Elaine

Hi,

I've have wrote, replied and been following posts on Conjugal
Sponsorship and it seems to me, that Canadian Immigration does not
approve many people applying under this category, given some of the
couples circumstances, especially ours. So, my bf and I have been
talking about Mr. Miller suggesting for us to just get "married" where
he states, we should have NO problem in acquiring him a P.R status when
applying under the Spouse Category.

My question is...since my bf and I have been in an "online" relationship
for over one year, in which we have now met in person back in September
of 2003 where he stayed with me for 5 weeks, and have now been separated
since that time...He is due to come back up here to Canada in February,
and we have been talking about getting married on Valentine's Day. If
he and I did decide to "get married" when he comes back up here in
February, and in which case we would want to apply for P.R status under
the Spouse Category, will we be ruining our chances to be accepted,
being that Canadian Immigration may think that we only got married out
of convenience and in bad faith, only to apply for P.R for him?

Also, with that, does Canadian Immigration take into consideration how
we got married, ie...a huge ceremony, family member's present etc...or
do they really care? We can only afford to have a civil ceremony with a
couple of friends present as witnesses, with no reception, but we do
have plans to have a "bigger" ceremony with family members and a
reception, when we have more money saved to have one.

Thanks to all who reply...

Http://Www.Iamnotamerican.Com

in a recent article, elaine ([email protected]) said:

    > Also, with that, does Canadian Immigration take into consideration how
    > we got married, ie...a huge ceremony, family member's present etc...or
    > do they really care? We can only afford to have a civil ceremony with a
    > couple of friends present as witnesses, with no reception, but we do
    > have plans to have a "bigger" ceremony with family members and a
    > reception, when we have more money saved to have one.

Disclaimer: It's politically correct these days to tell the truth, but
I never was politically correct...so I say it as I see it. Here 'goes....

When you're married, your married, but as any relationship expert (and
psychologist) would ask...why the rush. You've spent a total of 35 days
with each other (5 weeks @ 7 days/wk), and now you want to get married?
While I'm sure you'll say you're totally in love and that you're
'different', marrying someone you've known for 35 days is statistically
bound to come crashing and burning. And you will be responsible for this
person for a number of years, because you sponsored them.

You're looking at this through glasses that are VERY rose-coloured right
now, but you must sit back and look at it realistically. You refer to a
marriage in BAD FAITH yourself. If you know it, then why do it? If you're
truly in love, then why not actually develop the relationship, rather jump
into something you will most likely regret later?

You will be required to establish your relationship and 35 days of
'together' time is going to raise a number of major red flags, and your own
mentality that is a bad faith wedding will cause the whole immigration thing
to collapse, because immigration will pick up on that...and you won't be
able to sponsor him at all.

Oh...one more thing. These 'friends' who will be coming to the civil
ceremony? I'd dump them as friends if I were in your situation, because
they're not serving their role as friends too well. If they were true
friends, they would be telling you to give your head a shake and saying what
I'm saying, because you're getting yourself into a situation you will
statistically and legally regret later. All because you're 'in love'.

I wish you good luck in your relationship, but entering what is, in your
own words, a bad-faith marriage after just 35 days of together time is
ridiculous. If you do that, I can only pray that you get caught and the
immigration dept throws the book at you.

If you are truly in love (as opposed to infatuation or hormones), you
certainly should be able to wait longer and make SURE you're prepared to
marry. I know I did.

Good luck, and may the truth be with you.


--
Say "I am not American" in TWELVE languages.
The original "I am not American" T-shirts - as seen on CNN
Only at http://www.iamnotamerican.com .

View 16 NEW designs and a full range of merchandise.
http://www.iamnotamerican.com

Remove uppercase letters from Email address to reply.

Mm

I agree with the general meaning of your response. But since their online relationship has been going on for over a year, I think a
certain fraction of that should count as the equivalent of additional "being together" time. Just like a potential employer would
count part of 5 years experience selling insurance as being useful selling and people skills experience when the job being applied
for is selling X-ray machines and other hospital equipment for which the applicant only has a short time of actual selling
experience. So I would say they have the equivalent of more than the physical 5 weeks with each other for relationship-building so
far.

Mm

P.S. I actually got engaged on my second visit of several weeks to my online girlfriend in a foreign country. It was the 4th visit
that we got married. I had one more visit during the visa waiting period. She'll be here in about a week.

Elaine

nice...well...good luck to you as well...and it was rather obvious that you
didn't see the fact that we've been in a committed long distance relationship
for OVER ONE.... YESSSS ONE YEAR NOW...we were together in person for a meager
35 days, as you put it....so...granted, the majority of our relationship has
been online and over the telephone, the parallels of being involved in a long
distance "online" telephone relationships as compared to having one in person...
the only difference, is not being able to smell or touch the other person...the
commitment is still the same, if not, even more of the effort has to be put in,
because when your involved in an "online" long distance relationship, the TRUST,
SECURITY and the COMMUNICATION portion of the relationship has to be even more
so solid and fluid. Also, might I add, the amount of time spent together online
or on the telephone, is still the same as it would be in person. We tell
eachother about our day, We play games online with one another, we surf the web,
hell we've even watched movies together, and ate dinner together, listening via
the telephone, trying to decipher what was said between gulping and munching. Do
you spend time with your spouse, in person 24/7? I bet you don't, not unless
your a control freak.

oh might I add, both of our families and friends know about our relationship?
Gosh my bf even spent Thanksgiving here, with my entire family...oh wowee! And
I'm going down to be with his family in May for my bf's birthday, and they all
see it as genuine and bona fide...Christ, every situation is different, be it
you've only known someone for a week and get married and spend a life time
together...or you've known someone for years upon years, only to get a divorce
down the road....who are u to judge...I know I never would.

