Cover letter help after ITA

Old Jan 13th 2014, 6:58 am
  #1  
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Default Cover letter help after ITA

Hello
I received ITA 15 days ago and my consultant recommend me to start applying for job. Right now I am looking for good cover letter which intimate that I have applied for immigration process and received ITA and looking for a job offer will speed my process

see the example below and please advice any improvement


I am writing to express my interest to apply for CAD Draftsman in your organisation. I believed that my experience and expertise in the field of engineering matches your criteria and requirements.


I am currently waiting for my Work to Residence visa result and I am optimistic to receive in a month period. In connection with this, I am now seeking for a possible interview arrangement or employment offer to prospective company or employer in New Zealand.

For a brief background of my qualification, I obtained a Level 6 Diploma in Civil Engineering issued by New Zealand Qualification Authority (NZQA) for my education and has 10+ years proven track record and technical expertise in civil/structural engineering from a reputable consulting and construction firm. I also have strong communication skills and works well in a team-led environment.


Please find attached CV for your review and consideration. Thank you for your time and I appreciate for your reply.
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Old Jan 13th 2014, 8:13 am
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Default Re: Cover letter help after ITA

Hi momin.jaweed

My guess is that English is not your first language, so I will try to help you out a little, until someone more knowledgeable comes along.

I was told many years ago that you should never state 'I am writing' as this is obvious. So perhaps,

'I would like to express my interest in applying for a position as a CAD Draftsman within your organisation. I am confident both my experience and my expertise, in the field of engineering, match your criteria and requirements.'

Based on your information above, it is not a 'Work to Residence visa' you have applied for, but a residence visa? There are some other language errors 'optimistic to receive in a month' should be 'optimistic I will receive this within a month', 'seeking for' should just be 'seeking', 'employment offer to' should br 'employment offer from a', 'qualification' should be 'qualifications', 'has 10+' should be 'have over ten'.

HTH
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Old Jan 13th 2014, 6:31 pm
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Default Re: Cover letter help after ITA

Hi,
Please take note of rossojo's post above. Do you know anyone that can proofread your letter and CV before they get sent out? You do need to alter it so it reads in a more natural way to a native English speaker. I'm not trying to denigrate you (after all I understand what you're writing!) but it needs smoothing out when you're looking for a job.

Another point is that you've just received your ITA. It generally takes much longer than a month to get an answer on whether you'll get a visa, it is quicker if you have a job offer in place. Rossojo i has mentioned the incorrect visa name in your letter.
'I have applied for residency in NZ under the Skilled Migrant Category and am expecting to hear the outcome from this very soon' Maybe?

For a brief background of my qualification, I obtained a Level 6 Diploma in Civil Engineering issued by New Zealand Qualification Authority (NZQA) for my education and has 10+ years proven track record and technical expertise in civil/structural engineering from a reputable consulting and construction firm. I also have strong communication skills and works well in a team-led environment.
I hold a level 6 Diploma in Civil Engineering issued by NZQA and have over ten years of technical expertise in civil/structural engineering from (name company if well known in your field) ( if not well known then name the company and add the bit about reputable consulting and construction firm).
I have strong communication skills and work well in a team led environment.

I have used NZQA etc to save on typing but write this and numbers in full.
Please find attached CV for your review and consideration. Thank you for your time and I appreciate for your reply.
I have attached a CV which outlines my skills in more detail.
Thank you for your time and I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Maybe expand a bit on your reasons for moving to NZ if not already there as well and your aspirations for the future.
I would get someone else to check this and not just rely on my interpretation!!
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Old Jan 15th 2014, 11:23 am
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Default Re: Cover letter help after ITA

Originally Posted by Persephone View Post
Hi,
Please take note of rossojo's post above. Do you know anyone that can proofread your letter and CV before they get sent out? You do need to alter it so it reads in a more natural way to a native English speaker. I'm not trying to denigrate you (after all I understand what you're writing!) but it needs smoothing out when you're looking for a job.

Another point is that you've just received your ITA. It generally takes much longer than a month to get an answer on whether you'll get a visa, it is quicker if you have a job offer in place. Rossojo i has mentioned the incorrect visa name in your letter.
'I have applied for residency in NZ under the Skilled Migrant Category and am expecting to hear the outcome from this very soon' Maybe?


I hold a level 6 Diploma in Civil Engineering issued by NZQA and have over ten years of technical expertise in civil/structural engineering from (name company if well known in your field) ( if not well known then name the company and add the bit about reputable consulting and construction firm).
I have strong communication skills and work well in a team led environment.

