crystalrose

HI ALL YOU WISE PEOPLE

I wish to ask you all to share your wisdom with me. I would like to know the honest positives and negatives of living in France as opposed to living in the UK. We hope to move to near Toulouse, Tarn-Et-Garrone in the not too distant future. Infact we are going to have a look this weekend
It would be nice to know what to expect especially having three young children. Even things like Childrens clubs and an English yoga classes for me if they exisit?

Thank you for taking the time to read my post and for any feedback you have positive or negative is greatly appreciated

dmu

Hi, I gather from your other threads and postings that your OH will continue to work in the UK while looking for a job in France, neither of you speak French, and you'll be living with your in-laws at the beginning. 3 children to bring up.
There are plenty of positives, but I'll be the devil's advocate and just give you the negatives, which are summed up in one word - RECESSION. Jobs for non-French-speaking seekers are rare, at least jobs that offer a high enough income to bring up 3 children without penny-pinching and/or depending on the in-laws.
Haven't they given you any input about living in France? If they are on the spot, they can find out about local Associations and even schools for their grandchildren.
If you're still bent on coming to live here, I'd advise both of you to start learning French!

crystalrose

Hi

Thank you for your honesty!! yes my in laws do give us lots of positives obviously they would love us all to move out tomorrow just to help us. I guess because of what has happended over the last year. Therefore I am asking for negatives and maybe even some more positives. Than they have already told me that "The Education System is far superior to the UK" and "life style is totally more relaxed" . I would just like to hear from other people and their experinces with taking young children out. Of course you are right we do need to learn French easier said than done when you are my age but I will of give it a damn good shot that is all I can do. I just hope that maybe I can find even a cleaning job or Ironing for an English speaking couple, I know dream on . My administration experince will be of course no use without being able to speak French.

Thank you for taking the time to read my thread and replying I do take on board your comments

dennerlymum

I'd agree; we love it here bit have been hit hard by the recession;
I earn the least I ever have in my job and my hubby, like yours will be, is dependent on the pound .
The exchange rate is diabolical at the mo and prices are high here in toulouse (def more than the uk) so be aware that it will cost more to feed, clothe etc yourselves. The only thing cheaper might be housing, although it is more expensive close to toulouse

I would still recommend it but you must come without rose tinted glasses and accept that just like the uk there will be negatives as well as positives;


ps the company I work for is always seeking people able to drive who would teach english; contact me when you arrive and we could chat; no need to be a teacher and training is given; pay is decidedly average though!!

south_bound

Negatives first based on our recent move here (and we know French sufficiently to understand and be understood)

* all things administrative, from it taking 8 weeks to get an internet and phone installed to 3 months and counting for social insurance and assistance medicale. Apparently there are the rules, and then the way of getting things done - which are not the same. We have yet to find how to get things done.
* Lack of urgency from people when trying to get things done - the famous shrug of the shoulders (but see positives below).
* Cost of living for food, furniture, electricals etc. Housing and wine being notable exceptions in most areas.
* The people from the south are noted as being a bit impenetrable in terms of friendliness, or at least we are told it takes a long time to get beyond the initial welcome. That said, our neighbours have been great in accepting us so far.

Positives:
* Much more relaxed way of life (see lack of urgency above). Easy to relax away from work, all neighbours stop to chat in the street, everyone knows someone to ask for advice...
* The weather, and the ability to plan outdoor activities without a Plan B for rain (most of the time).
* Huge range of activities available to all the family. Even in our small town there are all sorts of clubs for the kids, almost weekly festivals & exhibitions, tourist attractions, the beach, hiking...
* Good links to the UK and other parts of Europe (I hesitated whether this should be in the + or - column), depending on your needs.


Its hard to start off, but I think it gets easier. Also, having young kids going to school and doing activities helps to get a routine going in your own life - and seeing how easily they take to it helps witht he motiviation. Thats my 2p worth anyway.

Roger O

Says you live in the Bouche du Rhone on your profile.. not by any chance in that village where 15 people just won the 100million euros by any chance? Just wondering - about the nice neighbours!!

(Sorry to digress a little from the theme!)

south_bound

Unfortunately not, but good on them. I read an article about this, which quoted the mayor of the town saying how they are all good hardworking people who deserved it...not expecting any large donations in the near future I'm sure.

south_bound

I didn't mention schools (you say you have kids of that age). Our limited experience of primary school so far is that the school is a quite bit stricter and serious in terms of getting through the curiculum, tests, marking etc. although all the teachers profess to have a job maintaining discipline (how that relates to UK schools I'm not sure). Class sizes are limited to 30 as in the UK. French and Maths every day, but our kids had already done this year's maths last year in the UK so they seem to lag behind a bit here. There are plenty of outings and lunchtime music, danse and sports start next week. And the kids are happy, which is the main thing at that age!