Also...might I add, I am soooooo not looking at this through rose coloured
glasses...believe you me...If my bf and I did live in the same country...we
probably would of been married by now. Because of the potential consequences
with Immigration, we haven't decided if we want to do this, yet...We've only
talked about it, and we are discussing it, and putting out our questions on the
subject. I have thought this out thoroughly, and so has my partner, and with
caution, we are not morons. All relationships are work in progress...be it in
person or online or through a bloody astral plane, and it's up to the two people
involved to make it work, regardless of their relationship boundaries and
circumstances.

Also..in regards to your "BAD FAITH" comments was mearly quoting a web site I
read on the subject of people who DO marry in bad faith situations for
immigration purpose, my bf and I surely to hell won't be, but we are taking into
consideration that there could be a chance that immigration canada could
possibly see it that way. (might I add he's a bona fide, born and raised
W.A.S.P American Citizen, not to sound as a racist, but it is a fact that
Immigration Canada would look more poorly on a situation if the person being
sponsored was from a country that doesn't have the abundance in wealth that the
U.S does and needs and/or wants to get out of their country due to what ever the
situation that is making them want to or have to leave... that is taken from a
statement, from an actually Canadian Immigration Consultant when I asked these
questions)

Unfortunately, in my bf and I's case, we do live on the same continent, but
there is a border barrier. All we want to do is start our life journey
together, like normal couples do, we've waited long enough. So, due to the
fact that we can't "legally" reside together for a long period of time here as
just bf and gf like normal couples do in and then decided to get married after
living together for a long period of time, which in that case we could consider
claiming ourselves as common law even with out getting married, we have been
thinking to get married sooner than the later, because this long distance
relationship is expensive and hurts to be away from one another for long periods
of time. I think with the amount of EVIDENCE we have been collecting over the
last year, with telephone bills, text messaging, emails, photographs, written
testimony from family and friends stating we are committed to one another, Joint
names on the Apartment lease, hydro bill, health benefits...etc..why am I
explaining myself to this joker here? Dude, you just don't even know half of
what my bf and I have been through as a couple for you to even put out your
energy out here to make a "political statistical statement" and reply back.


"http://www.iamnotamerican.com" wrote:

    > in a recent article, elaine ([email protected]) said:
    > > Also, with that, does Canadian Immigration take into consideration how
    > > we got married, ie...a huge ceremony, family member's present etc...or
    > > do they really care? We can only afford to have a civil ceremony with a
    > > couple of friends present as witnesses, with no reception, but we do
    > > have plans to have a "bigger" ceremony with family members and a
    > > reception, when we have more money saved to have one.
    > Disclaimer: It's politically correct these days to tell the truth, but
    > I never was politically correct...so I say it as I see it. Here 'goes....
    > When you're married, your married, but as any relationship expert (and
    > psychologist) would ask...why the rush. You've spent a total of 35 days
    > with each other (5 weeks @ 7 days/wk), and now you want to get married?
    > While I'm sure you'll say you're totally in love and that you're
    > 'different', marrying someone you've known for 35 days is statistically
    > bound to come crashing and burning. And you will be responsible for this
    > person for a number of years, because you sponsored them.
    > You're looking at this through glasses that are VERY rose-coloured right
    > now, but you must sit back and look at it realistically. You refer to a
    > marriage in BAD FAITH yourself. If you know it, then why do it? If you're
    > truly in love, then why not actually develop the relationship, rather jump
    > into something you will most likely regret later?
    > You will be required to establish your relationship and 35 days of
    > 'together' time is going to raise a number of major red flags, and your own
    > mentality that is a bad faith wedding will cause the whole immigration thing
    > to collapse, because immigration will pick up on that...and you won't be
    > able to sponsor him at all.
    > Oh...one more thing. These 'friends' who will be coming to the civil
    > ceremony? I'd dump them as friends if I were in your situation, because
    > they're not serving their role as friends too well. If they were true
    > friends, they would be telling you to give your head a shake and saying what
    > I'm saying, because you're getting yourself into a situation you will
    > statistically and legally regret later. All because you're 'in love'.
    > I wish you good luck in your relationship, but entering what is, in your
    > own words, a bad-faith marriage after just 35 days of together time is
    > ridiculous. If you do that, I can only pray that you get caught and the
    > immigration dept throws the book at you.
    > If you are truly in love (as opposed to infatuation or hormones), you
    > certainly should be able to wait longer and make SURE you're prepared to
    > marry. I know I did.
    > Good luck, and may the truth be with you.
    > --
    > Say "I am not American" in TWELVE languages.
    > The original "I am not American" T-shirts - as seen on CNN
    > Only at http://www.iamnotamerican.com .
    > View 16 NEW designs and a full range of merchandise.
    > http://www.iamnotamerican.com
    > Remove uppercase letters from Email address to reply.

Elaine

Thank you :-)

MM wrote:

    > I agree with the general meaning of your response. But since their online relationship has been going on for over a year, I think a
    > certain fraction of that should count as the equivalent of additional "being together" time. Just like a potential employer would
    > count part of 5 years experience selling insurance as being useful selling and people skills experience when the job being applied
    > for is selling X-ray machines and other hospital equipment for which the applicant only has a short time of actual selling
    > experience. So I would say they have the equivalent of more than the physical 5 weeks with each other for relationship-building so
    > far.

Elaine

oh cool! good luck to you both! :-) sighs...wow...someone who totally understands the parrells to being involved in an online, long
term relationship...lots of effort aren't they? *blinks*

MM wrote:

    > P.S. I actually got engaged on my second visit of several weeks to my online girlfriend in a foreign country. It was the 4th visit
    > that we got married. I had one more visit during the visa waiting period. She'll be here in about a week.

