Andrea50

Off in my own sweet world this afternoon, having just sent the money for the house to the Notaire thinking Thank God it's nearly over, and got an e-mail from my cousin who I wrote to the other night telling her about France, when we are going, what we will be doing etc blah blah and she's just written back and said

"What will you be wearing". And of course, I was going to slink up in hike boots, old cords and a charity shop T shirt with "Kill All Puppy Farmers" printed on the front, which, apparently, is "not appropriate".

So what the hell do I DO?

Do I need (wait for it, I can't bear to even say the word)

A DRESS??????

<thud as Andy faints>

HELP!!!!!!!!!

Andrea50

Bugger, so much in shock I forgot to say

"For this PACS thing" (which I thought was just a bit of paper so Pete won't be homeless if I die, but apparently is something a bit more).

Oh god - please - not A DRESS ..............

treskillard

Wassat?

Andrea50

Well we wanted a way to "protect" each other's interests if one of us dies. In England, it's no problem, but in France because of inheritance laws and not being able to disinherit ones children, I needed a way to ensure he could have the equivalent of a life tenancy of the French property, and, without getting married, people do this PACS thing, which I thought was a simple visit to the Notaire, in, sign it, out, then go do the Acte de Vente, but someone has said it's like a ceremony and people dress up. Well, 1. I hate ceremonies, 2. I hate dressing up. I stupidly thought from reading stuff about it that was a wham bam sign the thing, out and then if I get run over he's ok in the house.

My Death to Puppy Farmers T Shirt doesn't sound like it will cut it with a "ceremony" and I hate dresses so I'm a bit stuffed. I don't want to look disrespectful to the Notaire - they are quite formal types.

At a loss as to what to do really. I hoped someone could say what they did then I'd have some idea.

val50

You want to know what to wear when you go see the Notaire
The same thing you'd wear every day, ding bat. I wore jeans when we went to see ours.
You don't need to do the lady of the manor bit - well not until I come visit you don't

Andrea50

Thank god for you sweetie! I'll reserve the Armani boiler suit for you, and anyway, you're far and away more important than any Notaire!

Wow, feel way better now.

I've found a red carpet too, so better dust that off and put it down the drive for your visit ..............

treskillard

It's a professional visit that she's planning Andy, you know she's converted to mental health care.

Andrea50

treskillard

Cackling like that won't help your case.

Andrea50

"They're coming to take me away, ha ha, he he, to the funny farm,
Where life is beautiful all the time"

There! Prefer my singing?

And talking of cackling, I must remember to take my broomstick ............

How's you today? Having a nice weekend "up north"?

treskillard

one of the kids is ill, she's got the bug...
so our trip to the bluebell wood has been cancelled til next week.
two other little ones around both about to go wild.
no partner as she's off in anglesea learning to sea kayak.

Andrea50

Oh lord, poor you. Abandoned in a mad house!

Tuck up sick one in bed with a gameboy (computer game, just to be clear)
Sit little ones in front of tv to prevent mayhem
Then relax and have a coffee (laced with whatever takes yer fancy)
And pray your OH returns, as if it's as windy in Anglesey as it is here I wouldn't fancy her chances!!!!!!

Or give them a selection of house detritus like toilet roll innards and scraps of paper and stuff and get them to make a scale model of the Titanic - that used to shut Kat up for years ............. and even at 22 she still hasn't finished it.

treskillard

can't i just beat them?

Andrea50

Well, that's always an option, but by the time Kat was 9 she was bigger than me and it would have resulted in Sudden Horrible Death (to me that is) if I had ever tried the heavy-handed approach.

Controlling kids is just like controlling animals (and men).

1. Try gentle discussion and common sense. When that don't work try:
2. Bribery and corruption, such as sweets and telly in return for good behaviour. If that don't work try:
3. Bribes that will never happen. Like, "You can trash the house at 5.00 if you behave for 3 hours before that" (and make sure you take them out at 4.30). If that don't work try:
4. Gentle threats: No TV after 7.00 if you don't behave. (But be prepared for Utter Mayhem if you have to try to enforce it, unless point 3 suceeded and they have already trashed the telly)
5. Calpol if they are young enough as they will go to sleep.
6. Alcohol - used carefully, this can dull them down a bit. Works with men anyway .........
7. Level 2 threats or bribes which usually involve money (basically, yours becoming theirs or theirs becoming yours. In the case of the latter, it's usually more a case of what was yours and became theirs, becoming yours again)
8. Scary films. Kat behaved for a whole MONTH after watching The Ventriloquist's Dummy on horror channel (well, she was only 8)
9. Engaging them in very vigorous activity. Usually the downside is you have to do it too and they are younger so you get more knackered than them.
10. Hide and seek. And tell them you will count to 3,038,462.

And if all else fails, there is always violence, but if they are over 6 feet I'd be careful of that, as it could be them driving YOU to hospital.

And if you get totally desperate, book yourself onto a sea kayacking course and get your OH to cope with the kids!!

smithyandlisa

What's a dress? I certainly don't have one and the Notaire was fine with me.