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In search of a testicle, ….or…. what to expect from medicals in Switzerland

In search of a testicle, ….or…. what to expect from medicals in Switzerland

Old Jul 8th 2005, 7:20 am
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Talking In search of a testicle, ….or…. what to expect from medicals in Switzerland

You need to have balls to immigrate,

Sure I was aware of that, however not prepared for the extensive poking and prodding, which the (female, around 60, with long bony, presumably cold, hands :scared: ) DMP performed on our 3 year old son resulting in the diagnosis: “I can’t find his left one�. So in typical Germanic/Swiss thoroughness a more extensive high tech search was ordered to track down the little runaway via ultrasound through a specialist next Monday. (will report here when they find him)

And then there was our 5-year old asking me “is the Dr. going to play with yours too??� I desperately tried to keep a straight face as my mood was somewhere between amusement and panic :scared: . “I hope not" I answered, and thank god my prayer was heard.

Back to the facts:

We had our medical in Zurich with Dr. Marianne Bigler-Anit. We paid 470 SF Swiss Francs (1 Franc is about 1 $CAD) per adult, 250 SF per child, 40 SF for mailing and 100 SF for communicating special instructions to an external specialised testicle hunter. We arrived at 9am. We were instructed to bring:

• The Medical forms,
• 2 photos per adult,
• 1 photo for the child,
• vaccination records (although they never looked at them),
• A health report on the child from the family Dr.
• Our passports
• And the money in cash and only cash (that’s Switzerland for you)

We filled out a long questionnaire (are you crazy, pregnant, alcoholic, terminally ill or already dead,….) and then tests were performed :

• Hearing and repeating, whispered words from the other side of the room (in Swiss/german dialect which no normal human could understand in the first place),
• Eye-tests, reading numbers, or pictures for the kid (like for driving licence) Our 3-year olds eyesight improved remarkably once I started promising him a gummi-bear for every one he got right.
• Chest X-ray (not the child)
• Urin (not the child)
• Blood (not the child)
• Blood-pressure and pulse
• Stethoscope listening to heart and breathing
• A stern look, presumably to check if all bones, are in the right spot and shape
• Some poking and prodding to check inner organs (but thank god no cough test for me )

All in all it was actually quite simple with most of the time spent in the waiting room talking to a nice family (also 2 kids) that was doing their medicals for Australia. We were out at 12 noon and went for lunch together. On Monday Lady mhhp will be taking the little one to the testicle hunt and the “hunter� will fax his report to the DMP, which promised to send the papers to Vienna on Tuesday and then we are back into the waiting game.

Not for long though I hope, based on NSPs reference data August will be our month.

Scary to think there actually may be a change in e-client, I have become so used to staring at the in Process, we have started pr….. that I will probably go into shock when it suddenly reads medicals received.

Here`s to Berlin, my favourite CIC-station

Last edited by mhhp; Jul 8th 2005 at 7:33 am.
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Old Jul 8th 2005, 7:36 am
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Default Re: In search of a testicle, ….or…. what to expect from medicals in Switzerland

A fairly decent medicals mhhp; and u cant argue on that!!!!
Best of luck for the "hunt" and keep us posted mate....
Dont worry about the e-client; it will "finally" change....
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Old Jul 8th 2005, 9:48 am
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Default Re: In search of a testicle, ….or…. what to expect from medicals in Switzerland

Ah so ...! Der berühmte Doktor Marianne ....known for extensive poking and prodding in other people's private parts.
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Old Jul 8th 2005, 9:54 am
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Default Re: In search of a testicle, ….or…. what to expect from medicals in Switzerland

Originally Posted by mhhp
• And the money in cash and only cash (that’s Switzerland for you)
We also had to pay by cash and only cash (and that was UK!!)

Was a slight problem as father forgot to get said cash from bank, and it was more than we could get out of the ATM!!!! We managed eventually to rob a bank!
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Old Jul 8th 2005, 3:57 pm
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Arrow Re: In search of a testicle, ….or…. what to expect from medicals in Switzerland

I only had to pay cash and only cash for the Chinese doctor in NYC.
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Old Jul 8th 2005, 5:23 pm
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Default Re: In search of a testicle, ….or…. what to expect from medicals in Switzerland

I also had to pay cash in Los Angeles for the American doctor.
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Old Jul 8th 2005, 6:37 pm
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Default Re: In search of a testicle, ….or…. what to expect from medicals in Switzerland

Cash also in Milan, Doktor Urbani performed the visit on Mr. Cryout.