Renee

Elaine, I just wanted to wish you all the best in your relationship and
eventual marriage. I also met my husband online originally, and I can tell
you that what we had long distance meant just as much as the weeks we could
spend together. Neither of us were looking to make a romantic connection on
the internet - if you've read some of my past posts, you know that we met on
the message board of our favorite hockey team and developed a friendship
that became romantic.

We "met" in August 2001 and developed a friendship that turned romantic in
March 2002. I came to Calgary for the first time in July 2002, and I moved
to Calgary in February 2003. There were five visits in between July and
February. We were married on July 5, 2003....the one-year anniversary of
the day we met in person for the first time.

You are two adults who don't need to justify your relationship to anyone
else. You know what you mean to each other. Certainly there are internet
romances that have gone bad, but there also genuine commitments that last.
I applaud you for considering how Canada Immigration will view your
relationship. After all, it would be one thing if we could schedule an
interview with a visa officer to present our cases, but we are left with
one-dimensional communication on paper to present our most treasured
relationship. We know where our hearts and intentions lie, and we want to
make sure that the visa officer understands that we have only good
intentions to share our lives with someone who happens to live across the
border.

What you say about the trust and communication in a long distance
relationship is true. Just because we weren't in the same room together
sometimes, doesn't mean that we could be separated in spirit. True love
waits for all the red tape to catch up. I'm in the middle of an inland
spouse case, and every time I get mad about the ever-growing processing
times, or lonely when I'm home alone during the day (I don't have legal
status to work, and I'm trying to preserve as much of my savings as possible
so I don't spend extra money), I think of how I once had to treasure a ten
day visit when that was all we could manage with our work/vacation pay
schedules. You do what you need to. Of course, the phone company wishes we
were still apart, but that's too bad!

My PR visa will come through, and someday not that far away, you will be
together with your love as well. Sometimes your soulmate isn't in your
backyard, but he's worth going through some extra effort for.

I hope everything goes smoothly with your case once you file, and that you
have a lifetime of happiness. I understand how the other poster who doesn't
know you outside of the newsgroup might be skeptical of an online romance,
but I also know how special my own marriage is to me. Yours sounds to be
the same for you. Best wishes!

Renee

--
Inland Spouse Timeline so far (U.S. Citizen):
19 Feb 2003: Moved to Calgary from U.S. on 6 month TRV
12 May 2003: Did medicals in Calgary
20 June 2003: Applied for TRV extension
5 July 2003: Wedding Date
17 July 2003: CIC received inland spouse PR application
15 Aug 2003: Received 6 month TRV extension
20 Aug 2003: CIC request for work history dates (which were sent with
application)
21 Aug 2003: CIC received work history reply by overnight post
4 Sept 2003: CIC e-Client finally shows "in process"