I have used NZQA etc to save on typing but write this and numbers in full.
I have attached a CV which outlines my skills in more detail.
Thank you for your time and I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Maybe expand a bit on your reasons for moving to NZ if not already there as well and your aspirations for the future.
I would get someone else to check this and not just rely on my interpretation!!
Hello
Thanks for reply. I have edited the Cover letter.Please advice any improvement. Thanks


.......


This letter is to express my interest in discussing the Senior Programmer Analyst position posted on the Company's website. After reading the job description, I am convinced that my strong technical experience and education will make me an ideal candidate for this position.

I have applied for residency in New Zealand under the Skilled Migrant Category and received Invitation to Apply (ITA) in ___________. I am expecting to hear the outcome from this very soon. As you are aware of that Information Technology professionals are in skill shortage list and government has identified employers need to recruit people from overseas to help meet demand for your skills.

For a brief background of my qualifications, I hold a Level “9” Master degree in Management Information System as well as Level “7” Bachelor degree in Computer Science issued by New Zealand Qualifications Authority. In addition, I am Microsoft Certified technology specialist.

In my current position as Senior Software Developer / Programmer at --------. Where I am responsible for full life cycle development of next-generation software, from requirement gathering to analysis, design, coding, testing, maintaining, documentation and implementation.
Over the past eight years I have been in the industries including financial, multi-national software development firms and Food and Dairy Product. I have enjoyed working on cutting-edge technologies and have delivered well architect, scalable and highly profitable solutions often in very aggressive timelines.

I have a consultative approach coupled with a “can-do” attitude. Moreover, my sound communication skills and understanding of industry best practices offer a productive and contributory presence to both small and large team environments. I also excel in merging business and user needs into high-quality, cost-effective design solutions while keeping within budgetary constraints.

My Technical Skill includes
C#.Net, ASP.NET, JQuery
Web Services, SOAP , JSON
Oracle , MS- SQL Server , My SQL
IIS, Apache

My experience developing user-friendly solutions on time and on budget would enable me to step into a software developer role at your company and hit the ground running. You may reach me at ___________. I look forward to speaking with you.

Please refer to the accompanying CV for more detailed information regarding my abilities and skill sets.

Yours Faithfully
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Old Jan 15th 2014, 12:38 pm
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Default Re: Cover letter help after ITA

Much better and a nice length now! I'll correct a few bits:

This letter is to express my interest in applying for the Senior Programmer Analyst position posted on your company's website. I am convinced that my strong technical experience and education will make me an ideal candidate for this position.

I have applied for residency in New Zealand under the Skilled Migrant Category and I am expecting to hear the outcome from this very soon. You will be aware that Information Technology professionals are in shortage and the Government has identified that employers need to recruit people from overseas to help meet demand.
I would probably remove the bit about the ITA. Many employers will not know what it means

A brief background of my qualifications: I hold a Level “9” Masters degree in Management Information Systems as well as a Level “7” Bachelors degree in Computer Science issued by the New Zealand Qualifications Authority. In addition, I am a Microsoft Certified technology specialist.

My current position is as a Senior Software Developer / Programmer at --------. I am responsible for full life-cycle development of next-generation software: from requirement gathering to analysis, design, coding, testing, maintaining, documentation and implementation.
Over the past eight years I have worked within various industries including financial, multi-national software development firms and food and dairy. I have enjoyed working on cutting-edge technologies and have delivered well architected, scalable and highly profitable solutions often in very short and pressurised timelines.
I'm not sure what you mean by scalable, it is not a word that sounds right unless it is word often used in your industry! Maybe easily implemented, user friendly. I would also remove aggressive as it doesn't sound right though I'm not totally convinced by my replacement either

I have a consultative approach coupled with a “can-do” attitude. Moreover, my sound communication skills and understanding of industry best practice offer a productive and contributory presence to both small and large team environments. I also excel at merging business and user needs into high-quality, cost-effective design solutions while keeping within budgetary constraints.

My experience indeveloping user-friendly solutions on time and on budget would enable me to step into a software developer role at your company and hit the ground running. You may reach me at ___________. I look forward to speaking with you.

Please refer to the accompanying CV for more detailed information regarding my abilities and skill sets.

Yours faithfully.
Use Yours faithfully if the letter is addressed Dear sir/madam. Use Yours sincerely if you address it Dear Mr xxxxxx or use a name

Some corrections are done in blue, some aren't! Main things I'd change are some of the punctuation, remove some capital letters and I've altered some of the sentences and words slightly! Nothing major even though that sounds like I've completely rewritten it! Happy for others to change my suggestions as well.

