Landed, but not staying.

Old Jun 23rd 2011, 12:38 am
  #1  
So near yet so far.......
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Unhappy Landed, but not staying.

Hi All,

Landed at Halifax airport last week. The whole process was simple enough, though the customs lady made a real issue about not having a delivery address for the Goods to Follow list yet. She was like a dog with a bone until her supervisor stepped in!! Anyway, it really was easy, just a few extra signatures and stamps and we were off on our way.

That was the easy bit.

The whole point of our trip was to do a second recce before moving over for good, see if we could buy a house, book the kids into schools etc etc. If we could get jobs that would be good but didn't really expect that before we moved over (thanks for your advice nikkidreaming) What we didn't expect was the feeling that we both had almost immediately, totally out of the blue - it isn't for us. Things seem to have changed for us over the last couple of years and NS just doesn't have the same homely pull as it did before.

I cannot articulate just how disappointing that feeling is - to love some aspects of the place so much but not want to uproot and move here 100%. I thought it was just nerves because of the practicalities, jobs, the rubbish exchange rate at the moment, settling in, but I know now at the end of our trip that it's not that. It's not even the car crash we had here this week, which was quite traumatic!!

Anyway, I know we have a couple of years to decide for certain and we are going to use that time to have a break from all of this immigration stuff for a while and try to clear our heads.

Thank you for all your help and online support over the last few months - best wishes and huge luck to all of you still going through the process.

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Old Jun 23rd 2011, 7:54 am
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Default Re: Landed, but not staying.

Originally Posted by Rubie View Post
...Things seem to have changed for us over the last couple of years and NS just doesn't have the same homely pull as it did before.
...
I guess it's a shame the dream has faded a little. How about you scout around NS, or another area of Canada, to see if that suits you better? I/we've moved around and worked in many countries (UK, Germany, Singapore, Vietnam, Philippines, Malaysia, Thailand, Portugal - where we are now) over the years and each country presents various positive or negative feelings over the others.

For example,
When we initially arrived in the Algarve, Portugal, (from Thailand) my wife (Scottish) wanted to go back to Thailand to familiar territory/ex-pat friends of all nationalities, but we toughed it out and after a year or so started building up a good network of friends here and now know the Algarve quite well.

With this Canada PR project we now see it a little like tearing ourselves away from here to move to Victoria but, in the longer term, know that it's the right thing to do and that we will eventually settle in just as we have done in other countries. The Algarve may look good on paper, but behind the scenes the Portuguese ship is sinking! (Note to self, if we are the last to leave Portugal turn out the lights)
The UK is no longer deemed by us as a home country as we have been away for many years (I last lived there in 1991) and are truly ex-pats, so the UK is off our radar. When we are away and think of going 'home' we think of Portugal.
Vic, BC, where my father lives, looks like it'll do us nicely. For sure it'll feel different when we break our ties here, but we'll stick with it and make it work. Eventually, with the passage of time, it'll naturally feel like home.... the other feelings of what/who we left behind will fade with the passage of time.

When we shift we'll experience the usual feelings of: Strange area, different driving styles, don't know where anything is, don't know many people, slightly different culture, different climate etc. will likely being going through our minds.. all of which can easily be countered when you think you have just come from: Familiar area, they drive in the correct side if the road, we know where everything is, we know many people, very familiar culture, familiar climate etc.

There may be similar thoughts going on with your current feelings right now. Time will sort all that out. It'll may be harder to tough it out, but it sure is damn easy to simply cut and run. Something you might surely regret later in life.

PS. If you do bail... Please send us your PRs.. we'll surely use them

All the best
James Mc
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Old Jun 23rd 2011, 8:20 am
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Default Re: Landed, but not staying.

Originally Posted by Rubie View Post
Hi All,

Landed at Halifax airport last week. The whole process was simple enough, though the customs lady made a real issue about not having a delivery address for the Goods to Follow list yet. She was like a dog with a bone until her supervisor stepped in!! Anyway, it really was easy, just a few extra signatures and stamps and we were off on our way.

That was the easy bit.

