leaving NZ rules re teenagers?

Old May 25th 2008, 2:30 am
  #1  
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Default leaving NZ rules re teenagers?

Hi
we have permanent residency in New Zealand been here 4 years but for numerous reason want to return to the Uk. The problem we have is a 16 yr old being difficult and saying he's not coming back! Anyone know how we stand , tried to look on the NZ immigration site but couldn't find anything.
Is he allowed to stay? He has no way of supporting himself..... & presumably he was allowed residency because his dad has a job , house income! Anyone know the rules....
He is part of the reason we are returning he has dropped out of school and is hanging around with wasters/boy racers which NZ has lots of.The other is just family stuff recent death etc.
Thanks
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Old May 25th 2008, 3:43 am
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Default Re: leaving NZ rules re teenagers?

If he has permanent residence then he is allowed to stay, unless your permanent residence is subject to conditions.

If you have taken a teenager over to the far side of the world, have you considered whether you have the right (morally) to expect same teenager to move back just because you want to?

Why not put off the plan to move back for a few years until your child is a little older and more independent?
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Old May 27th 2008, 10:24 am
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Default Re: leaving NZ rules re teenagers?

Originally Posted by devon4 View Post
Hi
we have permanent residency in New Zealand been here 4 years but for numerous reason want to return to the Uk. The problem we have is a 16 yr old being difficult and saying he's not coming back! Anyone know how we stand , tried to look on the NZ immigration site but couldn't find anything.
Is he allowed to stay? He has no way of supporting himself..... & presumably he was allowed residency because his dad has a job , house income! Anyone know the rules....
He is part of the reason we are returning he has dropped out of school and is hanging around with wasters/boy racers which NZ has lots of.The other is just family stuff recent death etc.
Thanks
Do you/ your kids have citizenship yet? Or at least indefinate returning resident visas?
Dont know about the legal age for somebody to live on their own, supporting themselves, being able to work, sign leases etc.
Maybe a trae off will be to allow him to stay and study in NZ, and then if he graduates/ qualifies he will be a few years older and better able to decide where he wants to settle.
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Old May 27th 2008, 11:21 am
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Default Re: leaving NZ rules re teenagers?

Originally Posted by devon4 View Post
Hi
we have permanent residency in New Zealand been here 4 years but for numerous reason want to return to the Uk. The problem we have is a 16 yr old being difficult and saying he's not coming back! Anyone know how we stand , tried to look on the NZ immigration site but couldn't find anything.
Is he allowed to stay? He has no way of supporting himself..... & presumably he was allowed residency because his dad has a job , house income! Anyone know the rules....
He is part of the reason we are returning he has dropped out of school and is hanging around with wasters/boy racers which NZ has lots of.The other is just family stuff recent death etc.
Thanks
You seem to be having to deal with quite a bit at the moment, moving will add to it. Take the time to remember why you left the UK and weigh up the Pro's and Con's of returning/leaving what you have worked hard for.

When we were in the process of emigrating my 18 year old felt he did not want to come, had good friends and a job he could progress in, offers of accommodation if he stayed. I pointed out that yes, he has good friends, but human nature dictates that these friends will generally move on and though the intention is to maintain the close friendship it changes, you remain good friends but see less and less of each other, families don't move on. He thought about it and decided to come with us (I wouldn't have left the UK without him, all or no-one).

Children drop out of school in all countries. You could consider moving to another area of NZ, if staying outweights returning.

All I would say is don't act in haste/

Good luck with the future, life will improve
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Old May 27th 2008, 7:08 pm
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Default Re: leaving NZ rules re teenagers?

Thanks for taking time to read my post and not judge..... yes we have an awful lot on.
I have done a pros/cons list and I felt so alone when my husband went back when his father was ill & subsequently died. For 2 wks the only person I had contact with was my husband when he phoned..... it really brought home that we have met some nice people here but no one that matters!
It's a beautiful place no doubting that but it's so far away... he just got home in time he had 3 days with his dad before he died. I just don't want to get ill here or have to go through what we went through again.
We didn't hate the UK before we came it was just an adventure something new I suppose. The lack of holidays here is also another factor & the pension & life insurance etc that you get with the jobs his is applying for 40 leave plus bank holidays!( he used 2 wks going home)
We know people here that are in there 60's and still struggling and people still have to find work to live.
I do feel it's a hard decision trying to do the RIGHT thing by our kids but I want my 8 yr old to know his aunty's , counsins etc
I have told my teenager the points of people will move on & friends constantly change as for the Uni thing NO chance he will not study he has left with no NCEA at all! & no one cares.... for that I am very angry

Thanks
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Old May 27th 2008, 7:50 pm
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Smile Re: leaving NZ rules re teenagers?