"elaine" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
    > nice...well...good luck to you as well...and it was rather obvious that
you
    > didn't see the fact that we've been in a committed long distance
relationship
    > for OVER ONE.... YESSSS ONE YEAR NOW...we were together in person for a
meager
    > 35 days, as you put it....so...granted, the majority of our relationship
has
    > been online and over the telephone, the parallels of being involved in a
long
    > distance "online" telephone relationships as compared to having one in
person...
    > the only difference, is not being able to smell or touch the other
person...the
    > commitment is still the same, if not, even more of the effort has to be
put in,
    > because when your involved in an "online" long distance relationship, the
TRUST,
    > SECURITY and the COMMUNICATION portion of the relationship has to be even
more
    > so solid and fluid. Also, might I add, the amount of time spent together
online
    > or on the telephone, is still the same as it would be in person. We tell
    > eachother about our day, We play games online with one another, we surf
the web,
    > hell we've even watched movies together, and ate dinner together,
listening via
    > the telephone, trying to decipher what was said between gulping and
munching. Do
    > you spend time with your spouse, in person 24/7? I bet you don't, not
unless
    > your a control freak.
    > oh might I add, both of our families and friends know about our
relationship?
    > Gosh my bf even spent Thanksgiving here, with my entire family...oh wowee!
And
    > I'm going down to be with his family in May for my bf's birthday, and they
all
    > see it as genuine and bona fide...Christ, every situation is different, be
it
    > you've only known someone for a week and get married and spend a life time
    > together...or you've known someone for years upon years, only to get a
divorce
    > down the road....who are u to judge...I know I never would.
    > Also...might I add, I am soooooo not looking at this through rose coloured
    > glasses...believe you me...If my bf and I did live in the same
country...we
    > probably would of been married by now. Because of the potential
consequences
    > with Immigration, we haven't decided if we want to do this, yet...We've
only
    > talked about it, and we are discussing it, and putting out our questions
on the
    > subject. I have thought this out thoroughly, and so has my partner, and
with
    > caution, we are not morons. All relationships are work in progress...be
it in
    > person or online or through a bloody astral plane, and it's up to the two
people
    > involved to make it work, regardless of their relationship boundaries and
    > circumstances.
    > Also..in regards to your "BAD FAITH" comments was mearly quoting a web
site I
    > read on the subject of people who DO marry in bad faith situations for
    > immigration purpose, my bf and I surely to hell won't be, but we are
taking into
    > consideration that there could be a chance that immigration canada could
    > possibly see it that way. (might I add he's a bona fide, born and raised
    > W.A.S.P American Citizen, not to sound as a racist, but it is a fact that
    > Immigration Canada would look more poorly on a situation if the person
being
    > sponsored was from a country that doesn't have the abundance in wealth
that the
    > U.S does and needs and/or wants to get out of their country due to what
ever the
    > situation that is making them want to or have to leave... that is taken
from a
    > statement, from an actually Canadian Immigration Consultant when I asked
these
    > questions)
    > Unfortunately, in my bf and I's case, we do live on the same continent,
but
    > there is a border barrier. All we want to do is start our life journey
    > together, like normal couples do, we've waited long enough. So, due to
the
    > fact that we can't "legally" reside together for a long period of time
here as
    > just bf and gf like normal couples do in and then decided to get married
after
    > living together for a long period of time, which in that case we could
consider
    > claiming ourselves as common law even with out getting married, we have
been
    > thinking to get married sooner than the later, because this long distance
    > relationship is expensive and hurts to be away from one another for long
periods
    > of time. I think with the amount of EVIDENCE we have been collecting
over the
    > last year, with telephone bills, text messaging, emails, photographs,
written
    > testimony from family and friends stating we are committed to one another,
Joint
    > names on the Apartment lease, hydro bill, health benefits...etc..why am I
    > explaining myself to this joker here? Dude, you just don't even know half
of
    > what my bf and I have been through as a couple for you to even put out
your
    > energy out here to make a "political statistical statement" and reply
back.
    > "http://www.iamnotamerican.com" wrote:
    > > in a recent article, elaine ([email protected]) said:
    > >
    > > > Also, with that, does Canadian Immigration take into consideration how
    > > > we got married, ie...a huge ceremony, family member's present etc...or
    > > > do they really care? We can only afford to have a civil ceremony with
a
    > > > couple of friends present as witnesses, with no reception, but we do
    > > > have plans to have a "bigger" ceremony with family members and a
    > > > reception, when we have more money saved to have one.
    > >
    > > Disclaimer: It's politically correct these days to tell the truth,
but
    > > I never was politically correct...so I say it as I see it. Here
'goes....
    > >
    > > When you're married, your married, but as any relationship expert
(and
    > > psychologist) would ask...why the rush. You've spent a total of 35 days
    > > with each other (5 weeks @ 7 days/wk), and now you want to get married?
    > > While I'm sure you'll say you're totally in love and that you're
    > > 'different', marrying someone you've known for 35 days is statistically
    > > bound to come crashing and burning. And you will be responsible for
this
    > > person for a number of years, because you sponsored them.
    > >
    > > You're looking at this through glasses that are VERY rose-coloured
right
    > > now, but you must sit back and look at it realistically. You refer to a
    > > marriage in BAD FAITH yourself. If you know it, then why do it? If
you're
    > > truly in love, then why not actually develop the relationship, rather
jump
    > > into something you will most likely regret later?
    > >
    > > You will be required to establish your relationship and 35 days of
    > > 'together' time is going to raise a number of major red flags, and your
own
    > > mentality that is a bad faith wedding will cause the whole immigration
thing
    > > to collapse, because immigration will pick up on that...and you won't be
    > > able to sponsor him at all.
    > >
    > > Oh...one more thing. These 'friends' who will be coming to the
civil
    > > ceremony? I'd dump them as friends if I were in your situation, because
    > > they're not serving their role as friends too well. If they were true
    > > friends, they would be telling you to give your head a shake and saying
what
    > > I'm saying, because you're getting yourself into a situation you will
    > > statistically and legally regret later. All because you're 'in love'.
    > >
    > > I wish you good luck in your relationship, but entering what is, in
your
    > > own words, a bad-faith marriage after just 35 days of together time is
    > > ridiculous. If you do that, I can only pray that you get caught and the
    > > immigration dept throws the book at you.
    > >
    > > If you are truly in love (as opposed to infatuation or hormones),
you
    > > certainly should be able to wait longer and make SURE you're prepared to
    > > marry. I know I did.
    > >
    > > Good luck, and may the truth be with you.
    > >
    > > --
    > > Say "I am not American" in TWELVE languages.
    > > The original "I am not American" T-shirts - as seen on CNN
    > > Only at http://www.iamnotamerican.com .
    > >
    > > View 16 NEW designs and a full range of merchandise.
    > > http://www.iamnotamerican.com
    > >
    > > Remove uppercase letters from Email address to reply.

Elaine

Ooh...not that this would matter to you..cause you see my bf and I's
relationship as a joke already, and so don't understand what's involved in a
long distance "online" telephone YEAR LONG committed relationship to one
another...on October 18th, 2003... my bf and I did what only people on line can
do to make a commitment to oneanother, we got "cyber married" or "digi married"
as we call it....we went into a wiccan chat room....(ooooh evil people...yessss
witchcraft blah blah...that's one of our common interests...shall I name them
all of them off for you, so you can determine if indeed our relationship is
genuine, continuing, and bona fide?) We went into a wiccan chat room and in
front of all the other "chatters" whom we knew of in the room...a wiccan priest
and a priestess married us...we did this, just to prove to eachother, our
commitment to one another while maintaining our relationship ONLINE, it's been
one year later...hum..de dum...we've met now....hum de dum...we are still
together...hum de dum...next level...LEGALLY MARRY IN REAL LIFE! Oh
also...before you go and shoot holes in the Wicca Theology, or religion or
following what ever someone wants to call it...it's LEGAL in Ontario Canada to
be married, by a LEGAL and RECOGNIZED Wiccan Priest and/or Priestess....Look it
up, it's a real and legally recognized wedding ceremony...That's what we
initially want to do, in a REAL WEDDING CERMONY...it's called a "Handfasting"
they did it in the movie "Bravehart" if your wondering what it's like...it is
the same as exchanging rings...if not more so...because under Wicca Law...the
bond with a handfasting is 3 fold if broken...meaning, if one of the partners
betrays the other, they will get back, bad luck so to speak, 3 fold...that's
more than once..think about it. here's a link to help you out and understand
it.....http://www.medievalscotland.org/history/handfasting.shtml




