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-   -   Advice needed (https://britishexpats.com/forum/germany-134/advice-needed-701983/)

Pete63 Jan 23rd 2011 4:21 pm

Advice needed
 
:unsure::confused:

Hi,new to the forum(wasn't sure where i should post this)Just wondered if anybody who has time to read my post could give me any advice.I started my adventure living abroad when i had the offer to play football in Norway in 87',and in the next 5 years my time was spent playing between there and Germany.In 93' i decided to go back to my roots in Dudley UK,where i started painting for a living.
97' i moved back to Norway to coach football part time,aiong with working for myself(painting/decorating)and today i'm still here.I now have a son,he's almost 11,haven't been together with his mother for 10 years,and that's when my problems began.5years i battled to get 50% custody of my boy,many a man would have gone home i'm sure,it took it's toll on me,wether there was a connection i don't know,but i was diagnosed with a brain tumour in 2005,operation was a success,but it's left me with headaches 24/7,but it's amazing how your body gets used to pain.Now i would like you to put yourself in my shoes,i haven't enjoyed the last 10 years,most of that time it's been a nightmare,up to today where lifes manageable due to my lad and involvment in football.It's come to the point where my boy even agrees that i should move,as he says 'dad you can always come back'.I need to start to enjoy life again,does anyone have advice or suggestions??(with my job i can move any where)Maybe someones gone through the same experiences as me.

REGARDS

Pete

PS.Hope you don't think i'm selfish.

fidobsa Jan 23rd 2011 8:51 pm

Re: Advice needed
 
Not sure how 50% custody works but I would imagine it could be quite unsettling for your son. I would have thought a more usual arrangement such as you having him on Sundays would be easier for him and might allow you to try new social activities. Do you actually need to move to another country to enjoy life? If your home in Norway now has bad associations you could certainly move but why not stay within reasonable travelling distance for seeing your son and doing the football coaching?

Pete63 Jan 23rd 2011 9:16 pm

Re: Advice needed
 

Originally Posted by fidobsa (Post 9123378)
Not sure how 50% custody works but I would imagine it could be quite unsettling for your son. I would have thought a more usual arrangement such as you having him on Sundays would be easier for him and might allow you to try new social activities. Do you actually need to move to another country to enjoy life? If your home in Norway now has bad associations you could certainly move but why not stay within reasonable travelling distance for seeing your son and doing the football coaching?

I've had my son for 50% the last 3 years,thats not a problem,unless you like climbing mountains,and i don't,there's nothing here,people here are so laid back they're nearly lying down.10 years + in a place that you don't like aint much of a life.

fidobsa Jan 23rd 2011 9:26 pm

Re: Advice needed
 
Ah, right, I understand now, your previous post didn't make it clear why you were thinking of moving.

Pete63 Jan 25th 2011 5:46 pm

Re: Advice needed
 
I've decided on going back to Germany in the summer,
now to find a job:fingerscrossed:


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