Best Places to Live in Canada and Why
Jun 13th 2002, 2:21 am
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Best Places to Live in Canada and Why
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA WEED! You can throw a rock and hit three
Starbucks locations. The local hero is a pot-smoking snowboarder.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA The Premier is a fat, wife-beating alcoholic with a
grade 4 education. You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of. You
can attempt to murder your rich oil tycoon husband and get away with it.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN You never run out of wheat. Cruise control takes
on a whole new meaning. Your province is really easy to draw. It takes you two weeks
to walk to your neighbor's house.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA The only province to violently rebel against the
federal government. You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your
mood. Because of your license plate, you are still "friendly" even when you cut
someone off.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO You live in the center of the universe. Your
grandparents sold booze to the States during Prohibition. Your $400,000 home in
Toronto is actually a dump.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC The only province to ever kidnap federal politicians.
Racism is socially acceptable. Your hockey team is made up entirely of dirty French
guys. NON-smokers are the outcasts.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK You're poor, but not as poor as the Newfies. You
have French people, but they don't want to kill you. Everybody has a Grandfather who
runs a lighthouse. Just as charming as Maine, but with more unemployed fishermen.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA The only place in North America to get bombed in
the war... by a moron who set a munitions ship on fire. Your province is shaped like
male genitalia. If someone asks if you're a Newfie, you are allowed to kick their
heads in. The province that produced Rita MacNeil, the world's largest land mammal.
You are the reason Anne Murray makes money. You can pretend you have Scottish
heritage as an excuse to wear a kilt. Even though it smells like dead sea animals,
Halifax is considered Canada's most beautiful city.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE ON PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND Even though more people live on Vancouver
Island, you still got the jumbo bridge.You can walk across the province in half an
hour. You were probably once an extra on "Road to Avonlea". Tourists arrive, see the
"Anne of Green Gables" house, then promptly leave. You can confuse ships by turning
your porch lights on and off at night.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND If Quebec separates, you will float off to sea.
You understand the meaning of Great Big Sea's lyrics. You are credited with many
great inventions, like the solar-powered flashlight and the screen door for
submarines.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA WEED! You can throw a rock and hit three
Starbucks locations. The local hero is a pot-smoking snowboarder.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA The Premier is a fat, wife-beating alcoholic with a
grade 4 education. You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of. You
can attempt to murder your rich oil tycoon husband and get away with it.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN You never run out of wheat. Cruise control takes
on a whole new meaning. Your province is really easy to draw. It takes you two weeks
to walk to your neighbor's house.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA The only province to violently rebel against the
federal government. You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your
mood. Because of your license plate, you are still "friendly" even when you cut
someone off.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO You live in the center of the universe. Your
grandparents sold booze to the States during Prohibition. Your $400,000 home in
Toronto is actually a dump.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC The only province to ever kidnap federal politicians.
Racism is socially acceptable. Your hockey team is made up entirely of dirty French
guys. NON-smokers are the outcasts.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK You're poor, but not as poor as the Newfies. You
have French people, but they don't want to kill you. Everybody has a Grandfather who
runs a lighthouse. Just as charming as Maine, but with more unemployed fishermen.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA The only place in North America to get bombed in
the war... by a moron who set a munitions ship on fire. Your province is shaped like
male genitalia. If someone asks if you're a Newfie, you are allowed to kick their
heads in. The province that produced Rita MacNeil, the world's largest land mammal.
You are the reason Anne Murray makes money. You can pretend you have Scottish
heritage as an excuse to wear a kilt. Even though it smells like dead sea animals,
Halifax is considered Canada's most beautiful city.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE ON PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND Even though more people live on Vancouver
Island, you still got the jumbo bridge.You can walk across the province in half an
hour. You were probably once an extra on "Road to Avonlea". Tourists arrive, see the
"Anne of Green Gables" house, then promptly leave. You can confuse ships by turning
your porch lights on and off at night.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND If Quebec separates, you will float off to sea.
You understand the meaning of Great Big Sea's lyrics. You are credited with many
great inventions, like the solar-powered flashlight and the screen door for
submarines.