"http://www.iamnotamerican.com" wrote:

    > in a recent article, elaine ([email protected]) said:
    > > Also, with that, does Canadian Immigration take into consideration how
    > > we got married, ie...a huge ceremony, family member's present etc...or
    > > do they really care? We can only afford to have a civil ceremony with a
    > > couple of friends present as witnesses, with no reception, but we do
    > > have plans to have a "bigger" ceremony with family members and a
    > > reception, when we have more money saved to have one.
    > Disclaimer: It's politically correct these days to tell the truth, but
    > I never was politically correct...so I say it as I see it. Here 'goes....
    > When you're married, your married, but as any relationship expert (and
    > psychologist) would ask...why the rush. You've spent a total of 35 days
    > with each other (5 weeks @ 7 days/wk), and now you want to get married?
    > While I'm sure you'll say you're totally in love and that you're
    > 'different', marrying someone you've known for 35 days is statistically
    > bound to come crashing and burning. And you will be responsible for this
    > person for a number of years, because you sponsored them.
    > You're looking at this through glasses that are VERY rose-coloured right
    > now, but you must sit back and look at it realistically. You refer to a
    > marriage in BAD FAITH yourself. If you know it, then why do it? If you're
    > truly in love, then why not actually develop the relationship, rather jump
    > into something you will most likely regret later?
    > You will be required to establish your relationship and 35 days of
    > 'together' time is going to raise a number of major red flags, and your own
    > mentality that is a bad faith wedding will cause the whole immigration thing
    > to collapse, because immigration will pick up on that...and you won't be
    > able to sponsor him at all.
    > Oh...one more thing. These 'friends' who will be coming to the civil
    > ceremony? I'd dump them as friends if I were in your situation, because
    > they're not serving their role as friends too well. If they were true
    > friends, they would be telling you to give your head a shake and saying what
    > I'm saying, because you're getting yourself into a situation you will
    > statistically and legally regret later. All because you're 'in love'.
    > I wish you good luck in your relationship, but entering what is, in your
    > own words, a bad-faith marriage after just 35 days of together time is
    > ridiculous. If you do that, I can only pray that you get caught and the
    > immigration dept throws the book at you.
    > If you are truly in love (as opposed to infatuation or hormones), you
    > certainly should be able to wait longer and make SURE you're prepared to
    > marry. I know I did.
    > Good luck, and may the truth be with you.
    > --
    > Say "I am not American" in TWELVE languages.
    > The original "I am not American" T-shirts - as seen on CNN
    > Only at http://www.iamnotamerican.com .
    > View 16 NEW designs and a full range of merchandise.
    > http://www.iamnotamerican.com
    > Remove uppercase letters from Email address to reply.

Me

Elaine,

I am almost through with my PR application as well.
I met my hubby online in 2000, we have been together since 2001 in Canada
mostly...
been married for a year. We are very happy.

I wanna tell you a story tho.
My parents met on a bus in Fla a long time ago, they wrote letters for a
couple of months and my dad visited her once when he got leave from the
Army. They continued to write and the next time he came back, they got
married after knowing eachother for a total of 3 months and meeting in
person 3 times.
Different time and technology...but they were married for 37 years until my
mom passed away 7 yrs ago from cancer. Just goes to show that how long you
know eachother before marriage means nothing.
What is important is understanding what commitment means.

GL2U Elaine,

Me

"elaine" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
    > oh cool! good luck to you both! :-) sighs...wow...someone who totally
understands the parrells to being involved in an online, long
    > term relationship...lots of effort aren't they? *blinks*
    > MM wrote:
    > > P.S. I actually got engaged on my second visit of several weeks to my
online girlfriend in a foreign country. It was the 4th visit
    > > that we got married. I had one more visit during the visa waiting
period. She'll be here in about a week.

Elaine

Thank you Renee...your reply was lovely and I too hope the best for you in your
marriage as well...:-)

Renee wrote:

