am
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Default Thinking of giving up

You may of seen the posts on here by my wife, Well this is her hubby writing this. We have been planning and working on this for over a year now (on paper) and researching the move for around 5 years. Our problem is the case of medicals. My wife has high cholesterol, 5.2 (not exactly huge) and I have raised LFT's. I work as a nurse and both know that these figures are insignificant as we are in pretty good shape otherwise.

My issues are what with an ever decreasing deadline to meet (job starts Sept09) and issues raised with our medicals. I;m just wondering where does it all stop? I am frankly pissed off with the whole process, have to prove this and that, medicals, paperwork, cash, more cash, more referrals, more paperwork more time.

Basically we have no money left to continue our dream. we don't own our house, in fact we never will in this shitty country, that's just 1 of many reasons for wanting out. So what do we do?

Carry on and just stress ourselves out to breaking point?
Give up and basically argue and regret the whole experience for the rest of our marriage?

I suspect there are people on this forum who have had the same issues and experiences as us. So how did you handle it?

Not looking for a sympathy vote just some honest advice, and i'm sorry if any reply's that come back from me (the hubby) piss you off, I'm not exactly in a forgiving mood lately.

Cheers

Mr Moo
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Old May 22nd 2009, 7:18 am
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Default Re: Thinking of giving up

It looks like buying a house is a big issue for you. From what I hear on this site, houses in NZ are quite expensive so unless you are planning to live out in the sticks you may not be able to afford a house there on local wages. The same holds true in the UK. Houses are expensive in some areas, but cheap in other more remote areas. Have you done your homework on house prices in both countries.

I imagine it is natural to have second thoughts during such a long drawn out process. You have come this far, so I think you would feel bad if you backed out now (which you suggest in your post). A little thing niggled me in your post. If there are issues in your marriage migrating will put more strain on it, not less in most cases. Sorry if I stepped over the line there.

Chin up. I'm sure it will be fine. Do your homework though.
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Old May 22nd 2009, 7:51 am
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Default Re: Thinking of giving up

If you read my post just on this morning, you will see we too have some pretty similar (medical) issues to you. We are not giving up: not ever. We will get there and so will you.... My job starts on July 27th and I haven't got a hope of getting there by then !!

I think that, having got so far, you will live to regret it forever if you cave in. Even my LAWYERS told me it was hard, mentally (see my post). And you DO have a job, it's still some time off, housing is not expensive if you live in the sticks, consider renting (I am sure you have) and work together to cheer each other up: that's what we do
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Old May 22nd 2009, 7:52 am
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Default Re: Thinking of giving up

Originally Posted by MooMoo290373 View Post
You may of seen the posts on here by my wife, Well this is her hubby writing this. We have been planning and working on this for over a year now (on paper) and researching the move for around 5 years. Our problem is the case of medicals. My wife has high cholesterol, 5.2 (not exactly huge) and I have raised LFT's. I work as a nurse and both know that these figures are insignificant as we are in pretty good shape otherwise.

My issues are what with an ever decreasing deadline to meet (job starts Sept09) and issues raised with our medicals. I;m just wondering where does it all stop? I am frankly pissed off with the whole process, have to prove this and that, medicals, paperwork, cash, more cash, more referrals, more paperwork more time.

Basically we have no money left to continue our dream. we don't own our house, in fact we never will in this shitty country, that's just 1 of many reasons for wanting out. So what do we do?

Carry on and just stress ourselves out to breaking point?
Give up and basically argue and regret the whole experience for the rest of our marriage?

I suspect there are people on this forum who have had the same issues and experiences as us. So how did you handle it?

Not looking for a sympathy vote just some honest advice, and i'm sorry if any reply's that come back from me (the hubby) piss you off, I'm not exactly in a forgiving mood lately.

Cheers

Mr Moo
Hi,
We are in a very similar position to yourselves....
I know how you feel,just seems like one hurdle after another.
Mine has been going on for over a year now.
ITA sibmitted last October,been lots of things going back and forth with NZIS..ie medical stuff.Liver function problems.Finally got them sorted too weeks ago....And now they want more info about my job offer....
Like you say..Where does it end..
We also dont have a house to sell ,just hard eaned savings ..

Yes it does get you down,but im sure things will work out for you..
Just try to put things to the back of your mind,and keep your chin up......

All the best...
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Old May 22nd 2009, 8:09 am
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Default Re: Thinking of giving up

Originally Posted by MooMoo290373 View Post
You may of seen the posts on here by my wife, Well this is her hubby writing this. We have been planning and working on this for over a year now (on paper) and researching the move for around 5 years. Our problem is the case of medicals. My wife has high cholesterol, 5.2 (not exactly huge) and I have raised LFT's. I work as a nurse and both know that these figures are insignificant as we are in pretty good shape otherwise.