Originally Posted by devon4 View Post
Thanks for taking time to read my post and not judge..... yes we have an awful lot on.
I have done a pros/cons list and I felt so alone when my husband went back when his father was ill & subsequently died. For 2 wks the only person I had contact with was my husband when he phoned..... it really brought home that we have met some nice people here but no one that matters!
It's a beautiful place no doubting that but it's so far away... he just got home in time he had 3 days with his dad before he died. I just don't want to get ill here or have to go through what we went through again.
We didn't hate the UK before we came it was just an adventure something new I suppose. The lack of holidays here is also another factor & the pension & life insurance etc that you get with the jobs his is applying for 40 leave plus bank holidays!( he used 2 wks going home)
We know people here that are in there 60's and still struggling and people still have to find work to live.
I do feel it's a hard decision trying to do the RIGHT thing by our kids but I want my 8 yr old to know his aunty's , counsins etc
I have told my teenager the points of people will move on & friends constantly change as for the Uni thing NO chance he will not study he has left with no NCEA at all! & no one cares.... for that I am very angry

Thanks

Hi - I must say - My heart goes out to you.
What an awful situation - I've got 3 teenage boys - so I know what hard work they can be !
Good luck - I'll be thinking of you !! love Alice xxx

( sorry I didn't give help & advice - but I'm sure you'll make the right move )
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Old May 28th 2008, 9:31 am
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Default Re: leaving NZ rules re teenagers?

Originally Posted by devon4 View Post
Thanks for taking time to read my post and not judge..... yes we have an awful lot on.
I have done a pros/cons list and I felt so alone when my husband went back when his father was ill & subsequently died. For 2 wks the only person I had contact with was my husband when he phoned..... it really brought home that we have met some nice people here but no one that matters!
It's a beautiful place no doubting that but it's so far away... he just got home in time he had 3 days with his dad before he died. I just don't want to get ill here or have to go through what we went through again.
We didn't hate the UK before we came it was just an adventure something new I suppose. The lack of holidays here is also another factor & the pension & life insurance etc that you get with the jobs his is applying for 40 leave plus bank holidays!( he used 2 wks going home)
We know people here that are in there 60's and still struggling and people still have to find work to live.
I do feel it's a hard decision trying to do the RIGHT thing by our kids but I want my 8 yr old to know his aunty's , counsins etc
I have told my teenager the points of people will move on & friends constantly change as for the Uni thing NO chance he will not study he has left with no NCEA at all! & no one cares.... for that I am very angry

Thanks
sorry about the hard time...i cant really be of much help unfortunately.
seems like if he wants to be treated like an adult (live in a country by himself) then he should be given the chance to show he can act like one, so ask him to come up with a solution on how he thinks he will support himself etc. studying doesnt have to be uni, could be some vocational course. but i am not really in a position to offer much practical advice, just sounds like if he wants to be independant he needs to be grown up enough about it to discuss the practicalities with you. maybe he will even come to realise he doesnt want to live in nz by himself after all.

anyway...best of luck

Last edited by newkiwi; May 28th 2008 at 9:35 am.
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Old May 31st 2008, 7:24 pm
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Default Re: leaving NZ rules re teenagers?

Hi, I can't really give you any advice from a legal perspective either, but thought you could do with some more positive energy, so sending some karma your way.... (or will do in a minute when I finish writing this ).

I don't have any teenagers so I can only try and understand what you must be going through, and it's not difficult to understand that it must be really, really tough.

I know you said the problems with your son are not the only reason why you want to come back to the UK, but have you considered the idea that bringing him back might only make matters worse? Firstly you will be dragging him away against his will, so once here he'll probably be more determined to rebel. And secondly, it looks like young people are even more out of control in this country lately, so he wouldn't be getting s particularly good influence here.

Have you been paying attention to the news recently? There seems to be at least one terrible story concerning youths every other day, it's either kids getting into knife fights, practising happy slapping and bragging about it, kicking people to death for daring to tell them off, or turning up at somebody's house and trashing it for a laugh.... knowing they'll be able to get away with it because of this government's soft approach to criminals and wrong-doers.

It is getting really scary and I am not surprised people with young children want to get away from all this. I know that NZ has its own problems but it can't be worse than here.

Sorry I can't offer you any practical advice on how to actually get help for your son, but thought you'd like to hear another perspective.... I wish you all the best and hope that whatever you decide will be the right thing for all of you.
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Old Jun 3rd 2008, 5:27 pm
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Default Re: leaving NZ rules re teenagers?

Hi

Maybe you should take some time to recover from the shock of your husbands dad passing away before you make any decisions. It must have been horrible for all of you. After and experience like that anybody would want to go home, in a few months though, you might feel differently.
If you don't then it's time to reassess the situation and start plans to return home. Surely if your son is under 18 you can take him back with you and tell him if he does some sort of training or gets a job then he will be able to return later on when he's older enough to look after himself. I don't think at 16 I would have been ready to live on my own in a different country to my parents. I expect if you get to the point of booking flights he'll start wanting to come with you.

Good luck and I hope you feel happier soon.

x x x
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Old Jun 4th 2008, 1:14 pm
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Default Re: leaving NZ rules re teenagers?

Hi, thought I'd catch up with you. How are you feeling? Have you had the time to sit and digest what your wellwishers have had to say, I hope so.

Let us know how you are

Pauline
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Old Jun 4th 2008, 8:03 pm
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Default Re: leaving NZ rules re teenagers?

Hi
Thank you all for you thoughts & wishes.
Trying to look at everything and not act in haste!
Writing pro's and cons for everything & considering health , family, education work housing.
My hubby has got an interview in Somerset later this month and although expensive I think he will go as he worries that 4yrs on & no one wants you.... plus we are not getting any younger and if we were to go back it would have to be sooner as getting senior management jobs when you have been out of the country for 4 yrs isn't that easy from the other side of the world.
So we are looking at everything and taking it day by day!
Thanks
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