    > Elaine, I just wanted to wish you all the best in your relationship and
    > eventual marriage. I also met my husband online originally, and I can tell
    > you that what we had long distance meant just as much as the weeks we could
    > spend together. Neither of us were looking to make a romantic connection on
    > the internet - if you've read some of my past posts, you know that we met on
    > the message board of our favorite hockey team and developed a friendship
    > that became romantic.
    > We "met" in August 2001 and developed a friendship that turned romantic in
    > March 2002. I came to Calgary for the first time in July 2002, and I moved
    > to Calgary in February 2003. There were five visits in between July and
    > February. We were married on July 5, 2003....the one-year anniversary of
    > the day we met in person for the first time.
    > You are two adults who don't need to justify your relationship to anyone
    > else. You know what you mean to each other. Certainly there are internet
    > romances that have gone bad, but there also genuine commitments that last.
    > I applaud you for considering how Canada Immigration will view your
    > relationship. After all, it would be one thing if we could schedule an
    > interview with a visa officer to present our cases, but we are left with
    > one-dimensional communication on paper to present our most treasured
    > relationship. We know where our hearts and intentions lie, and we want to
    > make sure that the visa officer understands that we have only good
    > intentions to share our lives with someone who happens to live across the
    > border.
    > What you say about the trust and communication in a long distance
    > relationship is true. Just because we weren't in the same room together
    > sometimes, doesn't mean that we could be separated in spirit. True love
    > waits for all the red tape to catch up. I'm in the middle of an inland
    > spouse case, and every time I get mad about the ever-growing processing
    > times, or lonely when I'm home alone during the day (I don't have legal
    > status to work, and I'm trying to preserve as much of my savings as possible
    > so I don't spend extra money), I think of how I once had to treasure a ten
    > day visit when that was all we could manage with our work/vacation pay
    > schedules. You do what you need to. Of course, the phone company wishes we
    > were still apart, but that's too bad!
    > My PR visa will come through, and someday not that far away, you will be
    > together with your love as well. Sometimes your soulmate isn't in your
    > backyard, but he's worth going through some extra effort for.
    > I hope everything goes smoothly with your case once you file, and that you
    > have a lifetime of happiness. I understand how the other poster who doesn't
    > know you outside of the newsgroup might be skeptical of an online romance,
    > but I also know how special my own marriage is to me. Yours sounds to be
    > the same for you. Best wishes!
    > Renee
    > --
    > Inland Spouse Timeline so far (U.S. Citizen):
    > 19 Feb 2003: Moved to Calgary from U.S. on 6 month TRV
    > 12 May 2003: Did medicals in Calgary
    > 20 June 2003: Applied for TRV extension
    > 5 July 2003: Wedding Date
    > 17 July 2003: CIC received inland spouse PR application
    > 15 Aug 2003: Received 6 month TRV extension
    > 20 Aug 2003: CIC request for work history dates (which were sent with
    > application)
    > 21 Aug 2003: CIC received work history reply by overnight post
    > 4 Sept 2003: CIC e-Client finally shows "in process"
    > "elaine" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    > news:[email protected]...
    > > nice...well...good luck to you as well...and it was rather obvious that
    > you
    > > didn't see the fact that we've been in a committed long distance
    > relationship
    > > for OVER ONE.... YESSSS ONE YEAR NOW...we were together in person for a
    > meager
    > > 35 days, as you put it....so...granted, the majority of our relationship
    > has
    > > been online and over the telephone, the parallels of being involved in a
    > long
    > > distance "online" telephone relationships as compared to having one in
    > person...
    > > the only difference, is not being able to smell or touch the other
    > person...the
    > > commitment is still the same, if not, even more of the effort has to be
    > put in,
    > > because when your involved in an "online" long distance relationship, the
    > TRUST,
    > > SECURITY and the COMMUNICATION portion of the relationship has to be even
    > more
    > > so solid and fluid. Also, might I add, the amount of time spent together
    > online
    > > or on the telephone, is still the same as it would be in person. We tell
    > > eachother about our day, We play games online with one another, we surf
    > the web,
    > > hell we've even watched movies together, and ate dinner together,
    > listening via
    > > the telephone, trying to decipher what was said between gulping and
    > munching. Do
    > > you spend time with your spouse, in person 24/7? I bet you don't, not
    > unless
    > > your a control freak.
    > >
    > > oh might I add, both of our families and friends know about our
    > relationship?
    > > Gosh my bf even spent Thanksgiving here, with my entire family...oh wowee!
    > And
    > > I'm going down to be with his family in May for my bf's birthday, and they
    > all
    > > see it as genuine and bona fide...Christ, every situation is different, be
    > it
    > > you've only known someone for a week and get married and spend a life time
    > > together...or you've known someone for years upon years, only to get a
    > divorce
    > > down the road....who are u to judge...I know I never would.
    > >
    > > Also...might I add, I am soooooo not looking at this through rose coloured
    > > glasses...believe you me...If my bf and I did live in the same
    > country...we
    > > probably would of been married by now. Because of the potential
    > consequences
    > > with Immigration, we haven't decided if we want to do this, yet...We've
    > only
    > > talked about it, and we are discussing it, and putting out our questions
    > on the
    > > subject. I have thought this out thoroughly, and so has my partner, and
