Guildfordgirl1

My family and I have lived in NZ for 6 years and are NZ residents, and we still have not settled here. My husband is a teacher and I have been studying and finish my degree this year. Our daughter of 18 years is not keen on moving back, which I guess is her decision. Our son is 10 years and in yr 6, so am thinking about moving back to the UK in about 18 months - 2 yrs time to finish his schooling so he could start secondary school. Although a friendly and welcoming family, we have felt very isolated and lonely, and life has been a huge struggle since we have been here, although we have grown as people enormously!

My question is that once we gain citizenship in July 2012 (as we missed the new regs by about 8 months) and have dual citizenship,will NZ immigration let us live in the UK for several years, with the choice to return if we want to? My understanding is that Immigration allow NZ citizens to come back and forth as they like, so once we have citizenship can we go and live in the UK? We wanted to get citizenship first in case we ended up not liking it, as we have heard so many people do. On the other hand I have read some threads that have suggested that moving back to the UK helped them to appreciate it in a new way! Any thoughts or comments please?

george toni

sounds like a plan that could leave you with both children staying put in different places when you choose to move again and then again?

How does your ten year old feel about gonig back to the UK?

I reckon you would be in for a huge culture shock regarding secondary education in the UK compared to here.

guess as teachers you have a better clue as to uk ed standards.

as for citizenship I dont know for sure but id say once you are a citizen you are free to come and go as you please.

could it be Hamilton itself how about a try in another part of NZ for a while?

good luck

george

Guildfordgirl1

Hi George

Thanks for your reply. I agree with your comments about 2 children in different places, and the educational differences in secondary education. My 10 yr old son also has Aspergers, and I don't think he would do too well with the academic pressures of UK secondary schools. We have not been able to visit the UK for 4 years, and we expected to have had the finances to go back every 2 years, but as I have been studying it has not been possible. It could be that at the end of my study I should go back for a visit on my own next year to take a look and see how green the grass is over there! Last year I took a multicultural paper in the counselling programme I am studying, and from all my readings it talked about many immigrants suffering from culture shock resulting in post traumatic stress disorder, loss of personal and cultural identity and that it is a huge grieving process. There was also a paper by Berry., J (1992) on a Model of Acculturation in a New Society that said that it depended on the amount of personal baggage that a person had before they emigrated as to how well they settled and acclimatised to the new culture. (It was a good read if you are interested and attach it for your reference)

We have felt very isolated, despite our many efforts to socialise, and our experience has been that we have not been invited back to people's houses as we were used to in the uk. Maybe this is also a cultural thing? Having been in college, the biculturalism has made its mark on me as the only colonial in the class, all of which has taken its toll!

As you say, it could be that moving to another part of the country could be an answer, and maybe there is a British community in Hamilton that I haven't found yet. Could this be a key? (I think maybe I am counselling myself!) My studies showed me that people settled when they felt part of a community, especially if they did not have family. How do I go about finding this community?

thedtb

If you find out, can you let me know please?

I'm hoping that now the Summer Holidays are (almost) out of the way and the Kindy drop-off's/collections/events will start again, that socialising with other parents will take it's natural course, but we've been taking the boys to Play Centre each week during the holidays, had conversations about reciprocal visits and even exchanged numbers with other parents there in order that their kids and ours can socialise outside of Playcentre... all, currently, to no avail.

Finger's crossed it'll change, and I'll certainly be trying hard to make it so, but if there's any tricks of the trade I'd be very keen to hear them.

In relation to your original question, I understand - but don't claim to be an expert - that once you're citizens you can come and go as you please.

Guildfordgirl1

Thanks for your reply - I'll keep you posted! Things seem to be done a lot differently here. We feel tired of making all the effort! I think finding some like minded Brits might be the key!

How long have you been here?

thedtb

Only since September, and we've only been here in Masterton since October... our eldest only started going to Kindy just over a week before the holidays started, so it is VERY early days still for us... just been a little disappointing how not much in terms of making friendships here has been achieved here yet.... incidentally if you ever find yourself in/near Masterton, give us a shout... :-)

george toni

I hate to go on about the south island as much as I do and when I say south I mean Dunedin but I have to say that down here I have never felt like a outcast or looked at as a 'bloody pom' nor had even one negative episode based around maori.

