bsharkey

We're getting married in Tarn-et-Garonne next June as we've had a family home there for 15 years, while we've had no problem arranging the marriage ceremony with the mairie we are having trouble with the church.

A friend of ours used a local (unused) church last year for a small fee for her non-denominational service as it was in their commune and they are run by the mairie (rather than the church).

However when we approached the Abbaye about using our local church (which is unused and on our road) as a venue for our non-denominational service but they have said we need to have our church in the UK apply to the church in the nearest town Montauban in order to use it. This is obviously not possible as we don't have a UK church. Any thoughts how we get around this?
We've been told this shouldn't be required as the church is in our commune but the abbaye seems to be making this impossible. Any ideas??

(I know you may say why are we getting married in a church but it's for the atmosphere and tradition!)

Ka Ora!

Welcome to the Forum...

cjm

Lovely part of France. You did answer the thought that came into my mind. With summer weather in your part may I suggest you look at an outdoor event, check around, after 15 years you must know some wonderful places. Even make it a full outside bash, bring in the trestles and cook pots rather like the French do when they have a large family event. Bet one of the local restaurants would be pleased to set you a menu.
Otherwise, have a lovely day. And, as KO says, welcome.

dmu

Hi, when you say "non-denominational", do you mean that there won't be any officially recognised Minister "blessing" the Civil Marriage? I suspect that the Abbaye (Catholic?) is refusing if no religion is involved. AFAIK, for a benediction in a Catholic church you have to prove that you're baptised, which is probably why they want reference from your UK Church. Have you considered a Protestant Church ("Temple") for your ceremony? No offence to any Catholic members, but the Reformed Church is more broad-minded...
http://temples.free.fr/temples/montauban.htm
indicates that there are several in Montauban...
Hope this helps!

Peabrain

Hello,

You don't say whether yours is a first-time marriage or whether you are a divorced couple, or whether either of you is French and / or Catholic. When in 2010 I got married again after divorce there was no possibility whatsoever of there being a church wedding in a Catholic church; merely a sort of get-together in the local church, with a service led by a priest who was a friend of ours. It was clearly stipulated that there would be no mention of the 'm' word (mariage, not merde.)
I agree that the Protestant Église Réformée de France would be far more open about things, but you'd probably have at least to pretend that there was some sort of religious input, and that it isn't just for "the atmosphere and tradition".
I also agree that whether or not you've been christened comes into it too.
The Catholic church can still be rather demanding as regards children too; when I first got married I had to swear blind that any children would be brought up in the Catholic faith.
Have you looked around the Montauban area to see if there is an Anglican church, as there are quite a few in France and the south west is renowned as a bastion of Protestantism. As Toulouse isn't far, I'd be surprised if there wasn't one somewhere around. That would solve all you problems, and you could get married in English.....
Don't forget to go along to the town hall first though
Good luck
PB

wetwang

We had to find a Church for some Americans who wanted the Church Blessing thing for their marriage. Of course it's all pantomime and pretence using the Church as as a background for photos and makes a mockery of organised religion but each to their own.
However the way we did it was to first track down an Anglican priest . We found one who had contacts at several picturesque little churches. A little bit of money was mentioned and he came up with a choice of willing venues.
The Blessing was appropriate and emotional with the solemnity only a Church can provide and avoided all the chasing about and white lies about faith.

Scots in Treignac

If you used to live in England, you would have been entitled to be married in your local C of E church. The residency is more important than being baptised. I suggest you contact any friends where you used to leave about any help you could get from the vicar of the Parish you used to live in..

If you lived in Scotland, it would be a church of Scotland.

dmu

The OP hasn't given any feedback, and without the necessary details, we can't advise. There are a lot of factors that we don't know about that might be the reason for the Abbaye's reticence.