The whole point of our trip was to do a second recce before moving over for good, see if we could buy a house, book the kids into schools etc etc. If we could get jobs that would be good but didn't really expect that before we moved over (thanks for your advice nikkidreaming) What we didn't expect was the feeling that we both had almost immediately, totally out of the blue - it isn't for us. Things seem to have changed for us over the last couple of years and NS just doesn't have the same homely pull as it did before.

I cannot articulate just how disappointing that feeling is - to love some aspects of the place so much but not want to uproot and move here 100%. I thought it was just nerves because of the practicalities, jobs, the rubbish exchange rate at the moment, settling in, but I know now at the end of our trip that it's not that. It's not even the car crash we had here this week, which was quite traumatic!!

Anyway, I know we have a couple of years to decide for certain and we are going to use that time to have a break from all of this immigration stuff for a while and try to clear our heads.

Thank you for all your help and online support over the last few months - best wishes and huge luck to all of you still going through the process.

Hi Big Congrats on your Landing.
I think your making the right decision taking some time out to fully decide what you will do longer term. All the best what ever route you take
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Old Jun 23rd 2011, 9:45 am
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Default Re: Landed, but not staying.

Congratulations on landing, but sorry it wasn't the recce trip you hoped
As someone following behind you (hopefully!) I'd love to hear a bit more about what seemed different - the rose-tinted glasses thing is always a worry with me! I appreciate you said you couldn't really put your finger on it, but if anything solidifies in your mind I'd love to know.

Did you only go to the area you want to move to? On other trips, did you travel about? Did it seem more 'mundane' than before? Were there aspects you just didn't love as much as before?

I hope for you it was just a phase of the end of the process - such a struggle to get there so when you did it was a bit underwhelming? But it really would be great, and useful, to hear what you thought of the place this time round....

for you
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Old Jun 23rd 2011, 11:02 am
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Default Re: Landed, but not staying.

Hi Rubie

Sorry to hear about the accident, hope you are all okay

I am sorry that it hasnt lived up to what you were expecting, like others have suggested, take some time out and perhaps reconsider areas that may tick your boxes.

I think when this process takes so long, your lives can change so much from when you first apply to the reality of being able to actually move, that the move may not be the right decision, hats off that you are acknowledging this and not going to make a jump and a mistake.

Good luck whatever you decide and keep in touch
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Old Jun 23rd 2011, 11:31 am
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Default Re: Landed, but not staying.

Best of luck with whatever you decide to do. It's a good idea to take a step back for a while so that you can make a decision that is right for you all.

I must admit when we landed last month there was a great sense of anti-climax about it. After all the waiting and struggles we had to actually get the visas, the landing was all over and done with in minutes and we all thought "is that it?" However, we had a good week of being tourists, seeing friends and doing some of the necessary admin we had to do while there. We are back in the UK now to sell the house, finalise plans etc and at least now we know we are "in" we can relax about it all.
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Old Jun 23rd 2011, 9:01 pm
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Default Re: Landed, but not staying.

Aaw, Rubie, it really upset me to read that after everything you have been through NS may not be for you As someone currently going through everything you have over the past few months, I can only imagine what a disappointment and anti-climax it must have been. Still, as everyone else has said, you have landed and are now PRs of Canada so perhaps a few months break definitely is just what you need. Big hugs and I hope things work out to be exactly the way you want them to be
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Old Jun 24th 2011, 1:50 pm
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Default Re: Landed, but not staying.

Theres a danger that people get so wrapped up in the practical stuff you have to do to get the visa that once it comes there is a sudden vacuum in your life created by not having all that going on. All of a sudden your life is off hold and the big decisions loom large.

Take some time, go through the pros /cons, discuss it with people. Maybe visit some other areas (Its a huge country). No need to rush anything, but maybe over time things will click into place.

Good Luck!
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Old Jun 24th 2011, 2:02 pm
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Default Re: Landed, but not staying.

Originally Posted by nikki dreaming View Post
I think when this process takes so long, your lives can change so much from when you first apply to the reality of being able to actually move, that the move may not be the right decision, hats off that you are acknowledging this and not going to make a jump and a mistake.
This.