G-J-B

POSITIVES:
- Reduced tax on income (although see NEG regarding social contributions)
- Superior health care system; private health insurance is relatively cheap and has great benefits
- Cheap wine!
- Housing prices are generally less (Paris is perhaps an exception)
- Tax reductions when you have kids.
- More relaxed pace of life (Paris is probably an exception!)
- Roads are less busy

NEGATIVES:
- Big increase in social contributions (mainly because I'm self-employed)
- Health care not entirely free; not everything is reimbursed.
- Yearly payouts for home owners
- 3 annual building maintenance costs (maybe only applicable to Paris?)
- Food, fuel, motorways, clothing, electronic goods and things in general seem to be a great deal more expensive than the UK... Harder to find the bargains.
- Not speaking a language fluently is a handicap and a little isolating.
- Bureaucracy and form filling is horrendous (still waiting for Carte Vitel after 14months!)
- More complicated to be self-employed
- More unemployment here (made worse by recession)
- No fish and chips (at least for me), and baked beans ultra-expensive.
- Consumer rights almost seem non-existent.

beckle76

Hi,

Before I say anything, I should say that I live in a totally different part of France to where you're looking (in the north), so a lot of things could differ. I agree that there are positives to living in France, perhaps a slower pace of life (although I've never found that French people stress less than us Brits over work - in fact I know quite a few who work unpaid overtime etc.), more space to live in is always nice, supermarket shopping a bit cheaper I think and there are good laws regarding parental/maternity leave providing you have worked for a certain period of time in France. Also the health care system is very good.
As for the negatives, the first big one for me is the difficulty I have experienced in integrating. I have a degree in French, I've lived here for 9 years and I am married to someone French; we have three young children as well. Despite this, I find it a lonely existence here. This is not so much because French people won't have anything to do with me, they are (mostly) friendly enough, but I think that socialising here is much more family-based and in general people meet people at work that they might go out to a restaurant with one evening, but they don't have groups of friends that they socialise with.
The second drawback is work. Basically, I can't find any. I have had a series of teaching jobs just because that was all that was available. They have all been low-paid and either CDD (contrat de durée déterminé) or vacataire status. It's really expensive for companies to give long-term contracts, so while you might get a CDD that is prolonged and prolonged, it's not exactly stable. Being a vacataire basically means you can be dropped without any notice and to compensate this you get a slightly higher salary but no holiday rights and no sick pay if you're ill (I had a nightmare with this when I was ill during my last pregnancy: the doctor signed me off work and I got no sick pay. As I was off for quite a while it also meant I hadn't worked enough hours in the preceding months to get any maternity money so basically, not a centime for months). I have looked into training here as the French system is very different to the UK and I though this might be a step in the right direciton, but there are no local nightclasses and obviously with three young children I can't just go off to university in Paris.
The third big disadvantage for me is school. I know some people have had really positive experiences with their children in schools here but I personally find the system old-fashioned in the extreme. I think what they learn is good and most French people have a well-rounded cultural and academic education, but it's the way it's done. My eldest child has just gone into CP and he sits crying over his homework every night because they have a long day (9h00-16h45) which is tiring, and when he gets home he wants a bit of time to play before dinner, bath and bed. This is upsetting as he always seemed to be to me the kind of child who would love school - his younger brother is not this kind of child, so I am dreading next year when he goes into CP!!For some reason they do no reading or writing in infant school so when they get to CP they have a lot to learn in that year. The other problem I have with it is the fact that the lessons seem to be mostly conducted with them sitting behind desks - they don't do anything interactive or get to use their imaginations. If they want to do anything else (sport, music, drama) it's classed more as a leisure activity and they have to do it on a Wednesday or Saturday.I am so upset at seeing my children cry because they don't want to go to school (and moreover, I can understand why they feel like this) that I am now considering trying to get back to the UK - it is more or less the last straw for me.
Like I said, France certainly has its good points, and I should also add that I did live in the southwest for a year when I did my degree and loved it. I just think that if you're considering a long-term move you should be aware of the negatives too.

beckle76

Sorry, should clarify that they do do some sport at school, just no school football teams etc. Also in favour of schools, the dinners are very good, especially if I compare it to what I had in England (neon yellow curry with sultanas, anyone?)

Courgette

Unless you live in a place where the school dinners are prepared centrally by a mass catering firm and delivered in tureens to the schools to be reheated.

In short, France is as much of a postcode lottery as the UK. For everything. Food prices, house prices, property taxes, how well schools are funded, how good the health service is.

Beckle76 is right about socialising, it is much less spontaneous. It is rare, for example, for two (or more!) women to go for an evening out together. Most socialising is organised in advance, whether communal or in people's houses over dinner, and you will be invited as a couple. There is less of the "dropping in for coffee".

But if you're living with your parents or in-laws, you will tap straight into their social life, so it shouldn't be a problem. Just something to be aware of, perhaps.

crystalrose

Hi Everyone

Thank you all for your wonderful replies!!! I am taking on board the positives and negatives I know it really is not going to be easy. I fly over on Thursday for a long probably extremely busy weekend. I have even been thinking perhaps I should wait and do the final move next year when my daughter at least completes her first year here at High School. It is so hard to know what to do for the best. I do know one thing if France is full of people as friendly and kind as all you seem to be it will be a wonderful place!!!