    > with
    > > caution, we are not morons. All relationships are work in progress...be
    > it in
    > > person or online or through a bloody astral plane, and it's up to the two
    > people
    > > involved to make it work, regardless of their relationship boundaries and
    > > circumstances.
    > >
    > > Also..in regards to your "BAD FAITH" comments was mearly quoting a web
    > site I
    > > read on the subject of people who DO marry in bad faith situations for
    > > immigration purpose, my bf and I surely to hell won't be, but we are
    > taking into
    > > consideration that there could be a chance that immigration canada could
    > > possibly see it that way. (might I add he's a bona fide, born and raised
    > > W.A.S.P American Citizen, not to sound as a racist, but it is a fact that
    > > Immigration Canada would look more poorly on a situation if the person
    > being
    > > sponsored was from a country that doesn't have the abundance in wealth
    > that the
    > > U.S does and needs and/or wants to get out of their country due to what
    > ever the
    > > situation that is making them want to or have to leave... that is taken
    > from a
    > > statement, from an actually Canadian Immigration Consultant when I asked
    > these
    > > questions)
    > >
    > > Unfortunately, in my bf and I's case, we do live on the same continent,
    > but
    > > there is a border barrier. All we want to do is start our life journey
    > > together, like normal couples do, we've waited long enough. So, due to
    > the
    > > fact that we can't "legally" reside together for a long period of time
    > here as
    > > just bf and gf like normal couples do in and then decided to get married
    > after
    > > living together for a long period of time, which in that case we could
    > consider
    > > claiming ourselves as common law even with out getting married, we have
    > been
    > > thinking to get married sooner than the later, because this long distance
    > > relationship is expensive and hurts to be away from one another for long
    > periods
    > > of time. I think with the amount of EVIDENCE we have been collecting
    > over the
    > > last year, with telephone bills, text messaging, emails, photographs,
    > written
    > > testimony from family and friends stating we are committed to one another,
    > Joint
    > > names on the Apartment lease, hydro bill, health benefits...etc..why am I
    > > explaining myself to this joker here? Dude, you just don't even know half
    > of
    > > what my bf and I have been through as a couple for you to even put out
    > your
    > > energy out here to make a "political statistical statement" and reply
    > back.
    > >
    > >
    > > "http://www.iamnotamerican.com" wrote:
    > >
    > > > in a recent article, elaine ([email protected]) said:
    > > >
    > > > > Also, with that, does Canadian Immigration take into consideration how
    > > > > we got married, ie...a huge ceremony, family member's present etc...or
    > > > > do they really care? We can only afford to have a civil ceremony with
    > a
    > > > > couple of friends present as witnesses, with no reception, but we do
    > > > > have plans to have a "bigger" ceremony with family members and a
    > > > > reception, when we have more money saved to have one.
    > > >
    > > > Disclaimer: It's politically correct these days to tell the truth,
    > but
    > > > I never was politically correct...so I say it as I see it. Here
    > 'goes....
    > > >
    > > > When you're married, your married, but as any relationship expert
    > (and
    > > > psychologist) would ask...why the rush. You've spent a total of 35 days
    > > > with each other (5 weeks @ 7 days/wk), and now you want to get married?
    > > > While I'm sure you'll say you're totally in love and that you're
    > > > 'different', marrying someone you've known for 35 days is statistically
    > > > bound to come crashing and burning. And you will be responsible for
    > this
    > > > person for a number of years, because you sponsored them.
    > > >
    > > > You're looking at this through glasses that are VERY rose-coloured
    > right
    > > > now, but you must sit back and look at it realistically. You refer to a
    > > > marriage in BAD FAITH yourself. If you know it, then why do it? If
    > you're
    > > > truly in love, then why not actually develop the relationship, rather
    > jump
    > > > into something you will most likely regret later?
    > > >
    > > > You will be required to establish your relationship and 35 days of
    > > > 'together' time is going to raise a number of major red flags, and your
    > own
    > > > mentality that is a bad faith wedding will cause the whole immigration
    > thing
    > > > to collapse, because immigration will pick up on that...and you won't be
    > > > able to sponsor him at all.
    > > >
    > > > Oh...one more thing. These 'friends' who will be coming to the
    > civil
    > > > ceremony? I'd dump them as friends if I were in your situation, because
    > > > they're not serving their role as friends too well. If they were true
    > > > friends, they would be telling you to give your head a shake and saying
    > what
    > > > I'm saying, because you're getting yourself into a situation you will
    > > > statistically and legally regret later. All because you're 'in love'.
    > > >
    > > > I wish you good luck in your relationship, but entering what is, in
    > your
    > > > own words, a bad-faith marriage after just 35 days of together time is
    > > > ridiculous. If you do that, I can only pray that you get caught and the
    > > > immigration dept throws the book at you.
    > > >
    > > > If you are truly in love (as opposed to infatuation or hormones),
    > you
    > > > certainly should be able to wait longer and make SURE you're prepared to
    > > > marry. I know I did.
    > > >
    > > > Good luck, and may the truth be with you.
    > > >
    > > > --
    > > > Say "I am not American" in TWELVE languages.
    > > > The original "I am not American" T-shirts - as seen on CNN
    > > > Only at http://www.iamnotamerican.com .
    > > >
    > > > View 16 NEW designs and a full range of merchandise.
    > > > http://www.iamnotamerican.com
    > > >
    > > > Remove uppercase letters from Email address to reply.
    > >