Maybe thats luck but having been here 6 years and having worked in hundreds of homes and met many people i'd say not.

we do get crap weather now and again but not that bad and I still have all year t shirt wearing winter days.

It is hard to settle in and if you bring baggage with you it will be harder.

I would say for sure you should go back on your own as on a very brief return trip I did after just 4 months here I was shocked at what I saw. I havent been back since and nor do I want to.

I would suggest if atall possible that you should move down to the south island for a try in time for your son to hit high school at the same time as all the other new kids. I would do that before a total move all the way back to the uk.

end of the day only you can decide whats right for your family and as good as im sure the reports and studies are they IMO are other peoples situations and will not allways relate to your situation.

good luck

george

Guildfordgirl1

Thanks George, you have given some good advice. They are defininately some options.

Am Loolah

Yes, once you're a fully fledge Kiwi Citizen you can come and go as you please - so well worth holding out for, especially for the kids.

It's a shame you missed this meet-up in Hamilton recently. The meet-ups we arrange are such a good source of gaining new friends and a support network.

Try and see if there are anymore being planned for your area? I think colandros organised the last one so maybe worth PM'ing them?

JAJ

Except that if you leave NZ before becoming a citizen, or make firm plans to leave, or even express a firm intention to leave, your citizenship can be refused.

Bottom line. Become a citizen first, then think about options later on.

luvwelly

Am I missing sth here...I thought once you had IRRV (2 years after getting PR), you could come and go as you pleased..subject to the Law not being changed.

luvwelly

Just my opinion but I'd say you have to make all the effort because their social networks are already settled and there is no reason to 'let you in' unless they can see some real value in doing so. The older you are, the harder it is.
Usually though when you have babies/toddlers in tow, it is the easiest time to make new adult friends.
If you let it be known you are not necessarily here long-term, they may avoid making an effort. If you rent rather than buy a property, you will be viewed as temporary in the neighbourhood.
Knowing you have no immediate family in NZ, might make people wary that you will ask for babysitting/pet-sitting favours etc etc that they have no wish to reciprocate.
TBH after 6 years in 2 countries as an expatriate, you will for sure find the warmest welcome among fellow expats or people 'in the same boat'/kids-school run wise- ...they don't have to be Brits though...Ozzies, South Africans, other Europeans married to Kiwis, you name it all have (had) the same issues....but even they, if longtimers will gradually become wary once they have had the experience of a few Expat friends moving on...they start to think it is too emotionally draining to keep making Expat friends.

JAJ

You are missing something ... look at the requirements to become a New Zealand citizen ... one of them is that you intend to continue living in NZ.

If you express another intention, or put that into effect, your IRRV stays valid but an application for NZ citizenship can be refused.

dfjordan

I don't live in NZ but have family there. I can't comment on how life is there but I have lived in various parts of the world and would suggest you think very carefully about going back to the UK as many times, people in your situation take what seems to be the easy route when things get tough and think that life back home will be better but they tend to only remember the good things. What happens when you move abroad is that you change but your old friends/family back home don't. You go back with a different outlook on life and it's more often than not that you find you don't fit in how you think you will. It's not good to move kids around once they get to around 12 and I've known a lot of expats that have had major problems with their kids when returning " home" at a later stage. For your 10 year old, I imagine "home" to him is NZ. It's not easy anywhere to become part of the local scene and personally I think it's harder in the Uk than most other places. Ask yourself why it is that life will be so much better back in England, as there don't seem to be too many people there that would agree with you. As others have said, you have time yet if you are planning to stay for 2 years more anyway, so give it all you've got and don't think it will be easy to chop and change between countries. As others have said in this forum, be careful as you could find it difficult to explain why it was that soon after getting your NZ citizenship you decided to shoot off to the Uk, then maybe one or 2 years later decide to reside once again in NZ. Immigration people don't like that kind of thing. Good luck!

JAJ

Not true. Once you are a NZ citizen you can move as you please.