No ball-touching was involved (thank God!)


Cry
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Old Jul 9th 2005, 9:25 am
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Default Re: In search of a testicle, ….or…. what to expect from medicals in Switzerland

Originally Posted by mhhp
.... And the money in cash and only cash (that’s Switzerland for you)
As far as I know, all females/males who dress-up as 'doctors/nurses' demand cash!!
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Old Jul 10th 2005, 3:14 pm
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Default Re: In search of a testicle, ….or…. what to expect from medicals in Switzerland

I paid by credit card for medical including ball-touching in US :scared:
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Old Jul 11th 2005, 5:30 am
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Default Re: In search of a testicle, ….or…. what to expect from medicals in Switzerland

Originally Posted by SKHAN
I paid by credit card for medical including ball-touching in US :scared:
Cough test was only for the baby in Switzerland,

How old are you?
If mor than 5 years, are you sure that was a real Dr.

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Old Jul 11th 2005, 5:48 am
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Default Re: In search of a testicle, ….or…. what to expect from medicals in Switzerland

BTW: the high tech chase was successfull. They found the little runaway. It was still up in his groin and had not dropped yet. A small ambulant surgery will be necessary to take it down. The ultrasound revieled that it was OK and normal in shape, structure and size,..., which seems to have been the main concern of the DMP. The specialist will fax the report to the DMP and then we hope she will send everything to Vienna and not require us to wait until after the surgery.

We got our fingers XXXXXXXXXXXXXXed :scared: :scared: :scared: :scared: :scared:
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Old Jul 19th 2005, 7:00 am
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Default Re: In search of a testicle, ….or…. what to expect from medicals in Switzerland

For those of you who may have been wondering, all is well with our little one, we went to a specialist and surprise surprise, everything was just where it was supposed t be. The specialist said that sometimes kids have what he called "bouncing testicles" which move up when they lay down. The DMP should have examined him standing so it was nothing but a big scare :scared: :scared: . The DMP sent his report out on Friday so I am expecting something in 2 weeks

When you hear an earth shattering cry of joy,.......you will know that we GOT IT,

sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooon
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Old Jul 19th 2005, 1:48 pm
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Default Re: In search of a testicle, ….or…. what to expect from medicals in Switzerland

Glad to hear that mhhp!!!!
hope this wait will end soon mate
Best of luck for the rest of the process
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Old Jul 19th 2005, 3:12 pm
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Default Re: In search of a testicle, ….or…. what to expect from medicals in Switzerland

Originally Posted by mhhp
For those of you who may have been wondering, all is well with our little one, we went to a specialist and surprise surprise, everything was just where it was supposed t be. The specialist said that sometimes kids have what he called "bouncing testicles" which move up when they lay down. The DMP should have examined him standing so it was nothing but a big scare :scared: :scared: . The DMP sent his report out on Friday so I am expecting something in 2 weeks

When you hear an earth shattering cry of joy,.......you will know that we GOT IT,

sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooon
Goodluck...hope it's much sooner (or soonest) than you thought..
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Old Aug 2nd 2005, 9:20 am
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Default Re: In search of a testicle, ….or…. what to expect from medicals in Switzerland

Just to keep you all up to date:

On Friday I received a letter from the Embassy in Vienna, they wer asking for additional info, for one they wanted an additional report on the testicle, whatever the DMP wrotr seems not to have been conclusive so they were asking a statement from the specialist.

In addition they were asking a bood creatinine value for me due to suspected Hypertention, heck did I know what that ment. It turned out that when the DMP had taken my bood preassure the first measurment was 155/80 (I was scared to death she might do a cough test :scared: :scared: ) That measurement did not make sense so they had done it again and got the usual 130/80 which I have always had in previous test. Unfortunately the DMP must have reported both values, so vienna asked for the Creatinine, which I did yesterday with a result of 72 (anything below 96 is normal). All the reports are on their way to the DMP now whom will send everything to Vienna this week I hope and then I will be back in the race.

I would say the whole medical chaos cost us about a 2 week delay.

Moral of the story is: make sure you got balls, and dont worry about the cough test
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