Photive

Hi all, I'm Peter from Ireland, new to the forum. We had planned as a family to move to France (the lot) next July with our two young boys and our new arrival as of last week, our third boy.
We have just found out that our new little one has a heart condition and without specifics we're wondering if anyone else had experience of moving with a young sick baby? We are unsure whether to continue with the dream at this point however I wanted to ask and see if there any of you who have done something similar. Thanks in advance, Peter

cyrian

Hello Peter
Welcome to the forum.
Really sorry to hear of the little guy's problem.
I would suggest that you put your plans on hold until you fully understand the problems of his condition.
I would wait until you have a stable, manageable condition to cope with before moving.
Do you speak french well enough to discuss perhaps complex and very important information from doctors etc?
Do you have a job to go to that would get you into the french healthcare system?
Do you intend living close to medical facilities/hospital that deals with paediatric cardiology?
France is difficult as far as bureaucracy is concerned and dealing with each Government department can be challenging - even for the french.
Good luck

dmu

+1
Apart from the stress of your coping with settling in France and French bureaucracy, whatever your employment status will be, your older children would be separated from the rest of your family and friends who would otherwise be giving support. Even if you have a job lined up and are in the French healthcare System, and speak adequate French with Doctors, you the parents would still have a sick baby and two older children to care for on your own....
Good luck with your decision and All the Best for your baby!

EuroTrash

Sorry to hear about your situation.
French healthcare is good.
But moving to a different country is inevitably going to bring a certain degree of stress for you all. There's so much unfamiliar stuff to get your heads round, the first few months are a sharp learning curve and most people find that it's not until you've been here for at least a year that you start understanding how it all fits together and how everything works and you know what to expect next.
Another thing to consider is your support network. Do you have extended family and close friends in Ireland, do you have family and friends in France? if you leave behind your support network in Ireland, will it be replaced and if not how much will you miss it?

I guess that's pretty much what the other posters have said.

It's something you have to decide as a family, nobody can advise really, all we can say is, be realistic. You have two little 'uns, how confident and adaptable are they? A lot of kids can be quite needy at first, there can be tears while they get to grips with the challenges of their new environment. How much "quality time" do you and your partner have, will one or both of you be out at work all day or will you be able to share all the settling-in business, looking after the two boys and caring for / arranging care for the tiny one? If you can get through the settling-in stage without cursing the day you moved, it will get easier :-)

Bon courage with it all.

petitefrancaise

Congratulations on your new baby!

I have some relevant experiences here.
I was pregnant when I moved to France ( 5.5 months) and my baby was born prematurely and very, very sick. Upside was that she was immediately transferred to the local, brand new and excellent NICU and I'm sure that was the ONLY reason she survived. World class care. Downside was that my french was basic, I didn't understand everything that drs/nurses said. I cannot tell you how much that added to the stress. I had to trust that they were doing the right thing and I was pretty much numb/in shock anyway.

I've also worked with the special needs children at the same hospital a few years' later. The care is excellent. Truly excellent. However,llooking after a sick child with little/no family to help out and other children as well is really, really tough going. On you, your wife especially and also the other children. Don't underestimate how hard it will be.

I guess what I'm driving at, is that if you think the care will be better in France - and you should investigate the best hospital with the best team for your son - and your son is stable enough to move then it could be an option but I'm adding my voice to the others of at least waiting and seeing. I would put all decisions on hold and concentrate on your family.

Purple Jim

I second what is said above. Think it all out thoroughly before taking the plunge.

Info here:

info droits étrangers

https://www.service-public.fr/partic...vosdroits/N418

L'accueil des nouveaux arrivants en France - Onisep


Science Accueil - Une association locale pour accueillir les nouveaux arrivants, notamment les familles étrangères


If you can't understand what is detailed there, I would't take the risk of coming over.

petitefrancaise

What a load of rubbish.

And that is coming from someone who moved her young family speaking no french, had a special needs kid and worked with them.

I know your intention was good but families with special needs kids move all the time, families with little french move all the time. You have no idea what the OP plans to do or how much support he will get or not from his work. From working experience, most doctors in a hospital environment, and certainly any specialists can all at least read English and understand spoken English. Since so much medical research is in English, a reasonably good level is a requirement for teaching hospitals in France.

OP,should you decide to move and need help, please do come back and ask. I still have some good contacts and would happily reach out for you. Any idea which part of France you would be moving to?

In the meantime, you have plenty to be thinking about and a fair bit of worry too.
My littlest has her birthday today - she is well into her teens and every year, I am so incredibly grateful that I have her.

Purple Jim

Not a load of rubbish at all and yes, my intention was good - I wasn't only referring to medical support.
I wouldn't recommend that anyone should move to another country if they don't have a good grasp of the language, especially with a family (unless one is loaded or cushioned by a very solid organisation/company).

Novocastrian

I actually agree with that. If you have a good job to go to in an organisation which is familiar with employing non-local-language speakers, it isn't a major problem, more a welcome challenge. We need more detail from the OP before jumping to opposite conclusions though.

Chatter Static

You could really soften your approach with people .........

petitefrancaise

I feel like we are squabbling but in my experience near Toulouse where there are many, many families employed by airbus and related companies, the ones that did not bother to learn to speak decent french were the ones supported by their companies. They did not need to go out of their little bubble. Then there were families like mine, that got some support but not a lot and had no choice but to get out there and get on with learning french and getting a job. Then there were others like my closest friends that got no support at all, whose spouses had to learn french pronto and so did they. I think attitude and aptitude is way more important than being cushioned either by money or work environment.

I do however agree that moving internationally is extremely stressful anyway and adding any kind of extra stress is probably something to be very careful about.

dmu

We can but speculate, as the OP seems to have left the room, after posting the one post. It doesn't sound as though he has a job lined up in the Lot, since they are planning for next July....

petitefrancaise

I have a very good friend whose baby was born with a heart problem in italy. They had fabulous doctors and a great lifestyle but their baby could never fly, could not even manage going into the mountains. The stress was enormous even though they both spoke Italian - having to get family out there and not really managing a break from it all. They went home to Scotland when their son was about 4 and finally able to manage the journey by car.

Last figures I saw were that about 90% of couples with special needs kids end up divorced - it's so very, very hard on everyone.

Purple Jim

Photive,
Here is a typical page of a commune giving advice for "les nouveaux arrivants" :
Démarches nouveaux arrivants - Mairie de la Motte (Côtes d'Armor en Bretagne) - Site officiel

Concerning medical issues contact the CPAM and the CAF of the region where you plan to settle.

dmu

This is a good list of "things to do" - not all Communes give such advice on-line and newcomers would have to find the local addresses.
But since the OP has never responded, he must have taken our advice on-board and decided to wait before making a decision....