No harm in saying it's not for us. Well done for seeing that. Good luck with wherever life takes you next - even if it's geographically no-where new just now.
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Old Jun 24th 2011, 2:06 pm
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Default Re: Landed, but not staying.

Good luck in whatever you decide to do. As others have said, you have PR now and you have time to decide
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Old Jun 24th 2011, 10:30 pm
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Default Re: Landed, but not staying.

Hi Ruby,
hope everything works out for you guys ,the main thing now is that you have the luxury of being able to make that choice now.

Arty & Family
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Old Jun 25th 2011, 10:12 am
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Default Re: Landed, but not staying.

I guess it's like the day after any big event, this is a major life change and you need a bit of time to assimilate the impact and decide if you really want it. Good luck whatever you decide.
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Old Jun 26th 2011, 10:44 pm
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Default Re: Landed, but not staying.

Hello All,

thanks for all your support and kind words, just a few points of interest after a few days of major thinking...

James mc - i hear ya! The bailing out thing because it's easier to stay put has definitely been ringing in my ears lately. The thing is, this was never about the UK being a sh*t hole and us wanting to get out of here pdq. It was more about wanting to know if our lives could be better somewhere else. Our lives here are ok: reasonable jobs (although redundancy looms), chunk of equity, kids doing ok, living in reasonably nice area of the UK etc etc.

I'm just not sure that when it comes down to it, I can justify spending a whole load more money to move over, convincing my kids that it is the right thing to do (they are teens with their own opinions bless 'em), chucking in a reasonable career here to start at the bottom elsewhere, on the off chance that life may be better in NS. I just can't see at the moment that the benefits justify the risks or costs - maybe if my kids were much younger I wouldn't feel so guilt ridden about the whole thing or feeling pressured about timings.


Nikki dreaming - yes we are all ok after the accident thank you. We were 'rear ended' pardon the term - just glad we weren't at fault and everyone was ok.

Izzi - the issue that really hit us was this: Now you know you can live here, are you willing to lay everything you have built up on the line (house equity, career, kids education and happiness etc etc) on a gamble that you are not quite sure about yourself? I suddenly felt that I would be risking it all on a selfish desire to see what living somewhere else would be like.

Other things have also changed for us over the last couple of years that have possibly shifted our outlook somewhat which is why we have decided to give it a bit of time. I am just glad we went out for a second recce as we went out with a different perspective without the rose tinted spectacles, which also made us look at the UK in a different light when we arrived home! The weird thing is, we really did go out there with the intention of organising homes and schools etc. Good luck with your journey - I hope I haven't put you off!

Oh - and we have a new canadian gps car thingey going cheap if anyone is interested!
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Old Jun 26th 2011, 11:48 pm
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Default Re: Landed, but not staying.

Rubie thanks very much for your post . No, you haven't put us off! But it's always good to read other people's views and experiences. I can totally appreciate where you're coming from, and why things might have changed. At least you have a few years to think about it, and the choice to do what you want!

For us, we have no kids, no mortgage, not living in a great area, and aren't attached to our careers (at the moment anyway!). So it doesn't feel like too much to risk to see what life would be like out there. We've both spent time abroad before, and have made 2 trips to NS as well. I can imagine in your situation it is quite a different thought process; for us it seems like this is our chance to try it, so if they let us we'll try.

I hope you're happy in whatever you decide to do; this whole process is one big roller coaster isn't it!
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Old Jun 27th 2011, 7:17 pm
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Default Re: Landed, but not staying.

Hi Rubie,

Sorry to hear NS didn't have the same pull for you as before, seems such a shame after all the hard work to get there. I do understand how you feel regarding timing and kids education, we are quickly running out of time in this respect as eldest starts GCSE's in September!

I must admit that on our recce in May I no longer had rose tinted glasses regarding NS but still feel that it is the right thing for us. It's a beautiful place and I don't want to spend the rest of my life saying what if, so if we ever get our visas/TWP we'll give it a shot.

I hope that you'll be happy whatever you decide to do and wherever you end up.

Take care,

Tracy
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