My issues are what with an ever decreasing deadline to meet (job starts Sept09) and issues raised with our medicals. I;m just wondering where does it all stop? I am frankly pissed off with the whole process, have to prove this and that, medicals, paperwork, cash, more cash, more referrals, more paperwork more time.

Basically we have no money left to continue our dream. we don't own our house, in fact we never will in this shitty country, that's just 1 of many reasons for wanting out. So what do we do?

Carry on and just stress ourselves out to breaking point?
Give up and basically argue and regret the whole experience for the rest of our marriage?

I suspect there are people on this forum who have had the same issues and experiences as us. So how did you handle it?

Not looking for a sympathy vote just some honest advice, and i'm sorry if any reply's that come back from me (the hubby) piss you off, I'm not exactly in a forgiving mood lately.

Cheers

Mr Moo
Mr and Mrs Moo

I'm a newbie around here....at the start of the long road myself....so what do I know...but just wanted to say...you can't voluntarily give up....you are so nearly there.

We are in the same boat. We have a bit of money but no property here...not much chance of one either. We can afford our dream place in NZ. Yes okay, it will be in the sticks but it will be worlds different than the future we could have here. I a nurse too. Your medical issues are miniscule compared to others around here. You knew at the beginning of all this that you would have to jump the hoops. Your costs are also nearing the end too. Just do what they ask you to do... any amount of NZIS bollocks will be worth it in the end and you know that in your heart of hearts.

I don't pick up marital discord...in fact quite the opposite.

Be pissed off...but don't give up.

Yes the financial costs of all this are actually obscene.

In about 6 months time, when you are overthere, sitting on your deck soaking up the sun, check my threads and read my own rants...I know there will be a few.

Don't be upset with me posting and I being a relative newbie. Actually if you look I have been a member a few years now. Lots of talk no action.

In fact I don't really give a stuff if you do get upset....just don't give up, so near the end

Chin up
Maria
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Old May 22nd 2009, 8:17 am
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Default Re: Thinking of giving up

Hey Mr Moo, can't offer much in the way of concrete help But, if you rent here you can rent in NZ (we're the only country in the world who has such a big thing about owning our own home). I can trump your wait, been trying to go for the last 14 years!! Had to give up on it the first time (been accepted too) as EX OH changed his mind. Now it'll be the decision of the Courts.
But you know what I'm never giving up. I don't care if I have to wait til DD is old enough to go herself and then I'll be her dependant. I don't care if I hate it after a few years, at least I'll have done it and not be lying on my death bed ,saying, if only.....
It's incredibly stressful. But keep on talking, to Mrs Moo and all the fantastic people on here. You're a long time dead, eh!
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Old May 22nd 2009, 10:09 am
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Default Re: Thinking of giving up

Hi another newbie here to add her two penneth!
I'm also a nurse off to NZ,finally! (see intro for more info) but unlike you I guess, I am heading towards the end of my nursing career (not ancient but not young!!) but 'oh' how we wish we had made the move when we were younger!!..........so keep at it, dont give up, having come this far live your dream!!! and let that hard earned qualification take you there ...... if you dont you will always wonder 'what if'

Sorry, in danger of babbling on a bit! ..... just keep at it!!
B
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Old May 22nd 2009, 10:25 am
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Default Re: Thinking of giving up

Hi Mr Moo

Another newish newbie but just wanted to offer my support and back up the comments of j19fmm and Numptyhead, especially. You and your family have come so far already - yes it's a testing time but it will all be worth it in the end, 'no pain, no gain' and all that. If you throw in the towel now, you will have nothing to show for it, except for years of regret in the future. It is true, we are all a long time dead, so why not just bite the bullet and stick with it. Easy said than done, but as someone who has previous medical issues (mastectomy in 2000 but nothing else - no chemo, nothing), I dare say it won't be a bed of roses for me either. There are a few having to jump through medical hoops so you're not alone. Money is tight for quite a few of at the moment and it would seem a shame that you have to give up your dream. Is there no way you can email your case officer (if you have one yet) for advice. Don't wish to sound thick but I don't personally know enough about the implications of high cholesterol and raised LFT on the whole process - were the tests necessary following high BMI levels or something? Is your wife taking corrective action, perhaps if she is it is something that you can inform them of.
I still can't help feel how much of a shame it would be to jack the lot in now. You will have lost what you have invested so far and if you should decide to try again in the future, you will have had to pay out twice.
Please reconsider your situation before doing anything drastic.
Keep the dream alive and give yourself the life you deserve
Good luck, Liz
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Old May 22nd 2009, 11:02 am
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Default Re: Thinking of giving up

Oh dear? What's happened? So you're not coming out the 19/20 August to start work 7th Sept? I wondered why'd not heard re the rental I've tried to sort for you and yours?
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Old May 22nd 2009, 12:41 pm
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Default Re: Thinking of giving up

Originally Posted by MooMoo290373 View Post
You may of seen the posts on here by my wife, Well this is her hubby writing this. We have been planning and working on this for over a year now (on paper) and researching the move for around 5 years. Our problem is the case of medicals. My wife has high cholesterol, 5.2 (not exactly huge) and I have raised LFT's. I work as a nurse and both know that these figures are insignificant as we are in pretty good shape otherwise.