Oh and keep the technical skills bit in, I just haven't copied and pasted it into he above.

Last edited by Persephone; Jan 15th 2014 at 12:42 pm.
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Old Jan 15th 2014, 1:05 pm
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Default Re: Cover letter help after ITA

Another thing, but you will have to judge the advisability of this for yourself. If this was me applying for a job in my profession (which is very different!), I would add a bit about why I wanted to come to NZ.
My work is usually within a small business and being a small profession, everyone knows or knows of each other. As a result, things are often less formal and more friendly than they would be in a large corporation. Adding a bit about 'why nz' adds 'character'. I wrote one sentence just to give a bit of background.

As I said, it does depend on the norms for your industry and may or may not be advisable.
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Old Jan 16th 2014, 6:23 am
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Default Re: Cover letter help after ITA

Originally Posted by Persephone View Post
Another thing, but you will have to judge the advisability of this for yourself. If this was me applying for a job in my profession (which is very different!), I would add a bit about why I wanted to come to NZ.
My work is usually within a small business and being a small profession, everyone knows or knows of each other. As a result, things are often less formal and more friendly than they would be in a large corporation. Adding a bit about 'why nz' adds 'character'. I wrote one sentence just to give a bit of background.

As I said, it does depend on the norms for your industry and may or may not be advisable.
Hello
Thank you very much for you time and help. Points you have mentioned are excellent. I appreciate you effort

Again Thank you
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Old Jan 16th 2014, 12:00 pm
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Default Re: Cover letter help after ITA

Originally Posted by Persephone View Post
Another thing, but you will have to judge the advisability of this for yourself. If this was me applying for a job in my profession (which is very different!), I would add a bit about why I wanted to come to NZ.
My work is usually within a small business and being a small profession, everyone knows or knows of each other. As a result, things are often less formal and more friendly than they would be in a large corporation. Adding a bit about 'why nz' adds 'character'. I wrote one sentence just to give a bit of background.

As I said, it does depend on the norms for your industry and may or may not be advisable.
Hello
I have added some of the points about 'Why NZ' . please advice

The reasons that motivated me to consider migration to New Zealand are Quality of Life, Career Growth, Health Care,
Education, Family- friendly people, Safe & Secure, Relaxed life style, Clean & beautiful and Peaceful Region.


please advice
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Old Jan 16th 2014, 8:24 pm
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Default Re: Cover letter help after ITA

Too many reasons! I would stick with those like a better quality of life, career growth, a more relaxed lifestyle, beautiful scenery.
Family if you do have family in NZ

The reasons I am motivated to immigrate to NZ include.......I'd only use 2 or 3 of the above. I also have a *name relative* already living in NZ (if that is the case)
if you get an interview you'd have to be able to expand on that eg how will it further your career, what you like about the scenery etc

As I said it does depend on what is normal in your profession whether you include this or not!

When you mention things like healthcare, safe and secure and peaceful, these aren't specific to NZ and may come across as just wanting to get away from where you are and it not mattering too much where! Just my reading of it and imagining how I would see it if I read that covering letter from an applicant. Less is more!

Also nouns do not use capital letters unless at the start of a sentence or a proper noun. The only capitals in your 'why nz' sentence should be on New Zealand and The at the start
I sound really picky, it's why my friends often use me as a proof reader

Last edited by Persephone; Jan 16th 2014 at 8:27 pm.
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Old Jan 18th 2014, 4:36 am
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Default Re: Cover letter help after ITA

Originally Posted by Persephone View Post
Too many reasons! I would stick with those like a better quality of life, career growth, a more relaxed lifestyle, beautiful scenery.
Family if you do have family in NZ

The reasons I am motivated to immigrate to NZ include.......I'd only use 2 or 3 of the above. I also have a *name relative* already living in NZ (if that is the case)
if you get an interview you'd have to be able to expand on that eg how will it further your career, what you like about the scenery etc

As I said it does depend on what is normal in your profession whether you include this or not!

When you mention things like healthcare, safe and secure and peaceful, these aren't specific to NZ and may come across as just wanting to get away from where you are and it not mattering too much where! Just my reading of it and imagining how I would see it if I read that covering letter from an applicant. Less is more!

Also nouns do not use capital letters unless at the start of a sentence or a proper noun. The only capitals in your 'why nz' sentence should be on New Zealand and The at the start
I sound really picky, it's why my friends often use me as a proof reader
Hello
Thanks a lot for your time and advice.

Thank you
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