Elaine

typo error...that was supposed to be October 18th 2002 *blinks* my bad..lol!

elaine wrote:

    > Ooh...not that this would matter to you..cause you see my bf and I's
    > relationship as a joke already, and so don't understand what's involved in a
    > long distance "online" telephone YEAR LONG committed relationship to one
    > another...on October 18th, 2003... my bf and I did what only people on line can
    > do to make a commitment to oneanother, we got "cyber married" or "digi married"
    > as we call it....we went into a wiccan chat room....(ooooh evil people...yessss
    > witchcraft blah blah...that's one of our common interests...shall I name them
    > all of them off for you, so you can determine if indeed our relationship is
    > genuine, continuing, and bona fide?) We went into a wiccan chat room and in
    > front of all the other "chatters" whom we knew of in the room...a wiccan priest
    > and a priestess married us...we did this, just to prove to eachother, our
    > commitment to one another while maintaining our relationship ONLINE, it's been
    > one year later...hum..de dum...we've met now....hum de dum...we are still
    > together...hum de dum...next level...LEGALLY MARRY IN REAL LIFE! Oh
    > also...before you go and shoot holes in the Wicca Theology, or religion or
    > following what ever someone wants to call it...it's LEGAL in Ontario Canada to
    > be married, by a LEGAL and RECOGNIZED Wiccan Priest and/or Priestess....Look it
    > up, it's a real and legally recognized wedding ceremony...That's what we
    > initially want to do, in a REAL WEDDING CERMONY...it's called a "Handfasting"
    > they did it in the movie "Bravehart" if your wondering what it's like...it is
    > the same as exchanging rings...if not more so...because under Wicca Law...the
    > bond with a handfasting is 3 fold if broken...meaning, if one of the partners
    > betrays the other, they will get back, bad luck so to speak, 3 fold...that's
    > more than once..think about it. here's a link to help you out and understand
    > it.....http://www.medievalscotland.org/history/handfasting.shtml
    > "http://www.iamnotamerican.com" wrote:
    > > in a recent article, elaine ([email protected]) said:
    > >
    > > > Also, with that, does Canadian Immigration take into consideration how
    > > > we got married, ie...a huge ceremony, family member's present etc...or
    > > > do they really care? We can only afford to have a civil ceremony with a
    > > > couple of friends present as witnesses, with no reception, but we do
    > > > have plans to have a "bigger" ceremony with family members and a
    > > > reception, when we have more money saved to have one.
    > >
    > > Disclaimer: It's politically correct these days to tell the truth, but
    > > I never was politically correct...so I say it as I see it. Here 'goes....
    > >
    > > When you're married, your married, but as any relationship expert (and
    > > psychologist) would ask...why the rush. You've spent a total of 35 days
    > > with each other (5 weeks @ 7 days/wk), and now you want to get married?
    > > While I'm sure you'll say you're totally in love and that you're
    > > 'different', marrying someone you've known for 35 days is statistically
    > > bound to come crashing and burning. And you will be responsible for this
    > > person for a number of years, because you sponsored them.
    > >
    > > You're looking at this through glasses that are VERY rose-coloured right
    > > now, but you must sit back and look at it realistically. You refer to a
    > > marriage in BAD FAITH yourself. If you know it, then why do it? If you're
    > > truly in love, then why not actually develop the relationship, rather jump
    > > into something you will most likely regret later?
    > >
    > > You will be required to establish your relationship and 35 days of
    > > 'together' time is going to raise a number of major red flags, and your own
    > > mentality that is a bad faith wedding will cause the whole immigration thing
    > > to collapse, because immigration will pick up on that...and you won't be
    > > able to sponsor him at all.
    > >
    > > Oh...one more thing. These 'friends' who will be coming to the civil
    > > ceremony? I'd dump them as friends if I were in your situation, because
    > > they're not serving their role as friends too well. If they were true
    > > friends, they would be telling you to give your head a shake and saying what
    > > I'm saying, because you're getting yourself into a situation you will
    > > statistically and legally regret later. All because you're 'in love'.
    > >
    > > I wish you good luck in your relationship, but entering what is, in your
    > > own words, a bad-faith marriage after just 35 days of together time is
    > > ridiculous. If you do that, I can only pray that you get caught and the
    > > immigration dept throws the book at you.
    > >
    > > If you are truly in love (as opposed to infatuation or hormones), you
    > > certainly should be able to wait longer and make SURE you're prepared to
    > > marry. I know I did.
    > >
    > > Good luck, and may the truth be with you.
    > >
    > > --
    > > Say "I am not American" in TWELVE languages.
    > > The original "I am not American" T-shirts - as seen on CNN
    > > Only at http://www.iamnotamerican.com .
    > >
    > > View 16 NEW designs and a full range of merchandise.
    > > http://www.iamnotamerican.com
    > >
    > > Remove uppercase letters from Email address to reply.

Elaine

awwwwww...ya so goes to prove ,as with your parent's case ....what commitment
means..thanks for your reply!

me wrote:

    > Elaine,
    > I am almost through with my PR application as well.
    > I met my hubby online in 2000, we have been together since 2001 in Canada
    > mostly...
    > been married for a year. We are very happy.
    > I wanna tell you a story tho.
    > My parents met on a bus in Fla a long time ago, they wrote letters for a
    > couple of months and my dad visited her once when he got leave from the
    > Army. They continued to write and the next time he came back, they got
    > married after knowing eachother for a total of 3 months and meeting in
    > person 3 times.
    > Different time and technology...but they were married for 37 years until my
    > mom passed away 7 yrs ago from cancer. Just goes to show that how long you
    > know eachother before marriage means nothing.
    > What is important is understanding what commitment means.
    > GL2U Elaine,
    > Me
    > "elaine" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    > news:[email protected]...
    > > oh cool! good luck to you both! :-) sighs...wow...someone who totally
    > understands the parrells to being involved in an online, long
    > > term relationship...lots of effort aren't they? *blinks*
    > >
    > > MM wrote:
    > >
    > > > P.S. I actually got engaged on my second visit of several weeks to my
    > online girlfriend in a foreign country. It was the 4th visit
    > > > that we got married. I had one more visit during the visa waiting
    > period. She'll be here in about a week.
    > >

britgirl27

Hi Elaine

I met my, now husband, on the internet. He is Canadian and I am British. We had a couple of visits with each other then I asked my boss for 3 months leave from work so that we could spend some quality time together and then I decided to sell up and move to Canada which I did August last year and we got married in September of this year. I applied for my PR in July and am still waiting for a decision.

I dont think people realise that you get to know people far more when you meet online because you just talk either on the computer or on the phone, I found that I knew more about him that just meeting a guy in a bar etc because you are not watching what you say online - you just talk, talk and more talk.

I hope things go well with both of you and that you are as happy as we are.

Regards

Jan

Elaine

Thanks Jan for your reply, understanding and support...I know what you
mean, some people will never get what it takes to maintain and continue a
long distance "online" relationship, they will only understand it, if they
too have to and want to go through the process themselves, then I doubt they
would be so easily led to judge other people's relationship situations, be
them online or in person....all my best out to you and your hubby and your
happiness with being with one another...I'm so envious! Waaaaaa! lol!

Elaine :-)

britgirl27 wrote:

    > Hi Elaine
    > I met my, now husband, on the internet. He is Canadian and I am
    > British. We had a couple of visits with each other then I asked my boss
    > for 3 months leave from work so that we could spend some quality time
    > together and then I decided to sell up and move to Canada which I did
    > August last year and we got married in September of this year. I
    > applied for my PR in July and am still waiting for a decision.
    > I dont think people realise that you get to know people far more when
    > you meet online because you just talk either on the computer or on the
    > phone, I found that I knew more about him that just meeting a guy in a
    > bar etc because you are not watching what you say online - you just
    > talk, talk and more talk.
    > I hope things go well with both of you and that you are as happy
    > as we are.
    > Regards
    > Jan
    > --
    > Posted via http://britishexpats.com