My issues are what with an ever decreasing deadline to meet (job starts Sept09) and issues raised with our medicals. I;m just wondering where does it all stop? I am frankly pissed off with the whole process, have to prove this and that, medicals, paperwork, cash, more cash, more referrals, more paperwork more time.

Basically we have no money left to continue our dream. we don't own our house, in fact we never will in this shitty country, that's just 1 of many reasons for wanting out. So what do we do?

Carry on and just stress ourselves out to breaking point?
Give up and basically argue and regret the whole experience for the rest of our marriage?

I suspect there are people on this forum who have had the same issues and experiences as us. So how did you handle it?

Not looking for a sympathy vote just some honest advice, and i'm sorry if any reply's that come back from me (the hubby) piss you off, I'm not exactly in a forgiving mood lately.

Cheers

Mr Moo
HHmm. you are a nurse so perhaps you know what you both may be able to do to get your meds within the parameters.

No consolation at all mate, but it is the same for many of us one way or another and yes, it is a huge amount of money to fork out. My husband has been a master plumber for over 35 yrs but can he be one here? Nope . Not without several more hoops to jump than he has had already. Not moaning about that you understand. Just trying to illustrate that it can be very very tough. no doubt about that.

If you have a job offer, then you have more than many. Focus on that. Jump through the medical hoops and do whatever it takes. Kags did just that.

I don't know your financial situation. If you have a job offer and can sort out the med issues then get here on temp. work visas. Might sound glib but what else have you.
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Old May 22nd 2009, 1:23 pm
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Default Re: Thinking of giving up

hello mr moo and mrs moo
it sounds as though the nz rollercoaster ride has been a rough one for you. it may look as tho you are sliding back down a slippery slope but i would say stick your heals in. you have come along way through the process and you would defintly be kicking yourselves if you give up now.
its ok to have a rant....its a stressfull time in your life and what better way to let off steam but to have a good old rant to us
personally i would hang in there, and when life looks down just think that your only round the corner to your new life. i hope things get better and hopefully once your over this hurdle it will be over and done with and you can then finally settle in nz
hang in there, chin up and most importantly keep smiling
ki x
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Old May 22nd 2009, 3:16 pm
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Default Re: Thinking of giving up

Hey the Moos!
Things have been hard this end too... Still are actually. Was meant to start 1st April n am still here...
But I keep smiling n look forward to that email or call from my CO saying it's all OK!
Stay strong!
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Old May 22nd 2009, 6:04 pm
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Default Re: Thinking of giving up

HI think its pretty common what you are going through. i am a nurse too and thought our application would be straight forward but they pulled holes in our medicals over nothing and had to get referals and specialist reports, etc. then when that was ok i had phone interview and my co emailed hour later wanting details of jobs i had looked at etc. anyway we got pr in the end-a year later!! it will work out ok, hang on in there!!
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Old May 22nd 2009, 6:37 pm
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Default Re: Thinking of giving up

Thanks for the feedback guys, It's just after reading around on net last night (on night shift) I think I read to many horror stories. Everyday in my Job all I hear is 'When you going?' 'what's happening with your move?' even stuff like 'When do you fly out?'. I'm just pretty pissed off with having to reply with the same old same old. I just can't believe that you can spend near on 2K only for them to still say 'Computer says NO!'

I have been given clearance by occupational health, so they are happy. My GP isn't exactly the fastest person in the world get a letter or even straight answer out of. For the skilled migrant PR, I really think the whole process stinks. I have a letter from my employer stating they cannot recruit nurses both nationally, internationally for the last 2 years with the experience they require. So what' the problem? Sounds like the whole immigration process is the problem.

Basically the posts I have left today are just a rant, and are not intended to offend anyone. It's just I feel I offer more to another country with my skills than I do here in the UK. But at what cost to me? It's time, money and stress, and for all I know I may well be wrong in this whole exercise.

Rant over for now.

Mr Moo
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Old May 22nd 2009, 6:46 pm
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Default Re: Thinking of giving up

I get the same questions days in/days out... "Have you heard back yet?" "Not gone yet?" What's happening with this visa?" and it annoys me too to answer... The worst one "Are you sure you still have a job? They must be fed up to wait for you?" (Like am not fed up!! LOL) This has been going on since January for me...

I just tell myself that they only asking coz they are worried for me.... I mean at any time now I might blow a fuse n completely loose it... Anyway, am off out to party!
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